The Girl In The Background – A Young Sherlock Holmes Story

(Part 1)

"Your brother's here," I smiled, taking the little girl's hand. Lily Holmes smiled up at me fondly, her thick eyelashes fluttering. She tugged her babysitter and part-time governess to the door – that babysitter and part-time governess who, in fact, was I. Opening the heavy oaken door to my manor, my eyes rested upon the boy standing before me, right on time as usual to pick up his sister. I would never get tired of seeing his handsome, smiling face. He was fourteen, just as I was, maybe a month or so older. His jet black hair was thick and silky, draping slightly into his forehead. I have no idea how long I have wanted to run my fingers through those shiny, luxuriant locks, but I quickly shook the thought from my head when I realised I was staring.

Piercing, stormy grey eyes met mine, and I could not help but lose myself in them. "Rosella," his voice is low and deep and contemplative – a rare baritone I could recognise anywhere. "Sherlock," I smiled, "how are you?"

"Very well, thank you," he smiled back with a winning grin, taking my hand gently in his own and kissing it. His proper Victorian manners are just one of the many things I admire about him. I felt a light blush creep into my cheeks and my smile widened, "And yourself, Rosella?" "Good, thank you," I responded, looking down at his little sister who had by now attached herself to my dress. I laughed a little and shook my head fondly, patting her back, "Come on Lily, time to go home." I said.

The girl gave a small whine and clung tighter to the skirt of my violet gown, "Can't I walk with you?" "I have work to do, and your brother has a party to attend, I believe." I looked up at Sherlock, waiting to say goodbye, when I heard a small gasp at my side, "You're not coming to the ball with Sherlock?" My smile faltered, and I felt myself chewing on my lower lip, "No. No – I believe your brother is taking Virginia."

Instantly, Lily's face twisted into one of distaste, "Virginia Crowe?" she frowned, looking up at her elder brother, "Sherlock, I can't believe you didn't ask Rosella! And I can't believe no one else asked you!" It was Sherlock's turn to flush crimson. "Ro, I'm so sorry, I – " "It's no matter at all!" I interrupted, shaking my head profusely, "It's fine, I'm busy anyway…"

"No you're not!" Lily cut in with a decided voice, "You can still come with us, I know you want to." "Lily," I said sternly, giving her a pointed look, "it's time you went home; you'll be leaving for the party soon. Even if I wanted to come, I'm not dressed." "You can just come in what you're wearing. You always look beautiful," she smiled sweetly, taking my hand in her own smaller one and giving it a squeeze, "doesn't she, Sherlock?"

Her brother cast his gaze on the floor, clearing his throat nervously, "Yes…yes, I'm sure she does."

I unconsciously turned away myself, putting a delicate hand on the edge of the doorway I was standing inside, "Well, I'll see you tomorrow, Sherlock?" He nodded, still seeming awkward. Lily and I were going to have a long talk about acting one's age the next day. "Yes – see you tomorrow," he offered an apologetic smile, which I returned with a reassuring one, giving the pair a final wave and watching the two Holmeses start down the carriageway. Lily turned back to blow me a kiss and wave sadly. I blew one back before closing the door, leaning heavily against it and letting out a long sigh, closing my eyes briefly.

I suppose it shouldn't have hurt deep down to know that Sherlock had not even mentioned the autumn ball which was being hosted in the local area. His Aunt had told me about it when I was helping her tend to the roses in the gardens of Holmes Manor, and I must admit that I had been foolish enough to let myself hope that Sherlock would have asked me to accompany him. We had known each other for more than two years and our parents had been good friends even before we had ever spoken. Not only did I act as governess to Sherlock's younger sister, but I also spent a lot of time helping his Uncle, Sherrinford Holmes, with much of his filing and writing in regards to his role as a religious scholar. This, of course, meant I whiled away a great deal of my time in their library with the raven-haired boy I had come to grow so attached to.

Pulling myself together, I picked up the pile of books Lily had asked me to read from. I looked over her choices with a smile – Dickens, Conan Doyle and even Shakespeare – the last of which she was least fond, seemingly because of the unhappy endings. Slowly, I slipped them back into the gaps they had left on my bookcase, wishing I could only close these gaps in my heart. Every time I closed my eyes all I saw was those sharp, familiar features – his cheeky, knowing grin as he read my thoughts before I spoke them, and I let out a shaky breath. He would never feel the same way about me as I did about him. The sooner I accepted that, the better.

I was startled from my thoughts as I heard a knock on the door again, and I hurried down the stairs to pull it open. "Matty," I smiled brightly, laughing at Matthew Arnatt's expression of unabashed surprise as his eyes settled upon me, "you look like you've seen a ghost. Am I out of place in my own home?" I stepped back to let him in, and as he walked past me he still looked confused, "Nah… it's just that…it's not like you to be late, that's all." "Late?" it was my turn to look lost.

"For the Farnham autumn ball – I didn't expect to find you home. I was going to give this to your housekeeper for you," he waved a map in explanation. I averted my gaze, shaking my head, "Oh, yes…the autumn ball. I'm not going." I said in a quiet voice. This time, Matthew – or, Matty, as Sherlock and I (being his only real friends in years) have the permission to call him – looked more shocked than surprised.

"Oh? You turned Sherlock down? It's probably out of my place to ask why, but – " "Matty," I broke in softly, my tone cutting off his rant, "he's taking Virginia. I didn't get asked." I suppose that was because most people would think the youngest of the Holmes brothers would be escorting me anyway – we were usually together most of the time and I even had the privilege to join him on some of his adventures, along with Matty Arnatt and his violin teacher, Mr Rufus Stone.

The boy opened his mouth and closed it again, doing a notable expression of a goldfish. "I…he…what?" staring at me and looking truly dumbfounded, it took him a moment to realise what I had actually said. Instantly, his face set. "He didn't ask you?" he seethed, eyes narrowed, "That ungrateful sod! You do everythin' for him. Who does he imagine takes care of his sister and makes sure his maids make his breakfast right every mornin'?" "It doesn't matter, really. I didn't expect him to ask, he's not like that."

"Darn right he ain't! I've never seen nobody use somebody like that. You have rights too! And to take Virginia of all people…all she does is career around the woods on that horse of hers. She's useless." "Matthew Arnatt!" I reprimanded, looking unimpressed, "You shouldn't talk about people like that." "But it's true!" he protested with a huff, burying his hands into the pockets of his jacket. He looked me over with a thoughtful expression, before a determined look flashed into his coppery eyes, "You know what, you're goin' with me!" he announced, offering a smile, "And no buts. If you want to go change, you can – I'll only give you ten minutes though, can't wait forever." "But Matthew…" "No buts, didn' I say that? Off you go, now!"

The room fell silent as I stepped into the main hall, all eyes turning to me and the boy whose arm I was on. Matty quirked a smile at the staring crowd, leading me past the guests into the main corridor which had been lined with exquisite paintings and rare pieces of art. My dress, which flowed down past my ankles, started as a deep wine red at the bodice and melted into a light reddish-pink hue towards the bottom of the skirt, was done up with a golden sash which matched the hairpin in my ebony hair.

"You look gorgeous," my friend grinned from beside me, and I allowed myself a small smile in return. Before I could answer, though, I felt a familiar tug on the skirt of my ball gown. "Hello, Lily," I said brightly, leaning down to scoop her up into my arms, "are you enjoying yourself?" "I am now that you're here!" she announced, wrapping her arms around my neck. Smiling genuinely, I nuzzled her cheek with my nose, gently and affectionately. "Well, it's good Matthew convinced me to come then, isn't it?" She nodded, giving the named boy a happy wave.

"Lily! Lilly! For goodness' sake – I told you to stay close!" looking flustered, Sherlock ran into the corridor, almost colliding with me in his worry. When he saw me, though, he managed to come to an abrupt halt just in time. "Oh, Rosella…hello. It's nice to see you." Looking up at his sister, he rolled his eyes, "Come down here, Lily," but though he offered his arms to her, she shook her head and buried herself deeper against my shoulder. Shrugging, he turned to face me, "Well, I feel popular. So, you came after all?"

"She did – with me." Matthew piped up suddenly, coming to stand beside me almost defiantly, "Where's Virginia?" I noticed Sherlock retract a bit at his icy tone, and I laid a soothing hand on Matthew's shoulder, forcing him to calm down a bit. After a moment, Sherlock spoke, "Off dancing I think. Not my sort of thing." Meanwhile, I managed to peel the child off my shoulder and hand her over to her brother – much to her apparent dislike – before I nervously folded my arms. "Maybe you should go find her. I know you're a good dancer – you're good at everything – and I'm certain you two have danced before."

"Thank you, but I'm not really in the mood," he shrugged nonchalantly, though I could see he was torn between glowing with praise from the compliment and admitting that perhaps Virginia had already found a dance partner. If only he could see how well I knew him – I had him memorised inside out, and I probably understood him better than I understood myself, which was the opposite of an easy task. Seeing that I was mentally absent, he smiled, tilting his head to catch my gaze, "What're you thinking about?"

"Oh! Me? Nothing…" I was aware of my face rapidly turning red as I cast my eyes to the ground, "I mean…nothing important." "Right," he grinned, laughing lightly, "I suppose that'll have to be a sufficient answer for now. Anyway, how would you like to join me on a tour of the grounds?" it took a moment for me to realise that the question was directed at me, and I truly did not know how to answer it. Thankfully, Matty stepped in to save the situation. "I believe that honour will have to be mine," the boy said, linking his arm protectively back through my own, "after all, I did bring her myself."

"Yes…of course, sorry." Sherlock answered, realising he had been speaking out of place. I gently placed my hand on his shoulder. "Are you alright?" The boy nodded quickly, but I could see the flash of inner conflict in his eyes. He was always alright – always saying he was fine, just because he was not used to anyone asking him how he was anyway. Except for me, of course, but I suppose I didn't count.

As I watched him walk away to find Virginia, I could not help the way my heart skipped a beat – a result of my own inner battle and affection deciding to voice themselves at once. He would never understand how much I loved him, he would never believe it. Perhaps I would never be able to tell him how I felt either, because just maybe he was somebody else's before I even had a chance to make him mine. I would always be the girl in the background, surrounded by the happiness that would never be mine.

In the midst of all my thoughts, I felt a tug on my hand. "Come on," Matty said quietly, "let's go, Rosella."