A/N: I have loads of half written Jily oneshots floating around on my phone – trying to complete them and get them up soon!
The war against He Who Must Not Be Named - or against the muggleborns, whichever side you were on - had been raging for years, the wizarding community crumbling, taking the non-magical world slowly declining along with it.
It wasn't until January of her seventh year at Hogwarts that Lily Evans finally realised the implications this had for her.
Walking into her head of house's office for her final careers advice meeting at Hogwarts didn't seem like a big deal at the time, but she would remember it well.
"So, Miss Evans," began Professor McGonagall with a glance at the parchment in front of her. "Your high grades in most subjects - though I assume Divination will not be your future career - should make it relatively simple for you to acquire the job you desire. Which would be…?"
"A Healer, Professor." Lily supplied confidently.
Hesitating, McGonagall gave a tight lipped smile. "Brilliant. You'd make a fine Healer, Evans. Your position as Head Girl should make you a prime candidate."
Lily frowned. "Pardon me, Professor, but you keep saying 'should'. Will I not be a prime candidate?"
"Lily," McGonagall sighed. Lily braced herself for what was coming next. Whenever this particular Professor used first names, it was bad news. "With the, ahem, current state of the Wizarding World, you may find it… difficult to find yourself a job."
Feeling deflated, Lily crumpled back in her chair.
McGonagall waited for Lily to speak, but when it was clear the head girl was going to remain silent, she continued. "However, this war must end soon, and I am certain we will be victorious. Until then, I'm afraid you may find yourself lacking the employment you deserve."
Throughout McGonagall's words, Lily found herself gaining resolve, so when the Professor finished, Lily began her tirade. "I've worked harder than anyone. I'm top of the year and Head Girl for good reason." As if to prove her point, Lily stood up, fingering her Head Girl badge as she did so. If Professor McGonagall thought this inappropriate or intimidating, she didn't show it. "All my time at this school has been spent slaving over essays and exams, and you're telling me - the whole world is telling me that I'm not worthy of a job because my parents happen to be muggles?!"
Lily looked expectantly at her wise head of house with tear filled eyes, expecting her to say 'Of course not, Lily, you can be whatever you want to be!' This was reality, not a dream world, so that didn't happen.
Instead McGonagall sighed, again, and remained silent as she pushed her tray of biscuits closer to Lily, who eyed them woefully.
My whole future is crumbling around me, thought Lily, and she's offering me biscuits.
Now feeling embarrassed as well as defeated, Lily placed a hand on the back of her chair, but didn't sit. "I'm sorry, Professor, it just - I just -"
McGonagall cut off Lily's half apologies. "I understand, Evans, but surely you've realised this before?"
The careful question was enough to send Lily over a different edge. As the first tear leaked from her eye, she bolted from the office, pausing only to wrench the door open.
Lessons were ongoing - Lily had gotten out of Charms to attend the meeting - so running to her friends was out of the question. She did the second best thing and ran into the first empty classroom.
Still choking back sobs, Lily saw that she was in a Transfiguration room, still stocked with pillows from third years who had been attempting to turn pillows into bricks. (Thankfully, none of them were successful, leaving no bricks for Lily to throw in frustration.)
It was only when she was sat on a pillow on the floor that she allowed herself to freely sob into a second pillow she was hugging. She was mourning the future she thought she had. Beyond that, she was mourning the loss of world she used to think was indestructible. She used to think if something's magic, surely there's no problems.
Problems in a magic world only exist when the opposition is magic too.
The door opened, and then closed as someone stepped in. Quickly, Lily attempted to stifle her sobs and simultaneously freeze so the new arrival may not see her.
Obviously, this was not a dream world.
"Lily?" The voice, however unwelcome another person should be right now, provided some comfort.
Looking up from the damp pillow, Lily wiped tears from her eyes as she made out a tall figure topped with a mess of black hair standing by the door. Her heart fluttered involuntarily.
"Potter," she said by way of greeting, her voice slightly hoarse. "What on Earth are you doing here?"
"McGonagall said you were upset."
Lily looked at him curiously. "She told you?"
"I ran into her," he offered apologetically, turning to leave.
Immediately, Lily regretted her tone, especially once she saw the hurt look flash on his face. "Sorry, I didn't mean it like that."
A slight smile crossed James' lips and he began slowly crossing the room. "Plus, I'm Head Boy, extremely responsible and all that, the perfect person to console a crying witch," when aforementioned crying witch did nothing but smile sadly, he continued, "and we're friends, right?"
"Yeah, friends. Good friends."
Neither of them mentioned what Lily had come to think of as the 'Astronomy Tower Incident'. At her "friends" agreement, James came to a halt, standing in front of Lily, unsure as how to continue.
"How did you…?" Lily trailed off, eyeing the parchment sticking out of James' robe. "That bloody map."
A chuckle. "I knew I shouldn't have told you about the map. Can I join you?" He asked tentatively.
"Sure. Grab a pillow and join the pity party."
Despite her suggestion, James sat on the floor without a pillow, leaving a wands length worth of space between them. A safe distance. "What's wrong?" he said without hesitation.
Lily, however, did hesitate. "Nothing."
"This doesn't look like nothing." James noted, gesturing at his companion's tear stained face.
Sinking her face into the pillow, Lily mumbled, "You wouldn't understand."
"I wouldn't understand?" James repeated indignantly. Softly, he added, "Try me."
Sometimes, she thought, James Potter is completely insufferable, but, other times…
Lifting her head yet again, Lily wiped traces of tears from her face and eyes. She took a deep breath. "All my life I've wanted to be a Healer. Before I even knew about magic, I wanted to be a muggle doctor. Saving lives is all I've ever wanted to do, and I know I can do it. I've got the grades, the ability, the compassion, but I've just been told that I can't make my dream come true."
"Why not?" James frowned. "You're Lily Evans; you can do whatever you want."
Through the tears that had surfaced as she was retelling the story, Lily smiled at the conviction in James' voice. "No, I can't," the smile disappeared, "I'm Lily Evans, mudblood."
"Don't," James' voice was sharp. "Ever call yourself that."
Lily bowed her head so her forehead was touching the pillow and let the tears flow onto the fabric. "It's true. Even if they sympathise, no-one will employ me because of my blood. You-Know-Who has made sure of that."
James reached over the invisible barrier between them to place his hand on Lily's arm and give it a comforting squeeze. "Lily, if someone rejected you because of your blood, they'd be the stupidest person in Britain."
"It doesn't matter how stupid they'd be, I'd still have no job."
Lily leaned her head back against the wall. James didn't move his hand from her arm.
"It'll be over soon." said James, referencing the on-going war, but his voice lacked his usual conviction. Lily didn't reply. She could feel him looking at her, making a slight blush creep into her cheeks. Hopefully, James didn't notice. Under no circumstances was the Astronomy Tower Incident being repeated.
For five whole minutes, a somewhat comfortable silence ensued, allowing Lily to subdue her tears.
"Bullshit!" James cried finally, causing Lily to jump. "You're the best witch I've ever known!"
"Thanks, but that's not going to help me get a job. If any stupid pureblood in this stupid world that's anything but pureblooded looks at me now, all they'll see is dirty blood. They'll see dirty blood, a magic thief who doesn't deserve to work with them, or under them, or at all." James' hand fell from Lily's arm as she threw her pillow she was holding across the room in frustration.
Stuck for words, James said the only thing he knew for certain. "Your blood status has never meant anything to me. If anything, it makes you more remarkable."
Fortunately for James, this was the right thing to say, as Lily leaned over into the suddenly too big space between them.
"Of course you don't care - of course." She muttered in response to the questioning look on James' face.
He opened his mouth to speak, but Lily's mouth closed over his before he could say a word.
He kissed her back, of course, but after a few seconds, he broke away regretfully. "This keeps happening, doesn't it?"
Lily smiled. "The other week, in the Astronomy Tower…"
"I didn't mean for that to happen," James said quickly. "It's just you were there alone, I wondered what you were doing. I wasn't exactly planning on kissing you." He looked at Lily, mere centimetres from him, searching her face for any hint she disapproved of the kissing, then or now.
"I've wanted to do it again for quite a while."
"Really?"
In response, Lily leaned back in and caught his lips.
If James was surprised with the sudden turn of events, he didn't show it as he skilfully manoeuvred Lily onto his lap. The pillow she had been sat on lay forgotten. Her hands were in his hair, his on her back and both of them were wondering how the hell this happened, again, but glad that it did.
"Will you go out with me?" James asked against Lily's lips. Then, he realised what he had said and hastily pulled back, forcing Lily to drop her hands.
"Crap, sorry," he apologised, running a hand through his recently vacated hair and wondering why Lily hadn't yet jumped off his lap and ran out the door. "I didn't mean to actually say that."
James was going to trip over some more words, but none came when Lily leaned her head against his shoulder.
"Yes."
That one simple word from that one deliciously complicated mouth was James' new favourite thing to hear.
"Say that again." He said disbelievingly.
"Yes." Lily repeated with a laugh and a slight roll of her eyes.
James snaked an arm around Lily's shoulders. "Why the change of heart?"
"Well, if I didn't, this would've kept happening until I did," she said, pressing her finger to his lips for a fraction of a second. "And you're not a bully anymore. I like the new you."
Lily opened her mouth slightly as if to keep speaking, but said nothing.
"There's something else, isn't there?" James prompted. "A reason why you said yes now instead of a year ago?"
When Lily hid her face in his neck, James took that as another 'yes'.
"Tell me," He coaxed. "I won't mind."
Slowly, Lily turned her head to look up at James. "It's just that today has made me realise that nothing's guaranteed. So if I like you, which I do, there's no point sitting around and waiting for something else to bring us together. I may not be able to get a job when I leave school but I might have a boyfriend and that's probably the best I can do."
Yet again, Lily felt tears starting to form as she faced her future which now felt so hopeless.
"Lily -" James started, sensing another spillage of tears.
"Just let me talk," she interrupted, "I need to get this out."
"Go on," James sighed resignedly.
"If I can't get a job, I can't support support myself. My parents are dead, my sister won't speak to me; it's just me against the world. Even if this war ends, who knows who's going to win? If Voldemort wins, it's the end of me anyway, I'll be killed, and I've made peace with that. But there's no way in hell I'm just sitting around, alone waiting for that to happen!"
"You're not going to die," James promised, wiping away a few spilled tears off Lily's face.
"You can't be sure of that."
James traced circles on Lily's arm. "I didn't waste seven years convincing you to go out with me just for you to die."
"Is big strong James Potter going to protect me?"
"Big strong Lily Evans can do that for herself." James said, and Lily laughed. He added, "I'll just make sure no-one comes up behind you."
Laughing, Lily leaned in closer. "Thanks."
"Anyway," begins James. "You don't think I'm going to let you starve with no roof over your head, do you?"
Lily turned her head so she was facing James directly. "Thanks, James, but I can't accept your charity."
"Charity?" James scoffed.
"It's only because you - " Trailing off, Lily broke eye contact.
"Because I what? Because I've fancied you for years? Lily, I'd do it even if I didn't like you. You're an amazing witch and you deserve to make something wonderful of your life."
"I guess it couldn't hurt." Lily murmured, because, really, her stubbornness would get her nowhere.
James grinned and put both of his arms around Lily, holding her tight.
"And as for not sitting around waiting to be killed; we'll fight. You, me, Sirius, Remus, Peter, Mary, Marlene, Hestia… we'll fight until You-Know-Who is gone and you're named the youngest ever Head Healer at St. Mungo's."
Lily laughed. "That's a big promise to be making at seventeen, James."
"I'm nearly eighteen, will it be better to make it then."
"Not particularly."
"Then I'm making it now." said James with conviction. "It's going to happen, just you wait."
Lily removed James' arms from around her, and kissed his cheek before standing up. She grabbed the Marauder's Map from James' pocket and tapped it, saying "I solemnly swear I am up to no good". As she checked the location of her friends and of James', she was delighted to see the look of awe on his face as she correctly used the map.
"Where're you going?" James asked as Lily handed back the Map.
"We," Lily reached a hand out to James and pulled him up, "are going back to Gryffindor Tower so you," she prodded him in the chest, "can tell all your friends that they're going to help me become a Healer."
"Nice to see you're back to your bossy old self."
Lily laughed. "You knew what you were getting yourself into."
"Can I introduce you to them as my girlfriend?"
Rolling her eyes, Lily said, "If you must."
Suddenly much more eager, James pulled Lily by the hand to the door and into the corridor beyond. It was now lunchtime, so a few students stared at Lily and James as they ambled past. They had nearly reached Gryffindor Tower when they found themselves facing Professor McGonagall.
"Ah, Evans, I was just looking for you." Their Head of House looked from Lily to James and back, taking in their smiling faces. "I see you're over the shock?" Lily didn't miss the way her eyes travelled down to the conjoined hands of the Head Boy and Girl.
"Yes, Professor, my girlfriend Lily is on course to become the youngest ever Head Healer at St. Mungo's." James boasted.
"Is that so?" asked the Professor. The smile on her face was barely visible, but definitely there.
"Apparently so," Lily struggled to keep McGonagall in her view as James continued to pull her towards the portrait hole, "After we've defeated You-Know-Who of course."
Lily couldn't quite hear over the sound of James giving the Fat Lady the password ("Resolution!") but she swore McGonagall said "Good for you, Evans."
Then, Lily was clambering into the Common Room behind James – who was shouting for "Sirius Black, you lazy bastard" – with a newfound hope blossoming in her chest.
A/N: Thanks for reading, hope it wasn't too awful, and feel free to tell me about spelling/ grammar/ general awfulness in a review. (Or if you thought it was good, that's always nice to hear too.)