Title: Fading Away
Summary: Heavy angst. The stress of being IR's field commander is becoming too much for Scott, and he's slowly slipping away. But does anyone even notice?
Rating: PG-13 (Note: British and have no idea what I'm doing!)
Disclaimer: I don't own Thunderbirds, in any way, shape or form. Don't bother suing, I'm poor.
Author's note: First fanfic. Scarier words have never been spoken. Please R&R! All constructive criticism will be gladly accepted, however, flames will be used to melt chocolate. :-)
SCOTT
They can never know.
I stand on the cliff, watching them. Laughing and joking. They look so carefree.
My attention is drawn as Gordon pushes Alan in the pool, and a smile twitches involuntary on my lips. Always a joker, even as a child. I smile and remember my exasperation as every day, inevitably, things would disappear, and there'd be a twinkle in his eye.
My attention turns to John. Always the quiet one. I miss him when he's up in space, manning Thunderbird Five. We all do. Especially Alan, for he barely gets to see his brother, except for brief periods between shift swapping. I'm glad Brains is up there now. It gives him a break. I worry about John, being stuck up there on his own. How must he feel, every time he informs us of a rescue? Stranded, thousands of miles away, unable to help, only able to relay information and comforting words. He handles it though. He's strong. We all are. We all have to be.
Alan. The baby of the family. He hates being called that. He thinks we don't trust him. Yet Father sends him out on the rescues. You'd think that would tell him something. I can always tell that it annoys him when I try to protect him. It's only because I care, Virgil tells him. I practically raised him. I can't help it. He's more like a son than a brother to me.
Virgil. The artist of the family. He understands more than the others. He always worries about me. I can see him now, scanning around urgently for me. He thinks I isolate myself too much. He doesn't fully understand. They can never fully understand. The burden of being the oldest. I have to look out for them all. Ever since Mom died…
Father fell apart. He was so grief stricken, he couldn't even begin to think of us. The reminders of what we were. It fell to me to raise my brothers. Most of the time, I like being the oldest. But sometimes….sometimes…it's so hard to even get up.
VIRGIL
I see him, standing on the cliff. Watching over us. Like he always has done. He knows I worry. Yet, he tells me not to. "I'm fine" he always says. It's crystal clear that he isn't. Father doesn't see. All he sees is his oldest son, doing what he always has. He doesn't understand that he's breaking under the strain. Can't see that the protective walls he put up after Mom died are being chipped away. He never let himself grieve. He was too concerned with us. He always puts us first. But one day, he's going to have to think about his own welfare. He has to. Before we lose Scott altogether…