Author's Note: I had the inspiration to write something like this while I suffered through the waiter minigame in Dahngrest. I wrote it up, but I didn't check through the Vesperia fanfiction section beforehand to see if anyone else had tried it. I did notice one other submission with the "Yuri tries the waiter game" theme, but I'm not sure if there are more. Nevertheless, I hope you enjoy this oneshot...I certainly had fun writing it.
Disclaimer: I do not own Tales of Vesperia.
Order Up!
Raven suddenly put a hand to his growling stomach. "I'm starved. Let's go get something to eat," he begged, turning to stare pitifully at the others. "It's been hours since we last ate something, and it was just a snack we stopped to make on the road…"
"Let's get a real meal tonight," Yuri agreed.
Karol sighed, reached into his massive bag, and presented a small, deflated leather sack. "Tough luck. We're low on Gald."
"What? Already? What did we spend it all on?"
"A luxurious trip to the spa, if I'm remembering right," Judith said slyly, putting a slim finger to her cheek.
Raven sighed, his shoulders slumping forward. "Looks like we won't be getting a nice, warm bed to sleep in tonight…or a full stomach…"
"Well, I know one way to get money," Estelle offered, a smile slowly crossing her face.
"Please share your wisdom with the old man, darlin'."
"Why don't we go help out at the Sagittarius? They pay well if we do a good job."
"Ugh, I hate working at that tavern," Rita said with a grimace. "The people always place such ridiculous orders."
"Yeah, you're right," Raven agreed. "They're so hard on my old, tired bones."
"Come on, it's not that bad," Yuri said. "Besides, I saw you in the desert, old man. You were skipping like a schoolgirl."
Raven dramatically threw up his hands. "I wasn't carrying heavy plates!"
"If you think it's so easy, why don't you give it a try?" Rita demanded, pointing an accusing finger in Yuri's direction. "I've never seen you take an order before."
Yuri shrugged. "I don't want to wait on tables. It's like you said, the people there are too demanding."
"But you just said it looked easy," Estelle said.
"Yeah, but-"
"You were the one who complained about being hungry, Yuri," Karol added, staring forlornly at the small sack of Gald. "Why don't you give it a try? It's not that bad…sometimes," he added in a low whisper.
Raven poked Yuri in the stomach. "Help out a senior citizen, would ya?"
Six sets of pleading eyes suddenly locked on his. Yuri turned away and gripped the edge of the ship, forcing his gaze to the rolling landscape below. For now, Ba'ul was hovering miles above Dahngrest—the guild city looked magnificent in the dying light of the setting sun, but Yuri was too distracted by the taunting images of food dancing in his mind's eye to admire the sight.
"Fine," he muttered reluctantly, giving in to the hollow ache in his empty stomach. "I'll give waiting tables a try if none of you will."
The Sagittarius was buzzing with activity when Yuri walked inside, followed closely by Estelle and the others. One tired-looking waitress was weaving through the crowded tables, setting full plates of rappig meat and dumplings in front of the rowdy customers. Yuri was quickly rethinking his offer when his hungry companions dragged him to the front counter.
"Oh!" The head waitress recognized them right away. "Are you here to help me out again?"
"Yeah," Yuri said, staring nervously at a cane-wielding man who was yelling at the waitress standing in front of his table. "I was going to…ask if I could help serve tonight."
A wan grin spread over the woman's face. "Thank goodness. We're really short on help tonight, and as you can see, we're pretty full. Do you know what you need to do?"
"He's seen us work plenty of times," Rita said deviously. "I'm sure he'll pick up fast."
"Oh, hey! Do you get a uniform like we did, Yuri?" Karol asked.
"He can always borrow mine," Raven offered. "It was stitched with love, and I'm always willing to share love."
"Thanks, but no thanks," Yuri said. "I just want to get this over with."
"Excellent. You can get started right away," the head waitress said, glancing over his shoulder. "Oh, it looks like more customers are about to arrive!"
Yuri scowled and looked back at his 'friends'. "Why don't you all suit up and help out?"
"Oh, I wouldn't dare rob you of this experience," Judith said. Yuri thought she was being sarcastic, but her tone was completely mirthless.
Karol pumped a fist in the air as they retreated to the safety of a side room. "Break a leg!"
"Literally," Rita added.
Raven clapped him on the back. "Make this old man proud!"
Estelle was the last to go, and she offered him a quick smile. "Do your best."
They're all treating me like a soldier heading out to war, Yuri thought. He turned back to the crowd of salivating customers waiting behind him and swallowed loudly. I guess they're not too far off the mark.
The first diner to call his attention was a harmless-looking young woman. "Let's see… I'd like one Amango tea and a side of clam chowder," she said, pointing to the items on a paper menu.
"Hey, that's easy to remember," Yuri said to himself as he went back to place the order. "Maybe this won't be so bad. I don't get why Raven and Rita are always complaining…"
With one customer successfully served, Yuri felt his spirits lifting. He managed to survive two more people—a cheerful boy and a tired old man—without incident.
But one man in the back—he looked like a barbarian, dressed in well-worn pants and a horned helmet—gave Yuri an uncharacteristic chill when he saw him. "Hey, come on, I'm starving over here!" the man said, pounding an empty glass against the wooden table. Unpleasant memories of Rita's last serving job came rushing back; she had served a similar man, if Yuri recalled correctly, and things hadn't gone quite so well. He had been amused by the entire affair at the time, but he wasn't laughing now.
"I'll take five rappig steaks, four of the Don's Special, six bowls of tomato soup, and eight orders of the earth spirit parfait," the barbarian said, slapping the palm of his hand on a menu.
Yuri's eyes swept over the man's table. He appeared to be alone, but he was ordering enough food to feed the Krityan city.
"What are you standin' around for?! Hurry up and get my food!" the man snarled.
"All right, all right!" Yuri said, already exasperated, as he raced to the counter. Maybe this was why his companions—with the exceptions of the ever-helpful Estelle and Judith—flinched whenever someone suggested helping out at the Sagittarius.
"Thanks for the wait!" the head waitress said cheerfully as she slid the order across the counter. Yuri took the plates and balanced them on the crook of his arms—he had seen Judith do it gracefully earlier, and she made it look so easily. The plates teetered precariously in his grasp, and he finally shifted them back to his hands. He didn't want to risk another pissed-off customer.
"Finally!" the man said when Yuri dropped the food in front of him. "I was starved!"
"That's what you get for ordering an inhuman amount of food," Yuri muttered darkly, using the end of his sleeve to wipe the sweat from his brow. His heart sunk again when he saw the waves of people still waiting to be served. People were calling him from every corner of the tavern.
"Excuse me…"
"I'm ready to place my order!"
"Uhm, waiter?"
"Hey!"
Yuri had to resist the urge to take his notepad and throw it at a wall. "I'm coming," he called instead, moving to the nearest customer.
"I called you before him!" someone on the other side of the room cried. Yuri ignored them and turned his attention to the old, decidedly plump man sitting before him.
"I'll take six earth spirit parfaits… No, forget the last one. Four bowls of clam chowder. No, wait, forget that last one…"
Yuri sighed loudly, and the man suddenly snapped his fingers. "Fourteen dumplings, ten chocolate cakes, and eleven servings of ice cream."
Yuri was sure his face went completely white, or at least his jaw dropped. Could someone that man's age—and size—eat that much without going into cardiac arrest?
"Are you going to go get that food, or not?" the old man asked, raising a grizzled eyebrow.
"Yeah, I've got it." Yuri spun around and returned to the front counter.
"Here you go. Looks like this customer's got a sweet tooth," the head waitress said as she handed Yuri the orders. He hefted the plates and bowls in his hands and arms again, suddenly questioning how someone as small as Karol managed this kind of work.
"I'm starved," the man said, rubbing his hands together as Yuri set the food on the table.
To his dismay, the other orders weren't as small as the first ones had been. Yuri was starting to wonder if the people in Dahngrest just had insanely large appetites to go with their short tempers—he hadn't been yelled at so many times in his life.
Some of these people make Flynn's lectures look like nothing, he thought as he dropped sixteen orders of the Don's Special in front of an angry ten-year-old boy. Yuri looked cautiously toward the front door. You know, it would be just my luck if Flynn and those knights of his walked in right now-
"Waiter, waiter!" Another call summoned him to a table in the back of the tavern.
"Having fun yet?" Rita asked, her arms crossed arrogantly over her chest as he passed the side room.
"Time of my life," he retorted effortlessly.
"I don't get it… Estelle and Judith don't have orders as big as ours have been," Karol said. "Maybe they're just lucky."
"Yeah, you forgot to mention the size of people's appetites around here," Yuri snapped. "Is everyone in Dahngrest like this?"
The boy shook his head. "I wasn't."
"They're hard workin' citizens," Raven said with a lopsided grin. "Let them have their fifteen orders of tortoise stew."
"Let them order meals this big when I'm not the one delivering it," Yuri replied. "Seriously, I don't think this is even human…"
"Hey, waiter!"
Yuri rolled his eyes. "Duty calls." He turned back to the sea of customers and squared his shoulders. It was like facing a wave of monsters, he told himself. He just had to cut them down one by one.
One by one. He groaned inwardly at that unpleasant realization.
It was going to be a very long night.