The unlikely event of Christmas.
It was the night before Christmas and all through the camp not a creature was stirring…….erm not so true. Two people where awake, one of those being chief surgeon and camp Romeo Hawkeye Pierce and the other was his fellow bunky and surgeon BJ Hunnicutt. The two where making advantage of the fact Frank Burns, major pain in there necks was on R and R. Whilst everyone else was sleeping off the vast amount of alcohol consumed at the impromptu Christmas party, Sleep was the last thing on either surgeons mind. After completing the nearest thing to callisthenics Hawkeye would ever do whilst on camp he was now wrapped up in BJs arms. BJ glanced down lovingly at his; well he wasn't sure how to define their relationship anymore. (Friend? Lover? Something else?) He pondered as he silently smoothed Hawkeye's hair back of his face. Hawkeye grinned as he took a sip of his supposed gin.
"What you thinking about?" He asked, catching the far away look in BJS eyes.
"You" BJ replied simply.
"Aha. I was just thinking about you."
A friendly silence descended between them. Long enough for it to start snowing, because after all it can't be Christmas in the land of Television or fanfic, without it snowing.
"Hey it's snowing." BJ said, stating the obvious but he was excited about the snow.
"So it is. I love snow, it's so magical, snow Christmassy."
BJ chose to ignore the pun. "As are stockings. I used to hang mine up by the fireplace as a kid."
"Me to." Hawkeye agreed. A glance at each other, before they dove to their respective footlockers looking for a clean and hole free sock. BJ having found a pair, (None army issue at that!) he realised there was no open fire to hang them by. Hawkeye having come up with some of his own noticed the predicament.
"Well we have no open fire but we do have a heater." He declared and with that, the two proceeded to suspend them over the fire, with some help from a rope and some clamps. This achieved and the alcohol catching up with them, they collapsed into separate bunks and fell asleep.
Just because the human inhabitants were sleeping does not mean all was quiet in the swamp.
"Alright troops, there asleep, lets get to it." A squeaky voice announced. With that a troop of elves braving the snow marched in, carrying gifts to stuff in the suspended socks. By the power of magic and artistic licence, the elves somehow managed to cram the socks, which somehow managed to enlarge themselves into the size of rucksacks, full of presents and edible food. This achieved the elves silently tucked the two sleeping surgeons securely in before trooping of to Margaret's tent.
When the two Swamp rats woke up the next morning, complete with none army issue hangovers, they were surprised to see there humble socks filled to capacity with presents. BJ was the first to discover this, and having confirmed he was not still asleep, woke Hawkeye up.
"Did you do this?" He playfully demanded to know.
"No."
"Well someone must have."
"Pass." Hawkeye mumbled, just because it was Christmas morning did not make it easier for him to wake up. BJ, having to his delight found chocolate source in Hawkeye's sock, knew just how to wake him up.
Now whilst we leave the two to give each other their Christmas gifts, all that remain is for me to say Merry Christmas to all, and to all goodnight.