I Forgive You, a doctor who fanfic

I Forgive You

The day that eight year old Koschei looked into the Untempered Schim changed his life; that was the day that he lost all innocence and became the Master. That was the day that Death took him under her wing, and made him her companion. When she filled his mind with the sound of drums. Over the years he tried his best to ignore it, but with time it consumed him, warped his mind, twisted and destroyed his soul, until the place his hearts should be was only a black never ending pit of darkness.

There was nothing left of that young boy that saw beauty in the Universe, all of his childhood wonders and dreams ripped from him.

Entering the Academy he met a lonely boy whose cousins had nicknamed him Snail. He never told Koschei his name, he didn't want people to know. He kept to himself, acted like he was invisible. All he wanted to do was become a Doctor, and keep to himself. However, there was something about 'Snail' that instantly grabbed Koschei's attention; there was something different about him.

It took time, but not as much as he thought it would to befriend 'Snail'. At the Academy 'Snail' became known as Theta Sigma; however he didn't like this name, and insisted that people call him Doctor. Of course, nobody did.

Thankfully for them, they shared a room and so their friendship became stronger. On their first night at the Academy, Theta had a nightmare of Grandfather Paradox, an old legend about a shadowy half living youth with only one arm, who travelled back in time and killed his own grandfather with a knife. Legend says he continues to exist somewhere in the cosmos to use and destroy Gallifreyans who violate the Laws of Time. That night neither of them slept, Theta to scared to go back to sleep, and Koschei stayed up all night to sooth him, comforting the other boy and letting him know that nothing was going to harm him.

Growing up at the Academy there were ten outcasts; Rallon, Drax, Mortimus, Magnus, Ushas, Jelpax, Vansell, Millennia, Koschei and Theta, they were known as the Deca. Outside of classes, together they'd have fun playing hide and seek in the Communications Tower and riding Vortisaurs. In classes they'd do all sorts of things to mess with each others work, such as building Time Flow Analogues to mess up each other's time experiments. One time Koschei, Theta and their friends put their teacher in a time loop so that he taught the same lesson for an entire day.

The biggest school bully at the Academy was Anzor - the spoiled son of a Councillor - who dominated the lives of all the students. There was only ever one person who stood up to him, Cheevah, who refused to be intimidated by him. He confronted Anzor, and the bully then sealed him in a block of crystal and dropped him from a great height above the school yard. Nobody stood up to him again, and when he forced Theta to do his navigational homework, Theta did.

Anzor however weren't Koschei, nor Theta's biggest worry though; it was another bully, Torvic. He would always single the two out, tormenting them and bullying them, they were terrified of him; usually one of them would stand paralyzed with fear while the other was being tormented. Wanting to help their friend, but to scared to speak up.

Often, Koschei and Theta would skip class together; go running threw the fields and forests until they reached the river Lethe where they would play and mess around for the rest of the day. When night rolled around they'd lay together, looking up at the stars and talking about all of the adventures they were going to have, being able to leave Gallifrey society and wonder threw the Universe. Once while skipping classes they found a dead flutterwing that has been shot by a Shobogans, seeing the uncalled for death Theta felt grief for the small insect; he stabbed his own hand with the arrow and felt pain for the first time. Later on that day, just for fun, Koschei captured a queen scissor bug and let an entire swarm of them die looking for their queen.

One day, Theta told Koschei about a one-eyed hermit who goes by the name of Monk; he lives half way up Mount Lung Theta had told him. From the way Theta spoke of the Time Lord, Koschei new that he meant a great deal to the other boy, and that Theta really looked up to him. Theta spoke about Monk in a way that clearly stated that that some of the best times of his short life was with the Time Lord, and so, Koschei agreed to meet him. That summer, when they had some time off at the Academy, Theta took him up Mount Lung. Despite being slightly deranged, Koschei took an immediate liking to the hermit. Monk took them hiking in the mountain, and they had to cross a flooded river to reach the Time Lord's gardens. At night Monk would tell them ghost stories about the Great Vampires and the Fendahl, Omega, and Salyavin. Although Salyavin and Omega became the two boy's heroes, they loved hearing about the Vampires the best. Monk told them about legends of ships in warp ellipses that travelled throughout infinity. Unlike the stories they heard from the teachers at the Academy, which were full of hard data, Monk would tell them tales full of mystery. He'd also tell them horror stories of Gallifreyans forced into runaway regeneration chains in alien environments. They would be turned into horrid monsters, which would be killed, walled up in their own TARDISes or hidden away by their cousins. Although terrified by these tales, Koschei and Theta would beg and plead for more, loving every second of Monk's stories.

Later on in the year, Koschei and Theta were once again skipping class down by the river, only this time, unknown to them Torvic – the bully who made their lives hell – followed them. As they were playing by the river Lethe, Torvic came and shoved Koschei's head under the water. Filled with anger and fury at the constant bullying, Theta took a rock and crushed Torvic's skull, killing him. Realising what he had done, Theta had fallen to his knees, staring in numb shock at the body. He tried to run, back to the Academy, to tell someone what had happened, but Koschei had grabbed a hold of him. Koschei was quick to realise that if anyone found out what had happened, they'd never be able to become Time Lords, and so never be able to escape Gallifrey. He quickly began to calm Theta down, and together they burnt Torvic's body and swore never to speak of the incident again. That night when Theta woke up screaming from a nightmare, Koschei wasn't there to comfort him.

- - -

"No, no, no!" The Master yelled as the Doctor came closer, floating so gracefully threw the air, surrounded by a blue glow, pure power, like a God.

Never before had the Master been so terrified, he new what the Doctor was going to say, the three words he never wanted to hear. Eyes wide like a scared, caged best, the Master almost fell down the steps as he moved to get away from the other Time Lord, he backed away until his back hit the wall. He was trapped, nowhere to run to, tears began running down his face as he curled into himself defensively, as though it'd drive the Doctor away. The other Time Lord touched to the ground, and wrapped his arms around him. The Master was sobbing now, he couldn't hear those words!

"I forgive you."

The words were whispered softly, but the Master heard them as though the Doctor had screamed them as loud as he could in his ear. With a gasp, the Master's head shot up. I forgive you. Those three words rang in his ears over and over again. No! The Doctor couldn't forgive him! Nobody could! To forgive someone, they had to have done something. It made everything real, all of the death and destruction he had caused, the pain he had put so many threw, those words made it all real, and it destroyed the Master inside. His thoughts raced back to the time he looked into the Untempered Schim, when he very first heard the drums. The drums had taken over his life. He had to kill and destroy, he had to rage war on other's. The drums controlled him, only occasionally would the Master remember this, and when he did, it scared him more than anything in the Universe ever had or ever will. He had slipped into insanity, and it was better to let the drums drive him than face the fact that he wasn't in control.

For so many years that had sheltered the Master, and now, with just three little words the Doctor had ripped it from him. Made it all real. The Master was a monster only because he was a coward, to afraid to face the drums.

Fury over took him, he had never learnt grief or sorrow, and so his only outlet was anger. He transported himself and the Doctor far away, where he could destroy the Earth, while he and the Doctor stood on it, everything burning around them. They'd die together, on a planet the Doctor so loved. But… he couldn't. Once again he coward to the drums, they would never let him die, not until he'd destroyed the entire Universe. He handed the Black Hole Converter over to the Doctor, and let him transport them back.

"The drumming Doctor, the constant drumming. The call to war. Listen, listen, right now, do you hear it?"

"It's only you."

"Good."

He didn't want the Doctor to hear the drums. He'd never whish such insanity upon his one time friend. A friendship which he destroyed. After all, he new insanity was the Doctor's greatest fear.

He didn't hear it, but he felt the bullet hit him, twisting and turning its way threw his flesh, digging deep inside him. With a look of shocked surprise he fell, but the Doctor was there to catch him, cradling him in his arms.

The Doctor began to beg and plead with him to regenerate, and the drums in his head drew quicker and louder. But… there was something different this time. I forgive you. Everything was real… but he was forgiven for it. The Master realised something with a start. "I win." He had finally beaten the drums. Maybe in death he'd be at peace. "Will it stop, Doctor? The drumming, will it stop?" Inside his head the drums got louder and louder, until it was deafening, and the Master wanted to scream, the pain in his head! It took over the pain of the bullet. All around him, consuming every part of his being was the drums! He was back looking into the Untempered Schim. And then… they were gone. For just a split second his mind was finally silent, after almost a thousand years, he was at peace. With the new feeling, something he couldn't remember ever having, he closed his eyes and died in Theta's arms.