Chapter one

Damon pov

I can't believe I was this foolish, this stupid to even think she loved me. Yeah, I know I sound pathetic right now and maybe I am, letting her continuously jerk me around and lead me on. She danced with him tonight, and yes, her humanity is off but after everything hat we've been through these couple months a person would think that she would be done trying to use Stefan to hurt me I guess I was wrong. I need a fucking drink and maybe a sorority girl, just something and I need to get out this suit. Scrubbing a hand down my face I hop into my Camaro and drive away from this wretched prom.

A shower and two bottles of whisky later I'm slumped on my bed, a nice high settling in around me. The alcohol helps numb my thoughts and I hate that it's come to this that I've come to this the Damon Salvatore laying in bed moping about a teenage girl of all people.

Rolling on my back I stare up at my ceiling allowing my thoughts to drift to happier moments in that I have experienced in this very bed, her long silky brown hair fanned all over me as she trailed kisses down my stomach. My dick lurches at the memory and I groan, I have to get out of this town.

Morning came sooner than I would have liked, the rays of sunlight penetrated my eyelids like a natural alarm clock, that sounds peaceful but it's not when you feel like your head is being split into two pieces with a mallet. Note to self, never drink that again. I didn't even know what type of whiskey that was, I had just pulled it out from a cabinet which now that I think about it wasn't the smartest idea.

sitting up I immediately fall back down onto the pillows. Damn I can't even walk I've never experienced a hangover like this. My eyes flutter shut as my head sinks deeper into the pillows, this would be nice…to just fall asleep and never wake up, no more pain, heartbreak or inadequacy, ugh I sound like Stefan, and if there's one thing I won't no can't do is be like him, no matter what.

"Damon?" my brother's voice sounds out, speak of the devil. I know he can probably hear me breathing through my door and knows that I'm here, but I don't really care now I don't feel like looking at his face while pretending that everything's fine and that my life isn't slipping through the cracks of humanity. Also, it's not like I can walk to the door to open it anyway, so plan pretend I'm sleeping it is.

Soon enough the sound of his boots gets quieter as he walks back over to his wing of the house. Wow I forgot how calming throwing a pity party for yourself can feel, maybe that's why Stefan broods so much.

30 minutes pass by before I'm brave enough to test out my legs again and bingo, they're up and running. I almost cringe at my reflection in the mirror, for the first time in forever I look how I feel. Dark circles, pasty skin and spiky disarrayed hair greet me as I stare into the mirror.

Scrubbing a hand down my face I head to my dresser to put on my best button-down shirt and jeans. I'm gonna fix my hair today, just because my life is falling apparent doesn't mean I have to look like it ugh I need it cut my bangs are so long they're hanging in my eyes.

Whatever that can wait. My ears prickle as I hear Elena's voice downstairs no no no Salvatore you're not going to go down that road again if Elena wants Stefan she can have him I'm not going to waste a second more of my life pining after her I deserve better, after a century and a half of always being second I need to be first for once and the sad reality is that wherever or whoever I get it from its definitely not going to be her.

I have a feeling that I can't be completely sober for what's waiting for me downstairs, so I grab a little liquid courage and ruffle my hair a little, so it doesn't look like I tried too hard. I make a silent promise to myself as I head downstairs no matter what she does don't give in.