Pop Tarts
It was 2:30 in the morning and it looked like it was going to be just another average night in the Avenger's tower.
The tower was currently in its usual state of quiet. On any normal night, Steve would undoubtedly be in the lower levels of the tower, working out in the gym like he did throughout most days. He did most of his working out during the night while everyone was asleep since he hardly ever slept himself and had no one to talk to. Natasha and Clint would still be asleep since it was so late at night. Tony would either be in his lab, working on another experiment or passed out on a lab table surrounded by his equipment, or perhaps, that night, he was actually able to drag himself away from his lab at some point during the night and would still be asleep in his room on one of the highest floors. Thor was currently staying in the tower, since he didn't have any immediate business in Asgard, and he was probably asleep in his room as well. His bedroom was the only used bedroom on his floor so no one had to deal with his loud and constant snoring. And usually this late at night, Bruce would also be sound asleep in his reserved room in the tower, sleeping comfortably in his warm bed for a few more hours.
But maybe tonight wasn't an average night after all.
Bruce had woken up early this Saturday morning around 2:30, for no reason other than his body was telling him to wake up, and he decided to wander to the kitchen to make himself some coffee since he wasn't going to go back to sleep anytime soon.
Bruce was walking through empty and quiet hallways and taking a short ride on the elevator, humming to himself contently. He simply assumed everyone else was where they were supposed to be, so he planned to grab a cup of coffee to take back to his room and watch some TV before he fell back asleep. With this plan in mind, he continued his walk through the halls to the kitchen, lost in his own thoughts. But as he approached the kitchen he began to hear murmured voices and the occasional shuffling of feet. Apparently Bruce wasn't the only one to have woken up early this morning.
Bruce slowly crept closer to the extra-large kitchen and stuck his head in the doorway. Knowing the people staying in the building as well as Bruce did, anyone breaking the cycle of their individual routines could only spell trouble. The question was: Of what kind?
When Bruce looked into the kitchen he was greeted by the backs of Clint and Tony. They each had an individual black bag set up on the large island in the middle of the kitchen behind them and they were both currently reaching up into the higher shelves of a few kitchen cabinets. They were talking in quiet tones and would occasionally break out into fits of what could only be described as giggles. The bags were already half full and every few seconds Tony and Clint would pull down two more small boxes and place them into the bags on the counter behind them before reaching back for more.
Bruce knew exactly what the two were up to once he registered what cabinets they were digging in. The two clowns were currently looking through Thor's cabinets and pulling out his boxes of pop tarts that he kept on the highest shelves. Pop tarts were easily Thor's favorite Earth food, and he kept boxes of them stocked in the tower that no one was allowed to touch (everyone in the tower had their personal things), and they were probably planning on hiding the boxes somewhere in the tower.
Bruce walked into the kitchen with a small smile on his face, stomping his feet slightly to make himself known. Clint and Tony threw themselves hard against the counter, turning to face the door at the same moment with identical looks of panic on their faces. Bruce gave them a smile as a way of greeting and, upon closer inspection of the two, he realized the two were drunk.
Once Tony realized it was Bruce that had caught them in the middle of their scavenging, he let out a sigh of relief.
"Bruce, you scared the hell out of us man, we thought you were Thor," Tony remarked as he turned to face Clint and the two began laughing again before turning to continue filling the bags.
Bruce walked further into the kitchen, making his way over to the coffee maker. "What are you two idiots doing," he asked with a thoughtful smile, though he knew the answer already.
"First of all, its Tony's idea," Clint began.
"It may be my idea, but I blame you completely. You are the one who suggested we have a few drinks after everyone turned in for the night, which then turned into a drinking contest-also your idea- and you are the one that agreed to my little plan," Tony explained for Bruce and made his case, while also blaming Clint in the same breath.
"Yes I did, because it's a great idea and Thor and Steve are going to be so pissed after they wake up," Clint responded, giggling.
"Don't get Steve involved. You'll just make the consequences worse for yourselves if you do. What does he have to do with this anyway," Bruce asked, gesturing towards the bags of soon to be stolen breakfast sweets.
"Oh, we're planting the bags in his room," Clint answered, still grinning. Then he finished clearing his side of the cabinets and zipped his bag closed. He then turned to lean against the island to wait for Tony to finish his side of the cabinets.
"This is such a bad idea," Bruce tried to reason with the two drunks in front of him. "Don't you remember what happened when you tried to prank Natasha? They will kill you both once they finish fighting each other and realize it was you two who stole all these."
"Maybe, but it'll be worth it," Clint replied. "Steve can get in a little trouble with us and maybe we can see him get ruffed up a bit too before they realize it was us."
"Yeah, besides, we survived Natasha's pay back, they won't do anything worse than she did," Tony threw in for reassurance.
"Fine, but don't say I didn't warn you. Just make sure to leave me out of this, ok?"
"Fine, as long as you act like you didn't see anything," Tony agreed.
"Don't go rating us out, ok Banner?" Clint asked.
"Consider this forgotten. I didn't see anything."
XXXXXXXX
(Seven hours later…)
"Bruce, have you been through my cabinets this morning," Thor asked politely.
It was now 9:30 in the morning. Natasha had woken up and gone down to the gym to workout with Steve about an hour earlier. Bruce had woken up for a second time that day around 8:00 and was now sitting comfortable on a large couch with a book propped open in his lap in the main living room. Thor had just recently woken up and gone to the kitchen for breakfast. He was greeted by empty shelves and now he stood behind the couch Bruce was currently reading on as he waited for his answer.
Thor's voice was a little loud for a polite conversation on a Saturday morning, but Bruce answer back just as politely. "No, I haven't Thor. Why do you ask?" Bruce had turned his head to answer Thor's question, but immediately had to face his book again to hide his smile.
"My shelf of breakfast pastries is empty and I'm sure it was full just yesterday morning. Have you seen anyone looking through my shelves of recent?"
"No, I'm sorry Thor, I haven't. Maybe you should go ask around to the others, although I think everyone is occupied this morning. If nothing else, you could always go and check through everyone's rooms to see if you find any of the missing boxes." Bruce was wearing a grin on his face a mile wide and fighting back the urge to double over laughing. He had told Tony and Clint that he wouldn't get involved, but he couldn't help but push Thor along a bit. After all, the sooner it happened, the sooner it would all be over. He only hoped he hadn't been too obvious with giving Thor the hint to go check through everyone's rooms, though, knowing Thor, he probably wouldn't think twice about the odd suggestion.
"Well if everyone is currently busy it would be best not to bother them. But do you think they would mind if I checked through their rooms?"
'Of course Thor would be smart enough to ask permission first,' Bruce thought to himself. He thought about his answer quickly before replying with, "As long as you don't go through Natasha's room, I mean why would she want them anyway, I don't think anyone else would really mind. Just check through everyone else's if you want to. Your right Thor, it would probably be better than hunting everyone done and disrupting them from what they are currently doing."
Thor nodded in understanding and agreement behind Bruce, though Bruce didn't notice since he was still hiding his face, and he quickly walked out of the room to go look for his pop tarts in other rooms of the tower. Once Bruce was sure Thor was out of hearing range he burst out laughing.
XXXX
An hour later Bruce was still in the same position on the couch. His tilted his neck to the left to relieve the tension and continued reading. Steve and Natasha both retired to their rooms for showers and a few minutes alone to rest before wandering into the kitchen to find lunch and Clint and Tony hadn't been seen by anyone all day, not even by Bruce.
Thor was still on his hunt for his missing breakfast food and was able to reach Steve's room before Steve was. Thor walked in and did a quick scan of the room. His eyes almost immediately landed on two large black bags that were sitting on the floor and they were just sticking out of Steve's closet. He walked over to the bags to assess what they held and his eyes narrowed slightly at their contents.
XXXX
Another hour later and Bruce was sitting at the kitchen table having lunch with Natasha. After they finished their food and their light conversation ended, Natasha was the first to leave the kitchen. Bruce decided to go back to the living room to continue reading his book, but before he had the chance to get up from the table he was cornered by Steve and Thor.
"Bruce, do you know why there were bags of Thor's pop tarts sitting in my closet this morning?" Steve questioned with a stern look on his face.
Bruce looked up and met Steve's eyes while managing to keep a straight face. He felt like a child getting caught by his parents and he was now being scolded. But he was able to maintain eye contact and he didn't dare back down.
He only answered, "No, I don't Steve, why do you ask?"
"Because Thor has been looking for his missing pop tarts all morning and he found them in my closet carefully placed in bags. After our…discussion, he also said that you gave him the idea to look for them in everyone else's rooms instead of bothering us with asking if we knew where they were. Now I'll ask again: Do you know why Thor's pop tarts were in my room?"
Steve never wavered and he kept the same stern look on his face the entire conversation. He was completely certain of himself and he patiently waited for each answer. Thor said nothing during the conversation; he only waited for his answer, which he slowly began to realize with each passing question, that he would never get from the doctor.
Bruce knew he had been caught and it was only getting harder not to smile. But he kept his resolve and he answered with an even voice and he was also able to regulate his blinking as he did.
"No, I don't know Steve. I only suggested Thor go look in everyone's rooms because I assumed someone had taken them and I knew no one would confess if they did."
"Though that might be true, I didn't take them, yet they were placed in my room. Do you know how they got there?" Steve pushed again.
"No, I don't Steve. Why don't you go ask around the tower?" Bruce suggested, again hoping he wasn't being too obvious, but it was the only reply he could give. He didn't really want to give up Tony and Clint, but under no circumstances would he take the blame for this.
Thankfully Thor came to his rescue. "Steve, Bruce doesn't know anything he was just trying to help me earlier. He is right, let us go and ask everyone else."
"I suppose. I'm pretty sure it was Tony or Clint who stole them anyway," Steve mused, mostly to himself.
The three exited the kitchen. Steve and Thor left with the intention of finding either Clint or Tony or both and giving them a talking to. Bruce on the other hand returned to his place on the couch and pulled out his phone.
Steve and Thor are looking for you
A simple text sent to both men's phones as a warning. Bruce hadn't wanted to get involved; though he was now sure that he wouldn't get in trouble, and he was already pretty involved. So he decided to at least give the two trouble makers a head start.
XXX
A moment later and the texts were received. They were received by Tony and Clint who were currently sitting across from each other in the air vents above the kitchen. They each pulled out their phones in the same moment and held them screen facing up, side by side out in front of themselves as they read the identical messages.
Steve and Thor are looking for you
"Told you he would warn us," Tony spoke aloud with a smile breaking out on his face.
Since Bruce last saw the two trouble makers they had kept themselves busy all day with their prank. They had first snuck into Steve's rooms to plant the bags and then waited for Thor to wake and find the boxes missing. They then followed him around all morning, thankful and impressed that Bruce was able to help Thor along a little in his search, and they listened into the argument between him and Steve, barely containing their laughter while sitting above them in the vents.
They then followed both of them to the kitchen and listened to Steve interrogate Bruce and they were again impressed that he was able to turn the conversation around and get himself out of trouble, thankful that he didn't rat them right out. He didn't have to anyway. The two jokers knew Steve already knew it had been one or both of the tower's pranksters and he only interrogated Bruce to find out where Tony and Clint where hiding.
After they received the warning texts from Bruce, Tony used his phone to communicate with JARVIS and have him keep an eye on Steve and Thor while Tony and Clint split up to carry out phase two of their plan. Still using the vents to move around and having JARVIS as a look out, they kept their phones in their hands to communicate with each other and just half an hour later the two met back in the middle. They were now sitting in the air vents built over the main living room. They sat in silence, talking through text messages. The alcohol effect had long burned out and they were becoming tired, but the prank was still fresh on their minds after being renewed by phase two. They were now waiting for their new update on the prank to be noticed.
XXXX
"-Tony-" "-Stark-" "-Clint-" "-Barton-"
Two hours later, and names were being repeated multiple times and in unison throughout several different floors of the tower where Clint and Tony could normally be found on any other day. Of course today, they were nowhere to be seen, which was best for their own safety.
Bruce was on the last chapter of his book when he was interrupted mid-sentence by both Steve and Thor yelling and running through the floor he had been on all day, which included the kitchen, main dining room, and main living room, checking for the two clowns. Bruce figured this meant they had done something new and, whatever it was, it was worse than the last prank.
"Banner," Steve yelled when he reached the couch Bruce was rooted to, "Where are Tony and Clint?"
Bruce was actually able to answer completely honestly for the first time that day when he answered the question with, "I don't know Steve, why, what did they do?"
"They destroyed our rooms," Thor answered. He was seething as well.
"And my shield is missing. If they're smart they left the country. Do you know where those two idiots are?" Steve all but yelled again.
"No, I don't, I haven't seen or talked to them since yesterday," This was mostly true.
Refusing to argue, the two left the room and entered the elevator determined to hunt down the two pranksters.
When the doors to the elevator closed Bruce began laughing and musing to himself. That's when he received a text from Tony.
Look up
Bruce did as the text instructed and saw that he was sitting directly under a medium sized air vent. When he looked up the grate was picked up and moved to the side. He was then greeted by the faces of Clint and Tony looking down at him. They were grinning wide and laughing quietly to themselves and each offered a 'Hey Bruce' in greeting.
Bruce could do nothing, but smile back up at them. He offered a quiet 'Hey guys' and then joined in on their laughing for a short moment before, "So that's how you guys have been getting around and avoiding them all day. I heard you guys also went and wrecked their rooms."
"I think that was putting it mild, actually," Clint responded, looking quite pleased with himself.
"We hid Steve's shield in my lab. It'll take them days to find it," Tony added, still laughing his head off.
"Well you guys heard Steve; he's going to kill you when he finds you, and Thor was fuming. I suggest you either take Steve's advice and leave the country or stay up there for the next couple of days," Bruce warned with a smile.
"Don't worry, we plan to," The two trouble makers said in unison, identical smiles on their faces, "Can you pass us up some food from the kitchen?"
The End
Author's Notes: Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed it. Remember to leave a review. I'd love to know your thoughts on my story.
