"Almost Kisses"

…it's almost enough to make Sakura love him. 9/8/05

I desperately need a beta reader. Any volunteers?

:I:

Sakura thinks that maybe she should kiss Lee. This is their twelfth date-not-really, and he's unusually quiet and expectant as he sits next to her on the park bench. He's looking at her in that way, and the mood is perfect and the stars are glowing and there's someone playing sweet violin music down the road.

She knows he won't kiss her unless she initiates it, wouldn't dare to cross the threshold unless she told him she wanted it, but she can see the raw longing in his eyes.

She imagines a life with Lee. She would be happy. There would be lots of kids and a big house and a loving husband. He would dote on her and call her beautiful and confide in her. He would never leave and wouldn't even think of abandoning her.

…it's almost enough to make Sakura love him.

He's looking at her now, leaning in just slightly, and she almost brings her lips to his but they're sitting on a park bench and she remembers a night like this and the taste of the tears that ran down her face and crying and crying and crying don't go don't go don't go. And she moves just slightly and pecks him on the cheek, chaste and friendly, before getting up and waving goodbye.

:II:

He has dark hair and angry eyes and a sad heart. Sakura aches to help him and doesn't mind when he sometimes holds her hand. She tries to help him get over his past- the bulk of the problem has been ripped away by Naruto, and now she helps him keep healing.

She loves running her fingers through Neji's hair. It is dark and smooth and she smiles when she touches it and Neji never ruins the moment by speaking. He doesn't talk much, and he's fairly mysterious. He's the kind of boy girls swoon over (cue Tenten, who is absolutely furious right now, courtesy of Sakura) and would do anything for.

Most importantly, he's opening up his heart to her. These weekly sessions- she came to him first, but he feels much better for her company and gentle words. She thinks she could have Neji if she wanted.

He has turned his face around, which he didn't have to since he can see out the back of his head. They are so close she can feel his warm breath mingling with hers in the air. All she has to do is lean forward.

She imagines a life with Neji. He is everything she wants in a boy. He is also caring and not afraid to show emotion and he is right here in front of her. (Plus, he's hot.)

…it's almost enough to make Sakura love him.

She leans forward slightly, and looks into his eyes. They are the most beautiful, purest, clearest white she's ever seen. It's the wrong color, and she thinks that the life of pretend might have worked just fine if not for that. She shifts, and gives him a warm hug.

:III:

Sakura's heart must have skipped ten beats when she saw Naruto in his new outfit. She couldn't take her eyes off him, and she wished Naruto would keep looking at her. He's one of the few things left that she truly believes in. Naruto she is able to take for granted- he's like the sun and the rain and the earth and the water, like the fact that Tsunade will always lose at poker and Ino will always be her rival.

Just a date, but it's another step for the two of them. However, he finally seems to understand what she'd been trying to tell him all that time, seems to understand that her heart is off-limits and he probably wouldn't ever reach it. Except she's not so sure about the last part anymore. He's special to her now- where she once would have been ashamed to be near him she flaunts his friendship proudly.

Idly, she contemplates life with Naruto. He would make an absolutely wonderful dad, she thinks. Never cold to his kids. He's loyal and affectionate and even after two and a half years, he adores her. He brought out the side of her she always had to hide, deadly Inner Sakura, and yet he still liked her.

…it's almost enough to make Sakura love him.

She turns to him, and brings her face closer. He looks surprised but doesn't move away. She is hesitating. There isn't a reason why she shouldn't kiss him, but…

…Naruto is not Sasuke. It's the only thing her mind can come up with, and she leans her head forward to rest on his shoulder and cry there. She's sorry for the tears soaking into his new jacket. She's sorry that she couldn't kiss him. She's sorry for his foolish promises and that he cares so much and that she cares so much.

The sad thing is, what she's sorry for most of all is that he isn't Sasuke.

!fin: