Author: TR4G1C.
Rating; Title; Pairing: R; Realization; Riku/Sora.
Summary: Riku's in love with Sora; Sora's been ignoring Riku for some reason unknown to him. Why is Sora so distant? What does Kairi have that Riku doesn't? Both boys need to realize that things are uneasy. Riku/Sora
Warning/Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts, Sora or Riku in any way, although the plot is mine, as well as the later, possible made up characters. I tend to ramble and change things up a bit, but stick with me. And, the R rating is for later chapters.
By the way, I edit as I go. I usually don't catch all of my errors on Microsoft Word.
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Riku's Point of View
I've known Sora since we were both little.
Our parents were friends since their youth and just-so happened to live down the street from each other, so they figured that it would be neat if their sons became great friends, like they had. We hit it off right away over the same coloring book, over the same picture actually, and since then we had always been best of friends. Through Sora's first crush on a girl when we were eight (Kairi, the new girl at school with reddish hair and an over zealous giggle that even then pissed me off to no end, though, now, I had somewhat adjusted to it), to my first failing grade at the age of eleven (though Sora told me that "a C wasn't failing, it was average"; it felt like failing to me), to Sora's older brother leaving to see the world, to my dad going out to the store one night for eggs and never coming back thanks to a massive pile-up in the parking lot—we had been through it all together.
We kept no secrets from one another and we were, in a way, each other's shrinks. Hell, I had even forced him to pay me for my "mental services", but that was only because he had been incessantly whining about how he liked Kairi. Still does, but he knew that, if he wanted me to care about his problems with her, he'd have to whip out some cash.
But, lately, Sora had become more of a riddle to me than he ever had been, before. Sure, he was a little weird when we met, and still was weird, but he just acted…stranger and stranger—especially around me. It was like he no longer trusted me or something. I couldn't recall having done anything to make him unable to trust me, but Sora had a fuse as quick as mine and sometimes snapped at the littlest of things.
Sometimes he would stare at me while we did our homework (or, I did our homework; Sora usually stared at me or out the window, but regardless I didn't trust his airy self to do our graded homework) and I would ask what he was looking at, and he would just shake me off as if I were nothing and return to gazing at whatever the hell he was concentrating on.
Not only that, but he was always worming his way out of hanging out with me after school time and time again. Something always came up and just so happened to be more important than me, his best friend.
Countless afternoons of mine were just spent on my bedroom floor, my homework spread all around me like spilled milk, but my pencil was unable to move and my mind was preventing me from thinking about anything but Sora. The stares and blank expressions that he gave and wore constantly, like a doll with a mask that was permanently painted on, and the secrets that he seemed to be keeping tucked within himself were probably the worst. Worry often overtook my mind as I dwelled on what could be troubling him to the point of leaving me out of the helping equation that, since meeting one another, I had always been a major variable of. Was he trying to woo Kairi—not that he needed to, she was already head over heels for him (though those blue eyes of his were too blind to notice that)—or was it something deeper? Were his parents fighting again about pointless things, and it was affecting him greatly? Or was it him simply just needing some time alone?
Surely he had had enough time to himself, though. This had been going on for weeks…
The amount of sleep that he never got, that showed clearly in the soft violet bags under his eyes, the shadiness of his persona and lack of interest in his person, showcased in his lack of showering and hair brushing, also really concerned me. Usually Sora was very…almost obsessive about his looks. He always took a shower at 8:30 P.M. and always made sure to pick out his clothes for the next day afterwards; not only that, but he always made sure to keep a hairbrush in his backpack in case his hair had too much static or if it was too wind-swept, or something—which he didn't carry anymore.
To see someone who's looks were always very pristine and clean, become someone who looked as if they couldn't give two shits about the way they looked was scary.
All in all, Sora was more important than my homework by a long shot. So what if I slipped up a little in a class or two? I preferred to have my best friend completely intact rather than pass my classes with top grades. Plus, what would these shitty math problems help me with later in life? What would these stupid literature books do for me? Almost nothing, I'm sure—I just try in school because my mother expects, and encourages, me to do the best, so I can get a good job later in life.
Or so I say.
"I should call him," I told myself aloud, raising my mechanical pencil to my mouth. The end parted my lips so that my teeth could clamp down on the eraser, which allowed my mind to work with a tad more flow. Not much, but a tad more. "Or should I walk to his house? If I walked to him, he'd probably just ignore me the whole time, or tell me that he had to go do something for someone, or something…"
With a grumble, I pulled myself off of the floor and dropped my pencil on top of one of my books nonchalantly before heading to my bed. I sat on it, ignoring the soft squeaks of my worn-in mattress, while I picked up my phone from its cradle. My fingers didn't allow me to press on the buttons as I went for them, though. Instead, I sat there looking stupid with the receiver placed to my ear, gentle beeping ringing into my being, with a rather blank face.
Should I call him? He might think that I'm being an over-reacting worry-wart—kind of like Kairi. I shivered softly.
I liked Sora.
I deserved Sora.
Not her; never her.
Don't get me wrong, Kairi was a nice girl and all and was ready to lay down and die for almost any of her friends, but she just…annoyed the piss out of me sometimes. She talked too much. Her voice was too high-pitched. The things that she said were really girlie (overly, sickeningly girlie) and seemed almost identical to something a seven-year-old would say. Her idea of "fun" was laying on the beach for countless hours, talking about life and how great it was, and doing hair and make-up. Did I mention she liked to play dress up, and force people to join her?
I just didn't see how she had a chance in Sora's eyes and I didn't. Sure, being a guy kind of hampered my chances with him, but so what? We got along so well and had for years. If me being a guy was the only thing standing in my way of being with him, then I'd be pissed.
I forced myself to take a deep breath as I told myself that I was going to check up on him. If not me, his best friend, then who else? Maybe I could actually get through that spiky, thick-skulled head of his and see what was bugging him. Sure of my motives now, I punched in Sora's house number and let the phone ring. I breathed out loudly as I leaned back in my bed, crossing my feet at the ankle, and waited for someone to answer.
Ring…
…Ring…
…Ring.
"Hello?"
"Hey, Sora?"
"No, this is his mother—is that you, Riku?"
"Yeah, it's me," I said back, a slight smile on my face. "Is Sora around?" Sora's mother was an amazingly kind woman. She put up with Sora and I play fighting in her living room and even cleaned up afterwards when we forgot to. Not to mention the fact that, when my father died, she and her husband came over every other day to fill that empty void in our home with laughter and remembrance.
She also was a madwoman at cooking. The way she just cooked her food—no, crafted her food—was so…just…wow. Sora didn't receive that gift, sadly. He was awful at cooking and knew it, but kept trying. Bless him for trying, but I wished he would stop. I wouldn't try anything that he cooked—concocted was a much better word—even if he did get better. He was just that bad.
"I haven't heard from you in forever! It feels like ages since you've been over at the house with Sora."
"Yeah, I'm sorry about that…"
"Anyway, I'll go get him. He's in his room." Sora's mother's idea of "getting him" was not that of walking to his room and flat-out telling him that someone was on the phone for him. Oh, no. Usually she stood at the bottom of the stairs, or wherever she happened to be, really, and screamed his name until he answered her. Not that I minded much; my mother did the same thing to me.
And that's exactly what she did.
"What?" I heard someone groggily call back. My head perked up and my smile widened as I recognized the voice. Sora!
"Telephone."
"Oh, okay."
While I waited for Sora to pick up the phone, I stared at the ceiling fan as it churned overhead. There was dust accumulated on all of the blades but one, staring down at me nastily. The clean one, though, circled pleasantly about. It was clean because, last time Sora was over (a week ago, though it felt longer without his constant presence), he threw his jacket in the air and it got stuck on that blade. When the jacket finally fell down from being circled so many times, it came down covered in dust. The memory made me smile a little more.
"Riku?" Sora yawned.
"How'd you know it was me?" I asked, sitting up a tad. His mother hadn't told him it was me, and Sora had a habit of forgetting to check the caller ID.
"The only people who ever call for me on the phone are you and Kairi, and, considering that I just got off the phone with her so she could go to a dance lesson, I doubted that she'd be calling," he returned, somewhat monotone and tired sounding.
"Oh…" I mumbled plainly and wrinkled my nose, picking at a random belt loop that wasn't covered by my t-shirt. He had been talking to her? Great, just great. That made me feel a whole lot better. Right. "What's up? Where've you been? It's like every time we make plans to do something, you have to ditch."
"I'm sorry, Riku. I've just been busy lately…" he said back, grumbling into the phone. Where was all of his enthusiasm? Was he worn out from not sleeping as much as he normally did? I made a mental note to bicker at him about that.
"With what?"
"Stuff."
"…What kind of stuff?"
"…Stuff-y stuff."
"Wow, Sora."
And then he laughed softly, causing my smile to flourish once more.
"What can I say? I've got a way with words."
"Well, what're you doing this weekend? Are we watching that science fiction marathon like we planned?"
"That's this weekend?"
"…Yeah? Don't tell me you're canceling on me again. Dammit, Sora!"
"I'm sorry, Riku! I've just…got a lot of stuff going on. It's hard to juggle it all."
"And I'm the one item you've put down, right?" I snorted softly afterwards, rolling my eyes. Couldn't he put down Kairi?
"It's not like that, Riku. I'm just busy."
"Why're you so busy though? Seriously. I only see you when we're in school, and even then you're kind of spacey and you don't want to talk to me. Have you been getting enough sleep? You look like a wreck, by the way."
"Thanks, mom."
"I'm just…you've never ignored me for this long."
"I'm not ignoring you, Riku!"
"Seems like it! Like I said, I hardly ever see you anymore."
"Do you want to spend time together that badly? I mean, if it means that much to you…I guess you can come over now? Hang out for a few hours…?"
"Really?"
"Sure. Whatever. Why not?"
"Are you going to ignore me?"
"I don't ignore you, Riku. I'm just…my schedule is full, and I…"
"Can't spare anytime for your best friend?"
"I'm sparing time now!"
"Just saying, just saying. I'll be there in a few minutes. Bye."
"Bye…"