Title: All We Have Is Time

By: Tieropasvmi

Pairing: Sephiroth/Koarin (OC)

Summary: Well, this is what happens when you don't write in forever. TT_TT; all of the jumbled ideas in your head come spilling out at the first opportunity. This snippet is from an FFVII/Mega man/X crossover titled "Final Light" .. that LT and I have been writing since forever ago. This particular scene is set in pre-game FFVII days, right before things really hit the fan with Wutai, and then the following events with Angeal and Genesis.

You can say it happens in a simpler time, but inside the walls of Shinra, things are always complicated. Especially for a good-intentioned lab assistant who has his eyes set on someone who might be too much for him to handle.

Either way, please enjoy, and if you have time, let me know what you think. Thanks. ^^;

All We Have Is Time

-by Tieropasvmi

The beginnings of sunlight filtered in from the small windows facing east on each side of the bed. The shades did their job of filtering most of it, but the bottoms of them were drawn up an inch or two, which poured light into the darkened room and lit up the far wall. This was around the time Sephiroth was usually out of bed and in the shower, but today, his schedule was lean in the morning, and did not require him to be there any time before ten (a truly rare occurrence).

This gave him plenty of time from the moment he opened his eyes to lay still in bed and reflect on the person lying next to him, who was still, in all practical terms, dead to the world.

Sephiroth was turned slightly, peering over one shoulder at the blonde who lay asleep next to him. His gaze wandered over his bare shoulder and blonde hair that fell over his eyes. One pillow was scrunched up under his head with one arm tucked under it; the other arm was stretched out awkwardly, almost reaching toward him, lending a thought to how hard he must be sleeping.

And it was no wonder, with how the night went.

Shinra's company parties were never anything to get excited about, so it was no surprise that Sephiroth had found himself in the corner of the room at his own table, seemingly approachable but internally hoping otherwise. He really had not cared to mingle with the rest of the crowd of Shinra employees, but policy dictated that he should at least be part of the festivities. Angeal and Genesis were also employed under the same policies, but they had conceded to their social responsibilities and found themselves more in the center of the mingling than Sephiroth. He supposed everyone felt those two more approachable than himself -- even though he was sure they wanted to, something kept them at bay from coming up to him.

Except -- for better or worse -- one blonde lab employee, who obviously did not get the memo.

Koarin had approached him at the party and began talking to him -- shyly at first, but after a while, it was as if no one else was there. It was getting late, and the scene had switched from 'social event' to 'late night party', as it always did after the regulars had filtered out, with the patrons becoming less and less concerned with how silly they appeared, both in conversation and occupying the dance floor -- so the two of them inevitably ended up leaving together, finding themselves back at Sephiroth's own apartment.

It went fine at first. Too fine, too comfortable. The two of them... well...

Sephiroth considered that something he had done -- or maybe, just his presence in general -- had made Koarin a little nervous, causing him to reach for the glass of wine Sephiroth had offered a little too often. The tension built quick after that. After working together for a year and a half on seperate intervals, some underlying desires became apparent in the nuances of their speech. Though their words and exchanges may have been, their attraction was not subtle.

Sephiroth remembered having him against the front door after he went to leave, one wrist held tightly above the blonde's head, and somehow he got pulled against him. Their bodies rested against each other, and they fell into a kiss that shocked and aroused both of them. Making their way to the couch, he noticed Koarin's cheeks were flushed as he looked him over. The blonde pulled away from the kiss slowly, stroking Sephiroth's face. Even though the initiative was there, Sephiroth could see in his eyes that pushing it any further would be a careless decision.

He began to notice Koarin not seeming himself, more than a little buzzed and appearing to be dizzy. He got him a glass of water and gently led him to the bedroom. The willpower it took not to keep up his advances -- Shiva knows the boy did not immediately stop his own -- startled even him, but he reserved his actions and settled down in bed with the blonde curled against his body, warm breath on his ear. Koarin's wandering hands across his shoulders and chest eventually stilled and he was no longer conscious, breathing softly with his lips against Sephiroth's neck. Sephiroth put his chin on top of the boy's head and let his breathing help put him to sleep after a long while of lying there.

...

...And that brought them to now, where Sephiroth peered at him, his mind filtering through the events of last night and wondering what the mindset of the boy would be when he awoke. He had drifted away from him in his sleep, neither of their bodies touching in even the slightest of ways.

For some reason, the distance was painful. He had someone here, in his bed, and he did not feel at all a part of him or close to him, or even that he had the right to.

Koarin lay fast asleep. The highlights of his hair shone gold in the dim light, making his skin tone seem more tan than usual. The sun had risen just a bit more, drawing obvious bars of light and dark across the far wall due to thrown shadows.

For just a moment, Sephiroth wanted badly to slide over and wrap Koarin up in an embrace and have him wake that way. It was an odd urge, something he couldn't quite bring himself to do, but this apartment had been lonely enough the past few weeks and himself for much longer. Genesis had long since become awkward and distant in their meetings, and their intimacy was fleeting at best. No one else had seen the inside of his bedroom since ... well, ever, really.

Koarin was a step above Genesis, though. Sephiroth felt that Koarin's intentions were far purer. He did not seem to be out to play any sort of head-games or to find means to his own ends.

In many way, this boy weighed on Sephiroth much more heavily. But why?

He was a self-proclaimed loner, had been since he was young -- and yet with someone so inviting so close, someone who most definitely wanted him in return...

Something indefinite stopped him from bridging that distance. He juggled the thought for a long moment before analysing it away, and then his wasted time finally made the decision for him.

Koarin's eyes cracked open, meeting Sephiroth's own deep green gaze over his pale shoulder. The two lay there for a long silent moment, green and blue eyes locked, while Sephiroth watched everything compute from behind Koarin's stare.

Finally, Sephiroth shifted so that his face was visible, moving more on his side toward Koarin. He settled in and laid quietly a moment before offering a quiet, non-rushed 'good morning'.

Outwardly, Koarin blinked a few times, steadying his gaze -- but inwardly, Sephiroth could tell he was wincing.

"Morning," the blonde responded weakly, rubbing his eyes while moving very slowly. He, too, settled in again, but this time his eyes did not meet the other man's, rather, they fell to the side, in a half-lidded, defeated sort of way.

After several moments of silence, Sephiroth gradually sat up in bed and combed his fingers through his hair. Koarin, looking on at him, saw the soft silver locks fall all around Sephiroth, over his face and down his pale figure. Koarin closed his eyes hard, internally kicking himself.

He glanced over again as he felt Sephiroth's weight rise from the bed and Koarin watched as he moved across the room and hesitated at the doorway. Koarin looked up and down his visage, naked except for a pair of black boxers he had worn to bed. In the morning light, he was more than taken aback by the view. That just made it that much more difficult.

"I'm going to make some coffee... feel free to use the shower. I'm sure you'll feel better for it."

After Sephiroth's escape into the other room, Koarin mustered the strength to right himself in bed, one hand to his forehead to still an ever-present pounding that reminded him just how overboard he had went last night. His mind was reeling, and his cheeks were definitely pink.

Did we....? ...No. I'm such an idiot. I've totally blown this one. Koarin scowled at himself and the way he was feeling. Not like it's a surprise. I was stupid to think...

Koarin sighed deeply and swung his legs over the bed. He paused, looking over his shoulder at the black pillows and blankets disheveled where the two of them had lain not moments before. He wished more than anything he could replay the events of last night, reverse it all and wake up in this bed the way he had intended.

But... he was just too much of a screw-up for that. After this, he'd never even give him the time of day. How could he ever handle someone like him?

With dismal, cloudy thoughts, Koarin made his way into the shower. Towels were already on the rack, waiting. The rest of the bathroom was kept in tip-top shape, as if it was a hotel that room service had just finished prepping for the next unnamed occupant. Nothing personal laid about, save for some body wash and a bottle of shampoo and conditioner on the inside ledge of the shower. Even the walls were painted a dull blueish-gray that lent toward as little personability as possible.

He paused, leaning on the counter to look in the mirror. His eyes were hazy and red at the corners, definitely showing his tendencies from last night. His shirt, he had noticed, lay right outside the bathroom door, as if it was thrown. No idea on that one.

His dress pants were wrinkled from being used as pajamas all night. His blazer... he remembered parking that at the front door at Sephiroth's request. His tie, socks, and shoes were all MIA. Probably in the living room, somewhere. A nice game of treasure hunt would be in order to reassemble his wardrobe, just what he was looking forward to this fine morning while he tried to be as low-key as possible.

He sighed, giving himself a long, worn out stare in the mirror.

Why did I drink so much?... He berated himself. He offered me a glass of wine. I know I'd had one at the party .... no, probably two. I was trying to psyche myself up to talk to him... I really wanted to make a good impression. Koarin balled his fist and made to hit the counter, hesitating right before it made impact. He didn't want to make any noise, despite his frustration. I guess it all sneaked up on me. I feel like a damn idiot.

He fiddled with the shower knobs until he found the right temperature and stepped inside, letting the warming water hit him. His wet hair slid into his face, and he leaned an elbow on the tile wall, closing his eyes for a moment to let the water hit him.

...

Koarin finally emerged from the bathroom, towelling at his hair. He did feel quite a bit better, but that didn't stop his eyes from training on the floor as he walked out of the bedroom, shirt on but unbuttoned, barely draped over himself, with his pants still a wrinkled mess.

He glanced over to the kitchen to see Sephiroth filling a mug of coffee which he set on the edge of the counter after eyeing Koarin, intending it for him. He then turned back around and returned to tending to the kitchen.

"I didn't add anything. There's creamer or milk if you like."

"Black sounds amazing right now, actually." Sephiroth may have slightly smirked at that, he wasn't sure, as he turned his back to him a moment after. Koarin swore he blushed again -- damn it -- and took the cup in hand, holding it and taking in the smell. Seph definitely didn't mess around with his coffee - it seemed strong enough to wake up an army.

"Your shoes and tie are by the coffee table," Sephiroth mentioned idly, as if reading his mind from earlier.

"Mm," Koarin sipped the coffee after it had cooled a moment. The awkward silence set in after that, hovering stagnantly between them. Ko stood with his cup of coffee, leaning against the counter, staring down at the swirl of bubbles in the center. Sephiroth dried his hands on a hand towel, perfectly quiet.

Koarin finally broke the silence, as he felt he should.

"Listen... I'm really, very sorry about last night." There was a pause. "I understand if ... you know."

"If?" Sephiroth raised an eyebrow and looked at him. Koarin felt himself shrink under the weight of that gaze, like a child to a parent. Suddenly he felt very sympathetic to any new recruits in Sephiroth's squad, if they had to be on the other end of that look all day.

"...If," Koarin took a breath. "You don't feel like dealing with me any more. I feel pretty stupid, imposing on you like this."

"You forget," Sephiroth set down the dish towel and folded his arms, still penetrating him with those eyes. "I was the one that insisted you stay."

Okay, now he was definitely blushing. Koarin wondered if Seph even realized how his presence was crippling him. He was speechless as another moment passed. He only looked up after Sephiroth had taken a few steps toward him, lessening their distance apart to a few inches.

"While I wish things had gone a little differently,..." Sephiroth reached up to trace Koarin's jawline lightly. "I wouldn't call what you did imposing. Although you might want to work on your alcohol tolerance some. Just for a future note."

Koarin shivered at the touch. He closed his eyes, and before he knew it, his hand was over Seph's, pressing it against his own neck. Through some unknown source of courage, he leaned up and captured the SOLDIER's lips in a soft kiss.

Before disengaging and turning away, Koarin squeezed Sephiroth's hand in gratitude for a split second before going off to find his belongings.

Sephiroth watched him scurry around while taking a sip from his coffee cup. He, himself, needed to get dressed and ready to leave, but he was not in any rush.

"Taking the train?"

"More than likely," Koarin called from the other side of the coffee table, where he was wrestling with his socks and shoes. Once on, he found his blazer and tucked his tie haphazardly into the pocket, and slung the blazer over his arm. After one more check -- wallet, keys, key card for the lab -- he paused his rush and cast one more look at the kitchen.

"Or would you like a ride to work?"

Koarin shook his head slowly. "No... I have to head back to my place and grab some paperwork first. Not to mention ... change my slacks."

"Ah."

A pause.

"I'll see you at work, then." Koarin meant it to mean anything but the way it came out -- flat, weak, uninviting.

"Call me." Seph smirked slightly as Koarin made his way out the door.

Koarin paused outside the door, a little nauseous from the hangover and the exchange. He really did feel like a total moron. And -- was it his imagination, or was that a sarcastic joke Seph threw at him as he left?

Oh well -- he had a long, glorious, hung-over day at work to try to sort it all out.

And hope to God he would get even a fraction as much of a chance with him in the future, as if he even deserved it