Promise – Snow/Lightning

Series: Final Fantasy XIII

Full Summary: You hope for the best but fear for the worst. Every time. And because of that hope, that little tiny flare of hope, when the worst comes, you're not ready for it. Not even a little bit. The pain is so intense you're surprised it doesn't break you in half. Only by sharing it with someone else, can the pain possibly fade to just an ache. So promise that you'll stay with me. Promise that you won't leave me alone again. And let the pain re-grow and fester. Like salt in an infected wound. Promise me.

When Serah didn't come back, things didn't turn out like the group thought they would. Snow was the one to lock himself away, not allowing anything or anyone in; an impenetrable fortress. Lightning would have been the obvious choice for that role. But instead, Lightning was the one that wanted to contact Snow. Just wanted him to let her in. And ease her pain. Ease their pain. They were each other's last remaining link to Serah. But he wouldn't even let her in. And it was breaking Lightning.

Hope nearly had his heart split in two every time he was forced to look into his figurative older sister's eyes, so raw in their anguish and laced with so much pain…It was so heart-wrenching. So unfair. That Lightning had fought so hard not only to bring her sister back but to save the world from destruction and save an eternity's worth of lost souls, one of which was not her sister but that was the one the woman cared about saving most anyway. And she had been denied her greatest wish. Her most painful desire. Hope knew something had to be done. Something had to change.

So he went to Snow's apartment, threatening to knock down the door if the man didn't answer, which he didn't so Hope actually had to kick the door in, making quick work of the wood and turning it into what could make great kindling. He'd found Snow in a drunken stupor, mumbling incoherent nonsense under his breath, eyes glazed and listless.

Now normally, Hope was not under any circumstances vicious. He'd had his moments, yeah, like when he'd almost gone through with plan Nora, but he had started out as the pansy of the team for a reason. That kind of behavior just wasn't in his nature. But this was different. This involved Lightning. And he'd be damned if he played the part of the pansy now.

He grabbed the man by the collar of his shirt and got right up in his face, growling under his breath. And he wasn't even deterred when the man looked up at him as if he wanted Hope to just end his miserable excuse for a life. Because he knew that Snow and Lightning could help one another. That kept him going.

"What the hell do you think you're doing? You're not the only one who's suffering, you know!"

Snow just murmured more nonsense, the stench of alcohol on his breath atrociously pitiful to the younger of the two. Honestly, if he just left Snow right now and let the man continue with his binge drinking, Snow would probably kill himself due to alcohol poisoning or kidney failure, or both. Which was probably what he wanted to happen, Hope realized in the back of his mind.

Yanking the material of the man's jacket to try and get him to focus, Hope pressed on.

"Lightning's been crying every night. Crying herself to sleep and wanting to just die and never come back. I know you feel that way, too. But this is Lightning we're talking about! She's begged you to open up to her how many times now and you keep refusing. How selfish can you get?"

Snow didn't answer, just tried to take another swig from the beer bottle still tight in his grip. Hope shook him roughly, causing the bottle to finally fall to the floor and shatter into pieces. The liquid slowly began its journey deep into the carpet, staining it and leaving a mark that probably wouldn't go away even after hours and hours of scrubbing. Just like both Snow and Lightning's hearts. They could try and scrub the pain away all they wanted alone, but they needed someone, something real and tangible to help ease their pain. To take it away. To make them forget.

"You're being such a selfish ass right now! You really think Serah would want to see either of you suffer?"

That seemed to break Snow out of his self-induced pity party and he looked up at the silver-haired man with wide, dark blue eyes. Hope's eyes softened somewhat.

"She wouldn't want to see either of you suffer. Especially alone. But if you're together…the pain won't be as bad. You can share your pain, let it blend and eventually, the pain will fade to an ache."

Hope shouldn't be gambling with saying something like that, acting as if he knew what it felt like. Knew exactly how they felt. But in a strange way, he did. Because of losing his mom. At first, he'd blamed Snow for her death, hated him even. But after seeing that he was truly remorseful of all that had taken place, all the pain that had been caused, even the pain that wasn't his fault, Snow had grown on him. And now the man was his best friend. Aside from Lightning, of course.

"I still think about her," he murmured, knowing Snow would get who he was talking about. "All the time. But after letting you in, letting both you and Lightning in…the pain isn't as great. Time does heal. Even if it doesn't always feel like it. But you have to let people in. To help you."

And in return you may help them as well. Hope thought that, but those were the words that got stuck on his tongue. He swallowed, breaking eye contact with the older man. And then returning it moments later.

"Go to her, Snow. Now."

It wasn't a request or even a plea. Hope was so worried about Lightning, about both of them, that at his point, it was an order. And he'd be damned if Snow didn't follow it. So with one last yank, he pulled Snow to his unsteady feet and shoved him toward where the front door was supposed to be.

Thankfully, Snow seemed to have really been affected by his words. That or the way Hope had been acting these past few minutes had scared him shitless, enough to want to run from him. Because the man strode somewhat shakily out of the building. Now all Hope could do was pray that Snow really was going to see Lightning and not going to get more booze.

And Snow was going to Lightning. Even through the haze in his alcohol-muddled brain, he knew that Hope was right. Serah wouldn't want to see anyone suffer. Especially the two people she cared about most in the world.

When Snow got to Lightning's apartment, he hesitated before knocking lightly on the door. Then louder. Still no answer. So Snow jiggled the doorknob and found that it was unlocked. Which wasn't like Lightning at all. In a new world, especially one that they were just getting to know, he figured that more than anyone else, the pink-haired woman would be so wary of possible threats. Of an attack or raid raining down on them. So no deadbolt was a surprise. No lock at all was even more so.

Immediately, he heard something. Something soft but…familiar. The pain in his chest flared and seemed to resonate with the pain of another. With Lightning's pain. He rounded the corner into her bedroom and stopped dead upon the sight of seeing the woman, so stoic and tough and strong, doubled over in the fetal position, curled up on her bed and sobbing her eyes out.

How could he have been so stupid? He had selfishly thought that there was no one else in this new world, no one at all whose pain could be worse than his own. But he'd been wrong. Lightning was Serah's sister; of course her pain would overpower his. By a fucking landslide.

Tentatively he stepped forward, reaching a hand out to offer comfort. But he drew back. Instead, choosing to sit down on the bed, hoping that Lightning would notice his presence with the dip of her mattress thanks to the added weight. She didn't. And her crying only seemed to intensify as time went on. Snow didn't know how much longer he could bear listening to it so he roughly pulled her up and into his arms, her lithe form colliding and then automatically curling into his chest.

Her tears had already soaked through part of his shirt in a matter of only seconds and Snow just rested his head atop the woman's with a pitiful sigh. It looked like the both of them were in for a long night.

…

When Lightning awoke the next morning, her eyes red and swollen, her chest aching from all the crying she'd put herself through, and found a blond brute in bed next to her, holding her close…she should have wanted to kick him onto the floor without a second's thought. Especially because he'd let her suffer by herself for so long…he was a selfish bastard. But Lightning couldn't bring herself to do it.

She thought she'd cried out all her tears that very first night in this new world when Serah hadn't shown up. Hadn't appeared as if by magic and then made everything miraculously okay. And then again last night, she'd cried buckets worth. Still, it wasn't enough. Her tears started up again, harder and faster than ever. The pain so fierce, it felt like she was being ripped in half.

Snow awoke to the ex-warrior crying once more, the woman who had once upon a time been so strong and almost cold-hearted, when it was the complete opposite that had been the truth. All along she had been terrified and vulnerable, using her tough girl appearance as a façade to make herself seem strong. To get things done. And now, there was no reason to keep that shield up. Even in front of him.

He pulled her into his arms once more, just as he had last night. And the vicious cycle of being ripped apart by their pain repeated. But…if they stopped to think about it, the pain wasn't nearly as bad as it had been when they'd been alone. Apart from one another.

And if they were honest with each other, as the days turned into weeks and then months, their time together cut the loneliness ever so slightly. It was only a paper cut, but for now, it was enough. And then one night, Snow kissed her. Hard and fierce. Maybe it was their love for Serah or the intense loneliness that still plagued them night and day even if it had begun to fade. It didn't matter, though, because Lightning kissed him back. Just as hard and just as fierce.

That cycle repeated itself, too. And began to wind even further, as only a few nights after that first kiss, Snow started to undress her. But the minute he hiked her nightgown up the edge of her thigh, Lightning stopped him with a shove and steely eyes. More like her old self. Even with his heart stinging at her obvious rejection, it still healed him ever so slightly to see that fire back in her eyes. It was only a sliver of what it used to be. But like with their slowly fading pain, for now it was enough.

"I'm not…" she took a ragged breath in, exhaling inaudibly through her nose. "I'm not a replacement," she said softly, running a tired hand through her tangled pink tresses. "I'm not…her replacement, Snow."

"I didn't say that you were," Snow murmured, hope flaring deeply in his chest. Maybe it hadn't been a rejection then. When she had shoved him.

How could he mistake her for Serah? Never. He never could. And that wasn't why he was doing this. He wasn't doing this because she looked a little like her sister and that would be enough to sate the remaining pain in his heart. He wasn't doing this because he felt bad. And he wasn't doing this just to sate her pain. He was doing it because he wanted to.

Somewhere along the way, while trying to relieve their joined pain, he had found himself starting to grow closer to the pink-haired woman, starting to feel for her in a way he hadn't even felt toward Serah. He felt heat pooling in his chest and in his groin just at the thought of trying to ease her pain.

"You're Claire Farron. Not even close to Serah."

His lips met hers and this time when he slid her nightgown up, she let him, even aided him by stretching her arms up above her when he went to take it off. His perspiration slicked hands slid reverently over her skin.

Would Serah have wanted this? Or would she hate them for it?

Both of them wondered that with heated intensity but they had grown to care for one another on a much deeper level through their pain. They couldn't deny it any longer. Even Lightning couldn't and she felt like she was betraying her precious baby sister. Betraying her memory.

Tears pricked her eyes as he entered her for the first time, but not from any kind of physical pain. He knew that and kissed the tears away as he situated himself inside her slowly. She made the first move, bucking her hips up into his and causing a light growl to leave his lips.

Then he pulled back out only to slam into her, causing her to see stars. How could she have ever survived without this? Already it felt so wonderful and she felt complete, even though there was that nagging deep in the back of her mind saying that Serah would hate them both for this.

But maybe Serah wouldn't. And hadn't Hope told Snow that Serah would want to see her two favorite people happy? Even if that meant them being together because they had somehow fallen in love as they worked on coping without her by their sides?

The second Snow hit that sweet bundle of nerves inside of her, her pleasure skyrocketed and then Lightning was no longer capable of rational, coherent thought. The only things that made sense were how good he was making her feel, how right this felt even though it also still felt wrong. It felt more right than wrong, and the pleasure was beginning to bubble over. Like lava deep in her skin.

And she released, unintentionally clenching her muscles around him as she did, causing him to release only moments later. His sweaty body fell on top of hers but he made sure to gently remove himself, rolling to her side and encircling his arms around her.

"I think…" he said with a shaky breath, "that she'd want us to be happy. More than anything."

All Lightning could do was nod, a lump thick and painful in her throat.

…

More than a year later and Hope and the others had gotten their wish. Snow and Lightning were nearly back to their old selves and living each day together and to the fullest, knowing that another pink-haired Farron hadn't gotten the chance to. The chance she deserved.

Lightning stood in the middle of a graveyard, a single, thorn less rose in her hand. She hadn't even left a body behind, but somehow…being surrounded by so many other lost souls, Lightning felt as if Serah would still hear her.

The silver ring on her left hand didn't feel like a heavy weight, not so much anymore. Not as much as it had at first. She wasn't her sister's replacement and she and Snow were happy. That…had to count for something right?

She laid the rose on a bare patch of grass, the brightest green she could find in the cold, dull season of winter. Her eyes stung with the memory of someone dear to her that she would never get to hold again, but she willed herself not to cry. Not anymore. She was done with tears. Serah wouldn't want them. At least not because of her.

"Promise me that you're happy. Wherever you are. We'll…be together again one day."

And with that, she turned abruptly, the pain in her chest trying to rear its head once more, but she wouldn't let it. She squelched it as fiercely as she could and walked back to Snow who stood at the entrance to the graveyard, hands in his pockets as he leaned back against the cold brick.

"Hey," he murmured, gazing at her questioningly.

Lightning managed to swallow the lump in her throat. "Hey," she replied, just as quiet.

Snow carefully encircled his arms around her, running long, calloused fingers through her hair soothingly.

"I'm sure she's doing fine."

The woman nodded, not trusting herself to speak anymore. And hand in hand, they left the depressing place that housed lost souls behind them.

…

Promise me that the two of you will stay happy. That's…all that I want.

…

Okay, so…wow. My first ever Lightning and Snow fic. I REALLY HOPE THIS WASN'T TOO OOC. But let me start off by saying that the summary I came up, I came up with for a reason. I think it's true that no matter what, when the worst actually happens, you're not ready for it. And it can break you in ways you never thought possible. In ways even worse than you thought it would. So even if Lightning is a bit OOC or a whole lot of OOC, I really think that if Serah hadn't been returned to them at the end of Lightning Returns, that the older Farron seriously might feel and act this way. If she lost her baby sister, the one person she had left in the world…I honestly could see it.

With that being said, I hope this wasn't too weird or anything. It just popped into my head and I started writing it right away. Honestly, I know a lot of my writing is raw and really…emotional and just…I don't even know what other words to use, but this feels twice as raw as normal. Maybe because it feels like it's been forever since I last uploaded a fanfic. Maybe because this is my first Final Fantasy XIII fic. I don't know.

The sad thing is I don't even own a PS3. So I don't own any of the Final Fantasy XIII's. But one of my best friends does and I've watched her play it, she's shown me God only knows how many cut scenes and pretty much right from the start, I shipped these two. They seem to go together so well. To me, there's so much chemistry and I honestly just love and adore them already. So, so much.

Also, in case you didn't know or couldn't tell, that last line in italics is supposed to be Serah. It felt fitting. The minute I thought to name this story Promise, that line came into my head so clearly and so strong. If she hadn't come back in Lightning Returns, I honestly feel like that would be something she'd say. Maybe that's just me, though.

Anyway, I have so many more fic ideas for these two. Happier and smuttier ones, I promiseeeee. But critique and feedback would be lovely. I want to know what you liked or what you think I could use work on with writing these two. Please and thank you.~

Sorry it's been awhile since my last upload, but hopefully this makes up for it. :3

-EdeatheDemonFox-