This is a sequel to the other one-shot "Thank You For Everything," because there's some connections that were put for a reason. I have been looking forward to writing this for a long time, and it was definitely the hardest work by far. It just further dwells on some thoughts during the event of the last manga in Naruto Shippuden.
I do not Naruto. Kishimoto is the man!
(*) Quote from M. Kishimoto
I'm Sorry For Everything
Sakura knelt there, supporting the collapsed Kakashi, staring after Sasuke in horror and heartbreak, who had turned their back on them, ready to leave with Naruto for their final battle to determine who will live to bring forth the renewal of the shinobi world.
"For certain I used to only want to destroy and achieve vengeance," declared Sasuke with burning passion, his sharingan and rinnigan blazing. "It's different now. Now I want to destro and rebuild. A village without darkness! I will reform the shinobi world! What I'm seeking is revolution!"
And after cruelly trapping the biju in planetary craters, he had openly admitted to Naruto without any signs of remorse that he would kill him out of necessity, in order to gain the demons' power, just when they have finally earned their freedom.
Sasuke's back was still turned on them. On her. It was just like...on the night he left, under a full moon...
How dare he?! HOW DARE HE?! WHO THE HELL DOES HE THINK HE IS?!
Her body shook.
Her fists clenched so tightly in her lap that her nails broke skin.
Her eyes that were rapidly filling with tears burned with anger.
So much anger, and so much sorrow, that it was killing her. This kind of suffering, watching the boy she loved all her life fall further into darkness, become this hateful monster, and betray everything and everyone they had fought hard to save...only for him to announce his intentions to destroy it all again and fill it with world of darkness and hate.
To kill his best friend like it was nothing! She wanted to throw up. How can she still love a man like this? Was it really possible to hate and love someone at the same time? It was torture. She could never stop loving him, not even after everything...but she could not stop herself from hating what he was becoming either.
She wanted to curse him and spit in his face for what he was doing to them, but wanted hug him and plead with him to stop before it was too late.
Even worse was that even after all of this, he still turned his back on her. Even after everything she had worked and fought hard to get stronger, to catch up with the two boys on her team, whether they had been friends or enemies, even after everything she had sacrificed to protect him, Sasuke Uchiha still treated her like she was nothing!
He would not even look at her.
Sakura clenched her teeth. She had enough.
She had enough.
"I..." Sakura came out with a stammer, trying but failing to keep her emotions from shattering. She watched as Sasuke was slowly walking away, and shouted after him. "I know in my heart that there's nothing I can do...even that I can't get close to you, or exchange blows with you..."
Naruto, Kakashi, and the Sage of Six Paths were still watching the exchange with solemn interest.
Sasuke still kept walking, as though he hadn't heard.
"...but I love you!" she screamed at him.
Then Sasuke stopped. His feet had stumbled slightly. Sakura's breath caught at this small change, feeling a tiny rise of hope that he was listening, but she didn't stop there.
"I care so much about you, Sasuke, and I can only whine, beg, and cry like this again," she said, her voice cracking. "It's totally pitiful, isn't it?"
"Sakura...thank you for everything."
"But...but Sasuke..." Sakura pleaded, tears running down her cheeks, "If there's any corner of your heart that thinks about me, even just a little...please don't leave again! If we just stick together, I know it can be like the old times again...someday..."
Sakura stared after him tearfully, waited for the Uchiha's response with bated breath. They all did. For the longest minute, Sasuke didn't seem to move from his spot.
Finally, his shoulder slightly relaxing, Sasuke slowly turned to glance at her with his rinnigan eye. Straight at her. Unreadable, but almost...sad. "You..." he said, "...are so damned annoying."
Sakura's eyes widened...
THUNK!
Sasuke was suddenly right in front of her...with his hand plunged straight through her heart.
Sakura knelt there, frozen, staring straight into the blazing, angry gaze of Sasuke Uchiha, his hand still in her chest. Too much in shock to feel the pain that follow, Sakura watched him with tears stuck to her cheeks. Her hair swept from her face.
He...did it...Her mind processed fuzzily. He...really killed me. I was...wrong...Naruto...He's next...Sasuke...is really gone...
His eyes blazed at her behind his long bangs, seeming to sweep from the wind of his speed. Red and purple looking straight into her emerald green.
His beautiful face was calm, but his jaw was clenched and his eyes were enraged. Full of hate and disgust. Dark with ultimate intention. Murderous and...
A fat tear rolled down his cheek from his red Sharingan eye. A tear...was it her dying mind playing tricks on her? Sasuke never cried.
His eyes...were they possibly full of...sadness?
Was the hatred in his eyes really toward her...or toward himself?
Hate me, his voice echoed, though his lips did not move.
Do you love me now, Sakura?
His voice was everywhere. Multiplying. Echoing. Mocking her. Belittling her.
You're so damned annoying!
Annoying!
Nuisance! Weakling!
You make me sick!
What's the matter? You going to cry again?
Give it up already!
Just give up and leave me alone!
Can you love a demon, Sakura?!
Sakura...
Sakura...
SAKURA...
Though he gave her a mocking grin, another tear rolled down his face from his rinnagan eye.
What did it mean...?
Sakura...thank you...
It ended in a quiet whisper. Almost...like he was in pain. Like her.
Sasuke...
It was her last thought before darkness drowned her as she felt her body fall forward.
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Sakura woke and sat up with a sharp gasp. Her head swimming, her hands automatically moved to her chest. Her heart pounded wildly against her palm on her left breast.
Alive. She was alive. What in the world-?
"You're finally awake." She jumped and turned to see Kakashi kneeling next to her, looking severely grave.
"Kakashi-sensei? W-What...?"
"You were put under a genjutsu by Sasuke," Kakashi said tiredly, though his eyes were filled with anger and sadness. "Apparently he didn't want you chasing after them." The masked copy-nin would rather not repeat what he had heard Sasuke say about Sakura, dismissing her suffering and her love without a pause of breath in such a way that Kakashi could not even comprehend. He remembered wanting to, for the first time, to strangle his former-student with his bare hands in that moment.
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Sakura's kneeling form wobbled, her tearful face going slack, before falling forward heavily on the ground next to a horrified Kakashi.
"What the hell! You didn't need to put Sakura under genjutsu!" shouted Naruto furiously. Even now, after everything that has happened, it still shocked him that Sasuke would ever harm Sakura, even after the couple of times he had tried to kill her.
After glancing at Sakura's body briefly, Sasuke turned his back again. "She would've chased after us and had gotten in the way," he said, his tone dark and emotionless.
"Sakura..." Kakashi managed to say, his tone trembling with rage and disbelief. He slowly looked up to face Sasuke with eyes full of disgust. "Sakura just wanted to save you. She always did."
Sasuke glanced back suddenly. "You want me to play at romance?" he snapped, his tone slow and full of anger now. "I have no reason to like her, nor does she have any reason to like me."
Sasuke's response had sounded a little too forceful for Kakashi to believe, like he had hit a sensitive spot regarding the Uchiha's hidden heart. "You keep telling yourself that," said Kakashi, his cold tone matching Sasuke's, "but you only need a reason to hate a person! Sakura is not trying or wanting to make you hers! She only wants to save you! She whom you came close to killing once...She feels for and spills tears over you, even now...because she suffers from loving you!" he shouted the last words.
Sasuke had listened in silence, his expression unreadable. He was quiet for a long time. Kakashi hoped that Sasuke would feel something, at least a little remorse, for Sakura's sake...either way, he could tell the raven had heard his words.
Sasuke then replied, his eyes hidden behind his long bangs. "Perhaps..." he said quietly, almost sadly, "...those are the ties...to a failed past..."
The Uchiha then leapt away over the rocks without looking back to Kakashi's dismay. Even the copy-nin couldn't help feeling a tiny bit of remorse for Sasuke's pain.
Sasuke...
"I once swore to Sakura," Naruto spoke up gravely to Kakashi, "a long time ago, that I'd bring Sasuke back."
"Naruto..."
"Sensei! You know my Ninja Way already, right? I'm gonna go!"
Kakashi stared at Naruto for a long while, feeling that this might be the last time he will ever see his rambunctious student, and felt a wave of sadness and pride toward the son of the Fourth, his late-sensei. He nodded. "Yeah...We're all counting on you...Naruto."
Naruto nodded back, glanced at Sakura's unconscious form one more time, before turning to zip after Sasuke.
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Genjutsu. Sakura whimpered a little, her hand still hovering over her chest, but the lack of any bloody holes over her heart confirmed her old sensei's words. That meant Sasuke hadn't killed her, after all. But still... Damn it, I should have known! That bastard! she thought, feeling angry and hurt, but relieved to be alive at the same time. It had literally felt like she had woken up from the dead, or rather finally escaped her worst nightmare.
Sakura looked around her. The terrain was more disastrous than before. She could no longer see the planetary craters that trapped the demons, or the Sage of Six Paths. She was also met with a darker sky, the sun just disappearing bellow the horizon, the stars appearing, and the moon rising on the other side.
"...Its night already...?" She must have been out for hours! What had happened? Where were-oh, no!
Sakura faced Kakashi urgently. "Where are Sasuke and Naruto?!" she demanded.
"They're currently fighting their final battle," said Kakashi, "in order to settle things for good."
Sakura stared at him in horror. This couldn't be happening.
If she had been out for this long, then...was it possible that they were...
She thought about the nightmare of a genjutsu Sasuke had cast on her. The one what had him plunge his hand into her heart, his expression dark and eyes blazing with hatred...and also full of pain. The tears running down his face were unmistakable.
Hate me...
Can you love a demon, Sakura?!
Sakura...thank you...
"We have to go find them!" Sakura demanded, startling Kakashi.
"Sakura, there is nothing that we can do at this point..."
She slammed her fist to the ground angrily, her green eyes blazing. "I don't care!" she shouted. "I have been left behind far too many times to leave this alone! They could be dead, for all we know, and as a medic of the field, it is my job to make sure those two morons don't die! Now tell me which way they went!"
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Far away, a bright, earth-shattering sphere of light detonated from the Valley of the End, met by rasingan and chidori.
Then there was silence.
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In the night sky was a full moon. Round, bright, and pearly white. Not blood-red, like the eye of the Sharingan, or the river of blood the leaked from his new stump of an arm, mixing with that of Naruto's.
It was beautiful and pure, quiet and soothing.
Familiar, Sasuke thought drowsily.
Looking to his left where Naruto lay, bearing a similar bloodied stump on the right arm that he caused, he saw that the dobe had already lost conscious with reality. He noted the gentle rise and fall of the blond's chest and felt a strange sense of relief. Not long ago, he had meaning to destroy Naruto, but now...now Naruto could be the first to die and all Sasuke could feel was immense sorrow and remorse. Then all of it would end when he followed his rival to the afterlife, though maybe not in the same place, considering everything he had done and what he had been meaning to do.
"You ask me to explain it," Naruto had said softly, "but honestly it's not like I really understand it either...just that when I see you take on stuff and get all messed up...it kinda...hurts. It hurts inside so much, I can't leave it alone! Though today I'm in a ton of pain everywhere." Then he cackled, grimacing in agony while Sasuke watched in surprise, but all the anger had suddenly started to leave him as he suddenly recalled the first times he had noticed the blond boy who had been his rival, then his team mate, and finally his best friend.
Naruto...
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I knew you were always alone long ago.
The village shunned you, just like they did me, the lone Uchiha survivor.
You intentionally did stupid things to get scolded and get people's attention. In the beginning, I thought of you as a good-for-nothing loser. A weakling eternally begging for attention. But...
The more I watched you being idiotic and getting yelled at, over and over...it started weighing on my mind. That's when I wondered if your weakness was rubbing off on me.
Afterwards, every time I'd see you, I'd think more and more about you. Seeing you desperately trying to bond with others made me recall my family. And for whatever reason, I feel warm and fuzzy...
...but at the same time, I considered it a weakness.
I trained hard, as if to escape that weakness, in order to get stronger than my brother, in order to get my revenge. Yet I ended up in the same team as you, and I began thinking about my family again. Completing missions with you, who jabbered on and on about becoming Hokage, I saw both of us getting stronger and started wanting to battle you too, someday.
And I began to see a shadow of my own family in Team Seven...
That's why every time I saw you suffering...yeah, that's right...I too felt pain.
When I understood your hurt, I finally saw you as a comrade. And conversely, I couldn't let you, who was rapidly getting stronger, just be. Watching you keep getting stronger, I...
"I always knew you were alone too. I felt better knowing there was someone who was like me out there. I was so happy and wanted to talk to you, be around you. But I never could. Because I was also jealous of you. You were good at everything. You were my rival! You were my goal. I had nothing, but I built bonds. And then in our missions as Team 7, I kept chasing after you. I wanted to be strong like you. Cool like you."
It was the opposite. I was the one who was jealous of you, in more ways than you ever knew. You had strength that I didn't have...you were always walking in front of me, just like my late brother...but I understand why now...and that is why I acknowledge now…*
...that I have lost...
...and that you were right all along.
It will be a debt I will never be able to repay.
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Sasuke looked toward the moon, never looking away from its pure silvery light. The stars that had been hidden behind dusty clouds from the after-effects of the battle began to appear. In the night's luminescence, though it may be his own imagination, pale pink petals drifted in clusters across the moonlight's path, bathing his vision as they floated like wings in the breeze.
Her smiling face appeared at the center, her pink hair glowing from the silver light. Her eyes sparkled with brightest green, so full of innocence, heart, and beauty.
Sakura.
Throat now throbbing, his jaw trembled when the illusion of the pink-haired kunoichi appeared in his eyes. While he held on to his conscious reality, it became harder to hold on to the image of her, but he would do whatever it takes to keep it there for as long as he could.
Just to see her face. Her beautiful, smiling face. Her hair...her blushing cheeks...her eyes, so full of many emotions...free from war and despair...free from suffering and betrayal, so full of light and hope...and love...
"Sakura...?" His voice came out all croaky and weak, the sound of her name barely comprehensible through his lips, though Naruto was not awake to hear it.
Her green eyes gazing down at him seemed to grow fainter. Merely a memory...
Don't...Don't disappear...not yet...Stay with me...just a little longer...
A tear leaked from his open black eye and ran down the side of his bloodied face.
Sakura...
"I have no right to ask for anything..." murmured Sasuke toward the moon, for it was all he could talk to. He imagined that it was her he was talking to. "I don't deserve, or expect, any forgiveness...it doesn't even matter...that you hate me...but just once more, before I leave this world...just let me see your face...hear your voice...hear you say my name...just one more time."
When Sasuke closed his eyes, more tears ran down his face. "Please...just...just let me see you...one more time..." he whispered.
Just one more time...
"Sakura..."
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I remember now, though I have never really forgotten. It happened on a night of a full moon, just like the one right now, shining over my bleeding, crippled body.
I especially remember your tears, each one piercing the soft pores of my hardened heart.
"I know you hate me."
You must now hate me.
"Even in the beginning, you could never stand me."
Even in the beginning, I treated you like crap.
There is so much you don't know, Sakura. So much...like how you were always on my mind. I always tried to fight it, buried you so deeply that I would never be able to admit it to myself...but not a day went by since I left that you weren't constantly on my mind. Even if it was just an annoying habit, or as an escape route from a world of pain...or even during the times when filled with bitterness and hatred...but you were there. In my mind...and in my heart.
"Sakura..."
"..."
"Thank you for everything."
You were the part of my soul that I had left behind to become this creature full of hate and evil.
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It was already late in the night. Sakura looked up as she supported Kakashi as they stopped to rest for the night after crossing the terrain. When her sensei had passed out from exhaustion, she herself leaned against a nearby boulder to gaze at the risen moon in the sky. Nostalgia overwhelmed her.
It's a full moon tonight, she thought. It's beautiful.
I don't hear anything. The battle must be over.
Sasuke...
Naruto...
Where are you?
Both of you...please be alright! Please be alive! I can't lose you both!
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Sasuke...
Despite everything you have done to Naruto, Kakashi, and to me...I have hated what you have become, I'll admit, and I cannot fully forgive what you are trying to do now...I'm not Naruto...but I could never, ever hate you!
Despite everything, I still love you, Sasuke Uchiha, even if you don't love me back. Even if you do hate me. Even though you both shunned and tried to kill me, I still cannot escape, nor abandon, my love for you.
It's a beautiful curse, just as hatred was yours. It's sad, really.
There had been a time that, like any other girl, to me you were perfect. Not only were you handsome, but you were bold, strong, and smart. You had this quiet, dark presence that seemed both cool and scary, majestic even, the kind that naturally draws anyone in…..but for me, it was not only because you inspired me, but because you always made me feel safe.
But it was mostly because I remember when you smiled, and you had such a beautiful smile. We were very young. The first time I had seen you was during recess at the Ninja Academy on the first. You were leaning against the rail, eating a rice ball alone with a bored frown on your face, while I was the new girl without any friends or experience with the ninja life. When you turned to look at me with his dark frown on your face, I had to admit that I was both embarrassed and scared of you at first. I avoided you, even though you wouldn't have noticed me anyway.
But one day when out of school, I saw you smiling for the first time while walking home with a taller boy that I'm now pretty sure was your older brother, Itachi. You were talking to him excitedly about something, but the way you smiled so genuinely at him, your dark eyes lighting with this clear brown that shined like the sun….that was when everything started for me. That was when I first fell for for you.
I wanted you to smile like that for me one day.
In due time, I became the typical fangirl like any other. A girl who competed more for your love than for becoming a strong ninja. I became too blinded to see that, after your family was killed, that the quiet, dark, angry presence that made you look so attractive before was really the cloak of your pain and hatred.
When I began to understand it more in the Forest of Death, as I first watched you suffer the curse mark in my arms, you grasping my arms desperately as I was the only one around who can comfort you, fearing for your life….I think that was when I knew that I loved you more than ever before. Because instead of you making me feel safe, I began to feel that it should become my duty to return the favor willingly. Even if I felt useless at it, but I would try.
I know now all too well that, like me and Naruto, you are not perfect. You don't express your emotions too well, and when you do, they were mostly cold and angry. In short, Naruto may have been a troublemaking idiot, and me a bratty fangirl, but you were an arrogant jerk. You were also rude, antisocial, and can be just as reckless as Naruto and I.
But now you are not only arrogant, but power-hungry, hateful, and just…..shattered. To the point where I don't even recognize you anymore. To choose power and vengeance, and regard it more highly than your own friends….your family…..
Why do I love you? Other people have kept asking me that question, but not as much as I keep asking myself, like I need a reason to. But….I just do. Maybe it can be safe to say that I can give you the same amount of affection as I give Naruto, who is like my brother…..I wish now that it were so.
We have little in common except for how messed up we truly must be, in our way. Especially when you tried to kill me, or even when I was going to kill you, that our goals were to become stronger for very different reasons...but after all this, I will stop. After this, if I manage to save you and Naruto in time, I will leave you alone. You won't be bothered by me again, and I won't spent the rest of my life chasing after you.
I will always love you, Sasuke, and only you, freely and unconditionally...
...and that is why, after this, I will finally let you go. I will free us both.
Just promise me...if it's not too late, that if Naruto does succeed when I couldn't, that you will learn to respect yourself and others.
Just...learn to live, Sasuke. Learn to love, even if it's not with me.
Do that, and I will try to do the same.
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Sakura….
You had always chased after me, just as I had always chased after my brother, Itachi.
Looking back on it now...I was a bit like you once, Sakura. I had loved my brother above everyone and everything else, even as he always kept me at distance. Always poking my forehead, saying "next time," but later broke those promises, constantly disappointing me. Despite all that, I thought that there was nothing that my big brother could do that could make me hate him.
Perhaps it didn't. Not really...but I was wrong. The Uchihas' curse is hatred...but it is believed that hatred has always come from loving too much.
My love had turned into hate all in one night. The person I loved the most had betrayed me in the worst way possible. He took everything from me: my parents, my clan, my childhood, and even the kind, protective older brother whom I trusted and worshipped and whom I thought loved me back.
The worst thing is that I had believed every lie he had told me the night he slaughtered the clan. I had only been a small child back then, but ever since I learned the truth about Itachi, that he sacrificed everything to protect me, I wish now that I had not believed his lies. Even though I still hate what he had done to me, I miss him more than ever.
Maybe that was why I had always kept you at a distance. I never poked you like he had, because at the time I had never understood what it had really meant...but I made you and everyone else think that I didn't care. Not because that was the case (most of the time)...
...but because that I was too afraid to love again.
It had already nearly destroyed me once, only anchored by the need to avenge my clan. And look where that got me now...
Sakura, you were never afraid to love. That had always annoyed the hell out of me, because you just could not understand how dangerous it was to be like that. It would have been easier to hate, but you could never hate me.
Why couldn't you just hate me, Sakura? Why not curse me, despise me, or just forget about me completely? I gave you more reason than anyone else to hate me. I have even done it on purpose. Many times. Probably even more so than Naruto.
"I...I know in my heart that there's nothing I can do...even that I can't get close to you, or exchange blows with you...but I love you! I care so much about you, Sasuke, and I can only whine, beg, and cry like this again. It's totally pitiful, isn't it? But...but Sasuke...if there's any corner of your heart that thinks about me, even just a little...please don't leave again! If we just stick together, I know it can be like the old times again...someday..."
Those were the last words you had ever said to me. You had begged me in tears, like you did when we were thirteen, the night that I had chosen to leave. That I had chosen revenge over my friends. You had even said you loved me, even when I had abandoned you, ignored you, hurt you, and even tried to kill you more than once.
"You...are so damned annoying."
And those were the last words I had said to you...before I cast a genjutsu on you.
Did you ever understand, Sakura? Did you ever understand what the words that constantly hurt you had grown to mean something else to me?
You would have thought that your words had not affected me, but they did, though it was not enough to stop me. It was to keep you from following, but I had never despised myself so much.
Kakashi's words only damned me further.
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"Sakura..." Kakashi managed to say, his tone trembling with rage and disbelief. He slowly looked up to face Sasuke with eyes full of disgust. "Sakura just wanted to save you. She always did."
Sasuke snapped and turned in with a sudden fuel of rage that filled his emptiness. "You want me to play at romance?" he growled, coldly. "I have no reason to like her, nor does she have any reason to like me."
"You keep telling yourself that," said Kakashi, slowly, "but you only need a reason to hate a person! Sakura is not trying or wanting to make you hers! She only wants to save you! She whom you came close to killing once...She feels for and spills tears over you, even now...because she suffers from loving you!" he shouted the last words.
Every word was a knife jabbing into a cold, darkened heart. The memory of Sakura's tearful, agonized face pleading after him, before changing into shock and horror when he cast the genjutsu on her, and then going slack with unconsciousness before falling, her body hitting the ground unceremoniously…..Sasuke felt dead inside.
This had happened before.
"Don't leave me!" Sakura screamed. "If you go, I'll scream and-"
Suddenly Sasuke disappeared...Sakura gasped and froze when she felt his air breeze behind her, brushing her hair. She could feel his hot breath at the back of her neck.
"Sakura..." he whispered.
"..."
"Thank you for everything," he said softly.
….. When her unconscious body started forward, Sasuke quickly caught her….. He held her like that for a long while, staring ahead along the road with sadness breaking through his expression. The moon's light lit up the pathway, leading all the way out of the village, where he must go and never look back.
When processing the warm feeling of her body in his arms, lying comfortably against his chest as though she were asleep, he shifted her so that her head was pillowed at the crook of his neck, his arms still wrapped around her when he was now able to see her face.
He lifted a hand and placed it on her cheek. Stained with tears, her face was soft and warm, still filled with childish youth and smoothness, illuminating from the moon's glow that defined her features more clearly. His fingers traced the soft strands of her pink hair when brushing them from her face, marveling its exotic color and it smooth lightness like the surface of a rose petal. A living cherry blossom.
She looked...so beautiful.
A sob then escaped him without meaning to as he gasped for breath, leaning over her and burying his face into her soft hair as the crushing feeling that he had in his chest this whole time started to take over. When trying to catch his breath, catching Sakura's familiar vanilla scent, he clenched his teeth and shut his eyes, holding Sakura so close he wanted to pull her inside of him and keep her there…..
When he finally managed to catch his breath and swallowed hard, Sasuke lifted Sakura up bridal style, shifting her weight in his arms and carried her until placing her gently on top of the stone bench. He stood over her, watching her unconscious form silently, his bangs shadowing his expression when seeing the relaxed peace on her sleeping face.
"I don't hate you," Sasuke whispered. That was all he knew for sure how he felt towards her.
Just for a minute, one minute, when Sakura spoke to him with some hope in her voice….of pure love…..he felt that warmth. That annoyingly familiar and beautiful warmth….making his inky heart beat with life….
His hand brushed through her hair, as he started to lean over her face, feeling her soft breath moist his skin. His eyes moved to her lips. Hadn't she always wanted him to kiss her? What would it have felt like? He leaned closer until he could smell her breath, his heart pounding rapidly at how close there faces were now. So close that he could almost taste her...
Did she mean it? Would she really do anything for him? Would she help him kill Itachi?
Just as his lips brushed hers with the faintest touch, enough to send sparks through his skin...
No.
...he shifted to the side at the last second and settled them on her wet cheek, tasting her salty tears while he lingered and smelled her sweet scent. One last time.
Then the image of his family appeared before his eyes. Mother, Father, Itachi…..his childhood self…..gone.
Like them, Sakura may as well be to him. A good, but long-lost memory…..
Would you still love me after this, Sakura?
Closing his burning eyes, Sasuke then replied, his pained expression hidden behind his long bangs. "Perhaps..." he said hollowly, trying to ignore the sharp pang in his chest, "...those are the ties...to a failed past..."
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Whatever I had made you see, it would have been better that you hated me.
Because whoever would win this battle, to continue this undeserved love for me would destroy you completely.
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A pink and red flash darted out of the tunnel from the huge crater of the explosion.
Her warm chakra that was boiling with hot rage was already familiar. Could it be...?
"ALRIGHT, ENOUGH!" shouted the pink-haired kunoichi, grabbing a handful of the taller, black-haired ANBU's shirt. "What are you really up to? How many times do you have to betray us before you-"
"Sakura," he found himself saying.
Sakura stopped abruptly. Time seemed to stand still as she slowly turned her head upward, her rosy hair touseling in the breeze. Her wide eyes growing impossibly wider with shock, awe, recognition...and then dread when she found him in the sunlight. Her petite, black-gloved hand slackened from her companion's collar.
Sasuke stared back down at her on the cliff of the crater above them, the breeze brushing his clothes and hair. He found himself drawn by the sight of her. She looked the same...and not. She matured. She was stronger. Fiercer. She was...she looked...
"It's you...Sas...uke," she said softly. The sweet sound of her voice saying his name...
What the hell was she doing here? She shouldn't be here. Ever. Why was she here?!
His moment of surprise behind his emotionless facade was quickly replaced with annoyance and slight amusement at her reaction. Her emerald eyes lit with many emotions, still readable as ever.
So...it really is her. Sakura...she still hasn't changed. Hn. Annoying.
Moments later, another stronger chakra-a wild swirl of flaming energy-came stumbling out of the tunnel in a dash of yellow and orange. Naruto.
Hidden emotions reacted in his chest...before immediately suppressed to indifference as he faced his old teammates for the first time in two years.
The sight of his replacement in Team 7 sent a jolt of resentment through him, further pulling him away from his old friends and allowing his decision to be easier voiced without mercy.
Sasuke was going to get through their heads, especially Naruto's, that he had no intention of going back with them. That he already decided to cut all bonds with them. That he only had one type of bond: the bonds of hatred between him and Itachi.
His hand gripped the hilt of his katana tightly. They were enemies now. If they should try to stop him, he will attack them. Might even be forced to kill them if it came to it. Sasuke could no longer look at Sakura's horrified face.
They really shouldn't have come.
.
.
.
All the times that you think that I ignored you, that I didn't give you any consideration or acknowledgement, especially after I had gone rogue, you couldn't have been more wrong.
While you probably would have thought that I didn't care, it was really the fact that I was too afraid to face you. I just could not look you in the eye for more than thirty seconds as my enemy when I saw you for the first time in two years, not like I could face Naruto. He had always been rival, so he had been easy, but you...I had no idea how much stronger you had gotten since I had last seen you.
I especially could not look you in the eye after trying to kill you without merely acting as an ally on the battlefield. It had been easier to face you that, not because that I didn't already acknowledge you.
When seeing you for the first time in two years, in the crater of Orochimaru's hideout, saying your name aloud felt strange. You had grown since I last saw you. You had lost some of the softness of a child and your eyes were sharper...but as they widened with shock when you slowly looked toward the sound of my voice, whispering my name like a prayer...I did not know how much you changed, but knowing that I can still do that to you...
I would like to say that I have felt nothing at that time, but then I would be lying. Seeing you, hearing your voice, made me feel a lot of things in that brief moment, and to this day it still confuses and irritates me...you never would have guessed, Sakura, but you probably affect me as much as I affect you. Because of that, I could not look at you, fearing that every emotion that I have fought to suppress and cut off completely would resurface.
Seeing your strength, your powers, your courage...you had pushed beyond your limits in such a way that I would have never thought you capable of. You had saved us. Saved me.
I was impressed. You were still annoying and still couldn't keep your emotions in check, but I can finally admit that I am proud of how far you came since we were genin, even if I had been skeptical at the same time. The rumors of your accomplishments as Lady Tsunade's apprentice have spoken true.
You were never a means to an end.
You were never just merely there because of Naruto.
Your life was never meaningless to me.
.
.
.
"Naruto...During the Infinite Tsukuyomi, Kakashi and Sakura just happened to be next to you. That is all." Sasuke would look at them as he spoke to Naruto, his cold expression hidden behind his bangs. "Do you understand?"
Naruto paused, his sage-colored eyes wide with disbelief...before they hardened with determination."...I do," he said softly.
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.
.
What I wouldn't give for you to know that now.
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.
Sasuke could just feel the shock, hurt, and confusion radiate from Sakura behind him and determinedly did his best to ignore her.
No matter what she felt, he knew that she believed in Naruto. She would only get in the way. She won't interfere. That was what mattered.
Not only did he and Naruto had to live to win this fight, no matter what, but so did Sakura. She had to live.
She had to.
.
.
.
You had your own share of pain. You were bullied as a child, known as the freaky pink-haired girl with the wide forehead. Back then, you were shy, fidgety, and shadowed the Hamanaka girl, hardly someone worth noticing. When you got older, you became as irritating and nosy as the rest of the girls, which was worse.
But when we were put on the same team with the dobe, ever since our first real mission in the Land of Waves, I slowly began to understand Naruto's crush on you. You may not have lived similar lives as Naruto and I have, nor had you truly understood the pains we had been put through, but it never stopped you from trying to understand. You were annoying and bossy, but you were also smart, warm, and compassionate. You are a kind girl, Sakura Haruno.
You became a light in my darkness, whether I wanted it or not...but it felt good.
It was a weakness that I could not afford.
That was the thirteen year-old girl from our genin days that I remember. The genin days that I tried to forget. Tried to be rid of, your existence in this world, in my mind, making me suffer….
But now….
Now I want to know to know more. Where you were, what you have been doing...where your heart lies...because now I know, even as I fade away, where mine lies.
Sakura...
Could you ever forgive me...
...for my behavior...
...for my actions...
...for my twisted intentions...
...for everything that I've done...until now?
The morning light had woken Sasuke and Naruto up. Sasuke was surprised that they were still alive. It looked they had failed to die again.
Naruto kept complaining about not being able to move, because he had been determined to clobber him again and finally make him open his eyes.
Then Sasuke laughed. Laughed. A real, genuine laugh. He had never laughed like this in so long that it felt so strange, that even Naruto looked a little freaked out that the normally emotionless, angry, dark Sasuke Uchiha was laughing for real. But Sasuke didn't care. They were all pretty messed up, and Sasuke just couldn't believe that Naruto was still up for another fight. It was hilarious.
If only you can see me now, Sakura.
Naruto was truly serious about, claiming that he would keep doing it, no matter how many times. Looking towards the blue sky, Sasuke admitted with a smile that he lost.
Naruto lost his temper and ranted that it wasn't about winning or losing, and that it was about punching a sulking friend and making him snap out of it. He then said that the real match that he wanted came after that.
After that. Sasuke's smile faded and he closed his eyes in pain. He had no intention of there being anything else for him afterward. He did not expect to survive this fight. He did not even...expect his final wish to be granted.
Sakura. Just to look into her beautiful eyes, to touch her petal-like hair, feel her tender touch...it was likely he would never get that luxury ever again. He would probably die before she would wake up from the genjutsu he threw at her...and even by then, she would probably not forgive him this time. That was fine. He couldn't even forgive himself. But all the same, there were things he wanted to tell her...things he wished he had time to say, wished he knew how to say, but couldn't...
I'm sorry, Sakura. I'm so sorry...
"Hey, Naruto..."
"Huh?"
"I've acknowledged you now..." murmured Sasuke. "If I die here, the long cycle of destiny the Sage of Six Paths mentioned will probably end as well. This type or revolution, too. You can undo the Infinite Tsukuyomi after...after I'm dead...by transplanting my left eye into Kakashi or someone else."
Forgive me, Sakura...Naruto...for what I plan to do next...He opened his eyes, and for a moment, he could once again see Sakura's soft, smiling face in the morning sky, her cherry-blossom pink hair matching the sunrise and green eyes bright like spring leaves. Beautiful...Sasuke felt peace settle in his soul in that moment.
"I...will put an end to myself," he whispered.
"DON'T YOU DARE!" roared Naruto instantly, startling Sasuke. His blue eyes were blazing with fury. "You're not gonna kill yourself, dammit! You dying ain't gonna settle things! Not for you, or me, or Sakura, or Kakashi, or anyone else! If you'd go that far, then live, and help me instead! What I wanna do is help get all shinobi to cooperate with each other! Including you!"
"Just because it's what you want," said Sasuke, tiredly, "that doesn't mean others will agree to it."
Just because you will accept me back, that doesn't mean anyone else will. It's already too late, Naruto.
"Then I'll stop you again!" said Naruto determinedly. Then he added with confidence, "Actually, I know you're not gonna do that kind of thing anymore."
"..." Sasuke stared at him sadly. "How can you say that?" he said so softly that it was a good thing Naurto had sharp hearing. "How can you be so sure?"
"Gargh! Don't make me keep repeating myself! Do you still not understand anything?!" Naurot scoffed and said coyly, "Now that I think about it, you were always pretty stupid, too! I..." Naruto stopped and his eyes widened in shock when seeing a tear visibly run down Sasuke's cheek from his closed eye, leaving a dirty streak along with his bloody eye trails. The heavy blood bleeding from their stumps mixed together.
"Shut up...you loser," muttered Sasuke, staring up the sky. Naruto chuckled.
They lay in silence.
"But just in case..." Naruto said finally, staring up the morning sky with his friend. "Any regrets?" When Sasuke didn't answer, Naruto winced and chuckled uneasily. "Eh-heh, sorry. Stupid question. Forget I said-"
"Sakura."
Naruto glanced over in surprise when hearing Sasuke whisper his pink-haired teammate's name. Sasuke, not looking at him, slowly shut his eyes, his jaw trembling. He seemed to be trying, but unsuccessfully, holding back his pain.
After confirming that he heard correctly, and the meaning behind it, Naruto sighed and nodded. "Yeah," he whispered. "Me, too." He smiled a little. Somehow, it made the jinchuriki happy that the Uchiha was finally acknowledging Sakura...if he hadn't before, but for that, it also gave Naruto even more reason to want another go at Sasuke and kick his self-centered ass to next month. And a little sad, because not only was it confirmed that he would possibly lose the chance for winning his longtime crush's affections to his newly saved friend, but that there may never be a chance for Sakura to ever know that, and that made it worse.
Sasuke grunted a little skeptically. Naruto was not the one who wronged her more often than not. Why should he have any regrets when he had always been there for her, while all Sasuke ever did was the exact opposite? The reminder was salt in the wound.
"She'll forgive you, you know," murmured Naruto.
Sasuke smirked sadly, and shook his head slightly.
"No, she won't," he whispered softly. He had made sure of it. "Not this time...and I wouldn't blame her..."
"She will," Naruto insisted stubbornly. "Whatever happens...if not now, she'll eventually forgive you. She loves you that much. Believe it!"
Sasuke made small noise at Naruto's words, another treacherous tear running. It was hard to stay unemotional when on the verge of death, and Naruto knew it, that vindictive idiot.
But his words were torture. Wishful thinking.
What had he ever done to Sakura to deserve her love, or her forgiveness?
Although, he secretly hoped that the dobe was right.
Otherwise...Sasuke just didn't know anymore.
He had never not have Sakura love him, never mind hate him.
He was almost afraid of living long enough to ever find out...but he needed to.
Even if hers would be the last face he would ever see in this world. It would be enough.
"There they are!" exclaimed Sakura.
"Of course, they would be here," mused Kakashi, who was being supported with his arm slung over the shoulders of Sakura. They were the cliff that loomed over the Valley of the End. The great monoliths of Madara Uchiha and Hashirama Senju guarded either side of the broken waterfall that bore rocks and debris from all the previous destruction, but their arms were broken off. They missing pieces lay crossed over each other in chopped pieces, two fingers from each side that had been originally forming a sign were now crossed over each other. Hooked together, as though displaying the unbroken ties of friendship.
And sure enough, on top of those crossed fingers, were the two tiny, unmistakable figures of Naruto and Sasuke.
Their chakras were faint, but alive, and the fact that they weren't moving told Sakura that they were injured. Badly.
Placing Kakashi down, the kunoichi sped down the cliff with controlled chakra, her heart beating fast with panic and worry.
She sped to a halt before the boys, and gasped with wide eyes when she saw the pool of blood in between them, mixing from their stumped arms.
"Sakura!" exclaimed Naruto, his tone mixed with surprise and relief. Sasuke was also looking at her with wide-eyed surprise, grunting breathlessly at the sight of her.
When looking at their bloody stumps, Sakura knelt before them. She wanted to cry, to hit them, to tell them what big idiots they were and that it served them right for getting their arms blown off for some insane duel...but she steeled herself and wordlessly sparked her healing chakra from both hands. One for Naruto and one for Sasuke.
"Thanks, Sakura!" said Naruto, smiling.
When a flash of pink and green had appeared in his blurry vision, her warm chakra presenting itself beforehand (making him previously believe that he was imagining things), and when Naruto croaked with newly mustered energy, "Sakura!," Sasuke gave a start. His heart started pounding and the stump of his left arm flared like fire. He watched in disbelief as Sakura slowly approached them, before kneeling down with tired sadness on her face.
She's here. She's really here.
Her face, though dirtied with sweat and bloodstains, her pink hair hanging lifelessly around her shoulders, despite sagging with pain and sorrow, seemed to glow. Her beautiful viridian eyes still carried a fire that lit their color with continued will and unbroken strength like the diamond seal on her forehead. She looked her worst, like she too had been through hell and back, but Sasuke had never seen anyone look more beautiful than Sakura did now. She honestly looked like an angel.
His angel.
There was no hatred in her eyes, but neither was she looking at him. Instead, she was looking at his and Naruto's blood stumps. Her eyes seemed to shine with unshed tears, but she bit her lip in resolve and spread both her palms over their blood stumps.
Cool green chakra flowed into their injuries, seeping through the flesh and bone as the mending energy became soothing to his nerves. He exhaled softly, feeling the pain slowly fade with relief, though he never took his eyes off of her. Her eyes were narrowed and her brow furrowed with concentration as she worked.
She was amazing.
"Sakura..." rasped Sasuke, watching her. "I..."
"Shut up!" said Sakura, still not looking at him. "I need to focus."
She hates me. Sasuke swallowed painfully and licked his bloodied lips as he studied her delicate features. She had every right to leave him here to rot away like the scum of the earth he was, and yet here she was, healing him with equal care as she did with Naruto. Maybe it was part of her medical duties, but even if she hated him now for all that he put her through, he knew that it was time that he stripped himself of his pride and start owing this kind, patient, and wonderful pink-haired young woman for her undeserved care...starting with an apology she might not accept.
"...I'm sorry," he whispered.
Sakura blinked, her healing chakra wavering slightly. "S-sorry?" she muttered. "For what?"
"For everything," Sasuke said softly, looking at her tiredly...desperately. "Sakura...I'm sorry for everything."
There was a long, painful silence. Sasuke's heart throbbed and his vision blurred. I knew it, he thought miserably. I brought this upon myself. But damn, it hurts. It really hurts.
But her response drew his attention back to her face.
"You better damn well be!" Sakura finally said between clenched teeth. Then her face scrunched up, the heavy tears that she had been holding back flowing from her eyes and running down her nose. "It's about freaking time, you jerk!" she wailed loudly.
Naruto started laughing at her intended insult, and Sasuke found himself smiling, his heart lifting slightly. He hated seeing her cry, knowing full well that he was the cause of her tears, but never thought he would also feel happy to see them. Somehow, instinct told him that it was a good sign.
When Sakura finally sealed their wounds and helped them sit up, Naruto was still laughing as she started rubbing away her tears happily, sniffling.
When she looked up and opened her eyes, they widened as she gave a startled gasp when pulled into a strong, one-armed embrace. Naruto stopped laughing and stared.
Sasuke was hugging her. Hugging her. Sasuke Uchiha was hugging her.
Sakura knelt there, frozen and with her mouth gaping with disbelief, staring out over the Uchiha's shoulder with her mind trying to process what was happening.
Sasuke had his bloodstained, tear-tracked cheek resting against her pink hair, his chin comfortably on her shoulder with his good arm slung around her body and pulling her tightly to his warm chest. His spiky black hair tickled her ears and his heart pounded against her chest, as though quickening with as much anxiety she felt. She could feel his body trembling and his hot breath steaming her shoulder. Through each slow, ragged breath, his lips moved ever so slightly in a motion that made her strain her hearing to hear his mouthed words.
They had even gotten a touch of volume that made her breath waver with further surprise.
"Forgive me...forgive me..." he kept saying with desperation in his voice.
Feeling great sorrow well in his chest, Sasuke had his eyes closed as he hugged Sakura close to him, not willing to let her go just yet. If this was going to be the last time he would ever be this close to her, he would not waste it. It was also the least he could do to provide what little comfort he could give her, to assure her that he did not hate her and that she meant more to him than she or anyone else ever knew...
"Forgive me..."
Sakura could not believe it. The cold, stoic, once-vengeful Sasuke Uchiha, the man she loved all her life and the man that always kept her at a distance, was reacting and saying the exact words that she had longed to hear for years. Once her mind finally processed what had happened, and what Sasuke was unconsciously pleading to her for, he finally blinked. Her tensed body then started to relax. After some hesitation, her arms slowly shifted and started to wrap around Sasuke's torso. Then they tightened, trembling.
"Oh, Sasuke!" sobbed Sakura, now hugging him back with such happiness and relief that filled her heart that she started gasping for breath. More tears ran down her cheeks as she rested her head on her shoulder. "I'm just...I'm just so glad you're okay."
Sasuke let out a small gasp when hearing her say that. He did not deserve her affection, her relief, her sweetness...but it was a great relief that he could feel it radiate from her like a living beacon. Her love. Though he could feel her hot tears wetting his shirt, he was glad that she would not see his own tears of relief running down his cheeks. He then smiled happily, relishing her warmth and sweet scent as he kept hugging her.
Thank you, Sakura.
When he opened his eyes, he found Naruto looking at them.
It's about time, you bastard, his look told him.
Shut up, you loser, Sasuke shot back with a glare.
The blond then gave them a wide, toothy grin, and Sasuke felt his smile return, while Sakura seemed to tighten her embrace happily.
It was all over. Team 7 was truly back to together now. Everything will change for the better.
.
.
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Sakura...
While that I am grateful that you, Naruto, and Kakashi have forgiven me, know that after my journey for redemption, I plan on spending the rest of my life making it up to you. You never stopped caring, so now I will return the favor...
...so I ask that you wait for me, be patient with me a while longer...because if not, then I will be the one to wait for you, however long it takes...
...because the truth is...
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.
Sakura felt two fingers tap the middle of her forehead where her diamond seal imprinted and looked in surprise to see Sasuke giving her a small smile as he poked her. A hint of that beautiful smile she first saw from the six year-old boy from all those years ago, the one she fell in love with.
The tips of his fingers radiated with warmth against her skin.
"I'll see you next time," Sasuke promised. After a moment of gazing her with dark eyes melting with clear affection, he added in a soft whisper, "Thank you..."
Sakura felt blush cross her cheeks, her heart soaring with hope as she smiled back.
She understood now.
.
.
.
....I love you, Sakura Haruno.
Thank you for everything.
There are three most difficult things to say in life, but for Sasuke Uchiha, there are four:
1) Thank you.
2) I'm sorry.
3) Help me.
4) I love you.
This is my guess. In which order (1=least and 4=hardest) do you believe is his least to hardest to say?
Now ends the sequel for "Thank You For Everything," if you hadn't read that yet. Whew! This was a brutally long one-shot, and just in time for New Years. Happy New Year's, everyone!
I hope you enjoyed this! It's my own version of the untold connection between Sasuke and Sakura in the final manga book.
*Masashi Kishimoto (Quote from Sasuke)
Please send some reviews!