A/N. Superhero AU. Yes. Hell yes. Hell flipping yes. Here is some stuff you need to know: Skaia is their city. The Felt and Midnight Crew steal stuff. And there are superheroes. I'll cover who's who from this chapter at the end. And yeah. I don't own Homestuck. If I did, well... no more gigapause, for one thing.

"Seriously, Slick? I didn't even need my powers to know that you'd be here today."

Fortune Teller stared at Spades Slick and the rest of his Midnight Crew from atop her impossible perch in the Skaia City Bank. It was rather fond of pillars, and she happened to be rather fond of sitting on them.

"Fortune Teller! Aw, shit," Boxcars cursed. Slick growled.

"Come on, lemme do my business and I'll be on my way! I won't even stab anyone!" Slick protested. Fortune Teller rolled her eyes.

"You and I both know that's a dirty lie," she retorted. Slick hissed.

Diamonds Droog sighed. "Fine, Fortune Teller," he said loudly. "We'll leave."

"What!?" Slick snapped. "No we won't!"

"Yes, we will," Droog insisted. "We'll go back to our hideout."

He backed up slowly.

Fortune Teller looked at him and raised an eyebrow. "I'm not going to leave until you're in your headquarters, and believe me I know when you are."

Deuce looked at Slick. "I think we should just go, then!" he chirped. "The girl's asking us to leave, so it's only polite if we do!"

"Screw manners!" Slick yelled at the short carapace. "This girl is a fucking menace! I don't even get meals some nights 'cause of her!"

Fortune Teller smirked. "Then that means I've done my job."

Droog tugged on the back of Slick's shirt. "Like I said, we should go."

Slick sighed and gave up.

Fortune Teller watched the four men leave. The bank tellers crawled out from behind the counters they'd waited behind for almost an hour.

"They won't be coming back," Fortune Teller announced to the workers. "Not for a while."

"Thank you!" one of the men below yelled.

"Just doing my job," Fortune Teller muttered and flew down to the ground. "Guess I'd better get home."

That she did. Rose Lalonde slept well that night.

"Good morning, Rose."

"Hello, Kanaya."

The two girls looked at each other. Rose raised her eyebrows. Kanaya smirked. Rose snorted, but tried to cover it up.

Kanaya laughed, and soon Rose was laughing too.

"What are you two broads laughing about?" Karkat asked. "I'm tired and I want to sleep, you aren't helping."

"Sorry, it's nothing," Kanaya answered. Karkat rolled his eyes and grumbled something unintelligible.

(But in reality, it wasn't nothing; Clover's face when he realized how unlucky it was to be up against both Fortune Teller and Stitch was not "nothing".)

"God damn Felt," Clockmaster cursed. "You can't abuse time travel!" Eggs turned his head to the side, wondering how anybody could think he and his friends were abusing time travel.

"I suppose they could," Ghost Maid mused from his side, "but we'd just kick their asses."

Temusume said something in Japanese; Clockmaster guessed it was in agreement.

Clockmaster grimaced as Eggs turned back his eggtimer. "Shit, he's gonna make copies." Ghost Maid groaned and surged forward, brandishing her whip.

She cracked the whip, using the maneuver to hit the eggtimer out of Eggs' hands. The leprechaun whined for a minute, but was stopped by a whip to the gut. Temusume casually dug her burning cigarette into his back, causing him to howl.

Both girls' forms glistened for a moment, and a future version of both of them appeared.

Future-Temusume frowned. She didn't look like she'd been saving the world, quite the opposite actually. She was dressed like a Japanese schoolgirl, for some reason. Future-Ghost Maid had been a little smarter and stayed in her superhero clothing.

"Well, I guess we better take this guy down," Future-Ghost Maid mumbled. The four girls pounced and made quick work of the man.

Clockmaster applauded. "Good job," he called to them. The future versions saluted and disappeared.

Clockmaster pulled out his sword. Crowbar casually swung his namesake around.

"Are you gonna fight or what?" Crowbar asked with a snarl.

"Hmm, yep," Clockmaster replied. "Just gimme a sec." Crowbar stared at the boy while a copy of the superhero appeared. Then another. A second- a third one? Three more versions appeared in little flashes of light.

"How am I supposed to fight seven versions of you?!" Crowbar yelled. Clockmaster grinned.

"That's the thing. You're not."

-little skip here-

"Come on!" Clockmaster yelled. All of his future copies had been killed by Crowbar. Who knew his brain was that color? How strange. Clockmaster was left with a broken arm and a very, very pissed Crowbar. The dude was bleeding from, like, everywhere and he still wouldn't go down.

"Seriously, dude, you really should learn not to mess with Crowbar."

Clockmaster groaned when he heard that voice. Ghost Maid and Temusume had run off to kick some other Felt ass, which had left Clockmaster alone and pretty close to being bashed in the skull. So of course, Brobot of all goddamn people decided to help the time-hopping hero out.

"The goddamn queer's here, fuck my life."

Brobot leapt forward, his right arm solidifying into metal. Crowbar swung his weapon, but Brobot interrupted its course with his armored arm.

"No more brons will be spilled today," Brobot informed the mobster.

"What the hell is a bron?" Crowbar asked skeptically as he tried to overpower the shades-clad superhero.

"Sorry, I made a pun. I meant brain."

"That was a horrible pun, you goddamn metalhead."

Long story short, Brobot beat the shit out of Crowbar. Then he punched Clockmaster in the face for even thinking about fighting the seventh member.

"What happened here?" Ghost Maid asked as the two girls came running back to Clockmaster. After a moment she noticed the six dead future Clockmasters. "I think we need to have a corpse party, that's a lot of innards..."

"Please no," Clockmaster groaned. "I'm bleeding, my arm is broken, my face is going to bruise, and I have to put up with him." Brobot shrugged with a smirk.

"I wouldn't mind having a corpse party," he said. "Someone needs to clean this mess up."

Temusume nodded. "Hai, hai," she mumbled.

Ghost Maid's face lit up like a child receiving an ice cream cone. "Corpse party!" she yelled ecstatically. "Oh, I can't wait!"

Dave Strider rolled his eyes. All he wanted to do was sleep, but no, the Felt had decided to be jerks that day and shake their plush rumps in Clockmaster's face.

So began the time vs. time showdown.

Bloody Knight glared at Wolf.

"Come on! You know perfectly well how much of a bitch Snowman is! We can take her!"

"You're just biased against her because your dad is hatedating her."

"No I'm not! She's terrible, you know that!"

"You're aren't making a very convincing argument, Karkitty."

"Not here, what are you thinking?!"

"I don't know, that it's a really stupid idea to try and take on the woman whose death can and will destroy the world?"

"Jaaade!"

"Karkat!"

"Can't you two get along?"

"SHUT THE HELL UP, JOHN."

Windy Kid was startled by the use of his real name, especially by his friend. "Bloody Knight! Somebody might find out my... secret identity!"

"The Midnight Crew already knows who you are," said hero retorted.

Windy Kid stumbled backward, holding his heart as if he'd been shot. "No, that- that can't be true!"

Karkat's face was deadpan. "Literally the first thing you said when you walked into my house for the first time was 'I am Windy Kid'." Wolf stifled a few giggles. Windy Kid glared at her.

"Seriously?"

"Yeah, John, seriously."

"Karkat, can we leave the Felt Manor now?" Wolf asked Bloody Knight, tugging on his sleeve. "Gives me the creeps."

"Oh shit! I forgot where we were!"

"Lady Luck?"

The teenage girl smiled down at the civilian. Her smile was of the evil grin sort.

"Yes, that's me. What of it?"

"Have... have you come to save us?" the man asked. Lady Luck tossed her black mane of hair.

"Not at all," she replied. "I just felt like beating somebody up."

The man stared at her, thinking desperately whether she was a hero or a villain. Lady Luck laughed.

"By somebody, I mean the Midnight Crew," she told him. "Hate those bastards."

The man let out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding.

I will write more, as I happen to feel kind of inspired. And just so you know, I am lame at plots so you will probably only see snapshots like this.

Who did we see this chapter, hmm?

Fortune Teller - Rose

Clockmaster - Dave

Brobot - Dirk

Ghost Maid - Aradia

Temusume - Damara

The Wolf - Jade

Bloody Knight - Karkat

Windy Kid - John

Lady Luck - Vriska

PS. This is because of Rubicksmaster. PPS. Half of the superhero names won't come from me, I'm warning you.

PPPS. Remember to leave a review on the way out.