It's Complicated

by Illidan the Half Demon

Why is it so hard to figure one's feelings out? A oneshot based off of a song written by Carolyn Dawn Johnson called Complicated.

It's… Complicated

Looking out her window, a young woman sighed. It was a beautiful day in Tokyo, but the young woman had decided to stay inside and study.

"I should be outside…" she said with a sigh.

Standing up, she stretched her body and glanced over at the mirror. Staring back at her was a young woman with black ebony hair that fell to her shoulder blades, chocolate colored eyes, and a curvy body. She had on a pink tank top and a pair of grey sweat pants.

Sighing once more, she heard someone approaching her room from the hall. There was a knock, and a voice asked "Kagome, would you like a snack?"

Smiling, Kagome opened her door, kindly saying "Thanks mom. All this catching up on school work really takes it out of me."

Her mom had short black hair, the same brown eyes, and a similar slim figure. She had on a yellow sweater with a purple and black striped shirt, and finally a light brown skirt that fell just below her knees. In her mom's hands was a tray with a soda and some pocky. Gently, Kagome took the tray for her mom.

"Alright dear, I'll leave you to your school work. If you need anything, don't hesitate to call for me."

Smiling back again, Kagome nodded and closed her door. Walking back to her bed, she set the tray down and settled down on it herself.

Softly sighing, she took a bite pocky and a drink of her soda. Looking out the window, her mind began to wander. "I wander what Inuyasha is doing."

Shaking her head, she sighed once more. "Why bother pondering that question?" she chided.

Deciding she needed some music, she stood up and turned on her stereo. Switching it to play a CD, she settled back down as the music began to play.

Realizing it was a country music CD she last had in, she sighed while the current song began to play. Bit by bit, it began speaking to her heart about how she truly felt.

I'm so scared that the way I feel,
Is written all over my face
When you walk into the room,
I wanna find a hiding place.
We used to laugh, we used to hug, the way that old friends do.
But now, a smile and a touch of your hand,
Just makes me come unglued.
Such a contridiction, do I lie or tell the truth.
Is it fact or fiction,
Oh the way I feel for you.

Smiling, she remembered the first time she met Inuyasha. "He was pinned to the Sacred Tree due to Kikyo's arrow. He looked so peaceful then. And later that day, I pulled out the arrow, releasing him."

Frowning, she remembered that he had tried to kill her then, but ignored it. Memories of a later day began to fill her mind, one of when he had transformed into a human for the first time.

"He was so weak that night, but yet, he seemed so at peace also. I remember he told me I smelled good, and that he liked my scent."

More memories of them being together flooded her. She remembered soon after the night he had transformed into a human for the first time in front of her, they had had another special moment. It was right before Kikyo had been reborn.

"He was sharing his feelings. I remember how shocked I was, at how he held my hand, and at how he looked at me. Of course, I freaked out and ran like a coward, but thinking back, I had felt so special then."

Pausing for a moment, she silently pondered what had happened. "It seems like every time we get close, one of us freaks out. I used to be so calm when I touched him, or he touched me, but the longer I knew him, the more his touch became so hard for me to resist."

So complicated, I'm so frustrated.
I wanna hold you close, I wanna push you away,
I wanna make you go, I wanna make you stay.
Should I say it.
Should I tell you how I feel.
Oh, I want you to know.
But then again I don't. It's so complicated.

Smiling at the song, she pondered why she felt the way she did sometimes. "Whenever I'm mad at him over Kikyo, I run away. But while I'm gone, I miss him so dearly. Why is it that I can't seem to ever get him out of my mind, no matter what he's done to me?"

Lightly chuckling, she silently said "It's true, I want him, then I don't. If I told him how I felt, would he tell me back? No, I don't want to ruin our friendship."

Oh..just when I think I'm under control.
I think I got a grip.
Another friend tells me that, I'm always on your lips.
They say I'm more than just a friend, they say I must be blind.
Well, I admit that I've seen you watch me from the corner of your eye.
Oh, It's so confusing. I wish you'd just confess.
But think of what I'd
be losin', if your answer isn't yes.

"It seems like no matter what I say or do, I'm always confused about him. Maybe I need to take the chance and ask, but again, do I want to ruin such a great relationship over this?"

Frowning, she then realized something else was in the equation. "Kikyo…" she mumbled.

"I know he still loves her, but yet I love him. Am I just being foolish and not reading the writing that is on the wall? No, I don't think so. I care so much for him. If I reject what my heart says, then it would tear me up."

So complicated I'm so frustrated,
I wanna hold you close, I wanna push you away,
I wanna make you go, I wanna make you stay.
Should I say it, should I tell you how I feel.
Oh I want you to know, but then again I don't, It's so complicated.

Standing up, Kagome glanced out the window at the day. She softly smiled as she stared at the Sacred Tree. Seeing it's swaying branches always helped her calm down.

Deciding to get some fresh air, she walked outside and sat down underneath of the massive tree. Leaning back against it, she softly smiled while closing her eyes, just enjoying the wind blowing against her.

"This is where me and Inuyasha first met. Where we've shared so many wonderful memories. Together, me and him have formed a friendship that can't be broken. But... can it go further than friendship? If I broach that subject to him, I don't know how he'd react."

In her mind, the last part of the song began to play on, making her think more and more about her faithful hanyou.

Oh, I hate it. 'Cuz I've waited.
So long for someone like you
Oh, what do I do.
Oh should I say it.
Should I tell you how I feel.
I want you to know, but then again I don't.
It's so complicated..
It's so complicated..
It's so complicated.
Ohh..

"If I never tell Inuyasha how I feel, will I truly be happy? No, I could never be happy if he didn't know how I truly felt about him."

Making up her mind, she softly smiled. "I have my answer. I have to tell him how I truly feel. If I don't, I'll hate myself forever for not finding out if he feels that way."

Opening her eyes, Kagome let out a small eep when she saw Inuyasha standing in front of her, looking longingly at her.

Standing up, she knocked the dirt off of her sweatpants and smiled, murmuring "Inuyasha…"

Smiling back at her, Inuyasha replied "Kagome… I came looking for you when I noticed you weren't in your room. Some song was playing in there."

"Did… did I leave that song playing!? Oh man, that's not good."

"Kagome, I think I get the message." he shakily said.

Seeing him staring into her eyes, she averted them to the ground. "I, uh…" she began, but was stopped by Inuyasha, who placed a finger over her lips.

Before she could figure out what was going on, Inuyasha quickly covered her lips, sealing them with a kiss. She responded back, putting all of her emotions into it.

Finally pulling back due to the lack of air, she wryly said "Well, that makes things less complicated."

"Indeed." Inuyasha responded, in full mock of Sesshomaru. Each laughed at the other and kissed once more, allowing the two to know that each truly did love one another.