Rating: R
Pairing: Severus/Ron and various others
Description: It's Dumbledore's birthday, and the celebration is going great...until they discover what the punch was spiked with. The Hogwart's staff has been exposed to a rare potion. There is no known cure, and it has some...interesting side effects.
Author's Notes: I've never written a fanfic with this main pairing before. Also, this whole cross-generation, middle-aged-guy-meets-teenager love affair thing is VERY new to me. Well, not that new, but that's a different story. ; ) So bear with me please, people, and let's have some fun with this!
Author's Notes: 'Ello all! This is may very first fanfiction--at least that I have submitted--so I am very nervous to see if anyone actually reads it. I do hope you all like it! I know I do! Teehee. Anyway, on with the show...

Sweet Sixteen--Chapter 1: Pretty Pink Bubbles

Crash. Bang. Shatter. Then a muttered "shit!"

"Sorry, Professor."

Severus gritted his teeth. "Don't worry about it, Mister Weasley."

"Oh, all right," George's voice regained it's earlier cheeriness. "Anyway, as I was saying, Fred and I just felt like popping over to say hello to our former teachers, is all. So—ouu! What's this?"

"Lemme see!" Fred dashed to George's side to help him examine the blue- and yellow-spotted plant on the shelf at the back of Severus' classroom.

Are these kids high or something? Severus silently asked himself. He waved his wand at the mess on the floor, immediately clearing away the broken glass and slimy, green goo. Another well-concocted potion gone to waste. Whatever they've been smoking, I think I'd like to try it. I could use a bit more joy in my life...

"Hey! Professor!"

Severus made an exasperated noise and returned his attention to the two boys. "What now?"

"What d'ya call this?" Fred held up a flask filled with a creamy, pink liquid—much like Pepto Bismol.

Damnit. It seemed that they had found their way into what was supposed to be his hidden cabinet—not to mention it was magically bolted with all the locking spells and charms known to man the last time he checked. Severus had to hand it to the Weasley twins; they sure knew all the tricks of the trade.

He snorted. "Forget it, boys. I know you two far too well. That is definitely not a potion you'd like to drink." He snatched the bottle out of Fred's hands.

They made twin faces and twin comments. "Fuck."

"Language, boys, language."

"What does it do anyway? Can't be that bad," George grumbled.

"Nothing you should concern yourself with. All I'll tell you is that it's rare, and has some...odd side effects, to say the least. Thankfully, it's not dangerous." He turned to place the bottle back in his cabinet when he heard shouts of "Fight! Fight!" from the corridor.

"Ah, Jesus. Excuse me." Severus passed by his desk on his way out the door and left the bottle in his wake.

As soon as Severus was out of sight, Fred smirked at George and nodded his head towards the potion. George matched his smirk and crept over to the desk, rubbing his hands together in an over-dramatically-evil fashion. The bottle was in his clutches and hidden safely inside his coat just in time for Severus to return, holding the collars of two Ravenclaw fourth-years.

Severus shoved both boys into adjoining seats, then stood before them with his arms crossed over his chest. "By now, I suspect you two know the routine by heart. No talking, no standing, and keep your hands to yourselves. You have one hour. Also, I'll be taking twenty points each from Ravenclaw. Now," he turned to Fred and George, "where were—

"Man, I've got the munchies!" Fred interrupted, speaking all in a rush. "Isn't it about time for dinner? I'm sure it is. Let's go eat!"

Yup, they're definitely high on something, Severus decided as he watched them bolt from the room. He adjourned to his desk and the pile of essays that required grading. Not once did he think of the missing potion for the remainder of the night. And when he finally did, it was too late.

Eight. That's what Severus' clock told him when he entered his classroom after supper. He had half an hour. Then he would have to join the rest of Hogwarts' staff in Dumbledore's office for what he was informed would be an all-night party. "What is Albus thinking?!" Severus cried, storming over the threshold to a door off in the upper right-hand corner. A muttered password, and the door swung open. "I mean, I know it's his birthday, but from previous experience, there's always a LOT of alcohol at his parties! And we have classes tomorrow! How the fuck are we supposed to teach with massive hangovers?!" He tore off his work robes and tossed them on the bed along with his wand. Random phrases concerning Dumbledore's responsibility level emitted from his mouth as Severus searched through his wardrobe, finally discovering the perfect clothes for the occasion.

He exited his private quarters in a huff, remembering, as always, to slam the door behind him. The corridors were empty except for a collection of stragglers. Severus reminded each of them about their curfew and sent the more intimate ones on their way.

His footsteps echoed off the walls as he ventured deeper into the castle. All was silent now. Until a large, wooden door swung open, smacking him square in the face.

"Ow! Goddamnit!" Severus held his throbbing nose until the colored spots disappeared from his eyes, then he pressed on to find out who the useless dolt (or dolts) was. "What the hell—

"I could walk you." The pair—yes, it was obvious to Severus now that there were two people in the doorway of the seemingly abandoned classroom—appeared oblivious to Severus' shout. Maybe they were too engrossed in their own conversation. Who knows? Anyway, the point was, Severus soon found himself doing something he hadn't done in the longest time—eavesdropping. He ducked behind the open door, holding his breath and hoping the students wouldn't notice him. He checked around the door once, but couldn't make out who they were in the dark. All he knew was that one of them was male due to the voice he had heard only seconds ago.

"No, I don't think we should go back together. If someone saw us, who knows what they'd come up with." Make that two males...Hold on just a tick! Two boys? In an abandoned classroom? In the middle of the night? Interesting.

Sigh. "You're right. I'll see you later, then?"

"Yeah. Bye." There was a brief pause where Severus peeked around the door again to see the shadowy outline of the two figures, only much closer together now. Indeed, as he had thought, they were sharing a goodnight kiss. Pretty long one, in fact. But, eventually, the boys managed to pry themselves away from each other. One wandered off down the hall in what seemed to be an alternate direction to the Slytherin dormitories while the other lingered. With a romantic sigh, the boy closed the classroom door to reveal Severus, who hadn't had time to escape.

"P-professor?" the boy exclaimed. Now that Severus actually heard his voice without the door to muffle it somewhat, he realized who it was before he even saw him. Ronald Weasley.

Severus spun around, a smug smile spread over his lips. "Mister Weasley, fancy meeting you here," he said casually.

"Professor, I can explain—

"I never pictured you as a queer," Severus continued, his tone turning cocky.

"Oh. That." Ron's cheeks became rosy to match his hair.

"And with a Slytherin, no doubt. My, my, you are a man of many mysteries."

"H-how did you know he was a Slytherin?" Ron stuttered, still in a slight state of shock.

"I know every hallway leading to the Slytherin common room, and I happen to know that the other boy was heading down one of those particular hallways. Though, sadly, I couldn't tell who they were. So, who was it, Mister Weasley? I tend to enjoy keeping a mental record on the habits of the students in my house."

Ron's expression turned sour. "None of your business."

Severus raised an eyebrow. "Excuse me? I didn't quite catch that."

Ron made a frustrated noise, and, rolling his eyes, looked at his feet. He mumbled a name that was just loud enough for Severus to hear it.

"Many thanks. Goodnight." Severus trotted down the hall, wondering why a strapping, noble young man like Draco Malfoy would fool around with a Weasley.

"Severus, you're late!"

Now how was that possible? His clock had read about eight when he had left, and it couldn't have taken him more than ten minutes or so to get to Dumbledore's office. Oh well. No matter. The point was he was there.

"Yes, terribly sorry about that, Albus." Severus strode over to where Dumbledore stood by a long table in place of his desk. This table was bedecked with numerous wine and shot glasses and every brand of booze known in the wizarding world.

"Drink?" Dumbledore offered him a glass of some gold-colored liquid—whatever the hell it was. And Severus wasn't about to turn it down.

With a quick "thanks," Severus took the drink and hurried off to the far side of the room. He leaned against the wall and sipped the alcohol, which tasted surprisingly sweet. Many conversations were scattered around, and the room was full to bursting. After scanning the crowd, Severus was pleased to see Remus Lupin among them. It was even more pleasing for him when Remus joined him with a smile.

"Long time no see," Remus greeted cheerfully.

"It's a pleasure to see, and be seen," Severus said, moving closer to Remus. "What are you doing here, anyway?"

"I'm a friend of Dumbledore's, of course, or have you forgotten?"

Severus snorted, shaking his head. "No, my memory is intact. Perhaps a little too intact, if you get my drift." He winked, which drew drunken giggles from the other man. It was more than obvious that Remus had been here for awhile, and had probably already swallowed his weight in booze.

"If you're trying to get laid, then you're barkin' up the wrong tree, friend," Remus replied, his words slurring.

"As I recall, you were usually the one coming to me for sex, so I thought I'd turn the tables."

Remus swayed a little, but Severus wrapped an arm around his shoulders to stabilize him. "I only did that because you were such a bloody good shag." Their conversation continued on for the remainder of the party, though after awhile they were joined by the rest of the guests. Nobody seemed to notice the strange pink bubbles floating in their drinks.

Hours and bottles of fire whiskey later, Severus staggered into his private bathroom. The mirror suspended above the sink showed a face that, though he'd been seeing it for years now, appeared supernatural to him. A crooked nose; wrinkled, sagging skin, off-white in color; a shapeless mouth; piercing black eyes; neck-length black hair as greasy as it gets. But tonight he added another feature—a goofy grin from his drunken state. It only made things worse.

Severus attempted brushing his teeth, but found that he was far too drowsy. So, instead, he stumbled back into his bedroom and collapsed onto his pillow. He was sleep before his body even reached the bed.

Morning brought a throbbing headache. Groaning, Severus managed to climb out of bed and drag his feet into the bathroom. The first thing he noticed was that, for some odd reason, he seemed...shorter. Though he dismissed the idea as ludicrous—merely the delusion of a man with a hangover.

But he could no longer ignore it when he finally looked in the mirror. His toothbrush fell from his hand, clattering upon the rim of the sink. Before him was a face he hadn't seen in the longest time. A button (and often referred to as "cute") nose; firm, smooth skin, tanned from the summer sun; full, rosy lips used for snogging only the hottest guys; drooping lids over black eyes that you could loose yourself in; shiny, raven hair (looking newly-washed, mind you) that flowed past his shoulders. For once in many years, Severus was handsome. Maybe even sexy. And it scared him shitless.

"How the hell?" Then he remembered. The missing potion, and the pretty pink bubbles in his booze...

Severus' bewilderment turned to rage, and he screamed for all the school to hear: "WEEEAAASSSLLLEEEYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Author's Notes: Dun dun dun! Teehee. Couldn't resist. I hope y'all liked it and that I'll see you at the next chapter! And, I don't wish to seem like I'm begging but...please, please, PLEASE review this!!!! Ahem...anyway...