Intro to Conventional Romanticism
A Blunt Dagger fanfic- Jeff W, Annie E.
Set after the events of s4 e3, includes direct excerpt from a deleted scene.
A tall dark-haired man walked up to the barkeep at the hotel bar. The barkeep was wiping the inside of glasses with a white cloth.
"Can I get a single-malt scotch neat and…." the man paused and shook his head "… an appletini".
The bald barkeep smiled at him and nodded.
"That's you wife over there?" He asked. "She's very beautiful".
"No, no she's-" the man paused again, "Yeah. She is".
The barkeep began pouring the scotch and said: "Hey, anyone ever tell you that you look like Thoraxis?"
The barkeep grinned at the man.
"Piss off!" Said the man, in the most British accent he could muster.
"BOW BEFORE THORAXIS!"
Jeff ripped open his shirt as a shower of buttons clattered to the floor. A hundred convention nerds hit the floor in an instant as Jeff, with his arms apart and knees bent, surveyed the subjects before him.
The study group had mixed reactions: Britta, Troy and Abed looked in delight and utter amusement, as they snapped away with their cellphones; Pierce dropped to the floor and bowed along with the mass of Thoraxis-worshippers; Shirley looked unimpressed and raised her eyebrows; Annie stared with her eyes wide as circles as a look of shock and disbelief swept across her face.
Jeff straightened his back and dropped his arms. A satisfied smile spread across his face as he walked off the platform and a crowd of nerds flocked around him. Jeff pushed them away with little effort.
"Okay, okay, I'll sign autographs later, now scram!" Jeff said.
The nerds scuttled off, and Troy walked up and patted him on the shoulder.
"Jeff that was dope man, I can't believe you did that!" said Troy, grinning.
Abed piped up, "Jeff, are you sure you're not related to Nigel Cuthbertson? He could be your twin brother who lives with your father all the way in England. Like the Parent Trap! Does your father design wedding dresses?"
Jeff raised his eyebrows and replied "I think I'd know if I had a twin brother Abed".
"Tell that to Lindsay Lohan's two characters in the movie" said Abed.
Pierce walked up to Jeff and grabbed his hand, shaking it vigorously.
"Well done Jeff! No better way to tell the world you're gay than to expose your naked body to a room full of sexually frustrated Inspector Warptimers!"
"Uh Pierce, I think we should get going home now, It's getting late" said Shirley. She grabbed Pierce by the arm and steered him away, turning her head back to Jeff and shaking her head at Pierce's comment.
Troy turned to Abed, and said, "Abed, we better get going too. We don't wanna be late", and pointed his thumb behind him.
Abed cocked his head to the side and nodded.
"Late?" said Annie, who appeared by Jeff's side.
"Troy and I are going to watch the preview of the new Inspector Spacetime season" Abed explained.
"Well you two have fun" said Jeff, pulling his shirt together to cover his exposed abs. "I'll be in my room drinking scotch and watching sports".
"You're staying now?" asked Annie, turning to face Jeff, her brow wrinkling slightly in confusion.
"Yeah might as well" Jeff answered. "It's a bit late to drive home now. Plus if we're lucky, the slopes might be open tomorrow, and we can go skiing early tomorrow morning before we leave".
Annie beamed at him.
It was around 8pm and Jeff flicked through the channels on the television in his hotel room. He lounged back on the plush three-seater beige couch, with his boots up on the coffee table as he balanced a half empty tumbler of whiskey on his thigh. Jeff finally settled on a screening of Mary Poppins, which was about half way through from what he could guess.
Knock knock knock.
A series of soft raps could be heard coming from the door. He paused, waiting for the call of "room service!" for the second scotch he had ordered. There was silence, so he presumed it must be someone else. Maybe that fit brunette in the black dress from earlier had changed her mind about him.
Knock knock knock.
The knocking resumed itself and was slightly more forceful this time, so Jeff placed both the remote and the tumbler of scotch on the coffee table, before getting up and striding across the room. As he opened the door, he faced with a very different brunette from the tall slim one earlier.
"Annie?"
"Jeff." The small blue-eyed girl stood in the doorway with a small smile across her face.
"You didn't go with Troy and Abed then?" Jeff asked, leaning against the doorway.
"I decided against it" she replied.
"And you're here because…"
"Jeff!" she cried indignantly, and slapped him lightly across the arm as he grinned cheekily at her. "Don't be rude. It's boring watching TV by myself. Can I come in and watch with you? I'll suffer through sports".
"Well I'm-" Jeff started.
"Thanks Jeff!" She smiled radiantly at him and pushed past him through the doorway.
"I think I'm going to regret this" thought Jeff, but as she turned to look at him with those big blue eyes his resolve melted.
"Oh to hell with it" he thought, and slammed the door.
"I didn't know you were such a fan of musicals Jeff" giggled Annie. Jeff and Annie were sitting on either side of the couch, and she leaned across and poked him in the arm.
"Hey Mary Poppins is a classic!" he countered, scowling at her. A crease appeared in his forehead as she giggled even harder.
The atmosphere in the room was pleasant. Jeff and Annie had a good time watching the last bit of Mary Poppins together, laughing at how cheesy it was. Jeff had dimmed the lights, and each of them had ordered more than a few drinks, which insured that conversation was light and easy. He took a sip of whiskey and as he glanced over at Annie, free and bubbly, he felt his body heat began to rise. On the other side of the couch, Jeff could see Annie's face was flushed; her full lips that now looked even fuller were a deep plum colour. She had pulled the pin out of her hair earlier, letting the strands fall loosely around her face, and her eyes had definitely darkened. Annie took a sip of her own drink, and as she leant forward to place it back on the table, Jeff caught sight of her cleavage, also looking flushed and… ample. Annie ran a slowly finger over her bottom lip, collecting the moisture that remained and sucked it off her finger.
Jeff wasn't sure if she was doing it intentionally or unintentionally, but either way resistance was becoming difficult. He could feel his pants tightening by the second and his heartbeat rapidly increasing in tempo.
Jeff coughed loudly and said "So, what do you want to watch next? Ladies choice".
Time seemed to fly by in an instant, and a very tipsy Jeff glanced at his watch to see it was already around 11 30 pm. The conversation between the two people on the couch had gotten louder and more animated as the number of empty drink glasses on the coffee table steadily increased. Jeff and Annie had inched been inching closer to each other as the evening went on, and Jeff noticed, whilst stealing a glance at Annie's chest, that she was no more than a foot away from him.
"Hey Jeff are you hungry? I'm thinking about ordering something from room service" Annie asked, frowning as she rubbed her hands over her stomach.
"Nah I'm fine thanks. I'm all full up after that turkey burger I ate earlier".
A devilish grin spread across Jeff's face and he started to chuckle as Annie's mouth dropped open and she stared at him wide-eyed. Annie gave an indignant squeak and in a flash Annie picked up a pillow off the couch and leapt toward him, whacking him repeatedly over the head as he rolled around the couch in laughter.
"Hmph, fine then!" Annie tried one last hit which Jeff deflected with one muscled arm, before giving up and slumping down back down on the opposite side of the couch, folding her arms and glaring at the television screen.
"God she's adorable" Jeff thought, as he watched her sulk in the farthest corner of the couch.
"Am I in trouble?" Jeff asked, still grinning.
Annie ignored him and continued to bore holes through the television with her fiery gaze.
Jeff got up and went to sit next to her.
"I'm just playing with you", and said gently, his eyes fixated on hers.
Annie's face softened and she turned her head to look into his eyes in return.
"I know you are Jeff. I just feel silly for pretending we were married. It's pretty childish".
Jeff paused for a second and took a deep breath.
"You're not- you're not a child Annie" echoing his words from times past.
"I have a confession to make" he said, tearing his gaze away from hers.
Annie's expression changed again as she peered at him curiously.
Jeff exhaled loudly and took another deep breath.
"Earlier when I went to the bar to get you that awful appletini, the bartender called you my wife and said you were beautiful. I, uh- I didn't correct him…" Jeff said, flushing slightly in embarrassment.
Annie was silent for a second before asking, "You didn't correct him that we're married or that I'm beautiful?"
Jeff paused for a second, and turned his head slowly back around to face her.
"Both" he admitted finally. His eyes searched her face, desperate to read her expression.
Jeff's heart was beating wildly as he waited for her response, but she said nothing.
After what felt like an eternity, Annie lifted her hand up and took his, which was resting on the couch between them.
"Okay" she said simply.
Jeff frowned.
"Okay?" he asked, unsure of what to make of this situation.
"Okay" she repeated, and nodded her head once.
Jeff found himself gazing at her full lips, both miles and mere inches away from his. He could feel that Annie was gently leaning towards him, as her shoulder began pressing up against his. His heart seemed to be working overtime; pounding against his chest, sending a steady wave of heat up to his face as the beautiful brunettes body inched closer to his.
All logic and reason seemed to exit Jeff's brain in that moment, as he lifted his left hand up to gently cup Annie's cheek, and feel the softness of her ivory skin against his palm. Annie's eyes fluttered closed as she let out a soft sigh, the warmth of her breath brushing over the sensitive nerves on the underside of Jeff's wrist. Jeff's heart rate just about doubled, as this small gesture sent a rush of goosebumps from the back of his neck all the way down to his toes.
And then he kissed her.
Jeff pulled Annie toward him and captured her lips fiercely, holding her tight against his body as he kissed her with all the repressed passion and desire that had built up over the past four years. The kiss was intense and full of heat, yet tender at the same time, as only a kiss with Annie could be. Annie melted into him, as his tongue sought hers, and her hands clawed their way down his back with a need and desperation that he had never seen in Annie before, or certainly experienced. After a minute or two of furious kissing, of teeth and tongues and shallow breathing and tight caresses, Jeff finally pulled away.
Jeff felt as if he had just run a marathon; his breath came quickly as his heart threatened to pound its way out of his chest, unbutton his shirt and hop out the door. If Jeff was red before, he was redder now.
Annie was another story entirely; her skin flushed and her lips bruised, she looked thoroughly ravaged. Annie took in a deep breath, then exhaled sharply. She leant forward to grab the remote, smiled at him with a somewhat embarrassed smile and said,
"So what are we watching next?"
Jeff woke with start as he heard a loud neeeeeeeeeeow CRASH!
Looking around wildly, he realised the startling sound came from the direction of the television, where some race car had gone crashing into the side of a racing track.
Jeff yawned and blinked a few times. He tried to reach for the remote to change the channel, but felt his arm was numb. Looking down he saw the small frame of Annie Edison curled up against him on the couch. Jeff was a bit taken aback. Unsure of what to do, he just stared at her for a little while.
Annie's head was resting on his shoulder, the front of her forehead just touching his chest. Her beautiful face was completely still, not screwed up in concentration as he normally saw her, paging through a book or scribbling furiously. Her lips slightly parted, he could feel her warm breath against his shirt, as she breathed deeply in her sleep. Her right arm lay on her lap, the tips of her delicate fingers just touching his side. Jeff was speechless; the silent beauty of a girl he'd known for years, a girl he'd dismissed for so long. Jeff felt a warmth spreading through him, reaching all the way to his core. This new sensation made him curious, and he decided to investigate.
Annie's dark brown hair pooled like silk over her shoulders; with his left hand Jeff reached down gently to sweep a curtain of hair off her face and tuck it behind her ear. He froze and held his breath, hoping she wouldn't wake up. When Annie didn't respond, tentatively he cupped the side of her face in his hand and gently stroked her cheek bone. Annie shifted slightly in her sleep and let out a soft moan, nuzzling her face against his hand.
Jeff pulled his hand away and sighed deeply. Deciding that it was time to call it a night, he would move Annie to the bed and sleep on the couch himself. Jeff shifted his weight and began to get up slowly, but as he stood up he felt a hand grab his own. Jeff turned back, to see Annie starting at him, holding his hand, pulling him back, silently beckoning him. Annie didn't say a word. She didn't have to.