"Almost," the teacher said as she handed back my test.
"Almost," my sister said when she told me to guess where I would be at winter break. I had guessed home.
"Almost," my father said when I asked him if he was proud of me.
"Almost," Sam said when I asked her if she thought I was good enough to date her.
"Almost," Jeremie said when I asked if I was trusted with the supercomputer now.
"Almost," my mother said when I asked if she loved me as much as she loved my sisters.
"Almost," I said to myself late at night when no one was listening.
"Almost," the man said when I asked if I did well on my audition.
"Almost," Ulrich said when I missed one of the krabs and hit Yumi in the shoulder.
"Almost," principal Delmas said when I asked if I was passing my classes.
"Almost," I whispered to myself as I hunched over the rope.
"Almost," Yumi said when I asked if she liked me.
"Almost," Ulrich said to the same thing.
"Almost," Aelita said.
"Almost," Jeremie said.
"Almost," my older sister said when she told me to guess where I would be on summer vacation. I had guessed home.
"Almost," I said to myself as I hung the rope on the ceiling.
"Almost," Aelita said when I asked if she like liked me.
"Almost," Sam said.
"Almost," Sissi said.
"Almost," William said when I asked if he thought I was a good friend.
"Almost," Yumi said.
"Almost," Ulrich said.
"Almost," Jeremie said.
"Almost," Aelita said.
"Almost," my father said when he told me to guess what happened. I guessed that he was proud of me.
"Almost," XANA said as I failed to defeat one of his polymorphic specters.
"Almost," I said as I pinned the note to my chest.
"Almost," Milly said when I asked if I was good interviewing material.
"Almost," they say. "Almost, almost, almost."
I pop the CD into my Walkman. "I had a bad day" and "Kill me now" start playing on an endless loop. How appropriate.
I adjust my tie. Smooth down my hair. My sisters said it almost made me look presentable. I write, "life was almost enough" on the note card that I tuck between the noose and my neck. To anyone not looking, it would look like crazy little Odd, almost normal, almost tall was just swinging on the ceiling listening to headphones. Until they looked.
Some people would almost grieve. Some people would almost notice.
But almost everyone would remember the note. The one that told of all the almosts in my life. The one that told of my almost life.
I adjust my tie one more time. Look down at my bleak, funeral outfit, one with no purple. I stand up on the chair and tighten the noose.
Then I kick. And I almost scream.