She'll be alone when I leave her
I like it better that way
I'm on my own when I need her
Cause they could dead her that way
He stared out the window as he watched the white haired boy walk down the street. Shoulders hunched as he took morning after walk of shame. Sure he could've dropped the boy home but he didn't feel like driving. Besides this was payback. He needed him last week and he wasn't there. He had probably locked himself in his apartment and did drugs and not care about the world. Kanda sighed deeply before he turned away from the window and walked to his bathroom.
She's addicted to the heroin
Lighter than a feather that day
But I kind of like the morphine
Triple x double bottle, lean codeine
Really, who was he to judge? He was almost always high. Maybe not high off heroin like his companion but he still did drugs. He finished up in the shower and changed into grey sweatpants and a comfy blue sweater (ain't that sexy). Almost like clockwork he ate his bowl of cereal as he read the newspapers online. After, he sat staring at the screen like it stole his boyfriend.
"Yo, Kanda, it isn't that serious. You need to chill, I know writer's block is a bitch but no need to glare at your computer," an annoying voice said setting a bottle on the table. Kanda stared at the bottle blankly before picking it up. He shook two into his palm and placed them on the table. He passed the bottle to his friend who was still chattering away happily.
"Would you just shut the hell up, Lavi," he said looking for a piece of scrap paper.
Kanda ripped it in half and handed a now quiet Lavi a piece. He put his pills on the paper and folded it. He used his empty glass to crush his pills then using one of his credit cards he scraped the contents of it into a straight line. "You have any cash?" he asked his friend.
"Yea hold on, Yuu," Lavi said as he took out his wallet. He pulled out two hundred dollar bills and gave Kanda one.
"Would you stop calling me that," Kanda snapped as he rolled the bill. Quickly, he used it to snort up his morphine line. He sat back in his chair and waited for his high to come. After a few minutes he felt a bit nauseous. It always happened but it was worth the high. "Lavi, you got any weed?" He slurred.
"Yeah," Lavi said reaching into his bag. He pulled out a rolled joint and gave it to his best friend. Kanda basically tore up his living room looking for a lighter.
Finally he found one, lit up and smoked his joint in peace.
"Inspired yet?" Lavi asked as he stared at Kanda. Kanda just nodded his head as he began to type. He took the last drag of his blunt and finished off the chapter. He continued to write and soon after Lavi left and he was coming down. He looked at the clock – 4:35 p.m. too early to call up his 'friend'. He stood up, stretched and decided to take a nap.
What you want?
I'm that motherfucker
Baby, I'm that motherfucker
What you on?
Nothing like them other suckers
Nothing like them other suckers
"I should have just stayed here. I swear you always do this Kanda and you hate when I don't come over. You don't own me you know!" the shrill voice screamed. Kanda looked at the boy standing in his doorway.
"Two things; get your ass in here and close the door you're making a scene and two, quit bitching you're already here," Kanda said as he got up from the couch. The boy did as he was told and walked over to Kanda.
"Would it kill you to be nice to me?" he asked pouting.
"Dead that shit, Allen. Pouting doesn't work on me and yes it probably would," Kanda said before he started kissing the younger male.
Allen pushed against Kanda. "I hate you," he spat as he glared at the older male.
"What's new?" Kanda asked sucking on the boy's neck as he tugged on his shirt. Conversation ceased as the two battled for dominance and stripped each other.
Mrs. Lucille
Come and touch me
Let me know that you're real
Because if you're fake
I got to get away
Punch you in the fucking face
Allen ran his hands through his companion's hair. Secretly, he loved those locks but he'd never admit that to the arrogant man next to him. "Are you staying?" said man asked.
"Not sure yet," Allen replied before he kissed his 'lover'.
Should have known from the start
What we got can't leave this room
And I ain't playing with your heart
It's just a habit to let bitches know the truth
I made it clear to the world
Ain't nobody gonna be that somebody
I made it clear to the world
Ain't nobody gonna be that somebody
"What are we, Kanda?" Allen asked as he dressed himself. Kanda stared and him and shrugged his shoulders. He didn't want to think about it. He hated labels and he definitely didn't want to label this.
"I don't know, Moyashi," he said as he lay in his bed.
'Of course you don't, Kanda. You never know!" Allen said getting worked up. Kanda looked at him like he was crazy.
"Look, all I know is that I don't want to label this ok. Besides nobody should know about this anyway," Kanda retorted as he dressed himself.
I do it all to stay warm
I do it all to get by
I do it all for a home
For a night
But, baby
I won't keep ya
Just know that
I'mma leave ya
"Why do you always play me like this?" Allen cried as he hugged himself. Kanda sighed before he pulled Allen to his chest. "Chill out. I've never really been with anybody so don't feel bad. If it hurts this much, feel free to call up my exes and bitch about me with them. All I know is that I want you without the labels. If you can't deal then leave," Kanda said slacking his embrace.
So, fuck me right
Baby, fuck me right
Until I'm too tired to leave ya
And we can
Call this your night
Wipe those tears from your eyes
Allen looked as if he'd seen a ghost. Was Kanda really telling him he didn't mind if he left? He knew he wanted Kanda and he was about to leave so he dried his eyes and tiptoed to kiss him.
"Want a drink?" Kanda asked as he broke the kiss. "Sure," Allen said as he went to sit in the living room. This was how it always went. Kanda never wanted to talk ever. After pouring their drinks and handing Allen his, Kanda put his black glasses on and sat next to Allen on the couch with a sketch pad in his hands.
Cause, baby it's alright
Baby it's alright
I got a bottle of the 'Tron
In my brand new coat
If you want to take a sip
To forget what we did
"What are you doing, Kanda?" Allen asked as he sipped his drink.
"Drawing you so quit moving," Kanda replied as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. Then fell into a comfortable silence. The only thing that broke it was the sound of Kanda's piece of charcoal as it scratched against the paper. After a few minutes he shoved it in Allen's hands. He stood up and went to his room.
Girl, I've done this before
I get faded all alone
'Til my body gets thin
To forget all my sins
Tears spilled from Allen's eyes as he stared at his portrait. This was Kanda's way of saying he wanted Allen to stay. The little quote from The Weeknd at the side said it all "Happiness is bliss, when you don't know a thing –The Weeknd" and under it 'So I hope you don't think what I said is about you and only I will know how close you came to breaking me – Yuu Kanda" he rushed to Kanda's room and hugged the man. Kanda was surprised at first but he returned the hug.
"I just think it's time I admit something but I'm still not labeling this," Kanda said when the broke apart.
"I don't care, it's about time you stopped getting high by yourself and Lavi doesn't count," Allen said smiling. Kanda rolled his eyes and eyed his skinny companion. Honestly, they were just a bunch of junkies, clearly high off different things but it didn't matter. They kissed again and Kanda thought, "Might as well seeing that I do it forget my sins and he's the reason I sin.'
A/N: how was that? My first gay fic with drugs. I think it turned out well but that's up to you lovelies to decide isn't it? The song used was "Nomads" by Ricky/ Rich Hill ft The Weeknd and the quote on Allen's portrait is from "Montreal" by The Weeknd. I honestly have no idea when I'll post again though so keep hoping I do.
-ShauneeX'O