A/N: I was originally planning to make this James/Lily...but sorry to J/L fans, my Remus/Lily addiction took over. Weird ending I know. But God, how I love these two......Thanks in advance for reading! R&R plz
Disclaimer: HP isn't mine, neither are the characters.
Seventeen, he thought, so young, so old.
The war, he thought, sometimes made it seem like a miracle that he lived to be this old. People were fighting. Children were fighting. His age. Her age.
With his eyes closed, lying on the grass, hearing her calm breathing, wondering, wondering...wondering what?
Wondering what she is wondering...because she wonders too often.
"You're worrying again," he remarked in a low voice, "aren't you?"
"No Remus, not worrying."
"Then what?"
"Just wondering..."
Always wondering...always...why Lily? What's the use? You can't change things by wondering about them.
"What are you thinking about Lily Evans?" he whispered in a husky voice, afraid to disturb the silence around him, afraid to scatter the beautiful sky that was painted gold and amethyst, ruby and rose, painted by the heavens. It made one believe that maybe there was hope after all.
"I'll tell you," she said softly.
He turned his head a little to look at her as she spoke. She was sitting up, a little shadowy because the sky was darkening...the day was breaking, falling, dying, and calling upon the night slowly, very slowly.
"I am wondering what will happen to us after Hogwarts. The year is almost ending Remus. I can't stop thinking about it."
Lily, my Lily, he wanted to say, you can't change whatever will happen as much as you'd like to. You can dream and wish and hope and pray but we will be what we are destined to be, go where we are destined to go...
"The war, Remus."
"We will die how we are destined to die." He did not look at her.
Sighing, she said, "That's not what I wanted to hear."
Sitting up to match her pose, he spoke close to her hair. "I'm sorry."
Surprisingly, she did not react at all.
"You think it'll ever be over?"
Look at the sky, he wanted to say, there are things out there more powerful than the dark arts, death eaters, and dark lords.
Instead, he covered her hand with his, and felt her fingers grasp his from underneath.
"Someday..." he trailed off, staring now into the heartbreakingly scarlet horizon of the setting sun. Someday, he thought, it will all be over, and we will live without doubt, live without fear. Someday, I want to say, me and you...I will not stop falling in love with you and you will be mine...someday...I will take you away, put a ring around your finger, marry you...
Someday, I will kiss you while you blush and laugh or cry, and hold you, and someday we will have children who will inherit your joy and beauty...
Someday oh someday, I will wake up beside you and kiss your greying hair, hold you close to my heart and love you just as much as, if not more, than I did years ago...and someday we will sit there, old and grey, and laugh about what fools we were—we are right now. And someday, Lily Evans, I will die with you.
He turned to look at her: beautiful, simple, afraid. A strand of her red hair brushed against his face, and he wanted to do something, anything, because sometimes words were not anything, words could not communicate.
She looked at him now, her face very close, voice very gentle, "Remus..." she smiled sadly.
The sadness in her smile filled him, flooded him, made him fall for her deeper—or rather fall into the depths of her—again...over and over again. But he did not want to hear more words, so he removed his hand from hers and placed a finger on her lips, gingerly kissing her forehead.
Someday...