I have a lot of feelings about Ishimaru and forcing other people to have feelings too is my way of coping.
Admittedly I've never written Dangan Ronpa fanfiction before this, so my apologizes if either Ishimaru or Naegi is OOC.
Enjoy!
~Chaos
The Rule of Despair
He'd screamed.
Screamed, and screamed, and screamed, screamed until he was hoarse and his throat felt as though it were bleeding.
After that, he had fallen silent.
He stayed right where he was, crumbled, even as the rest of his companions began to shuffle away. He might have stayed there all night, if not for Naegi gently taking him by the arm and easing him up. He didn't lean into the smaller student, didn't even look at him. Just stared ahead, eyes unfocused and unseeing. His breathing was off, and when Naegi pulled him forward he followed with stumbling steps.
He was reliving the past half-hour over and over and over in his mind. The trial, the stabbing sensation of betrayal and fury as Mondo was exposed, and Mondo's execution…his calm, almost accepting stance was worse, far worse than Leon's panic and pleading. His stomach churned and he wanted to be sick. It took a superhuman effort to swallow back the bile in his throat. Suddenly he stumbled, nearly dragging Naegi down to the floor with him.
Mondo was gone, and once more Ishimaru was alone.
Revelation brought the bile back tenfold. Again Ishimaru nearly crumpled under the pressure of Mondo's betrayal. That sense of betrayal was followed by a hot flash of fury. If Mondo had just kept his temper in check—if he had just swallowed his pride and walked out of the room—if Mondo had given a thought, just one thought, to his so-called 'brother'—
He slumped to the ground, ignoring Naegi's yelp of surprise. He brought his knees to his chin, staring straight ahead. Tears trickled unchecked down his cheeks.
He felt Naegi ease to the ground beside him. Naegi didn't say a word, however—just copied his stance, looking Ishimaru over with a searching gaze.
The anger faded, replaced over a sensation of crushing numbness. Ishimaru began to shake, teeth chattering. His entire body ached, every movement stiff and painful.
His brother was gone. Gone, gone, gone—his brother was dead. He hadn't done enough to stave off the execution. He should have offered himself forth instead, he should taken Mondo by the hand and bolted, he should have done something—he should have done anything—but no, all he had done was froze, froze like a fool while Mondo was dragged off, and when he had finally come back to his senses it was too late—
"I-Ishimaru!"
Naegi's panicked voice cut through the haze around his mind. Ishimaru's head shot up and he let out the huge breath he didn't realize he'd been holding in. Breathing hard and fast, he looked to Naegi with wild eyes.
Naegi looked back him, eyes bright with tears. "I…I'm sorry," he murmured, bowing his head slightly.
Ishimaru stared at him, unsure of what to do or say—or if he even had strength enough left to reply. That bilious anger boiled in his stomach again, but it died before he could do anything rash. Naegi and Kirigiri did what he would have done under any other circumstance—what he had been doing, right up until Mondo slipped.
Dimly, he thought back to Maizono. She and Naegi had known each, had been close, unusually close given the circumstances. He wondered if they had loved each other. How had Naegi not given into despair upon finding her dead? How had he fought the urge to curl up into a ball and forget the world?
Naegi offered him a small, comforting smile. "I don't think Oowada would want you to give up."
Something clicked in Ishimaru's mind and a few more stray tears trailed down his face. Naegi had fought back despair because he had hope. Hope that they could work together, hope that they could still make it out somehow, all ten of them.
Mondo had had hope too, he recalled. Hope for the future, hope of keeping his gang together.
Well, in this twisted school the rules called for despair.
And Ishimaru had always been good at following the rules.