Heyyyyyyyyy.

So my beta/biffle, PrincessPanda93, and I are writing a collaboration. I will tell you now that it is a crack!fic. It doesn't have any slash ships in it; it is simply our interpretation of how Team Klaine (a.k.a. Burt, Puck, Jeff and Blaine) handled finding out that Kurt was dating Adam. Team Klaine was inspired to us by a tumblr post where Burt, Puck, and Blaine were at a sleepover wearing matching shirts and painting each others' nails.

Disclaimer: We do not own Glee and have no desire to. Maybe the old Glee. But not the new one.

Burt started as the house phone began to ring. Sighing, he got up from where he was sitting next to Carole and Finn watching the game and snatched up the receiver.

"Yes?"

"Hi, Dad!" Kurt chirped down the line.

"Hi, kiddo."

"You would not believe the news I have! We just made it official!"

"Made what official?" Burt asked, starting to take a sip of his beer.

"I have a new boyfriend!"

Burt choked on his beer, Kurt not hearing over his loud, happy humming. "You have a what now?"

"A boyfriend, Dad! Don't be so naïve." Kurt sighed dreamily. "His name is Adam and he's blond and he's British and he sings like an angel."

"An angel that's about to fall," Burt muttered.

"What?"

"Nothing, Kurt, nothing. I have to go now."

"Dad, what-"

Click.

Burt took a few deep breaths, not caring at the moment that he had just hung up on his son. "Finn, give me Puck's number."

Finn turned around. "What-""

"GIVE ME PUCK'S NUMBER."

"Burt, honey, what's going on?" Carole asked, sounding worried.

Still not looking away from the phone, Burt answered, "Just give me…Puckerman's…number. Please." Burt's tone must have scared Finn because he quickly pulled out his phone and rattled off the number.

"I'll be right back," Burt said, quietly walking out of the room. Once in the kitchen, Burt dialed Puck's number, waiting impatiently as it rang.

"Hello?"

"IRON KLAINE-Is Puck home?" Burt forced his voice down to normal levels.

"Can I ask who's calling?"

"Just tell him The Incredible Klaine."

There was silence for a few seconds before Puck's mother murmured a confused agreement and called for her son. "Sweetheart, someone calling themselves The Incredible Klaine is on the phone for you!"

Burt could hear Puck's response over his own phone.

"I GOT IT UPSTAIRS, MOM, HANG UP THE PHONE! Burt?! What is it?"

"We have an emergency!" Burt said, feeling his heart start to speed up. "Assemble The Team!"

"You grab the shirts, I have the candles! And I'll grab Captain Klaine! The spot?"

"The spot." Burt hung up the phone before bursting back into the living room. "CAROLE ARE THE SHIRTS CLEAN?"

Carole looked up, startled. "The shirts? …Oh, you mean the weird candle shirts?"

"THEY'RE NOT WEIRD-I mean, yes. WHERE ARE THEY WOMAN?"

Finn's eyes were as round as saucers as his mother answered. "They're under your pillow, like they always are."

Burt ran up the stairs without a word, grabbing the shirts and his car keys before running out to his car without saying goodbye to either Finn or Carole. He drove to the spot as fast as he could, relieved when he saw Puck and Blaine already waiting for him.

"What's Loki's name?" Puck demanded as soon as Burt walked over. Burt noticed Blaine hugging a stuffed dog to himself, knowing what this emergency meeting meant.

"Adam," Burt spit out darkly. Blaine let out a high pitched whine, his face crumpling as he buried his face into Margaret Thatcher.

"Let's go," Puck said, eyes narrowed.

The three of them started walking, sneaking through the dark grounds of Dalton. They ripped their shirts off as they went, buttons popping from Burt's plaid shirt, Blaine discarding his bowtie, and Puck shredding his shirt unnecessarily. They pulled on their turquoise Team Klaine T-shirts with the i in 'Klaine' a candle, Pavarotti the flame. A blackbird was holding the candle, whispering "I'll never say goodbye to you." On the back was written the inscription You make me feel like a teenage dream tonight.

Blaine, Burt, and Puck snuck into Dalton, Blaine leading them to The Spot. It was where he had first confessed his feelings to-Burt held back a sob-Kurt and where he had kissed him for the first time. There was no holding back the second sob, but he wasn't alone in his feelings. They walked into the room, Jeff already waiting for them.

Shirtless.

Burt threw his shirt at him, nodding. "Hello, Jeff, son of Oden, god of Klaine."

Jeff quickly slipped into his Team Klaine shirt, looking over at Blaine curled up into a ball, cuddling Margaret Thatcher to his body. "Now is not the time, Captain Klaine. Over here with the rest of us."

Blaine joined them in the circle on the floor, resting Margaret Thatcher in his lap. "Are we going to pray for the reassembling of Team Klaine first?"

Burt nodded. "Let us join hands."

The four of them lit their candles before linking their hands, eyes closing before they began to sing softly.

You think I'm pretty without any makeup on
You think I'm funny when I tell the punch line wrong
I know you get me when I let my walls come down
Down

Their hands tightened their grips as they continued to sing through all three minutes and forty seconds of the song. They all had tears softly, silently streaming down their cheeks when they finished.

"What is the urgent matter?" Jeff, son of Oden, god of Klaine asked.

"There is an enemy troop. A mortal Loki moving in on Kurt," Iron Klaine answered.

Jeff, son of Oden, god of Klaine gasped. "No!"

"It's true," Captain Klaine said mournfully. "I got a notification on my phone. Didn't you all?"

"Yes, right after Kurt called me," The Incredible Klaine muttered.

"Did anyone call HawKlaine or The Klaine Widow?" Iron Klaine asked suddenly.

"I'm sure The Klaine Widow already knows," Captain Klaine said. "She lives with Kurt and Rachel after all."

"And I think HawKlaine is out with Brittney, and he always turns his phone off," The Incredible Klaine supplied. "We'll fill him in later."

"So what are we going to do?" Iron Klaine asked, slamming a fist into his palm. "We cannot allow this to happen."

"It's obvious," Jeff, son of Oden, god of Klaine said. "We instill Operation Candles."

"Yes."

"Yes."

"We must," Iron Klaine said, eyes flashing.

Jeff, son of Oden, god of Klaine opened his mouth to speak, but he was interrupted by someone walking into the room.

"Um…" Sebastian was standing in the doorway, looking awkward.

"RUN!"

"DISASSEMBLE."

"DISASSEMBLE."

"DISPOSE OF THE SHIRTS. CAREFULLY."

"What the hell is going on!?" Sebastian cried as a topless Burt ran past him.

Burt quickly ran to his car, where he pulled on a fresh plaid shirt. He nonchalantly started the car, pulling out of the parking lot and respecting speed limits as he drove home. When he finally parked the car, he whistled as he walked through the front door.

"Hey, guys," he said, sitting down next to Finn and Carole on the couch. "What are you two still doing up?"

"We…We were worried about you," Carole said nervously.

Burt's eyes lit up when he saw his beer, picking it up and finishing it. "Well, I'm fine. Ready for bed?"

"Um…sure, Burt," Finn said, getting up off the couch slowly. "As long as you're okay…I'll see you in the morning."

In the morning, Burt thought with a smile as Finn ran up the stairs, we are starting Operation Candles.

OhmysweetDestiel

We weren't watching The Avengers or anything while writing this…

Hope you all enjoyed! (Most of the time PrincessPanda93 and I were lying facedown in puddles of tears of laughter)