Disclaimer: I don't own the character. The writers of witchblade do. I just wrote these pieces to finally give Conchabar and Sara/Catain their good-byes
Sara thoughts on Conchabar
Sara sitting in her wrecked apartment after Conchabars death. She is sitting on her bed holding his guitar like a lover would hold their companion after being apart no matter the time.
"I still feel him here. Maybe its this damn bracelet or grief but I swear I can still hear his voice asking me to call in sick and stay in bed with him. OHHH how I wish I had. Then he'd be alive right now with me instead of in a coffin on its way back to Belfast to be buried at his families plot. I can feel his hands stroking my shoulder teasing me with pleasure. I can feel his bristles on my skin. They always made me smile. I can still see the joy he got when I watched him sing at a gig and how sometimes he'd let that little crooked smile slip across his face telling me what he'd just sang was meant for me. The first night he spent with me we sat in his apartment and he sang for me. I don't remember much of the song, OHH how I wish I did, but anyway I remember one line "Honey don't think about tomorrow. Honey don't think you might end up picking me out," it was his way of telling me he'd never forget the night I brought him in for a witness to see if he was a killer.
"I actually thought that seeing Catain in the test would bring me some peace but when she told me death was my gift I found myself in even more pain. If death is my gift will I ever know love again. This thing is bound to me now and it doesn't hurt or maybe it does hurt and the pain of loosing my beloved is masking any other pain I may have
"I sit here and can truly say he was more than just my lover and friend. He was my soulmate. Not in the sense that is was foretold that we would be together but in the sense that my soul felt at easy when he was around. Even the blade liked him. I can tell because whenever he was around the visions would stop and the whole world would go silent. It was just me and Conchabar. Two souls forever wandering is this large world.
"Its weird in a way. Danny is in the room and has been for some time but hasn't said a word. I thought he would have tried something by now. Like saying that I should just go on with my life. That he isn't really gone. No instead he just stands in the corner looking over at me with those eyes of his. those eyes that at times I think can see straight into my soul. I can feel Ian somewhere I just don't know where. I'm glad he left me there with my beloved after the fight. I don't think could have handled waking up anywhere else. I felt as long as I was holding him he wasn't dead. I wonder if this is how Catain felt when she lost her Conchabar. Did she feel this searing pain in her heart like someone just threw a Moltove Cocktail into it. Did she feel as if someone had taken a vacuum and sucked all the air out of her lungs. Did she want to die. I wonder
"As the wielder I'm suppose to be strong. Or at least thats what Irons says. Tell you this if anyone asked me to I wouldn't be able to as much as stand right now. Its not like I don't have the energy or the strength I just can't. Its like the weight of his death is greater than any other I have ever felt. The tears stream down my face then back up. I guess the witchblade feels my grief to and trying in its own weird to not let me cry. But the tears just wont stop coming.
"Would you believe he was the first person to make me laugh since Danny died. His Irish voice and tongue that spun tails both out loud and silently made me so happy. He was a saving grace to me. I was getting so caught up in being a cop and he reminded me there were other things in this world. Danny would say he taught me to breathe and relax. I sit here holding the song he wrote for me and I can actually hear him singing it though he never sang it to me. I sent most of his stuff to his family in Belfast but they told be if I wanted to keep anything I could. When I asked to keep his guitar, guitar case and the mementos in it they sad yes. I told them what was in it and they understood why I would want to keep that around. They asked me to a take picture of myself and to place it next to his heart in the coffin. Seems he had written home about me and told them how much he loved me. They felt he should have a way to hold onto me even in his coffin. I sent a letter along telling them a little about me and sent them a picture of him and I together. I put his favorite top of mine in with him along with a locket of my hair and a picture of me. I can still remember as Jake drove me to the Airport to load coffin into the plane. The funeral home said I didn't have to be there but I did. I had to see him off the same as he did for me every day that I went to work. I had to leave him with kind words to remember me by. I remember standing next to his coffin as it waited to be loaded. Jake arranged for me to have a few minutes alone before they loaded it. I opened up the top half and took his had. He was so cold I wanted to climb into the coffin with him and warm him up. He was never cold always warm to the touch like there was an eternal flame in his body that supplied him with endless head and love. I remember saying,
"I don't have the strength to do this you know. I can shoot a man dead in his tracks at point blank range but I'm having the damnedest time letting you go Conchabar. I am your Catain. I'm suppose to leave you not the other way around don't you remember your own story you old oaf." I felt the tears coming again "You know your making me cry. You made me smile for so long that now I am in pain as I stand here because it hurts to cry now. I need you. At least though I can give you one last gift. I can let you be buried on your own soil. I love you" I bent down and kissed him. Then with one of my blades that the Witchblade supplied I cut one of my French braids off and placed it in his left hand. Just like the warriors of old use to do. I closed the casket and watched as the loaded it into the plane. Jake took me home offering to stay with me and help me clean up and get an appointment to have my hair trimmed but I told him I needed to be alone. I guess he understood. He left and put a not on my door that told anyone who dared to knock not to.
"God I need you. I need you to come through that door and tell me you love me. I need for all this to be some nightmare and I'll wake up and I'll be lying in your arms, but I wont dilute myself I know it wont come true. I've pinched myself so many times that my arm is in agony. No this isn't a nightmare this is worst a day mare that unfortunately for me will never end. Like that one stanza in your song for me said.
Our tragedy is old as the night
Fable done told a thousand times
For fate is an unmerciful queen
Made a quest out of you and a soldier of me
I curse the stars that take you away take you away from my side
Come down to burn my chariot wheels and chasing the love of my life
OHH Sara its the pageant we play forever and eternally faded
OHH Sara I done followed to far I can't let you slip away
And Our destiny is bound like the night
"I've traveled to far this time my beloved so now it is I who let you slip away. I wish our time in this life together could have lasted longer. But like you said Fate she is an unmerciful Queen. A queen that has stripped me of my greatest strength I wonder what she has in store for me now.
The end
Sara thoughts on Conchabar
Sara sitting in her wrecked apartment after Conchabars death. She is sitting on her bed holding his guitar like a lover would hold their companion after being apart no matter the time.
"I still feel him here. Maybe its this damn bracelet or grief but I swear I can still hear his voice asking me to call in sick and stay in bed with him. OHHH how I wish I had. Then he'd be alive right now with me instead of in a coffin on its way back to Belfast to be buried at his families plot. I can feel his hands stroking my shoulder teasing me with pleasure. I can feel his bristles on my skin. They always made me smile. I can still see the joy he got when I watched him sing at a gig and how sometimes he'd let that little crooked smile slip across his face telling me what he'd just sang was meant for me. The first night he spent with me we sat in his apartment and he sang for me. I don't remember much of the song, OHH how I wish I did, but anyway I remember one line "Honey don't think about tomorrow. Honey don't think you might end up picking me out," it was his way of telling me he'd never forget the night I brought him in for a witness to see if he was a killer.
"I actually thought that seeing Catain in the test would bring me some peace but when she told me death was my gift I found myself in even more pain. If death is my gift will I ever know love again. This thing is bound to me now and it doesn't hurt or maybe it does hurt and the pain of loosing my beloved is masking any other pain I may have
"I sit here and can truly say he was more than just my lover and friend. He was my soulmate. Not in the sense that is was foretold that we would be together but in the sense that my soul felt at easy when he was around. Even the blade liked him. I can tell because whenever he was around the visions would stop and the whole world would go silent. It was just me and Conchabar. Two souls forever wandering is this large world.
"Its weird in a way. Danny is in the room and has been for some time but hasn't said a word. I thought he would have tried something by now. Like saying that I should just go on with my life. That he isn't really gone. No instead he just stands in the corner looking over at me with those eyes of his. those eyes that at times I think can see straight into my soul. I can feel Ian somewhere I just don't know where. I'm glad he left me there with my beloved after the fight. I don't think could have handled waking up anywhere else. I felt as long as I was holding him he wasn't dead. I wonder if this is how Catain felt when she lost her Conchabar. Did she feel this searing pain in her heart like someone just threw a Moltove Cocktail into it. Did she feel as if someone had taken a vacuum and sucked all the air out of her lungs. Did she want to die. I wonder
"As the wielder I'm suppose to be strong. Or at least thats what Irons says. Tell you this if anyone asked me to I wouldn't be able to as much as stand right now. Its not like I don't have the energy or the strength I just can't. Its like the weight of his death is greater than any other I have ever felt. The tears stream down my face then back up. I guess the witchblade feels my grief to and trying in its own weird to not let me cry. But the tears just wont stop coming.
"Would you believe he was the first person to make me laugh since Danny died. His Irish voice and tongue that spun tails both out loud and silently made me so happy. He was a saving grace to me. I was getting so caught up in being a cop and he reminded me there were other things in this world. Danny would say he taught me to breathe and relax. I sit here holding the song he wrote for me and I can actually hear him singing it though he never sang it to me. I sent most of his stuff to his family in Belfast but they told be if I wanted to keep anything I could. When I asked to keep his guitar, guitar case and the mementos in it they sad yes. I told them what was in it and they understood why I would want to keep that around. They asked me to a take picture of myself and to place it next to his heart in the coffin. Seems he had written home about me and told them how much he loved me. They felt he should have a way to hold onto me even in his coffin. I sent a letter along telling them a little about me and sent them a picture of him and I together. I put his favorite top of mine in with him along with a locket of my hair and a picture of me. I can still remember as Jake drove me to the Airport to load coffin into the plane. The funeral home said I didn't have to be there but I did. I had to see him off the same as he did for me every day that I went to work. I had to leave him with kind words to remember me by. I remember standing next to his coffin as it waited to be loaded. Jake arranged for me to have a few minutes alone before they loaded it. I opened up the top half and took his had. He was so cold I wanted to climb into the coffin with him and warm him up. He was never cold always warm to the touch like there was an eternal flame in his body that supplied him with endless head and love. I remember saying,
"I don't have the strength to do this you know. I can shoot a man dead in his tracks at point blank range but I'm having the damnedest time letting you go Conchabar. I am your Catain. I'm suppose to leave you not the other way around don't you remember your own story you old oaf." I felt the tears coming again "You know your making me cry. You made me smile for so long that now I am in pain as I stand here because it hurts to cry now. I need you. At least though I can give you one last gift. I can let you be buried on your own soil. I love you" I bent down and kissed him. Then with one of my blades that the Witchblade supplied I cut one of my French braids off and placed it in his left hand. Just like the warriors of old use to do. I closed the casket and watched as the loaded it into the plane. Jake took me home offering to stay with me and help me clean up and get an appointment to have my hair trimmed but I told him I needed to be alone. I guess he understood. He left and put a not on my door that told anyone who dared to knock not to.
"God I need you. I need you to come through that door and tell me you love me. I need for all this to be some nightmare and I'll wake up and I'll be lying in your arms, but I wont dilute myself I know it wont come true. I've pinched myself so many times that my arm is in agony. No this isn't a nightmare this is worst a day mare that unfortunately for me will never end. Like that one stanza in your song for me said.
Our tragedy is old as the night
Fable done told a thousand times
For fate is an unmerciful queen
Made a quest out of you and a soldier of me
I curse the stars that take you away take you away from my side
Come down to burn my chariot wheels and chasing the love of my life
OHH Sara its the pageant we play forever and eternally faded
OHH Sara I done followed to far I can't let you slip away
And Our destiny is bound like the night
"I've traveled to far this time my beloved so now it is I who let you slip away. I wish our time in this life together could have lasted longer. But like you said Fate she is an unmerciful Queen. A queen that has stripped me of my greatest strength I wonder what she has in store for me now.
The end