Once More With Feeling
I looked around at the seemingly interested employees of Wolfram & Hart. They seemed so civil dressed up in fleece and tweed. Who knew that some were evil? Angel seemed confused,
"Who are you?" he asked. Before anyone could answer Spike walked right up to us and nonchalantly repeated his earlier question, "How've you been?"
Valerie, Ferensdia, Briana, and myself quickly and simultaneously responded,
"A little sore." Val said rubbing her back.
"Good. Kinda tired." Bri said.
"Not too bad." I said.
"Fine." Fer deadpanned.
"How about you?" we said in unison again.
"Alright, I mean I still got ghosted but I'm back to full form." He pauses and frowns, "How the bloody hell did you get to Wolfram and Hart?"
Fer shrugged, "No clue."
"Well I'm glad you're here. This place is bleedin dull and tall dark and forehead over there," Spike jerks his thumb back at a still very confused Angel, "Walks about swiggin and swaggerin like some kinda bloody hero, when I'm the one who sacraficed myself in order to save the soddin' planet." Spike sighs.
"Ooh, we're sorry." I said not liking him being upset and still feeling guilty about the last time we were in the Buffyverse. We royally screwed up giving away the ghost ending.
Spike looks up at us and smiles as does all my friends.
"S'all right."
"Hold on a minute." Angel says trying to take control of the situation.
"You guys know each other?"
"That's what I bleedin said you big poofter."
Angel ignores him,"Let's go talk in my office."
Nobody moves.
"Now, everyone back to work. Fred, Wesley, Gunn come with me."
Angel looks back at us, "you guys too."
Everyone still doesn't move.
"Today people."
Finally the bustling of a busy office began as people went back to work and my friends, Spike, and I followed the brooding Hulk into his office.
Everyone sat around the table, Angel of course at the head and everyone else around him. Spike remained standing behind Angel. He looked almost as bored as we did. Angel and Fred were talking some technical issues and how we possibly could have gotten to Wolfram and Hart. All the big words quickly turned us off and so we were just content in entertaining ourselves. Unfortunately, we had nothing to entertain ourselves with. Angel started a long discussion about how we needed to figure this out because it's not right we're in the middle of a war and we don't need this distraction and blah, blah, blah. Even the others seemed tired. Fred stared ahead blankly, Wesley was doodling in a notebook and Gunn was nodding his head every other word. Before long the boredom became annoying and I really wanted to tell Angel to stop acting like Lecture Buffy, but instead I glanced at Spike who looked up and rolled his eyes at Angel which made me laugh and then he started making faces which soon caught everyone else's attention. It was very hard to not laugh but of course we ended up snickering and coughing until the poofter realized that Spike was making fun of him.
Wesley began making comments about how they could send us back with spells and stuff and suddenly I felt scared, I mean if his wife couldn't do it, what makes him think he can? Again the conversation headed down a boring road and we were growing impatient. First Val started muttering something it sounded like a chant or a spell but I couldn't hear what she was saying and then Bri started mumbling too, louder and louder until they were basically screaming, "Are we done yet? Are we done yet?"
I was a little scared but happily joined in with Fer and then Spike joined as well until all our voices melted into one.
"SHUTUP!!" Angel roared standing up, his eyes flashing gold. For a split second everyone was quiet.
"Wow somebody's grouchy." I said.
Fer smiled, "Leather pants."
"Angelus, wow you didn't get a happy did you?" Bri asked as we made faces at the tactless comment.
"Look at him thinking he's all in charge, it's cute." Val says.
Fer snorts and I laugh.
"I think he's all broody because of Buffy's mixed signals and vague looks." Fer says.
We glance at her confused.
"You know the analogy that she used."
Blank stares.
"Chosen."
"OOooh. Cookie dough."
"S-l-o-w."
"Shutup. I remember now, OK, I'm cookie dough. I'm not done baking. I'm not finished becoming whoever the hell it is I'm gonna turn out to be. I make it through this, and the next thing, and the next thing, and maybe one day I turn around and realize I'm ready. I'm cookies. And then, you know, if I want someone to eat— or enjoy warm, delicious cookie me, then...that's fine. That'll be then. When I'm done."
"Right." Fer says dragging out the word.
Angel stands up and looks at everyone before turning and walking into his office slamming the door and locking it. Soon there is abundant shouting and things breaking.
"Well that was rude." Fer states.
"Look what we did. now he's all broody." I said, "Maybe we should apoligize."
I glance at Fer, "Nah!!!" We both say.
After their boss' departure, the rest of the gang decided to make use of themselves. Wesley went to look for a way to get us back home, Gunn had a trial, and Fred was called out of the room by Knox apparently there was something that needed her assistance. Spike ended up leaving as well. So we were all alone.
"Boredom has overtaken my body and is eating away at my very soul."
Bri, Val, and myself glanced at Fer.
"Overdramatize much?" I ask.
"I got an idea!" Val says standing up.
"Oh God.." I say
"This can't be good." Fer says.
"No shrimp." Bri says.
"I think we should go explore Wolfram and Hart." Val states giddily.
"Why?" Bri asks.
Val shrugs.
"I don't get it." Fer says.
"Yeah. Where is the insane logic and pointless babbling?" I put in.
"Who are you and what have you done with Valerie?" Bri yells standing up and slapping Val across the face. Fer and myself look at Bri in shock as Val rubs her face,
"Sorry. I got caught up in the moment."
"Wait Val making sense? Is it possible?" Fer asks as if weighing the possibility.
"Apparently." I say.
Val rolls her eyes and proceeds to walk out into the hall. The three of us glanced at each other a little scared before following.
"We'll meet back here for lunch...ok?" Val asks before walking away from us.
"That's not right. Not right at all." Fer says shaking her head.
Soon Fer and Bri walked away and I was left standing there like a moron so I decided to go on an adventure. I walked with a determined step, my head held high toward the elevators to explore the many levels of W&H. I pressed the elevator door button and it dinged. I was about to step in when I noticed a giant three headed monster with glowing red eyes and sharp vampiric teeth. I took several giant steps backwards.
"Ah, Bob you're here." Angel said walking towards the big thing.
"Bob?" I muttered.
The two walked into Angel's office. No one else seemed to see a major problem with a giant monster in the building. I sighed heavily maybe exploring W&H wasn't such a good idea...I decided an exploration of the main floor was good enough...yeah!
Cut to: Val walks into Wesley's office, and glances at the large volumes and columns and columns of books. Wes doesn't even look up.
"Is there something I can help you with, uh..."
"Val." she says still sounding normal...wtf?
"Right, Val."
"Um...no I don't think so....I...can I look at these books?"
"Uh...sure...just hold on."
Wes puts down a fairly large book called: Spells & Charms
He walks over to the bookcase and pulls down a smaller, and newer volume and hands it to Valerie.
"If you can look for transporter type spells, other dimensions, anything that seems familiar or relevant to your...situation."
Val nods and seats herself in front of Wesley's desk.
She opens the book and instantly becomes entranced with the book...Wes sits down as well and opens the gigantomous book he had earlier. The two sat in companionable silence.
Cut to: Fer walking down a long hall. She notices one door slightly ajar & opens it. She realizes that she's in the science lab and walks in looking at the vials and potions and gadgets surrounding her. Like a giddy ten year old she walks around looking at everything. Fred walks down some stairs with a clipboard in hand. She jumps back after knocking into Fer.
"Oh, I'm sooo sorry." Fer says helping her pick up the papers.
"No it's my fault. I'm so clumsy."
They both stand as Fred adjusts her glasses. Fer goes back to admiring the weird things.
"Do you like Science?" Fred asks looking at a now drooling Fer.
"Huh? Oh...yeah I love science. I actually want to be a scientist."
"Really?"
"mmhmm."
Fred looks thoughtful.
"Do you want to help me with an experiment I'm doing?"
Fer's eyes go wide.
"YES!" Fer yells.
Fred laughs and leads the way.
Cut to: Me. So I'm having a really dull conversation with Harmony. I actually feel bad for her 'cause she eats lunch by herself. So Harm is drinking blood and I'm having a cup of coffee. She's going on about how she's a good person and how she's changed since coming to Wolfram and Hart and then she starts talking about how she was really popular in H.S. and I just nod. I don't think she's gonna ever shut up, and now I know how everyone feels around Kennedy. :::Shivers in disgust:::
"Are you o.k.?" Harmony asks.
"Hmm? Oh...yeah...I'm just a little cold."
"Oh. Do you wanna go back to the desk....it does tend to get cold in here?"
"Uh...sure."
We get up and walk towards the entrance but are stopped as Spike comes barreling through the door.
"There you are, Jess. I've been looking all over for you. Can we talk, privately."
I looked at him dreamily. And then blushed at the concept of Spike searching all over for me...me not Buffy...but me....Jessica Hernandez of Selden, New York...I knew all the James Marsters stalking and letters of undying love had to of paid off and I took a step forward. But stopped. And sighed.
"I'm sorry. I can't"
"What? Why not?"
"Imntaloed." I mumbled quickly.
"What?"
I sighed again.
"I'm not allowed to go anywhere alone with you."
Spike and Harmony both look at me.
Cut to: Bri stops in front of two large wooden doors. She looks around to make sure know one notices and then opens the door, steps inside, and then quickly closes them behind her. She walks over to the desk and looks around for any sign of...him.
"What do you want?" Angel asks looking up at Bri.
"Nothing." Bri answers quickly before sitting down in one of the chairs.
An entire ten minutes go by with just the two of them staring at each other. Finally the long silence is broken by a heavy sigh,
"Would you please stop looking at me?"
"You're looking at me!" Bri protests.
"Are not."
"Are too."
"Are not!"
"Are too!"
"ARE NOT!"
"ARE TOO!"
Uh...whatever....
Cut to: Lunch.
Val and Wesley were the first one's to walk into the conference room. They were smiling and talking avidly about spells, enchantments, the whole nine yards. They sat down across from each other and barely noticed when I entered accompanied by Spike and Harmony. I nudged Val and she looked up at me over her glasses. I waved and she grinned before turning back. A moment later the doors swung open and Fred and Fer stood in the doorway both covered in dirt from head to toe, and their white lab coats had a slimy green goo running down the length of it. Fer's hair stood up in twists and loops around her head like Medusa some smoke was still spewing from the tips of her hair. Fred's glasses were broken and hanging crooked on her face. There was a brief, shocked silence as we stared at the strange scene before us. Finally, Val and myself burst into uncontrollable laughter.
"What happened?" Wes asked after the laughter died down.
"We did an experiment that went a little wrong." Fred answered taking off her lab coat and throwing it to the floor.
"A little wrong?" Spike said looking them over again. "You look like you guys were in an explosion."
"Well the lab did kind of, maybe explode a little." Fer said. Val snorted and laughed again as I followed suit.
"It's not my fault, I didn't know the difference ." Fer said in defense.
I was about to comment further when the doors to Angel's office flung open and Angel stepped out his perfectly gelled hair was not so perfect and Bri stepped out a stupid grin playing on her face as she adjusted her top. What the hell? Fer stopped taking off her lab coat and watched Bri's actions and then turns to me open-mouthed. I stared ahead at all the disgusting possibilities until my head hurt from the visuals. Angel said something and everyone else seemed to jump to their feet. The only thing I heard was the promise of a babysitter to watch us.
"A babysitter?" Fer practically yelled, "We're not a bunch of kids, we don't need a babysitter."
Angel ignored her and walked out with Bri on his heels.
I looked at Briana with disgust before saying, "Ew. And what the hell was that?"
Fer rubbed her eyes, "The visuals. Oh, it burns!"
Val laughs before standing up and walking towards us. There is a knock at the door and Knox walks in.
There is a dead silence as we stare ahead at him/it.
"What do you want?" Fer says glaring at him.
"I'm your um, babysitter."
"We just finished telling Angel we don't need a babysitter, especially not you." I say.
Knox seems hurt but quickly gets over it.
"You girls are gonna stay in here. I don't want you leaving this room, you understand?"
Fer seems outraged and starts to speak, but Val cuts her off,
"Yes Mr. Knox, sir."
"Good." Knox walks out leaving me and fer gawking at Val.
"What the hell was that?" I demanded.
"Yeah, 'Yes sir Mr. Knox, sir.' What's up with that?"
"Well I figured..." Val tries.
"You figured what, that guy is evil and you just let him tell us what to do?" I cut her off.
"No, I mean I know he's..."
"He's what? EVIL? Did you forget that he killed Fred!" Fer yells.
"SHUTUP!" Val screams.
Fer and I glance at each other.
"I just figured that if we agree to what he wants he'll leave us alone and I was right, now we can leave."
"Leave? Leave where?" I ask quietly.
"Away from him."
Cut to:
Angel, Spike, and Gunn fighting some really hairy, big-foot type monsters. Fred and Wesley are wearing goggles and are both trying to hold a giant laser-like gun. Spike kicks a big hairy monster and it goes down....Angel gets tackled and Gunn runs over beating the monster with a stick that instantly breaks in half and apparently has no affect 'cause the monster keeps attacking Angel. Spike stands up and watches and then quickly assists Fred and Wes by single handedly picking up the laser and putting it on his shoulder. Fred moves toward the beam, types in a bunch of digits and a lightning rod of silver hits one demon in the back. The demons turn to dust like a vampire and Spike aims it at another monster.
Cut to:
Knox walks back into the conference room that he had locked us in earlier. He turns the knob and confidently strides in but quickly frowns when he sees that we're not there. He spins around and storms down the hall.
Cut to:
Fer, Val, and myself are looking around the empty room. There is nothing but a whole lot of mist. The confused trio keep walking hoping to find someone or at this point even something. Finally I could go no further and we stopped rubbing our aching feet and gathering our thoughts. A minute later a shiver ran down each of our spines. We instinctively turned to the source of our fright and came face-to-face with the Cat.
Cut to:
Angel and the rest of the team come back to Wolfram and Hart all looking exhausted. Harmony stops them before they can get away.
"Bossy?"
"Not now Harmony."
"Yeah, but..."
Angel starts to walk away,
"Knox lost the girls."
Angel turns around raising an eyebrow. Spike storms over to Harmony, "What do you mean he lost the girls?"
"I mean he put them in the conference room and left and when he came back they were gone."
"Stupid wanker, alright fine this is what we're gonna do, Fred and Wes look around the first few floors, Harm notify security and stay by your desk they may come back after all this is the only area they know. Gunn and I will search the upper floors and Angel..."
Spike looks around and notices that Angel is gone.
"Son-of-a..."
Everyone starts off on their mission this time Spike sends Gunn to look for Eve. Spike bursts into Angel's office seething.
"Uh...I thought I locked that door."
He turns to look at the door and notices that only one is still hanging onto it's hinges.
"Can you not destroy my office?" Angel asks.
"What is wrong with you the girls are missing we need to find them."
"Correction, I don't need to find them."
"What do you mean you don't need to find them? They're innocent. They don't deserve to die. We're bleedin' Wolfram and Hart."
"Actually I am Wolfram and Hart. You are just...why are you here again?" Angel asks.
Cut to:
The trio are slowly inching backward away from the large beast with the long, sharp, threatening teeth.
Val suddenly stops cowaring and walks forward. She rubs her fingers together and says,
"You look like Sugar, come here Sugar (Sugar is Val's cat)"
The cat seems to go alongwith this and moves toward Val. Unfortunately the Cat takes a snap at her fingers. She jumps back screaming, "Back! Back! You are not Sugar!"
"No uh." fr mutters.
Cut to:
Spike screaming at Angel about how they, including Angel, need to find us. In the middle of Spike's lengthy speech, Val, Fer and myself walk into the room with big smiles.
"Where have you been?" Spike asks turning into worried father mode.
"We went to see the cat!" Val exclaims excitedly.
"What?" Angel says standing up, "you're lucky it didn't kill you."
"Kill us?" Fer scoffs looking at us, "Charlie's Angels."
The three of us laugh loudly.
"What did you do?" Angel demands.
"Do? Who, Us? Nothing."
Angel looks right at us apparently not noticing or choosing to ignore our obvious lie. He shrugs and then sits down rustling through papers and files on his desk to make himself look busy. With a sigh, Spike walks out of the room, my eyes folloing his every move until I could no longer see him. A second later, Val disappears and Fer and I are left alone with him. Angel looks up and lets out an aggravated sigh. Fer smirks before sitting herself down in one of the chairs opposite Angel's desk. Ah! Fun times annoying Angel. I am content standing. I stride over to Angel's desk and start picking up papers and reading them.
"What are you doing?"
"Admiring the work load." Fer says picking a sheet up.
Angel looks about to say something and then thinks better of it, "You know what? I'm gonna go down to the uh...whatever, you're not even listening to me anyway."
Angel stands up and walks out of the room. After a beat I glance at Fer and ask, "Where'd the poofter go?"
Fer shrugs, "Beats Me."
Suddenly she stands, "You know what we need to do'
"Go see where Spike is. Oooh maybe, he's in the shower and we can 'accidentally' walk in and..."
"Ok I'm cutting you off," Fer lowers her voice, "I should have cut you off after the word Spike," raising it again, "Anyway, I meant we need Buffy." I glance at her and smile, "Great, but we don't know where she is."
"I bet he does." Fer says turning to Angel's computer.