Chapter 1: Ode to Ouchies

Disclaimer: Nothing but my but my OC's belong to me. Everything else belongs to whoever owns them. So please don't sue because I don't have any money. Never sue poor people.

Lord Cooler slowly paced the halls of his grand ship. Not long ago he had received a transmission detailing his brother's demise at the hands of a "saiyan" who now currently resides on earth. He would know make him pay with all the blood in his body for the dishonor of his family. "I hope you haven't gotten too attached to your planet you dammed monkey." He said as if the wretched beast of a man could hear him. "Because soon it will be little more worth little more than a pile of…" "SHIT!" He turned quickly to see one of his elite fighters, Doore, in HIS personal pod coming at top speed towards him. He had no time to react he was hit most violently in his head. He collapsed to the floor bleeding like a blood bank after a robbery. Doore screeched to a halt and slowly turned hoping beyond hope that he hadn't run over who he thought he had. As Neizu and Sauzer caught up he knew he was going to catch hell for this…

"Doore, you imbecile! Do you realize what you have done!" Sauzer had been yelling at poor Doore for at least 20 minutes now. At one point he even made up words but even they failed to convey his rage. "Well you jagoerin boopwuer what do you have to say for you self!" Doore just sort of looked at his feet and mumbled "sorry…" Sauzer did not hear this and continued to flay him. "Our lord is in there severely injured because of your rampart stupidness! For you crime I will kill you with the fury of a thousand supernova's!" Doore began to open his mouth put Sauzers fist found its way in instead. "Number 1!"

In his personal healing tank Cooler float, at least to any outside observer, like a baby. A very tall baby yes, but like one regardless. But inside things werenot aspeaceful as they were appeared.For Cooler's mindwas somewhere unknown to him."This had better not be the inside of my head." He said to himself as he floated in the inky blackness. "Am I dead or in a coma or…." He pondered to himself for a second. "WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE!" And out of the silence drifted a voice that barley above a whisper. "You're almost right" He quickly looked around himself for the source of it but saw nothing. "What is the meaning of this!" He demanded. "Simple. You are seeing what is to be your existence after you die. You are near death right now." Cooler continued to search. " I guessed that, but what do you want of me?" "Its want I want for you" the voice responded back. "Well what then." He snapped back as his patience began to erode. "I am offering you power, companionship and maybe…" its voice trailed off. "You've caught my interest with the first item, the others interest me not. But before we continue what is your name or do you have one." After a brief silence it came back simply "I… don't have one" "Fine, Fine now tell me how I get this power." "All you must do is accept it and its consequences." "Which are…?" Cooler inquired. "You will become a force for the light but you will not inhabit your body andnever see peace in your sleep." "WHAT! You're a loony if you think I will give up who I am to get stronger. I am already the lord of the galaxy. I need nothing more." He turned away as best he could considering he didn't know were the voice was from. "You will die if you do not accept." "Fine. This inky blackness isn't that bad." "No. You will recover and head to earth. There you will die fighting the one who killed your brother and burned alive in the fires of a star. Then you will come back and killed yet again by him. Then you will return here and stay. I have seen what happens. Hell is not fire but darkness." He considered this for a moment and looked over his shoulder. "Ok, and if I accept, then what?" "Then you will have peace." "And I to do thisall i must dois become something that I will never be." He almost swore that the darkness around him began to flow and then just as soon stopped. "Then I propose this. I will let you watch and feel as the one palnned to use your body uses it for a while. You will feel what it is like to give rather than take." The voice paused to let the wordssink in."If you do not like it then you may keep your power and you will never hear of me again."Cooler closed his eyes and thought for a second."You have a deal." He knew he could not get a better deal. He had outsmarted the voice and that made him very happy. As heapplauded himself in his headfrom the void the darkness began to flow as the "sides" began to climb up and the "middle" began to move downwards.

Meanwhile the medics scurried around keeping check on Cooler's vitals and other medical things pertaining to healing pods and head wounds. "Pressure ok, wait his body seems to be growing at an amazing rate." The others ran to the console to look at the readings then as they heard metal begin to tear they looked towards his pod. He was indeed growing and his body could no longer fit in his personal and perfectly sized pod

They scurried about to open the pod but an outburst of energy from their subject cut that short. "Lord Cooler! Are you alright!" One of the technicians ran over to his master side and as he began to try and stand him up he was shocked by his transformation. (He's exactly as he is when he transformed in the movie.) "Uhhh… Yeah my head just hurts, thanks for your help." The techie nearly dropped him then and there. He gave no one thanks for there work or help. He barely acknowledged there existence or work. Cooler took a few tentative steps to the amazement of the med crew. "My lord you are still not well…" As another of their number rushed to lead him somewhere to sit. He sat him on their examination bed. "Ow, thanks, what happened and why do you keep calling me lord? I mean were all friends here aren't we?" They were all too stunned to speak. Just then repair and a group of EMT's showed up. Cooler greeted them heartily "Hello there. We were just sitting down. Why don't you join us." After much ado about there master's odd behavior they eventually decided it was a change for the better. "Hey." One of the repairman spoke up "Its time for lunch ain't it." "Sure is." One of the EMT's confirmed. Cooler heard this and his face as best it could with the thing in front of his mouth beamed. "Yeah, let's get going cause im hungry too." There was silence until one repair man spoke up. "What to you want to tell your chefs to cook for you?" Cooler shook his head "No thanks im hungry now ill go with you guys to where ever you're going." "Uh, well… ok." One of the techs supported Cooler (same one) while the rest set things up for their absence. Once they were done they all set off for the cafeteria.

The revived and reborn Cooler attempted to make small talk with his companions but they were still scared. Their lord had hardly gave a damn what happened to them before now he was polite and cheerful. His new state did little to calm their fears. They thought at any moment he would return to his old self or worse go insane and kill them. So they were rather quiet.The purple giant had been trying to break the ice by telling joke's. "So the giraffe said…" A loud thumping sound interrupted his joke. Cooler stopped rattling to listen to the sound. "Uh sire are you ok?" "Listen." Cooler said quietly. Another jarring thump was heard and felt. "Stay here I'll go check." Cooler walked off on unsure legs to the source of the noise.

"Number 487!" Sauzer kicked Doore, who had lost consciousness around number 247 into the wall. "Number 488!" Yelled Neizu, who had joined in around number 70, as he peeled doore of the wall then slammed his face into his knee and held him for sauzers next move. Sauzer ran forward and jump kicked towards the propped up doore. To his shock he grabbed in mid-air andthrown to the ground by a 7 foot-tall monster. "Dammed beast. You will not prevent Doore's punishment." From his position he shifted his body into a powerful sweep kick Cooler pulled up his legs to dodge and then kicked one out sending him skidding down the hall. Neizu dropped his victim and moved to his friend's aid by striking out at his assailant. Cooler merely dropped to the floor letting Neizu strike air and then knocked him away with his tail. "Now what's going…?" He was rudely interrupted by a large energy blast from Sauzer who moved in and began to work his opponent's body. He charged energy in his hand for his ultimate move The Sauzer Blade! (Trademarked by Sauzer.) He prepared to shove it into his foe's chest. Cooler dodged and phased behind him, and being thoroughly angry now grabbed him from behind and power slammed him. "Ok then, can someone tell me…?" Suddenly purple electricity began to surround his body. It didn't hurt at all and he took his time to find the source. He turned and saw it was Neizu and looked him straight in the eye. He wisely decided to put his hands up.

"My lord, what were you doing to this poor man?" Cooler asked in distress at the sight of the battered and maimed Doore. Weakly Neizu told him that they did it to revenge their lord's wounds. Cooler called over the EMT's and the technicians to grab Doore and get him to the pods. In their rush to get to the wounded Doore they stepped on Sauzer a few times stirring him from his unconsciousness. "Ill kill the bastard that did this." He swore to him self. It was in vain because he could not move. Cooler began to explain what had happened in the healing pod with much help frpmthe crewmansupporting him. Neizu begged forgiveness from the new Cooler andbeggedhim not to kill him,instead of death sent to his room until, in his master's words "until you've made some noodles and raised a barn." He obeyed his master with some consternation over his behavior. "Well that's done. Let's hurry over to eat before it gets too late." Cooler proclaimed wearily. "What about Sauzer, sir?" Asked one of the EMT's He scratched his head and thought for a second. "Patch him up then send him to his room, he's grounded too." As he went off one of the other crewman looked to another coworkerand asked him. "What in the hell is grounding?"