Buffy reflects on how she and Faith got here and where they are today. Angsty family fic. Hints of B/A (S3), B/Aus (S3), B/R (S4), F/R (S4), B/S (S7). B/F friendship, family. NOT SLASH!

Part 1:

Timeline: Between Season 3 Episode 17 Enemies and Season 3 Episode 18 Earshot

Pairings: Hints of B/A, B/Aus, F/Aus

Spoilers: S3 E17 (Enemies), S3 E8 (Lover's Walk), S3 E3 (Faith, Hope and Trick), S3 E12 (Helpless)

Buffy Summers was empty. She stared at the wall with no feeling left in her. So much had happened tonight, so much that she had to process. Angel had pretended to be Angelus for Faith, he had kissed Faith, right in front of her. It had ripped a part of her to shreds, to know that he had done it, even if she knew why he had, intellectually speaking.

But even with all of the Angel drama (which she was far too used to), the real kick in the gut was the confirmation that Faith had betrayed them. Yeah, she had known; but it hadn't been confirmed. Faith had betrayed her. With all of their pain, all of their issues, Buffy had never actually though that Faith would betray her, of all people. Wesley, yes. Giles, even, yes. Angel? Hell yes. But her?

And the biggest kicker was that Faith had been right about several things. First of all, Angel/Angelus. Faith was right about a part of her yearning for the demon, a part of her wanting to hunt Angel down and give him that moment of pure happiness again so that she could have Angelus. And wasn't that the sickest thing? She wanted Angelus, in a sexual way. She loved Angel with all of her heart, but she had been attracted to him tonight in a totally different way than she usually was.

He had acted the part of the demon perfectly, and it had made certain muscles twist inside of her.

Faith attracted her. Not in a sexual way, for sure, because Buffy didn't swing that way and even if she did, she was sure that Faith wouldn't be at all attractive. Not that Faith wasn't hot shit, but something about the idea was just…wrong. Faith was her sister. Through and through.

Maybe that was why she had such difficulty believing that Faith had betrayed her. The Slayer that she constantly tried to deny the existence of was adamant that Faith was hers. And that she was Faith's. They belonged to each other, and that was what was wrong with the whole thing.

Fine. Faith left first. It was all Faith's fault. Faith was the one who was in trouble. Faith started it. I just intend to finish it. And Buffy pushed the Slayer back down, ignored the wailing that said that she should dump the Scoobies, that none of them mattered compared to Faith. That her and Faith and Angelus would help the mayor ascend and take over Sunnydale, and everything would be perfect. That she would be complete.

A/N: This is not my first fanfic. I used to have another account here, but I deleted it because the stories were such utter crap. I won't say what the penname was, in case anybody remembers it. It's been years since I wrote fanfiction, and I honestly never thought that I would again, but I kept reading all of these Buffy/Faith slash stories. Not that I have anything against slash, but I decided to write the progression of Buffy and Faith's relationship how I see it. I'm planning five chapters to this fic: this one, after Buffy and Angel pretend that Angel's soul is gone so that they can prove that Faith has betrayed them; then one after Buffy stabs Faith to get her blood to cure the poison in Angel; then one after the whole fiasco in season four after Faith wakes up, causes a ruckus, sleeps with Riley and goes to kill Angel only to end up on the redemption track and in jail for twenty-five to life for murder; one in season seven while Buffy's wrestling with her feelings for Spike and finds him and Faith together on the bed in Dirty Girls; and one based after season 7 when the new Watcher's Council is good and established, probably three or four years after season 7.