AN: This entire story was born from one line of a Sleeping at Last song from which this title is derived from. I spent months with it rattling around in my head until a prompt from a friend and divine intervention finally made me put pen to paper. Now what started off as a couple of hundred words has turned into a beast of a story!
I will try to post chapters as quickly as I can. Please know that I absolutely accept constructive criticism and as this is un-beta'd there may be a couple of bumps along the way.
This story is for Grace
Disclaimer: Though the following work of fiction are purely mine, the characters are not. We can thank Ms. Suzanne Collins for creating these characters and allowing us to play with them outside of her words.
It starts with our eyes well acquainted with the darkness
KATNISS
She wakes, violently so, from a nightmare that had held her so deep in its recesses that she wasn't sure she was awake long after her eyes were open. Her breathing is fast, thready and painful in her throat, she'd been screaming out loud she realizes.
"Shhh, shhh, mmm, ss..it's ok," he mumbles. Strong, steady hands wind their way around her waist pulling her closer to his chest. He plants a soft warm kiss against the nape of her neck in comfort.
She tenses.
He's still mostly asleep, he's probably not even aware that he did it, he's just trying to offer her comfort, but, she's caught off guard none the less. Not because he's never done it before, but because his kisses as of late have begun to make her skin burn under the press of his lips. That fluttering feeling she's come to associate with him fills her belly, warming her in a way that's entirely new and old all at the same time.
She turns in his arms so that she can see him fully and he subconsciously moves to accommodate her. Even in sleep, he still manages to always put her first. Every night since that first night he's come to her. His arms offering her salvation from the nightmares. His presence is like a balm on her soul and his body offers her a security that she's come to crave in a very short time.
He's a victim of the nightmares too, though he never says a word. But, she can see the toll they take. They are evident in the dark circles that frame his eyes and the sallowness of his skin. She is selfish she notes, and she takes and takes everything he gives and she never once reciprocates it.
"How can you love me?" she whispers into the night.
She studies him in the dark. She can only just discern his features, the only light coming from the lone window where fragmented bits of moon filter through the trees as the train speeds down the track. Her shift has brought them closer now, the tips of their noses just barely touching. Her right hand as if possessed moves to cup his face. Her thumb lightly grazing the swell of his cheek, the dimple in his chin and finally his bottom lip. It's here her eyes rest as her finger glides back and forth across the soft skin. His mouth has been haunting her dreams for weeks now and before she even realizes it she's pressed her own mouth against his.
She feels him stiffen under her lips and she pulls back immediately. He's definitely awake now and his eyes easily find hers in the dark.
"Katniss?" he questions, his voice husky and deep from sleep.
She doesn't know how to respond, she's a little frightened and ashamed, but the feeling that overrides all the others is the temptation to do it again.
So she does.
And this time he responds.
00000000000000000000000000000000000
The mind was made to illuminate the heart
PEETA
He doesn't recognize her screams at first. But as she calls out again he feels it more than hears it, the pain tinged with fear and misery. They are an agonizing mirror of his own nocturnal haunting's.
His instant reaction is to run to her, but he pauses just as his shadow falls across her doorway. He's unsure if he should go to her. The past couple of months have demonstrated that they're not friends, they're barely even acquaintances. The past couple of weeks however, he's found himself in an odd sort of limbo where she's concerned. What he does know is that she will mask her embarrassment with anger if she learns that her vulnerability is being advertised across the narrow hallways.
He can't ignore the screams though, every one of them feels like a knife to his chest, so against his better judgement he takes a deep breath and opens her door.
He can see that she's tangled in the sheets, fighting an unknown enemy that stalks behind her closed lids. He intends to stay by the door, just wanting to make sure she's safe. But, she's mumbling something and it's those whispered words that draws him closer.
"Peeta?! Peeta?! Please, where are you? Don't leave me."
Her cries are frantic and hearing her call his name with such agony resonates with a primal and elemental instinct in him to protect his own. He can't kill or maim the monsters that terrorize her, they are but figments of her imagination, so he does the only thing he can think of. He kneels on the bed, gathers her in his arms and holds her tightly against him, all the while whispering words of solace in her ear that he hopes will calm her down. It takes a minute, but he begins to feel her muscles relax under his own and as he attempts to extricate himself from her, to lay her back down, she digs her fingers into his flesh and begs, "Please don't leave me."
She's still asleep, he muses. She's not thinking clearly and though he'd like nothing more than to spend the night wrapped around her, he knows that she does not share the same sentiment. He will at least enjoy this moment though, with her tucked under his chin, warm from sleep. He moves to lay her down again, but instead of letting go, she tightens her hold on him. He can feel her shaking her head back and forth against his chest.
"Katniss?"
"No, no. Do-don't leave me," she whimpers.
"Shh, it's ok. Do you want me to stay with you for a while?"
Her response is to wrap her legs around his waist. She's pretzeled her body around his and he cannot escape. So he doesn't try. Instead he rocks her gently, stroking her hair until she begins to nod off again. His third attempt to leave is thwarted by one word.
"Stay," she whispers.
"Always"