She lies awake next to him, her head cradled on the nook between his neck and shoulder. She watches his chest rise and fall, watches him as he sleeps, and wonders if he knows how much she loves him. She has said the words before, she can count the number of times she has said it on the fingers of one hand, but then point is that during moments of weakness she has told him how she feels. But she wonders if he knows exactly how much she feels for him.
The cursed boy whom she loves cannot love her in return. His heart is not whole and so he cannot offer it to her. It is not what she originally imagined falling in love to be like, but she accepts it because she knows there is no one else for her.
She knows he feels something for her. There is something in the way he looks at her, something in the way he treats her, that betrays his harsh words. There is a gentleness in his actions and sometimes he can be, dare she say it, kind to her. He is never like that with anyone else, not even his loyal knight Felix.
She wonders if he knows how much she loves him, how her love for him makes her want to stay with him. She no longer asks him if she could leave, if she could go home, because somehow, home has become his warm embrace at night when no one can witness their private moments.
She watches his face, so relaxed while deep in sleep, and knows that soon his brow will furrow and moans will escape his lips. The night terrors will come soon and so, she holds him close, ready to help him through them. They happen every night. Halfway through sleep his body will be wracked with nightmares and his mind tortured with demons he mentions nothing about the morning after.
She is always there to pull him through, always there to shine a light on the darkness in his mind. She waits until his breathing is even once more before she finally allows herself to follow him and drift off into the land of dreams.
He is always awake, watching her, when she opens her eyes. Because while she loves watching him fall asleep, he loves watching her wake up.