May 28th 2011
26,280,000 seconds. 14,400 minutes. 7,200 hours. 304 days. That's how long it took for my life to go from kind of shitty to completely shitty. And by completely shitty I mean having to sit in this dull lifeless room with 12 other freaks all because some idiot doctor told my parents that I was "suicidal".
"So Blaine. You've been sitting here with us for the past 5 sessions saying nothing but I think we would all like to hear what you have on your mind" My annoyingly bubbly group therapy leader? I don't even know what she's actually called but I don't even think I really care, said to me.
"You mean have me tell you why on that little chart of yours it says I am suicidal? Because lets be really here isn't that what you people really want from me?" Okay so maybe I am being intentionally snarky today but that's because I would rather be putting hot coal into my eyes then being here with these people.
"Blaine we just want to help you but we cannot help you if you don't tell us what's going on in your head. At least just tell us…" I cut her off because I can't stand to listen to her moan about me not participating.
"Where should I start?" I asked sighing while admitting defeat with the silent war I had going on with her. Well maybe not so much a war to her but definitely one to me.
"What" I could see the shock written all over her face.
"Where should I start my story because it's a hell of a long one." I had to stop myself rolling my eyes at the over excited faces of the other freaks in the group. It is astonishing how no matter how fucked up people are, they are still able to get excited over someone else's drama.
"Oh well why don't you start at whatever part is the part that you feel is most important." I mentally bitch slapped her upside the head because how on earth am I supposed to figure out what the most important part is? Doesn't see realize I've been fucked up since I exited my mom's vagina?
"Well then I guess I'll start at the beginning of junior year."