It's Hard To Look Right (At You Baby)

Set just after 'Special Education' where Rachel finds out that Finn slept with Santana. In this, Rachel doesn't make-out with Puck but she tries doing this instead. Inspired by the music video of 'Call Me Maybe" by Carly Rae Jepson. Kurt does not see Blaine as a romantic interest for...make up your own reason.

So, for anyone who's actually reading my other Kurtbastian fic. This is to make up for the lack of chapters on that front. You have no idea how busy I've just been with tests and exams so I hope you all forgive me. I was just hit with this and so it does not have any editing or betaing. Sorry if that's a big issue for you.

"…It's not fair, Kurt! We were supposed to be each other's firsts!"

Kurt just nods along, too enraptured by the Real Housewives marathon playing on the TV in Rachel's house. He's already heard several variations of what his friend was complaining about. Saying anything at this stage leads to Rachel droning on for far too long than he can stand. He found out the hard way when he tried to reason with her about 10 minutes ago. 'And she's still going.' he thinks. 'It was totally not worth driving two hours for this.'

"…and Santana! Of all people, Santana!"

Kurt dips his hand into the large green popcorn bowl between them. Finding it empty, he makes an annoyed grunt in his throat. He stands up, bones protesting the movement, as he heads to the spacious kitchen in the Berry household. Hopefully, they have more microwave popcorn. It's part of his 'Rachel Berry Rants' survival method.

He finds a blue bag of popcorn in the large glass overstocked pantry. He tries grabbing it from the shelf slightly above his reach but he nearly sends a jar of chilli and pineapple jam to the floor. He pushes the glass container more inwards, as so not to send it crashing, and tiptoes out of the crowded shelves with an inward sigh. He really couldn't handle it if Rachel starts moaning about how he's ruined something her dads' have bought at an International Jam Festival or something. It's then he notices that Rachel isn't talking anymore. Not even a hushed tirade.

He sticks his head out of the kitchen, wondering what had caused this miracle. He sees Rachel standing at the large window that looks into the Berry's neighbour's yard. Curious and slightly dreading to what had taken a tube of super strength glue to Rachel's lips, he puts down the packet of popcorn and makes his way over to his friend.

Rachel's body is blocking all of the light coming in from that window and now he just has to know what's out there. As if she's read his thoughts, Rachel ducks down so quickly that light comes streaming through like it's been fired from a cannon.

Blinking from the sudden brightness, Kurt shields his face with one hand and presses the other against the glass. He nearly ducks down as well when he sees what - or rather who -Rachel had been staring at.

A teenage boy is standing outside. A rather handsome teenage boy and he can't stop himself from gawping - probably rather unattractively. The boy has mussed up chestnut hair and a very charming and well, sexy grin. His eyes are boring right into Kurt's and he's never felt such a desire to discover what colour someone's eyes were. Not to mention that the guy's shirt is off and his six pack is probably the best thing he'll ever see. The other guy stretches and Kurt can make out some words tattooed onto his arm. He's not a big fan of them as they would stay with you even when you're old and wrinkly. But on this boy, it's kind of hot.

He's still trying to memorise every inch of the other boy's body when he finally becomes aware of Rachel hitting him on the leg repeatedly. Extremely hard.

"Oi!" She hisses, "Why are you letting him see you? He'll think it's creepy that you're staring."

"Says the girl who basically undressed him with her eyes without his knowledge. At least he's staring back at me." Kurt says rather sarcastically, though it goes over Rachel's head as she crawls away on her hands and knees, muttering about 'getting over Finn' and 'revenge' Honestly, Kurt couldn't care less.

The 'creepy' comment of Rachel's had actually gotten to him. Not too long ago, it was Finn who had basically said Kurt was a predatory gay out to molest all straight boys. As soon as the thought crosses his mind, a scowl casts a dark shadow over his face.

Then he notices a movement in his peripheral vision. The boy standing outside is giving him a two fingered salute and a cocky smirk. Kurt flushes and doesn't really know how to respond. So, he just smiles awkwardly and shuts the curtains. He refuses to let himself believe that the cute hot boy outside is actually gay even though his gaydar is going off at an alarming rate. He likes to think that it's impeccable but with the Sam incident, maybe its not.

He barely gets a quiet moment to mull over his new thoughts before Rachel is dragging him around to crash on the couch.

"Okay," she announces, taking out a pink notebook studded with stickers of gold stars and words like 'dream', 'wish' and 'hope'. "we need to brainstorm ideas on how to get that boy," she jabs emphatically in the direction of the covered window "to either ask or accept my number. So Kurt, brainstorm!"

"Rachel, don't you think you're getting over Finn way too fast? I mean, you were professing your undying love, like, fifteen minutes ago - "

"I'm not over Finn! I'm just making the score even by making sure Finn knows I have other options besides just him."

"Rachel…"

"And you can't tell him! I know he's your stepbrother now, but you can't tell. Swear on your dreams of New York." she insists, deadly serious.

"Rachel, I - "

"I'm serious! I mean - "

"Rachel!" Kurt snaps testily, sick of getting interrupted. "Firstly, I love you but you are insane. You can't just cheat on Finn. And don't say you're not cheating," he adds warningly when Rachel opens her mouth. "because however much you tell yourself that it's only balancing the score, you're still cheating on him. Secondly, has it ever occurred to you that the hot guy might be gay?" he trails off and he expects an understanding exclamation of "Oh!" from Rachel or maybe even a thoughtful expression. Dramatic but understated, of course. But this is Rachel Berry, so he doesn't get any of those things. Instead, Rachel starts to laugh loudly.

"Kurt," she gasps "that is hilarious. There is absolutely no way in hell a guy that hot plays for the other team! It actually looked as if you believed it there! Seriously, I have two dads, give my gaydar some credit."

Kurt turns his face away from her chuckles, which slow down rapidly when she realises he isn't joking. Her voice goes soft. "Kurt,"

He stands up abruptly, not wanting to hear pity or how lonely he must be. "I'm going to make more popcorn. Start brainstorming ideas." He knows his voice sounds brittle and breakable but he hardens it with his Hummel determination. "It was a joke, Rachel. Let it go." He tries not to slam the microwave door. He doesn't succeed.

"Oh my gosh, Kurt! This isn't going to work."

"It'll work, Rachel. Look, the cute guy's checking out his own car engine in his driveway. Your dads' car is in your driveway, all dirty. It needs a wash, right."

"They took it to - "

"It needs a wash. So, you have a good excuse to go out there and move your body around. Come on, no straight boy could resist that." He can't help but throw in the word 'straight' hoping she'd catch a hint. She doesn't, just seems to brace herself as he shoves a bucket of soapy water and a sponge into her hands, probably just on the side of a little too rough. "Go." he says and pushes her towards the parked black car that desperately needs a change of oil.

He watches from behind the garage door as Rachel stumbles towards the car. She places the bucket on the ground and nervously dips a sponge into it. She slaps it onto the car's hood blindly as she ogled her neighbour. Kurt resisted the urge to slap himself in the face.

The next few minutes were full of second-hand embarrassment on Kurt's part and he was regretting actually sending Rachel out there. She had actually tried climbing on the car's hood when her 'sultry' car washing hadn't caught the hot guy's attention. 'Mental note:' he thought to himself 'inform Rachel that smiling like that makes her look as if she has a gastric problem. And twisting her body makes her look desperate.' He chastised himself for being so harsh on his best friend, just because she was very blunt didn't mean that he had to be that critical of her. 'She's really not that bad.' he told himself. Then, Rachel managed to slip on the soap suds on the top of the car's hood and fall onto the ground. 'Okay, I take that back.'

He's just about to run over to his unconscious friend when he sees the cute guy striding over, remnants of a smirk on his face morphing into a look of concern and amusement.

"Hey," The hot guy says loudly as he bends over Rachel and Kurt scoffs because really, to add insult to injury the cute guy's voice is smooth and effortlessly sexy. Kurt squints and sticks his head out a little more to see how Rachel's doing. She appears to be making some kissy faces on the cement, pouting her lips and twisting her head to the side. Kurt sincerely hopes she's thinking about Finn.

The hot guy just chuckles, cocking his head adorably and shaking Rachel's shoulder. Kurt sees Rachel blink her eyes open from her 'unconscious' state and giggle coyly.

"Sorry about that," she says 'shyly' and Kurt can't help but want to tape this and show it to the Glee club. Or maybe he should keep it and use it for blackmail material against Rachel whenever she gets too…eager.

He hears the words of the other boy drifting his way loud enough for him to catch. "I'm Sebastian. Sebastian Smythe." Kurt isn't sure if he's imagining it but Sebastian seems to be sending the introduction his way. Which is totally impossible because Sebastian's straight…or maybe not. He squashes down the hope rising in his chest, it never gets him anywhere anyway.

Rachel's clearly flirting with Sebastian now. Eyes batting every few seconds and she keeps giggling at everything Sebastian's saying. Kurt scowls and only twenty percent of it is caused by Rachel's terrible flirting methods.

He gets lost in thought, thinking up ways of how he might have flirted if he was in Rachel's place. He again gets interrupted by Rachel. 'Seems to be a theme.' he thinks grumpily as she tugs insistently on his arm.

"Kurt, Kurt! He's not asking for my number yet. I need to play to my strengths," Kurt groans softly, knowing what's coming. "-so I need you to accompany me on the piano." He lets his head fall against the metal partition, only lifting it hastily when he realises that there is too much accumulated dust on there that could ruin his coif.

"What song?"

"Something that focuses on my emotional depth and range and talent."

"Adele?"

"Too slow, I need something that will get him interested…how about Adam Lambert?"

"Rachel, you-"

"Are a genius!" She finishes brightly. "That will definitely get his attention! I'm thinking 'For Your Entertainment'."

Kut splutters "Rachel! I don't even think you understand how inappropriate that is! Stick to Broadway."

Rachel's face brightens "Okay! Let's do…Grease! 'There Are Worse Things I Could Do' just shows off my acting skills plus…" she waggles her eyebrows "it totally gives me a chance to seduce him. He'll be begging for my number at the end."

"Rachel," Kurt sighs, he's been saying her name a lot lately and he's starting to wonder if it's worth it. He's tempted to remind her that that particular song is sung by a girl who thinks she's pregnant, but he keeps his mouth closed. He's getting way too tired of this. "You know what, that's fine. I already know it. Let's go get your boy."

Rachel beams brightly. "Thanks Kurt!"

"But to cry in front of you," Rachel is nearly on her knees, pleading with her eyes and every dramatic bone in her body. "That's the worst thing I could…dooooooo." She wails out the last note, now collapsing onto her knees and looking up at Sebastian who isn't actually looking at her, eyes fixed instead on Kurt, slowly applauding. She doesn't notice it as she gets to her feet, confident that now is the perfect time to give Sebastian her number.

Kurt rolls his eyes as he turns around in the plush piano seat. He's sitting at a rather large piano that Rachel's dads' keep in their garage. He's learnt not to question the Berry's at times like this in fear of hearing 'It's for performances.'

He sees Rachel taking a spare piece of paper and a pen out of her pocket, using her fathers' car hood as a desk. Kurt rolls his eyes as he recalls her overdramatic performance. Whenever she sung one of the more provocative lines, she would come uncomfortably close to Sebastian and nearly rub herself up and down on him. To his credit, Sebastian hadn't run away. Instead, he almost chose to ignore it.

Kurt turned around again to come face to face with the ivory keys. He feels someone staring a hole in his back and he really hopes it isn't Rachel. Footsteps echo as they draw closer and closer to him.

"Rachel, if this is about the chord that I messed - "

"I thought you were great."

It's a male voice, low and velvety, that meets his ears instead of a higher pitched complain.

"Uhh, thanks. Shouldn't you be complimenting the singer though?" He swivels around again, raising an eyebrow as he takes in Sebastian's gorgeous face up close. His eyes are a dark grey and there is a smattering of freckles along his jawline.

"Oh…there was singing? I didn't really notice, I only have an ear for the talented players."

"Rachel is plenty talented." Kurt snaps, shifting uncomfortably. Sebastian seems to be flirting with him but that's not possible because handsome guys are supposed to be straight.

"I'm sure she is but you definitely outshine her." Sebastian's voice is teasing but just a tinge of annoyance is creeping into his words from Kurt just not getting it.

"Well…thank you, I guess."

"I'm Sebastian Smythe."

"Kurt Hummel." They shake hands and Kurt hopes that his palms aren't too sweaty and/or gross.

"So listen, I'd love to hear more of your playing sometime. I was doing my aunt's car and garden for her since I just got back from Paris and she just went there. I'm living with my dad in Westerville so maybe we could meet up even though there's a two hour- "

"I go to boarding school in Westerville!" Kurt blurts out, before clapping one of his elegant hands across his mouth. "Sorry, go on."

Sebastian's mouth twitches slightly and he grins slowly. "Well that makes it easier since I was wondering if you wanted to grab coffee sometime? Maybe after that, we could go to my place and have a play of our instruments…" His eyes roam down Kurt's body but the pale boy doesn't take notice.

"You play?"

"Oh yeah, totally. In fact, I enjoy playing very much." This time, Kurt doesn't miss the flicker of Sebastian's eyes down his body or the eye-fucking that's going on.

"Wait so - "

"Call me."

Sebastian presses a torn scrap of paper into Kurt's hand and winks lewdly before heading for the exit. Rachel stops him and they talk, Rachel looks to be on the edge of a breakdown as Sebastian seems to try and explain something. A clean scrap of paper id pressed back into her hand as Sebastian just talks languidly, gesturing with his hands and soon escaping.

Kurt doesn't miss the angry stomp of Rachel's shoes as she stalks towards him. He unfolds the paper in his hand to see a telephone number and Call me written on the top in blue pen. There's a winky face next to the words but Kurt doesn't notice as he's too busy thinking 'Rachel's gaydar was way off."

I might do a sequel of this depending on the response. For anyone who's reading 'Exchanging Hearts', the next chapters will (hopefully) be up soon...at least by next weekend...I think...I'm super sorry...I'll try?

Also, in your review, could you leave your headcanon on why Kurt doesn't see Blaine as a love interest? I'd love to hear your views.

Happy Kurtbastian & Klaine feels,

Scarlett