Just to get it out of the way now, I do not own the rights to Bungou Stray Dogs or the lovely collection of characters though sometimes I wish I did.
"I can't believe you drank my last bottle of wine!" Chuuya seethed.
"There wasn't anything else to drink~" Dazai complained.
"What do you mean there wasn't anything else to drink!?" the redhead gripped the handle on his fridge, flinging it open. Inside there were plenty of other beverages to drink. There was a half gallon of milk, a carton of orange juice, a few bottles of tea, and a variety of pop. "If you didn't want anything in there, then you could have poured yourself a goddamn glass of water!" he slammed the fridge shut.
"None of that is alcoholic," Dazai countered. "The only alcoholic beverage you had available was your precious, not that amazing, wine."
"Then why did you drink it since it isn't very amazing?" Chuuya starting tapping his foot on the tile floor impatiently.
The brunet shrugged his shoulders, "it seemed like the next best thing since you don't keep whiskey around your apartment."
"You could have went to a bar, dammit!" Chuuya slammed his fist on the marble counter. "Wait... Let me guess. You're broke, aren't you? And because you're broke you decided to get free booze elsewhere."
Dazai's grin grew tenfold once the hat rack figured out exactly what was going on. Meanwhile, Fyodor was sitting at the kitchen table, watching the argument unfold. The pair made wonderful live entertainment. He even went out of his way to rummage through Chuuya's snack cupboard in search of microwaveable popcorn. He found an unopened bag, and tossed it into the microwave. Once it was ready he sat back down with his snack in hand to watch the rest of the argument play out, but all they seemed to be doing was going back and forth without getting anywhere.
That was when the demon decided to voice his own opinion on the matter, "you guys should just kiss and make up already."
"Absolutely not. I refuse to kiss him," Chuuya looked at Fyodor while pointing in Dazai's general direction.
"That isn't what you said yesterday," Fyodor teased, waiting for Dazai's curiosity to get the better of him.
"And what exactly did Chuuya say yesterday?"
Hook line and sinker, Fyodor thought with a devious smirk plastered on his face. "To be precise..." he paused to use air quotes, "I'd let Dazai smack my peach to bruising and bang me like a screen door by a tornado." It was actually difficult for the demon to remain composed, but he managed. Once he was finished, silence filled the kitchen.
"..."
"..."
Dazai and Chuuya were equally speechless.
Fyodor tossed a few pieces of popcorn at the motionless duo. "Boo, worst movie ever. Is pleasing the audience too much to ask for?" Still no response from either of them. "Fine then, I'll be taking my leave. Update me on what I missed the next time we get together, Chuuya," the demon had the audacity to leave his snack behind as he made his exit.
"Did you really say that?" Dazai was the first to speak.
Chuuya's face was a burning ember, "I... I might have." He couldn't bring himself to look at the taller man.
The brunet walked towards the petit redhead, immediately closing the distance between them.
Suddenly, Chuuya blurted out hoarsely, "k-kiss me, you waste of bandages." So much for saying that he wouldn't.
Said waste of bandages was happy to oblige, leaning down to connect their lips together. Chuuya stood on the tips of his toes, straining to make contact. Dazai took in the adorable form of Chuuya working so hard for one kiss before pressing their lips together. It was a soft, gentle kiss. Dazai placed his hands on Chuuya's back to help steady him, drawing light circles where his shirt was hiking up. The contact caused the small redhead to gasp into the kiss, effectively breaking it.
"Will you forgive me about the wine if I smack that nice, round peach of yours, and bang you like a set of screen doors?" Dazai asked with a quirk of his eyebrow.
"Hmph," Chuuya crossed his arms, and turned his head to the side. "Maybe."
"Such a tsundere," Dazai snickered.
"What was that!?" Chuuya snapped.
The hopeless idiots were back to square one, but perhaps they were a bit more fond of each other this time around.
Author's Note: I was going to post the original prompt in the author's note, but I accidentally got rid of it on my Pinterest board before I could. -sweat drop- Anyways, here's the first installment of Soukoku Tales. I hope anyone that decided to check it out enjoyed. I have no idea when the next installment will be or what prompt I'm going to use, but rest assured this fic is only getting started because I have so many freaking prompts I saved. The crazy part is, I thought all of the prompts were on Pinterest, but it turns out I even have a handful saved to my computer. What the heck is wrong with me? I would also like to note that the reason why Fyodor is Person C is because he is my favorite antagonist so I figured, why not?