HOLLYWOOD
April 30, 2000
Zzzt … couple zzzt … missing zzzt … triangle zzzt.
Mulder pounded the radio again, but it didn't improve the reception any. He adjusted the tuner until the traffic light turned green.
They had travelled a few blocks before Scully suddenly blurted out, "Mulder, stop the car!"
"What is it, Scully?"
Mulder looked at the bowler-shaped structure that Scully was pointing to.
"I don't know why, but I think we should go inside," she said.
The maître d' welcomed them inside The Brown Derby.
"This way, please," he said to the two agents.
Mulder and Scully were ushered into the main dining room, where a well-manicured man and elegantly-attired woman were waiting for them at a festively-dressed table.
Mulder immediately recognized the man.
"Remington Steele!"
He extended his hand out in greeting to the famed detective.
Another fan, thought Laura, who instinctively shielded her face in embarrassment. To her relief, Mr. Steele was not accosted for an autograph. In fact, he seemed to recognize the newcomer, shaking the man's hand amicably."
"Fox Mulder!" Steele exclaimed.
"Do you know me, sir?" Mulder said, a blush creeping up his cheeks.
"From the cinema, naturally," said Steele, "the movie based on your exploits didn't do you justice."
The reference to the recent film, about the case of the Lazarus bowl, made Mulder laugh uncharacteristically.
Steele then shifted his gaze towards Scully.
"And this lovely vision in black must be Agent Dana Scully."
Scully shook hands with Steele, who then introduced the FBI agents to his partner, Laura Holt.
Following a series of 'hellos' and 'how do you dos', they all settled at the table and the first course was served. In honor of the visitors from Washington, DC, a clam bisque was chosen.
Mr. Steele was fairly engrossed in Mulder's account of the vegetarian zombie players on the film set, as the entrees arrived.
"He actually said that people were made out of turkey?" said Steele.
Two waiters served the ladies the fish, before they brought the gentlemen their roast squabs. Scully was about to comment on the rawness of the fillet, when she noticed the frozen expression on her partner's face. He was seated across from her, so his blank stare was quite evident. It could not be mistaken for his usual deadpan demeanor.
"Mulder, is everything alright?"
He didn't respond.
"Mulder!"
Registering Scully's alarm, Laura faced left to look at Agent Mulder and then across the table at her own partner, who wore an expression of shock.
"Mr. Steele?"
Scully shook Steele, who was equally unresponsive.
Just then, the scene beyond the dinner table shimmered to reveal the darkened interiors of an otherworldly dimension. In quick succession, Mulder and Steele dematerialized and the two servers were replaced by two alien-looking astronauts, complete with helmets.
Arms outreached, these menacing beings began closing in on Scully and Laura.
Scully removed her sidearm from its holster.
"Arm yourself," she told Laura.
Unlike the restaurant itself, the dining room furniture remained intact. So Laura smashed her chair and picked up the heaviest piece of wood for a weapon.
As their attackers moved like mindless automatons, they did not react immediately to the women's sudden movements, allowing them time to slip away to safety.
Scully led Laura by the hand to hide in a recess in one of the branching corridors, to assess their situation.
"What is going on, Agent Scully?" Laura said in a hushed tone.
Scully considered for a moment how much to reveal to her companion without sounding incredulous.
"As Mulder would say, 'We are not alone.' But I am less inclined to believe in extraterrestrials," Scully explained, "One thing is for certain."
"What's that?"
"This is not the Brown Derby," Scully said.
She took a peep up and down the corridor. There was no sign of the alien beings.
"C'mon. We have to find Mulder and your Mr. Steele."
Thinking it safe to come out from hiding, they went to find their partners. What they were not aware of was the surveillance drone that was tracking their every move.
They arrived at a branch in the corridor, when Laura grabbed Scully's elbow.
"Shhh. Did you hear that?" said Laura.
"No," said Scully, "What did you hear."
"A kind of humming."
Scully listened intently. A short time later, the humming grew loud enough for her to hear as well. It was definitely mechanical and becoming higher in pitch.
Within seconds, laser beams shot out at them. The borage was rather imprecise. Every burst missing them. All it did was caused a great deal of structural debris to fall on top of them.
The women were practically buried when the laser attack ceased at last. Scully extracted herself from a metal beam. When Laura was nowhere in sight, she began clearing the rubble around her.
At last, Scully found Laura curled up in a fetal position, underneath a big pile of sheet rock. She was barely conscious and bleeding.
"Ow!"
"Hold still," Scully said, as she probed Laura for more injuries. "I'm a doctor."
She was relieved to find no more. It was just the cut on her forehead, which was not very deep. Removing her jacket, Scully took off her blouse and then tore it into strips to use as a bandage for Laura.
Confident the bleeding has stopped, Scully eased Laura up to a sitting position.
"Thank you, Agent Scully."
"It's Dana," Scully corrected the detective.
"Dana, you are a doctor and a G-woman?." Scully nodded.
"I don't know if I should feel envious or awe. You don't know how hard I have to work to even get ahead as a private investigator."
Putting her jacket on again, Scully smiled at the compliment.
"It hadn't been all sunny days for me either, Miss Holt."
"Call me Laura, please," Laura corrected the FBI agent.
"I still have to work hard to earn the respect and trust from my colleagues, Laura. Not only is my work in the paranormal ridiculed at times, I am put down regularly as a woman as well."
This time, they both heard the screaming somewhere up ahead.
With Scully's support, Laura regained her footing.
"Let's split up," suggested Laura.
Scully pointed to something on the ground.
"We will meet back right here when we find anything," said Scully, "I don't think they will hit us here anymore."
Looking at the mangled remains of the lasers cannons, Laura nodded in agreement.
Scully headed for the corridor on the left, as Laura took the one on the right.
Having nothing to defend herself with, Laura crept along cautiously. The corridor was empty aside from doors aligning one side. Laura saw that the doors had no handles and didn't know how they opened.
After passing three such doors, the fourth parted open automatically, as Laura approached. Given little option she stepped in.
Once inside, the door whooshed shut behind her. Laura was in complete darkness save for clicking noises, which led her to an antechamber, where she found Agent Mulder.
The federal agent was strapped to a slab, completely naked.
Laura checked for a pulse. She was relieved to find that he was alive, however his unconscious state was still a cause for concern.
She quickly undid his bindings. Before she did anything else, Laura used her skirt to protect the man's dignity.
Under normal conditions, Laura would not be able to support Mulder's weight. But she had been functioning on adrenaline since this whole incident began.
She backtracked to the entrance, somewhat surprised to see the door opening for them. But that wasn't going to stop her in her tracks. She and her charge arrived at the branching corridor in time to see Dana Scully emerged from the other corridor.
"I found your partner," both women said in unison.
It had not escape Scully's notice that her partner was wearing nothing but a skirt.
Dana, who Laura noted, was at least two inches shorter than her was managing with Mr. Steele. She gestured for Laura to join her.
"I think I found the exit. Let's go."
Scully led them through a doorway at the end of the other corridor. They emerged into some kind of hangar deck with a breathtaking view of the stars.
"As you can see, we are in outer space," said Scully.
Before they could take steps to possible exit, they were bathed in a bright blinding light.
Somewhere in time, space and dimension, two humans are huddling in the darkness.
"Mr. Steele."
"Yes, Laura?"
"Where do you suppose we are?"
"I hope it's in the belly of a whale."
In the absence of light, they took some comfort in an embrace, to feel each others palpitations, warm breath, and every touch.
"Laura, what happened to your dress?"
In the car, on their way to the airport.
"Mulder."
Mulder took a moment to make sure his shirt was still on.
"Yeah, Scully?"
"Do you remember how we got back in the car?"
Thinking about it, Mulder chewed on his lower lip.
"No."
They exchanged worried glances.
On the Tribune, Evening Edition, the headline read: 'LOST IN THE BERMUDA TRIANGLE: FAMED LOS ANGELES COUPLE STILL MISSING. Photos of Remington Steele and Laura Holt accompanied the lead story.
Author's Note: It is highly likely there will be another encounter with Steele and Laura in The X-Files: Triangle.