I opened my eyes, but quickly decided the sun was too bright to keep them open. I forced them shut, groaned and rolled over on my side. It took me a second to realize I had let Simon sleep with me the night before. His dark locks reminded me when my hand slightly caught in it while I was turning. I then remembered what made Simon want to sleep with me; nightmares.
The brunette explained the nightmares of the beast, only they weren't as the other boys described it. Simon described it as a fire that never lost its flame, a dark hole with no ending. It was inside all of us, Simon explained, even inside of himself. I couldn't really grasp it all, though I tried to understand it.
How could a beast live I the most innocent, sweetest boy I had ever known, and how could it be inside of every human being? Would it be like in the shows I used to watch back home on the telly? When a character couldn't make a decision, there would be an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other shoulder. Yes, this must be what Simon dreamt of. It's only the bad conscience that many choose to agree with.
I heard Simon yawn and cuddle into my chest. "Good morning," I laughed. Simon's skin felt nice against mine, it was so soft and warm... I decided to wrap my arms around his small frame.
"Good morning to you," his words were no louder than a delicate whisper and I just loved it. I loved that Simon's sweet words were only audible to me, I loved that his tanned fingers were tracing mine, and I loved Simon. I was too scared to tell him, though. What if Simon didn't love me back? He did come to me over anyone else when he was scared, though. Also, Simon never cuddled himself up with anyone but me. Still, telling Simon I loved him was too serious. It was too risky to tell him, if I wasn't sure Simon loved me back. I couldn't imagine the reaction he might have. It made me cringe.
"Ralph?" Simon mumbled aloud, his voice a bit raspy.
"Mhmm?" I said keeping my eyes closed.
"Have you… Well up until recently I had never…" Simon ended his hesitation with a frustrated sigh.
I opened my eyes to look at his face, his eyes were now concentrated on mine. This particular choir boy was typically good with words so his stumbling around made me wonder what was going on inside that little head of his.
"Never mind," he sighed giving up on this thought.
I didn't want to push it out of him because I knew how he got when he was frustrated. I only pulled him closer and let him glide his fingers up and down my back. I bit my lip when his touch sent chills up my neck. I wanted so bad to kiss him, just to see what he would do. Half of me didn't care of the consequences, because half of me agreed with that small devil on my shoulder. Just like the one in Simon's dream.
I pushed Simon away from me a bit so that we were face to face. I didn't want to wonder a moment longer what it felt like to kiss Simon's sweet lips. I didn't want to wonder what he thought of me anymore, I wanted to know.
"What are you-" Simon looked worried.
Quickly so that he couldn't have time to think about it, I let my lips do as they pleased. I kissed him with more passion than I had actually imagined, and Simon was kissing me back. First the kiss was soft and slow but lust took over the both of us and the kiss got faster, and harder. Of all the times I had imagined kissing him, I had never imagined it to be like this. His fingers were entangled in the hair at the nape of my neck and I felt Simon climb on top of me. Just as quickly as the kiss had started, the kiss ended.
"Ralphy," Simon whispered into my chest.
"Yeah?" I was terrified and I hoped to god I didn't upset him. My heart kept beating faster than it should have.
"I love you," he stated so vehemently. His words were like nothing I had ever known, and it made my heart stop in its tracks. I almost forgot to reply until I felt his thumb patiently stroking my cheek.
"I love you too, Simon," my voice sounded so pathetic compared to his; soft and flowing like velvet. He just smiled in return, but stayed silent. I didn't need words to know that what I said affected him; I could see it on his smiling face.
"If we left this island tomorrow, would you still love me back home?" I almost laughed at how ridiculous his question was.
"Of course I would!"
"Do you promise?" Simon's eyes were pleading and I tried to think of an explanation that proved my love to him in words that made sense.
"I promise, Simon. I really don't know how I could ever stop loving you. Ever since I saw you for the first time, I've loved you. Your dazzling smile and bright green eyes blew me away." Simon looked up at me smiling. "Then you fainted." He giggled and playfully hit me. Then he went back to resting his head on my chest. I kissed his dark hair and closed my eyes smiling like an idiot. Simon loved me, and that was all that mattered to me. I lied there with him for a bit wondering if he now knew how much I really, truly did love him back.