A/N: This is my very first Hetalia fanfiction, but I've written for other fandoms in the past. I hope that you enjoy it!

I DO NOT OWN HETALIA (though I totally wish I did)

Ludwig's POV

I paused just before setting my foot on the marble steps of The Hetalia Academy for Refined Young Men, sighing deeply.

A year ago, my brother, Gilbert, accidentally set the chemistry lab on fire for the third time, which finally led to his expulsion from our high school. Honestly, I was just surprised that he lasted so long. He hid a llama in the vice principal's office his freshman year. The year after that he managed to get the school infested with an entire hive of bees after one of his "hilarious" pranks went wrong. When our parents finally received the letter from the principal confirming his ejection, they just shrugged and sent him off to boarding school.

Gilbert, of course, was horrified by the idea.

Becoming a "refined young man" was as unappealing to him as eating nothing but toothpaste for a month, but he had no choice in the manner. Gil was constantly complaining about how he would have to wear a tie, that there'd be no girls, that all of the guys there would be sissies… I learned to drown out the majority of his grumbling eventually, but he would just speak louder and louder until I had to throw a wurst at his head. That usually shut him up.

Once my brother had finally left for boarding school, I received an inbox full of texts from him every day after school. It started out as more complaints, which I promptly deleted, but later his mood seemed to rise. He made two new friends, Antonio and Francis, who sounded downright awful from Gilbert's descriptions. They were always sneaking out late at night and stealing food from the school cafeteria, or throwing wild parties in their dorm rooms on the weekends.

Of course, what he told my parents was the complete opposite. They would receive a weekly letter from him describing his "newfound pleasure in formal dress" or his "enjoyment of reading the riveting classics in language arts".

It made me want to vomit.

Nevertheless, my parents believed every word that he wrote. In fact, they were SO excited about this school that they signed me up for the following semester. Now I get to experience the joy of spending every day with my brother and his psychotic friends until summer vacation sets me free from the insanity.

"HEY, THERE'S MY LITTLE BRO!"

I glanced up, a scowl set on my face. Gil was leaning against one of the pillars, his tie loosened, and his pale hair sticking out all over the place. Behind him were two guys: one had brown hair and was munching on a tomato, and the other had shoulder-length blonde hair and wore a devious smirk.

I marched up the steps, praying that Gilbert wasn't going to ruin my chances at enjoying myself at this school. "Hey, bruder. I guess it's time to see my room…"

"You'll love it, Ludwig! It's got a shelf for all those crap books you read, a TV, and the BEST roommates you'll ever meet!"

"Gott…"

"That's right: you're rooming with the three of us! Let's go, little bro!"

Gilbert slung his arm around my shoulders as we entered, Antonio and Francis slinking in behind us. Just before we reached the stairs, Francis commented, "Hey, did you hear the rumor? People are saying that a bunch of girls are coming to stay in the left wing of the building, and that's why it's off limits!"

"Ah, don't fool yourself, Francis," Antonio laughed while shoving him to the side. "That's just a bunch of senseless gossip."

Feliciana's POV

"WHAT? Why the hell would they relocate our school?"

I cringed at my sister's language, nervously peeking at her enraged expression. She had been yapping to her American friend the entire car ride, completely ignoring the fact that I, her sister, was right next to her.

Clearing my throat, I dared to speak. "Ve, Lovina? What is going on?"

She cupped her hand over the phone before she replied. "Alex just told me that our headmaster sent a memo a few minutes ago saying that The Hetalia Academy for Refined Young Women has been relocated! Apparently the building down in Florida was somehow infested with a bunch of rats, but they hadn't been discovered until the janitors tried to clean the basement a couple of days ago!"

"Moved to where," I prodded, but Lovina had already returned to her phone conversation. She was speaking rapid fire Italian/English, mostly cursing the rats and the janitors and the headmaster for God knows what reason. Only one of her hands was on the wheel and she wasn't focusing too hard on her driving, so the car would swerve madly every 20 seconds. My hands were gripping the arm rests so firmly that me knuckles turned white.

"Please, God, I am just a helpless Italian virgin! Don't let my sister's reckless driving kill me tonight! I'll make pasta for the homeless! I'll never lie again in my life! I'll even become a nun! Wait… God, are nuns allowed to eat pasta? Or pizza? Please tell me that I can eat pasta and pizza!"

"Feli, I'm on the phone, Dammit! Just shut it for a moment, would you?"

"I apologize for my sister's language, God!"

"FELI!"

"Sorry!"

Lovina rolled her eyes and returned to her conversation. "Yeah, I know, whose idea was it to relocate one day before the next term started? Where the hell is it anyway?"

I leaned towards my sister, trying to listen in to the reply. Her friend, Alex, speaks so loud anyway, so it shouldn't be much of a problem.

All I heard was an incomprehensible rush of words fly from her mouth (no doubt she was stuffing her face with fast food at the same time), but it was enough for Lovina. "NO WAY! NO FU-"

"LOVI!"

"-CKING WAY! WHY WOULD THEY DO THAT?! ARE THEY INSANE?!"

Lovina spouted off another string of curses before finally hanging up. We were now going about 15 miles per hour above the speed limit, and my face was whiter than mozzarella cheese. After 5 minutes of her mumbling more foul language, my sister finally cooled down and slowed down her driving back to a legal speed.

"Guess where we've been moved," she muttered, venom seeping in her voice.

I gulped. "W-where?" I sunk my hand into my purse and gripped my white flag just in case.

Her amber eyes darted towards mine. "We're moving to the boys' school."

I paused, my mouth agape. Boys? As in… men? As in girls and boys living in the same building? My face reddened just at the thought of it.

"What?! Wouldn't that be inappropriate?"

She shrugged and gripped the steering wheel tighter. "Well, the girls' school was infested with rodents somehow, so there's no place else to go. The principal has reassured us that we get all of the dorms on the left side of the building and the guys will stay on the right, but we'll have to fit several girls to a room. A lot of people are dropping out because of the change, anyway."

A million questions were running through my head, but if I bombarded Lovi with them, she wouldn't hesitate to strangle me. I decided that only one last inquiry remained important.

"… Will they reduce our food portions? You know, because of all the extra people?"

Lovina lulled her head and sighed deeply. "If those bastards do, then I promise I'll steal us some from the kitchens, okay?"

"Yaaay, Lovi! You're the best sister ever!"

"Stop hugging me, Feliciana."

A/N: OKAAAY! So, how was it? Hopefully my future chapters will be longer and less boring…

Thanks for reading! I love reviews (hint hint), so if you have any compliments or criticisms, I'd like to hear them!

HASTALAPASTA~