~*She Who Fights Monsters*~
"Strength of character means the ability to overcome resentment against others, to hide hurt feelings, and to forgive quickly."
~*X*~
Brave Vesperia. The brightest star in the sky.
For some reason, seeing it didn't fill her with hope or courage. It just made her feel sick to her stomach.
Sodia stared listlessly at the heavens as if the sweeping violet expanse could answer her questions that were really more of accusations for herself. Some of the stars were blotted out altogether by the ominous shape of the Adephagos, an eldritch monstrosity that rippled thickly as if it were made out of dark jelly.
The guild of Yuri Lowell and his friends…they were staying here in Aurnion for the night, and then they'd make the short two day or so journey to Tarqaron to challenge Duke for mankind's right to live in the world.
And herself? She was on guard duty.
Sodia sighed and leaned against one of the wooden posts of the small village, her violet eyes narrowed to bright slits. There were plenty of monsters lumbering about in the semi-darkness just beyond the torchlight, but none of them came close enough for her to actually need to draw her sword. Despite how tired she was from patrol earlier, insane guilt over what she had done to the Commander's best friend gifted her with a strange, frantic energy.
Toying with the edges of her braid, she impassively continued to observe the comings and goings of the creatures in the grass plains across from her.
She wasn't a bad person, really she wasn't, but she had a tendency of letting her temper get the best of her. That same temper had almost cost the Commander's best friend his life, and yet that same best friend wouldn't turn her in like any sensible person. He remained stubbornly quiet over who his would-be murderer was.
But…but…why? Had she somehow caused Lowell brain damage while she was at it? Was that even possible when it came to chest wounds…? Did he hit his head on the way down, maybe?
While Sodia puzzled over this very strange decision of Yuri's, the aforementioned vigilante—along with the Princess Estellise—came walking through the front gates of Aurnion with their eyes trained on each other, having some sort of soft conversation.
Since Sodia had just very recently taken over as the nighttime guard, she supposed they must have left before she had reported for duty. She watched them as they passed, but her curiosity was literally burning her up inside until she could stand it no longer.
"Y-Yuri Lowell?" She stammered, fingers knitting themselves together tightly.
She heard their footsteps came to a halt. "Yeah?" He replied in his ever lazy tone.
"Can you spare a moment?" She inquired uneasily.
Yuri glanced at his companion. "Estelle, I've got a feeling this will take a while. Go back to the inn, I'll catch up."
She nodded. Turning to Sodia, she dipped down in a quick bow in way of farewell. To Yuri she added, "Don't talk too long, you need your rest too!"
Sodia blinked, the anxiety in the princess's voice sounded bizarrely like how she herself sounded when she was worrying about the Commander…"I'll keep it brief," she assured Lady Estellise.
Yuri gazed after Estelle as she headed off for a few moments, and then he placed one hand on his hip and heaved a deep, theatrical sigh. "What do you want now?" His black eyes lost the uncharacteristic warmth they had had seconds ago.
Sodia tried not to flinch, and wasn't entirely certain she succeeded. "I—" She started, only to be interrupted by a sharp gesture from Lowell.
"Follow me." Without waiting for her response, he turned and strode away. Sodia hovered uncertainly at the gate, reluctant to leave her post, but to her surprise one of the Flynn Brigade soldiers came to her rescue.
"You go," he grunted, hefting his sword onto one shoulder. "I'll cover for you."
She flashed him a grateful look before hurrying after Yuri. The vigilante had opted to go into one of the drinking establishments that had been constructed in the village for the workers to rest in. It was still open, unsurprisingly, since it also hosted a lot of the Flynn Brigade when they were off-duty. Sodia loathed places like this, since rowdy pubs were generally unpleasant to her, but Lowell seemed right at home.
He slid into one of the hastily constructed booths that lined the walls and she sat across from him, glad that he had picked a deserted corner. He propped his chin on his hand and stared at her levelly.
Sodia endeavored to find her voice, and succeeded, though she sounded more hesitant than she would have liked. "I'm…I am aware that apologies mean nothing, but—"
"If apologies mean nothing, why are you about to give me one?" Yuri interrupted quietly.
Her words caught in her throat and she found a sudden morbid fascination in a whorl in the woodwork of the table. "You're right, of course. I imagine what I'm trying to say, is—"
"You're feeling guilty and you want me to make you feel better by accepting your apology?"
This time, she did flinch. "N-No…" Yes. "No." She lifted her chin a bit, a small twinge of anger restoring some of her old posture. "I've been thinking about you, Yuri Lowell, and now I think I understand why you haven't turned me in."
His dark eyebrows rose. "Really?" He asked wryly.
"You're a vigilante. A criminal with good intentions, illegally dirtying his own hands for the sake of others…as impossible as that seems…And I gave you a taste of your own medicine."
Yuri actually chuckled a bit. "Is that what you think?" He said neutrally, but she noticed that the obsidian of his eyes flashed. Leaning back in his seat, he crossed his arms and blinked thoughtfully. "Sodia, are you familiar with the phrase 'battle not with monsters, lest you become a monster'?"
She was. Sodia nodded slowly. "I'm no better than you, Lowell, though I must admit that I'm surprised you know that phrase at all."
He smirked. "I heard it from Estelle." Rising from his seat, Yuri indicated the door with the sheathe of his sword. "Now, if you don't mind, I'm going to get some rest. If you really want to try and make up for this, go be useful to Flynn and stop bothering me over this every other day. Alright?"
Sodia felt her face heat up. "R-Right. My…my apologies."
In response, he waved a hand at her in a gesture that could have been either dismissive or it could have simply meant good bye. He left without another word.
She imagined that, even if she lived to be one hundred, she'd never understand the inner workings of the mind of Yuri Lowell.
~*X*~
She had to tell the Commander. There really was nothing else to it.
Sodia bit her lip, hard, shoulders hunched as she stood outside the Commander's room at the inn. This secret of hers was a poisonous one, a deadly one. Though Lowell—though Yuri would never tell anyone, trying to hide something like attempted murder…it'd never last for long.
Slowly, very slowly, she raised her fist and tapped the door. It was either very early morning or really late at night, but regardless of the exact time, it was a stupid hour in the day to be pestering the Commander. He'd likely be cross with her…
To her shock, the door swung open as if he had been expecting her. The Commander was bleary eyed due to lack of sleep, but somehow he still focused on her and managed a smile. "Sodia? Is something wrong?"
"Commander, what are you doing awake at this hour?" She asked incredulously before she could stop herself.
He stepped aside slightly to show her the interior of his small room, and she saw some paperwork on a desk near his bed. "I could ask you the same question," he said in a slightly teasing manner.
Sodia swallowed hard, her heart thundering so loudly in her chest that she couldn't believe that the Commander didn't hear it. "I have something important to tell you, sir. W-Would you mind coming with me?"
She saw something flit through the blue of his eyes, but it was gone so fast that she didn't have time to read it. "Of course."
She did an about-face and walked with slightly trembling steps out of the inn and down the pathways of Aurnion. She wanted privacy, desperately, and the best place for that was outside the town. The Commander didn't react at all to their leaving Aurnion, and she realized miserably that it was because he…he trusted her…!
Once they were alone on the grass plains (which were gorgeously painted with silver moonlight) she turned back to him and took in a deep breath like it would be her last. "Sir…"
"You don't look well, Sodia." The Commander told her, concerned. "And we're not on duty, you can call me Flynn."
Sodia closed her eyes. It was easier if she didn't have to meet the kindness of his gaze. "I know who attempted to take the life of Yuri Lowell back at Zaude."
She distinctly heard his breath hitch. "You do? Who was it?" He demanded urgently.
"It was…me. The bloody dagger found at the crime scene…was mine." The words felt like thorns coming out of her throat, but she knew that a secret like this couldn't be allowed to sit and fester. If the Commander—if Flynn—didn't find out himself, she'd go mad from the guilt of harboring it. It'd poison their friendship, their relationship, if they even had one to contaminate. Maybe it was just wishful thinking on her part.
Disbelief. Blatant disbelief. "What?"
Sodia forced her eyes open, though she still couldn't look at him. She focused on a point of starlight over his left shoulder that glinted like a chip of ice against a black sea. "I remember feeling…every time you had a conversation with him, with Yuri, you were always shaken. Whatever he said to you always made you more hesitant. I didn't…like that, since what you…you're doing, it's the right way to change things." She shook her head. "Sir, I know I'm…I'm a traitor, a criminal. Do with me what you will."
She unstrapped her sword from her waist, a beautiful dark weapon in an elaborate sheathe, and knelt before him on bended knee. She offered him her family heirloom. "I resign from the Flynn Brigade on account of treason against you and the laws of the Empire," she said miserably.
"Sodia…" Her name was laced with a dozen different emotions, but prominently she heard anger, even astonishment. She didn't even have to look at him, because she knew what he looked like. An angel of death, beautiful but terrifying. His fingers closed around her sword and relieved her of its weight. She kept her head bowed, crouched before him like a commoner although she herself was from the nobility quarter in Zaphias.
Her blood turned as cold as the Antarctic as she heard the slow, ominous slide of steel emerging from its covering.
"The penalty for attempted murder is death. Yuri would very well be dead if Duke hadn't saved him, or so he told me." Flynn remarked so quietly she scarcely heard over the pounding of her own heart.
"I understand," she choked out, squeezing her eyes shut tight. Darkness claimed her vision and she waited for the descent of her own sword against her exposed neck. Abruptly, she decided she didn't want the inside of her lids to be the last thing she saw. She reopened them and focused instead on the grass between her clenched fingers. The green had never seemed more enchanting than now.
The seconds seemed to stretch for an impossible length of time. Then—
Sodia heard two low thumps, though one was much heavier than the other. For a wild second, she imagined she had heard her own head hit the ground, then her body. But no, when she looked, she could hardly believe her eyes.
Her sheathe. And her sword. They were both right beside her.
Flynn spoke again. "…I would very well be dead, if you hadn't saved me."
Swallowing past the painful lump in her throat, she dared to glance up at him. "Sir?" She inquired tentatively.
His entire body was rigid, and she knew he was mad, impossibly mad. His voice was taut, but when he addressed her, it was in a calm tone. "We've fought together many times, Sodia, and you've saved me before."
"I…" Oh, he wasn't going to kill her…? It seemed too good to be true.
Flynn averted his eyes when she tried to meet his gaze, turning to the side a little. "I need time to think. But I could never hurt you, let alone kill you. Pick up your sword."
She did as she was told out of instinct more than anything else. She put her weapon back on her waist where it belonged, getting to her feet. "I'm so sorry, Commander."
He sounded a bit exasperated. "Flynn."
"Flynn," she swiftly amended.
He was staring so intently at something behind her that she actually rotated around to look for the subject of his interest, but she saw nothing but the Adephagos and its many unearthly tentacles in the night sky. A few monsters were slinking around in the shadows, but all was well for the moment.
"You may go now, Sodia."
She inclined her head. "Yes, Com—Flynn."
In her opinion, she couldn't run away fast enough.
~*X*~
Flynn wasn't entirely sure how much sleep he had gotten in the last two days. He imagined somewhere between four and six hours, but it was impossible to be precise about trivial stuff like that.
It was early in the morning, and the horizon was beginning to tinge itself a pleasant shade of apple red and creamy peach. Witcher was chatting with Rita about their special formula the pair of them had put together. The female mage didn't seem too thrilled about something "Apple-Head" was saying about her hypothesis, because a fireball came flying by the Commandant's head just as he stepped out of the inn.
"Careful! These buildings are flammable!" Flynn scolded, earning a pissed off look from Rita that clearly said, I don't care.
His head was still whirling about the revelation of Sodia's murder attempt, and he couldn't figure out why Yuri would stay silent on the matter. However, he decided to ask his old friend about that later. He made sure to see Yuri, Lady Estellise, Repede, Karol, Rita, Judith, and Raven off on their journey first before he went about his usual duties. When he found Sodia doing her customary thing—directing his troops in his absence—he didn't say a word about it and let her continue doing just that.
Flynn wanted to discuss with Sodia exactly what he planned to do about her little vigilante attempt to take Yuri's life, but he wanted to do it without disrupting the balance of Aurnion. After all, keeping the peace and protecting the citizens came first. So after a conversation with His Highness Ioder, he went to find Sodia during an afternoon break in her shift.
High ranking members of his guard had personal rooms at the inn, and Sodia was no exception. He rapped sharply on her door, and she opened it after about twenty or so seconds had passed. He could tell from how she was busily redoing the braid of her orangeish hair—and the absence of the armor over her clothes—that she had probably just stepped out of the shower.
Upon recognizing him, she stiffened, and hastily finished her braid before saluting smartly, standing at attention. "C-Commander, if I had known you were coming, I'd have—"
Weirdly, the first thing Flynn thought was—Yuri was right, her eyes are catlike…
"Would you mind coming to take a walk with me, Sodia?" He asked lightly, as if this was just one of their usual easy strolls.
"Of course…sir." She trailed behind him as they left the inn and exited from Aurnion once more. He took them back to the same specific spot where she had confessed her crime to him, and he turned to face her as she came to a halt. She looked a lot smaller without her armor.
For the longest time, Flynn had really liked her. Though she was a stern, no nonsense type of girl, she was also pretty clever and even funny at times if she ever stopped being formal. He knew this from conversations with her in the past—others would not be so aware of such things. Her bravery and steadfast loyalty rivaled his own, but he never imagined that her loyalty to him would make her attempt to kill someone just because she thought he was a bad influence. It was an act done with good intentions but ultimately…
Well, the only reason he wasn't going to at least fire her was because he could tell she was genuinely sorry and regretting her choice. This would explain why she had been so out of sorts ever since Zaude, but he had never suspected her to be a murderer.
"You don't have to look so worried. I'm not taking you off my Brigade," he informed her.
Her purple eyes flickered to his, then away again. "I'm honored, Commander."
"Sodia, I want you to know, if that's how you really feel about Yuri—"
"I feel differently now, sir."
"Really? And why's that?"
Sodia shifted her feet. "I've taken some time to step back and examine things from a different perspective."
"Regardless of how you feel now, for future reference, come talk to me before you act. Understand?"
"I understand, Commander."
"And how many times do I have to say 'Flynn' before you call me that?"
"I'm still technically on duty, sir."
Flynn sighed deeply, and he glimpsed the corner of her lips twitching up slightly. "You're not making fun of me, are you?" He asked suspiciously, though with good humor.
"Never, Commander."
"I think my trust in you has been broken," he said, all business now. All signs of a smile on her face vanished. "But…I want to be able to trust you again."
"I won't disappoint you again, Commander Flynn."
He took one good, long look at Sodia, watching how the light in her eyes blazed amethyst. "No," he commented softly. "I don't think you will."
Author's Note: Sorry for any extreme OOC-ness, I'm trying to get the hang of writing Vesperia stuff. Just a random one-shot I put together while I'm sick as a dog with the flu. Reviews are appreciated.