This is just a little oneshot I decided to write before I continue on my other stories. Enjoy!
To be a Hero
Have you ever seen those cartoons? You know, the ones where there's a villan that captures a girl and then there's a hero that tries to save her. The hero saves her with his amazing super powers and most likely kills the villian. Then, the girl loves him forever and the hero gets praise and glory. Most people gawk at how brave he was and how he wasn't scared.
Have you seen them? I sure have. As a kid, I would be amazed at their bravery. At how they weren't scared. And how they saved the day so easily. I would tell Tom that I wanted to be a super hero when I grew up and he would just laugh and ruffle my hair and tell me that the t.v was fake and that wasn't what happened in real life.
I'm still amazed. But, no I'm not amazed at what they do. I'm amazed at the fact that I was so stupid as a kid. How could I be so naive, so foolih as to think that would be a good life? Now, as the war goes on, I wish I was back in the old days. Back when I wanted to be a hero.
But, of course, they don't show it. The movie doesn't show when our hero is scared peeless just thinking at what was about to happen. No, they actually make it seem like they're not scared. Like, they're invinsible. They're not.
I know. I know what it's like to be inches away from death. I've seen my life flash through my mind seconds before one of my friends came and rescued me. You're scared. It's just a kind of helplessness that's so strong, it eats you alive. It's a hole pierced in your heart, that you just can't seem to get rid off. Instead it grows bigger and bigger swallowing you whole. And if being brave means that you're not scared to face death, than I'm the wimpiest person in the universe.
They don't show when our hero has to make life or death decisions that tear him apart. They don't see that inside, our hero is dying, hoping, begging for everyone to come out alive. People don't know that in reality, their hero just wants to back to bed, curl into a ball, and lie there crying until somebody fixes everything. They want their hero to be strong. To be indestructable, when in reality, the hero is just a regular person with the stupid luck of having super powers.
They don't show how disgusted the hero is at himself when he has to make a kill. No, they make him glad that he did. They don't show how the hero has to go home with the guilt of murder. They don't show how our hero beats himself in the head, wondering if he could've done better. They don't show how everyone stares at you, silently blaming you. They know they shouldn't, and they don't tell you, but people still wonder.
They don't show how the hero sometimes can't save everyone. I sure can', they're physically alive and healthy, but... But they're not. I couldn't save Rachel from herself. I couldn't save Tobias from torture, just like I couldn't save Marco from trying to murder his own mother. I can't save Ax from the choice he has to make between us and people. And my girl. My Cassie... I, I can't seem to save her from anything. I can't save her from herself, or her actions, or her friends. And I can't save her from me. I can't save her from all that hurt I've caused her. And then there's Tom. It would be so easy to save him. Just three days. Three days and he's saved. Saved from something that he didn't even know existed. But I can't. I can't because it would ruin everything. It would expose us, and I can't have that. I can't save my brother from a freaking slug.
So, no. We're not heroes. We're just kids. Kids who got thrown into this war. Kids who go to school, and date, and cry, and have families. Kids who dream. Kids who want to grow up, and want to get married, and have kids.
But yet, even though we don't want to, even though we're scared, we fight. We fight because we have to. Because we've got no choice and we have to rescue humanity. Maybe that makes us heroes.