Author's Note: I just stared writing again recently so this might be a little rusty, sorry, but please bear with me. It'll get better, I promise!

Sweetened Pain

There was something in his voice. Some deep tone, and hint of a boy I used to remember. A laugh. The boy took shape. A chuckle. He appeared before me, his features defined, his face recognizable. An eighteen-year-old boy in a Raven's jersey, holding a baby, kissing his forehead. My image blurred and changed. A young man, the baby a toddler, the jersey now read DUKE. And then it faded.

I was scared to turn around. Scared to turn around and face my past, face the memories, face the pain. The room was brimming with light chatter, the clinking of wine glasses, and the scrap of chairs. I could slip out unnoticed, narrowly missing another collision with the forgotten. But my body was unable to move, my head and heart in and internal battle, both wielding weapons and shields. His voice sounded so close, as if he were whispering in my ear, my body shivered at the though and my neck strained with the pressure of not craning to take a peak.

"Haley?" I exhaled, not realizing I'd been holding my breath and looked up. Brielle had touched my hand and was starring at me intently, "Are you okay? You're really pale." I shook my head, my thoughts scattering and sat up.

"Brielle." She nodded, "Don't scream ok?" Another nod, "Nathan's at the table behind me." Her head shot up and I sighed sarcastically at my obvious friend. She spotted him, mostly from the dozen's of pictures I'd shown her.

"That's him?" she hissed between her teeth, flinging a slight nod his way. I nodded, sinking lower into my seat.

"We need to go," I mouthed to her, praying his wouldn't look up; yet hoping he would notice us. She started to collect her things and pushed herself back from the table.

"Ah. Mr. Scott if you would." And then he was there. Standing beside me in the flesh and blood, every piece of his that I'd ever loved. I cowered under him as he reached across the table to shake the professors hand. Brielle sunk back into her chair, gulping for air and fumbling with her hands. I couldn't look up, but his eyes were like magnets, drawing my slowly and steadily to his. A glance. I had stumbled through a blue window. I was looking into a reflection of everything that we had ever experienced together. He looked away, back to the boring professor and his dotingly young wife.

"Well sit down Scott." I groaned loudly. Inside of course. The only seat left available was right across from me, the perfect place for footsies and easily glances. He sat down, his frame coming into perfect view. He'd aged, just a fraction of an inch. But something, more masculine, not so boy like, a man that could finally fill out a suit. As he reached for the water glass his jacket arm slipped back, revealing a small cursived word. Zander. I bit my lip, hard, to keep from saying something. My lip quivered, anger rising in stomach, stretching down to my toes. Brielle was watching me out of the corner of her eye, nervous, I could tell the way her heels were furiously tapping the floor. I felt her hand on my knee, giving me a calming squeeze. His sleeve slipped back and I let go of my lip.

"Tell me Nathan, when are we going to see a win out of you?" Mr. Emery quizzed, apparently immersed in Nathan's basketball life, as was everyone else as this stupid convention. Why had I come? I knew he'd be here, never missing an opportunity to brag about his wonderful life. I didn't want to see anyone here, except Brielle, and I saw her everyday. The few teachers' I'd like had been freshman year, and none had bothered to show up.

"Soon I hope," he replied chuckling and shaking his head slightly, "Before I retire."

"Retire!" I glanced up at this. What was his talking about? He'd turned 26 three months ago and he was talking as if he's just hit 35. Retire? Nathan wouldn't retire until he had enough rings, or trophies, or whatever the hell they were, to brag about till he died.

"Just kidding sir. I'm looking for about another ten years of playing."

"Ten years?" The blond bimbo sitting beside her ancient husband managed to speak. I could see Nathan starring, and for some reason it didn't disturb me as much as I anticipated. "What about a wife? A family?" My heart jammed itself so far up into my throat I could feel my face burning red, my air supply lessening.

He shrugged, "Not interested. Trust me, I've walked that path before. No need for another trip." I looked away. I could feel his eyes tracing every curve of my body. I was not going to surrender to him, I was not going to cower or cry under his glare.

"What do you mean?" she asked. His gaze broke, and I turned back. Brielle was boring two deadly holes of her own into Nathan. I had to chuckle lightly, Brielle was always the type, and she wouldn't let me go down without a fight.

"Women. A woman. I've just decided there not for me. I like um, and sure, there are damn pretty to watch. But one you've got to keep hold of? Naw, that's for people like my brother. Two years married now, did you know that? Baby on the way." This took me by surprise. I had received no news that Lucas was having a baby. I'd been to the wedding in Florida, which had been the last time I'd seen Nathan, three years ago.

"No children I expect then?" Mr. Emery commented. Nathan shook his head, and I'd decided I'd had enough.

"Excuse me but we're going to have to go," I said quietly and politely while standing up. Mr. Emery and his wife thanked me and Nathan managed a small, but weak, smile. Brielle stood up, and shook their hands, before grabbing her purse and following me. Weaving between the tables I'd recognized faces that had aged. A grown up Amber had dropped the frizzing hair and teenage body for a grown up green-eyed beauty. David, the obnoxious class clown had dropped the fro and AC/DC t-shirts for formal attire, and a clean haircut.

And I was out. North Carolina was beautiful in the summer. The stars winked and the city sparkled with brilliance. I leaned back against the cool pavement of the building, my heart slowly calming. Brielle stood beside me, her face turned, watching me.

"He just-he just."
"I know," she said rubbing my back, "That's why we stay away Haley. Because something changed. Somewhere along the line we changed, all of us. We aren't the same people we were back then Hales. Not even close."

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Sorry the first chapter is so short! Reviews would be much appreciated.