Title: Warmth of the Sun
Author: RuthieBelle
Summary: William and Julia's European sojourn is perfect save for one small detail.
Notes: By request, this is the sequel to Truth and Reconciliation. We don't own MM.
Rating: M
Authors' suggestion & request: Please "Follow" the story so you get notifications when chapters are published and please feel free to post comments/reviews as we go-don't be shy!
Chapter One
Rue de la Paix, Deuxième Arrondissement, Paris
Back in Toronto, William Murdoch had been in a few locations where he had felt decidedly out of place, but even the finest Toronto home or club had nothing on l'atelier Doucet with its pale gray silk wallpaper, gray velvet divans, and thick wool carpets. Though he accompanied his wife, who was currently trying on gowns in a dressing room, William still felt like an interloper, as though he didn't quite come up to the standards of the establishment.
Of course he also did his best to not think about the cost of a single gown in a place like this, but as they had come here at his own suggestion, he knew he dare not say a word regarding the final tabulations.
Aware that his pacing was making the sales staff nervous, William chose to take a seat on one of the plush divans and fiddled with the brim of his hat which he'd refused to relinquish to the coat-room maid, hoping his wife would not take too long deciding upon a gown. Thankfully, one of the clerks soon brought him a cup of fragrant Earl Grey, served in a white and prussian blue Limoges tea cup with gold accents. While the tea was familiar, the fine porcelain vessel reminded him again that he was not in Toronto. While exercising the utmost care with his cup (although he seriously doubted that the salon would be so gauche as to charge him for breaking it), he wondered again why Julia was insisting upon luxury travel, services and goods so suddenly.
"Monsieur Murdoch, venez avec moi s'il vous plaît," a young maid beckoned him, and took his tea to hand to another girl, saving him the trouble of awkwardly fumbling for a place to leave it. Following her through cut glass doors from the lounge to the main salon, William's eyes widened as the sight of other ladies reviewing the goods on offer from innumerable dresses, to luxurious accessories piled upon tables, yet organized by color and fabric. She then led him through another set of glass doors and down a quiet and secluded hall where she ushered him into a well-appointed dressing room, complete with settee, where, in front of a three-way full-length mirror stood his bride, looking resplendent in a creation unlike anything else he'd ever seen. She was glowing. William had not seen his wife glowing that way since she had told him they were expecting. William pushed aside that thought. He would do anything to see Julia glow that way again, expense be damned.
"Julia," William smiled fondly at his wife, all nervousness forgotten, "that silk is exquisite. You are exquisite!" he quickly added. "Monsieur Doucet certainly has a way with understanding the physical properties of the material..." He stopped himself from lecturing with a blush. "Um, he's an artist with the draping." Indeed the silk clung to her curves most alluringly. Julia who was always lovely in his eyes, at the moment looked nothing like the no-nonsense Dr. Ogden who ruled over the Toronto City Morgue.
Seeing her this way, all his misgivings evaporated now and he realized that he was actually enjoying this part of their day of shopping in Paris. Earlier, he'd had his own appointment for a new set of bespoke evening clothes which Julia insisted was going to be more stylish than one from London, and which she insisted he acquire. The intrusive measuring and fittings for such a suit were unpleasant, but seeing Julia now in a dazzling, flowing ball gown, created by Jacques Doucet's atelier, wiped all objections he had about spending money on his own outfit: He definitely needed an upgraded wardrobe to look even partially adequate while escorting his wife in such a beautiful, and daring, dress. He was already trying to figure out how to get invited to a ball in Toronto, or even Nice, their next destination in the south of France, just so he could take her, and dance with her for all to see that she was his.
"Are you sure it's not too much?" Julia referred to the dress' bare shoulders and plunging neckline; she did not mean the 'cost' in dollars as she purchased all her own clothing with her own money. She examined herself in the mirror, checking out how attractively the gown dipped in front and in back, how it fitted on her hips. She had to admit that she wore it well as she observed how the light fabric shimmered and shifted as the layers of silk moved across each other, creating multiple colours of blue as she moved. No doubt about it - the dress was truly stunning To add to her excitement, there were almost no alterations going to be needed; which meant, unlike William's new suit which would have to wait until their return trip back through Paris, she could probably have this dress delivered to her later today at their hotel.
Her spirit soared when she looked in the mirror and thought she looked fabulous in it.
Truth be told, Julia was still working at re-building her own confidence. Glancing at her reflection again, she considered the expense. There was no way around it: the price was extortionate, easily costing more than most, if not all of her other gowns combined. But Parisian haute couture didn't come cheap, and seeing as this might be the only time in her life that she might purchase such a gown, she seriously contemplated it. Julia made another coquettish smile in the mirror and twirled around playfully, showing the gown off to her husband.
Julia doubted that William was aware of the look on his face, but the mixture of admiration and lust gave her pause and left little doubt as to what was going through his mind. No doubt he's already mentally removing it from my body, she thought.
William coughed suddenly. "It suits you, Julia. It is modern and looks like it was made for you. I think if you like it you must get it."
"William, have you any idea how much this gown costs? Besides, if I get this I will still need a couple of walking suits, perhaps another dress and something for the beach…"
William's smile overtook his whole face. "I'd be delighted to help pick out the bathing costume then, as well…"
It had been far too long since she'd seen that wide a smile on his face, and putting aside her misgivings about living up to his expectations, she laughed in return:
"When even William Murdoch tells you to buy the dress, cost be damned," she said, "I suppose one should do exactly that!"
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
Hôtel de Crillon, Paris
Later that evening, William regarded his wife while she mentally reviewed her purchases. Their hotel suite at Hôtel de Crillon overflowed with the bounty of their day's efforts, including the scandalous gown purchased from M. Doucet. She had the dress splayed across the bed to examine the stitching and decorations more closely.
William saw how happy it made her, which made him happy as well. "It really is quite remarkable, Julia; one of a kind just like its owner." He approached her to place a gallant kiss on her hand. "We shall therefore have to secure an appropriate occasion for you to wear it."
It had been cold, gray, and rainy in Paris, while it promised to be unseasonably warm along the Mediterranean, perfect for a couple weeks of rest and intellectual invigoration. "I will be glad to take the train south tomorrow." He flipped through a small notebook of neat printing he pulled from his pocket. "Let's see….we have a small itinerary planned, including two whole days at the Musée d'Histoire Naturelle."
"They have a fungus collection that is non-pareil, " Julia reminded him excitedly, coming to stand next to him to look at the list. "I plan to do some investigation on organic poisons while we are there..."
William nodded. "And the zoology and geology collections are first rate; I concur we should make an opportunity for notes for our monographs. I will be examining geological samples for a better understanding and identification of trace evidence." The Nice opera, the theatre and the beach had their attractions, but his mind focused on how much he could learn and apply to police work. "I am also interested in finishing Richard Dixon Oldham's monograph on the geological makeup of the Earth. He wrote a paper analyzing seismic arrival times of various recorded earthquakes and concluded that the earth has a core and estimated its radius to be less than 0.4 times the radius of the Earth! Imagine that..."
"Oh...George will be so disappointed. No 'Mole People'…" she teased. "Must you tell him, William? Does he truly need to know?" Julia asked breathlessly, head playfully tilted.
He knew the glow in her face did not come from the room's golden lamp light, but from within her; to him she looked like she was coming alive again, emerging from their troubles. She was so radiant and relaxed, he could not help but be drawn to her, much like the sun's gravitational field captured a planet. They were so close, her mouth only inches away, and he so wanted to lean in and kiss her, passionately. He closed his eyes, imagining the sweet taste of her…
... William immediately pulled his thoughts back before he allowed his lips to get closer. The moment passed. William let Julia get back to her dresses, hoping his wife was unaware of where his thoughts had almost taken him. He did not wish to disrupt the tentative bond between them, but he promised himself that if she gave him an opening, he'd take it...he just hoped he would not have to wait much longer for that invitation.
William's slumber was disturbed by the barest feather-whisper against his cheek. He had tried to wait up for Julia to come to bed with him, but she had found another article to read, another item to pack, another letter to write. He'd finished his own packing and reading, eventually giving up on being able to have her in his arms this night. He rolled over to avoid the lamp light and after a little adjustment, fell fast asleep...
***...A twitch of silk against his lashes brought more awareness. Opening his eyes, he beheld moonlight pouring through the windows, illuminating the diaphanous fabric which flowed along Julia's limbs as she came into bed wearing a translucent robe he did not recall her purchasing from M. Doucet. Her lovely, long legs, which never failed to excite him, were back-lit by the moon, offering him the most tantalizing view. His hand grazed her hip, confirming she wore nothing beneath the insubstantial textile.
He breathed in her new French perfume from the House of Guerlain, a delicate combination of violet and orange blossom, and opened the covers to let her settle next to him, enveloping them both in the scent of Spring and its promise of renewal. Sliding his right hand underneath the hem of silk, he stroked up the curve of her calf and over her thigh, Julia's skin proving to be even softer than her gown, getting a throaty murmur of appreciation from her. His heart lifted then raced in anticipation of making love to her, finally, after so many months of abstinence. Just the thought of covering her with kisses, being inside her satiny depths brought him fully alert.
Still, he hesitated, needing to make sure, trying to connect with her eye to eye. Was she making a path for them to follow? An open door for him to go through?
"Julia…?"
"Shhh, William…" she whispered in his ear, the vibrations propagating directly to his groin. "Whatever are you waiting for…?***
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
+++...Despite it being late November, the Mediterranean evening was warm, and the weather clear, allowing for the sky to display her finest diamonds as the two of them slipped out of the museum, exhausted after an evening of fun, frivolity, dancing, and copious amounts of champagne. Even William had imbibed for once and was rather tipsy alongside her. The evening had been truly magical and as loathe as they were to see it end, they were both eager to return to their hotel to resume activities of a more intimate nature. Hailing a carriage, they immediately found one another once inside.
"Why is it that I find this dress extraordinarily beautiful, yet I've been eagerly awaiting all evening for the moment when I can take it off?" William whispered in her ear.
She giggled in response and cupped him through his trousers, eliciting a moan. "Whatever are you waiting for?"
"If that's how you're going to play, Mrs. Murdoch, you best watch out," he warned her as he took her mouth in a fervent kiss.
After returning to the hotel, they stumbled up to their room, unable to keep their hands off each other, and as soon as the door closed behind them, William proceeded to do just as he promised, removing her dress, and sliding it down her shoulders and allowing it to pool at her feet … when she suddenly felt a sharp pain in her abdomen.
Confused, he suddenly stopped, looking down. "Julia, you're bleeding. Why?" he asked, stepping back.
"I...I don't know William," she answered, looking down at the blood trickling down her legs.
"Julia...how could you?" William angrily asked, as his eyes turned cold.
"I didn't know I was with child, William. I had no idea. I didn't do anything, I promise," she cried, stepping towards him, seeking his aid and comfort as she suffered another miscarriage.
"I don't believe you," he replied, turning away from her and walking to the chest of drawers to remove a few items.
"William, please don't do this. Please don't leave me again," she cried, the cramps becoming stronger, causing her to double over in pain.
"Julia, I cannot and will not live with a woman so indifferent to her own children that she regards them as inconveniences to be rid of," he answered as he shoved a few belongings into a valise. "I'll ask the hotel for another room and I'll collect the rest of my things tomorrow. Goodbye, Julia," he said as walked out of the room.
Stunned, hurt, and in pain, she collapsed to the floor as the cramps overcame her. Crying, she closed her eyes and hoped that this time, she actually would bleed to death as yet another massive wave of pain overtook her…..+++
...Bolting upright in bed and heart racing, Julia looked around her and took a few deep breaths as she realized that she was in Paris, in her room at the Hôtel de Crillon, the bed awash in moonlight as opposed to her blood. A quick glance under the covers confirmed that all was well and what had seemed so real was actually a nightmare and she appeared safe for the time being. Looking to her left, she realized that William was not in bed with her, but as there was a light on in the sitting room, she surmised that William must be reading.
Wordlessly, she sat down on the couch next to him and laid her head on his shoulder, needing to feel his warmth and reassure herself of his presence.
William was aware she was uneasy, guessing she had another nightmare. "Is everything alright, Julia?" he asked, kissing the top of her head.
"It's fine, William. I missed you is all," she answered.
Not the whole truth but not a lie either, she told herself. "Is everything well with you, William?" she wondered.
He inhaled to give himself a moment to think. I don't dare tell her the real reason I'm awake!
"It's fine, just couldn't sleep is all," he answered instead, "I guess I'm excited about our visit to the museum tomorrow."
Not a lie, but not the exact truth either about what sort of excitement disturbed my slumber, he chided himself. He'd woken up so very disappointed that he was alone on his side of the bed, still aroused by unfulfilled desire.
Sighing, he rubbed his face in frustration and pulled Julia closer. It felt good that she at least wanted him for emotional comfort and he was very glad that she had not woken any sooner to encounter his lust. William had waited seven years from when he'd fallen in love with her, seven years after he first felt a physical attraction, seven long years before he'd been able to consummate their relationship; he was a man who knew what he wanted and knew how to wait for it.
He found some confidence, deep inside.
Julia is all I ever wanted and her love means more to me than anything. Her love is worth the wait.
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
Nice, Côte d'Azur
William collected their trunks at the train station in Nice after a long, tiring journey from Paris, no matter, the trip was spent in the epitome of luxury. The city rose from a flat pebble beach into gently rising hills, surrounded by mountains of the Ligurian Alps range. Going south increased the ambient temperature and dried out the weather, so much so, that they took advantage of the still air to take an open carriage from the station to their hotel which was situated in the hills above the the old port city, overlooking the bay. A full moon highlighted typical Mediterranean vegetation and outlined the buildings as their carriage carried him and Julia through town. Once in their rooms, William opened the paired windows, bringing a breath of the sea inside.
"The locals think this is sweater and scarf season," Julia observed as she removed her travelling wrap and handed it to her husband.
"At sixty degrees tonight, this is a particularly balmy November for us Torontonians; in fact, the concierge told me it was in the high seventies yesterday. That bathing costume might get used after all." William teased, but instead of getting a giggle, she merely sighed. He took her hand, giving a little squeeze. "It is late, and we planned to be at the opening of the museum tomorrow. So perhaps it is time to retire?"
Julia slipped her hand away. "You go on, William. I want to freshen up a bit...alone, if you don't mind…" she said to forestall any offer to join her.
Slipping into the bathroom, Julia undressed herself and stood nude in front of the mirror, looking at her reflection, wondering not for the first time what it was that her husband saw in her...what it was that he found desirable in her...what it was that kept him from having sought another when the man could have had any woman in Toronto. He still could, she scoffed at herself.
Sighing, she drew a bath and poured a liberal amount of jasmine bath oil into the water before she remembered that William loved that scent. Exhausted, Julia drained the bath, opting to enjoy the water unscented instead. She had to be careful not to arouse his passions any more than they already were...what the hell had she been thinking purchasing that ridiculous gown in Paris? She was a fool. Now it was guaranteed that he would see the first night she wore it as an invitation to resume relations. Hadn't he mentioned more than once that they needed to find an opportunity for her to wear it? He was signaling his intentions and rather than be excited by it as she once would have, it made her rather anxious..
Sinking her travel-weary body into the large tub, she felt her muscles relax as she contemplated how William would perceive her refusing him her affections. Would he wonder if she now found him repellant? Knowing William, he would accept the situation, but not before another unfathomably terrible exchange.
Sinking lower into the tub, she grabbed a towel to muffle her cries so she didn't alert William to her distress. He would never understand.
How can he when I don't even understand myself?
The Mediterranean flowed all around him, giving William physical resistance to work through as he stroked underneath the gentle salt waves. Just being here on a shale and pebble beach reminded him so much of the little northern village he grew up in, even if it was a world and forty-odd years away, prompting a new regard for swimming, especially after his more recent sedentary pursuits. A part of him reveled in it, which surprised him: when he left home with Susannah to move in with their Aunt he had never looked back to the ocean, and in fact had not really seen and appreciated the Atlantic again until visiting Newfoundland with George. There had been no pull of the sea for him. Living four hundred miles inland and having Lake Ontario to enjoy a few times a year suited him quite nicely.
As he swam he considered his situation: Julia was affectionate, attentive and amusing, while still maintaining a distance from him as far as intimate relations were concerned. She came across as uncharacteristically shy and self-conscious, at the same time she seemed happy to cater to his every whim. He struggled with understanding this as his arms and legs sliced through the water. The past few days with Julia felt so easy and natural at times he could forget they were not at home on Toronto working out a challenging problem in a murder investigation but it also meant that their intellectual stimulation (which usually led to sexual ignition) had nowhere to go. They had not had relations now in almost four months, so he was becoming somewhat of an expert in diverting his energies elsewhere.
His only conclusion was that the trust between them was not yet strong enough for her to let go in his arms and give herself to him fully again, but if that was so, why did she seem to be almost courting him? Does she think I will reject her? It was all too baffling.
He needed exercise to clear his mind, and perhaps, unconsciously, the cold of the water to quench his body's need for release.
Lying on the beach, Julia adjusted the umbrella on her chair so that the shifting sun would not burn her skin or create more freckles. The weather remained warm enough for sunbathing in the afternoons, so after long days of study in the collections of the Muséum d'histoire naturelle de Nice, some fresh air was just what the doctor ordered. She recalled how much fun the two of them had had, showing off their discoveries or discussing new avenues of investigation. William's depth and breadth of scientific curiosity and knowledge always impressed her and this had been no exception. Nonetheless, William had been very pleased to take a break with her, especially since she'd been persuaded to don her bathing costume.
Staring down at her legs she contemplated another time at the beach when she had boldly removed her stockings, noting that she had mostly done so to shock William more than anything. Smiling, she set her journal aside, and admired the expanse of azure water before her and watched the frivolity of those hardy souls who played in the surf with no small amount of envy.
Glancing at a well-toned figure coming out of the water, there was no doubt that it was William, oblivious to the attention he was drawing to himself. Smiling with pride, she noted a few scowling faces as he walked her way, plopping himself down in the chair beside her.
Just to bask in their envy even more, Julia leaned over and kissed him, tasting his lips, warm and salty. Enjoying the feeling of his eyelashes against her own, she leaned in and kissed him again, savoring the experience even more as she forgot herself for a moment.
"The water wasn't too cold I take it?" Julia asked, gesturing towards his body.
"A bit on the cool side, but still not as cold as the water l learned to swim in, in Nova Scotia, or for that matter the hold of a sinking ship on Lake Ontario in the spring," he admitted with a chuckle.
"You're just trying to get me out there, William," she teased, running her hand along his forearm, mentally noting his musculature.
"I can't deny that perhaps I have ulterior motives," he laughed, stroking her own cheek in return and kissing her again before gesturing towards her journal, giving her space. "You're reading Popular Science, I see. It would seem I'm rubbing off on you. Anything of interest in there?" he smiled, looking up at her through his eyelashes.
"Yes, actually. There's an article about hypnotism and its possible uses in medicine," she replied, handing the magazine back to him. "You may read it, William. I think I would just like to enjoy the sun for a while, she replied with a smile.
Laying back in her chair, she contemplated their most recent exchange and closed her eyes, luxuriating in the winter sun. Soon, her thoughts turned to William and she day-dreamed about how much more scandalous they could have been out in the water, imagining how his hands would feel on her skin as he pulled her close, fitting their bodies together, limbs entwined, bobbing with the waves as one while unmindful about the consternation they were causing on land. After a few moments of fantasizing, she was brought back to reality as William shifted in his own chair beside her. Sighing deeply, she rubbed her brow and reflected upon their current situation. Julia knew something held her back from throwing herself into William's arms...It kept her up at night in agitation and woke her up early with disturbing dreams which evaded her memory no matter how she strained to recall them.
That something was becoming clearer and clearer, despite her attempts at talking herself out of her own conclusion, once she had time and the ability to think about it rationally. Simple addition and a calendar revealed an astonishing idea:
It is entirely possible that I became pregnant before starting Miss Clark's hormone treatments.
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
A/N: Hi-welcome back! Betcha didn't see that coming!