Song of the Angels
By Zenithos
Chapter 1: Smile of the Angel
Disclaimer: NGE doesn't belong to Zeni, ok? Zeni doesn't own anything else here that doesn't belong to Zeni. Now stop bugging Zeni.
This is my first NGE fic and I am still an inexperienced beginner in the world of fanfiction and every bit of feedback, whether it be suggestions, opinions, or even flames (constructive ones, please), would help me a lot. Your help in this respect would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.
Song: You are Loved (Don't Give Up)
Album: Awake
Singer: Josh Groban
"I must win….I must defeat this monster…for the world…no…for my little sister…" She tightened her grip on her controls as she willed on the monstrosity she wielded. "So that….nobody will have to suffer…so that she will not have to suffer…"
One final image of her little sister, laughing cheerfully under the sun, wiped away all traces of hesitation left in her.
She blinked away her tears and looked up at the fearsome dark purple goliath looming up before her as she pushed both controls forwards.
She screamed.
"DIE!"
Don't give up
It's just the weight of the world
"What is he doing?!"
"Eva 01's internal power at 40 seconds and counting! 38….37…."
"SHINJI!"
Ignoring the shouts of his Tactical Operations Director, the warning lights on the internal power reserves, the cries of panic from the two classmates sharing the already cramped entry plug, and, indeed, the searing, burning pain in his abdomen, he rushed on forwards. He could almost feel it, the feel of the progressive blade grasped in both his hands. It was hot, yet cold, deadly.
Putting all his will into the two control yokes, he rammed the progressive knife upwards, straight into the clear red orb above him. It yielded, yet unwillingly, giving out a hot, sizzling sound as the progressive knife torched its way through.
It felt….strange….unreal…
This time, he was conscious of it…conscious of the fact that he was cutting through something….something alive.
How? Where did this feeling come from? This…thing….it couldn't be alive? Could it?
"UUUUAAAAAAAAGH!" He cried, putting all his might into the knife, forcing it further upwards.
The Angel, in a last fit of desperation, intensified the ferocity of its assaults on Eva 01's abdomen. It's glowing whip-like arms lashed and thrashed through the gash it had ripped through the Eva's body.
"I-Ikari…" One of his classmates gasped, seeing him wince painfully as more searing pain flared through his nerves.
"Internal Power at 10…9….8…"
The deciding 10 seconds of the battle was perhaps the longest 10 seconds of his life. The orb above him continued to resist, flaring brightly under the assault of the prog knife. This was it – who would last longer….?
There were screams….
Screams of pain….anguish….
Where were they coming from? He gasped, looking around in panic in search of the source. It was echoing, distant, somewhat ethereal.
As the last flickers of light danced across the damaged core, so did the screams fade away into nothing.
The silence was punctuated by a long, monotonous beep, signaling the depletion of the Eva's internal batteries.
"Eva 01 has ceased functioning!"
"The Angel has gone silent!"
"Hey, Ikari, are you ok?" His classmate, the one in the black trainers, asked, out of concern.
"I-I'm fine." He half-gasped, half-sighed, raising a hand to his forehead. He could almost feel the wetness of the perspiration through his plug-suit. "Fine….just fine…."
Those screams….where did they come from?
One thing was sure, he never heard them again, save in his dreams, or rather, nightmares…
When your heart's heavy
I will lift if for you
A few months later…
"Today, at 0358 hours, and 15 seconds, due to the combined attacks of the fifth Angel A and B, Eva unit 01 and unit 02 were defeated. At 0400 hours, command was relieved from NERV and passed over to the second division of the UN special forces. 5 minutes later a tactical N2 mine was dropped on the targets."
He failed?
"We've been humiliated." A superior, commanding voice said from behind him.
Yes, he failed. The explosion shown on the screen before him danced across his darkened pupils. A heavy dread sank to the pits of his stomach where it writhed uneasily, awaiting further comments from the displeased superiors.
"It seems like we'll have to redraw the map yet again." The silver-haired officer behind him continued. Fuyutsuki wasn't too far off, as the next image showed a large crater occupying what was once a shoreline on the map.
"The attack effectively burned the target's structural substance by up to 28."
"Well, it kind of looks dead." The twin-tailed blonde-haired girl beside him commented, looking around at the superiors lined up behind them in the darkened projector room.
"No, this is merely temporary. A second attack is just a matter of time." Fuyutsuki said as the next image slid into focus, showing the twin Angels that now stood silent, motionless, on what was left of the shore.
"Well, at least we have time to regroup, and you can't ask for more than that." A rough looking, pony-tailed man said, leaning back in his chair.
"Eva Pilots." A low, grave voice caused a sudden heavy atmosphere to befall the debriefing room and everyone in it.
"Y-yes?" He replied, almost automatically, to his commander. That was all he was to him now – the commander, the stern, charismatic, cold figure in command of NERV.
"Do you understand what your role is?" The voice continued, his lips hidden by his two interlocked, gloved hands.
"…To pilot Evas?" The blonde haired girl beside him asked hesitantly, causing the boy to wince.
"No. It's to defeat Angels." The commander said, before rising out of his seat. "NERV wasn't formed to put up pathetic displays like this." He finished, just before leaving the debriefing room, with Fuyutsuki trailing right behind him.
He failed.
Don't give up
Because you want to be heard
"Sigh….Why me?" A depressed Shinji Ikari sighed as he sat down heavily on a bench in front of a communal fountain. The skyscrapers of Tokyo-3 loomed up above the tree line surrounding him, gleaming magnificently in the setting sun, like sentry beacons amidst a darkening world. "And what's up with that Soryu girl anyway, blaming everything on me like that?" He half-asked himself as he leaned over backwards, closing his eyes.
His eyes fluttered open again just as he felt a presence close to him. He wasn't too far off. In fact, the presence in question was leaning over his face from behind the bench, her bright, olive emerald eyes gazing down into his. He was about to open his mouth to yelp out of shock when the girl suddenly smiled and put up a finger to her lips.
"Ssshh…" She continued to smile as she raised a cautious little finger up to Shinji's forehead. He felt her rather rough nail scrape against his skin, causing him to close his eyes out of reflex, before she broke a grin and stepped around the bench.
"Teehee, sorry, I couldn't help myself, nyoron." She giggled, raising the finger up to Shinji. On it sat a small, reddish orange ladybug, chirruping quietly, oblivious to its surroundings.
Shinji couldn't help but stare at the girl now sitting beside him. He judged her to be around his age, if not older. Everything about her screamed eccentric, if not cutely so, from her bright green, waist-long hair, her rather prominent canines, to the animated, cheerful conversation she was now having with the ladybug, in her bright, energetic, if slightly lisped voice. 'Nyoron'?
"I really can't help it when I see cute things." She giggled, letting the ladybug take flight. "It's nice, really, to be able to take the time to notice these little things." She smiled, stretching. At that very moment, Shinji couldn't help but notice how well endowed she was. It wasn't his fault. The stretching really accentuated them under the bright green shirt she wore. "Don't you think so?" Her words brought him, if rather abruptly, back to earth.
"Err…uh…yeah." Shinji said, blinking, at a loss for words.
"Ne, my name's Tsuruya, nyoron. What's yours?" She cocked her head to one side.
"Sh-Shinji Ikari…" The third child replied, rather sheepishly.
"Well, nice to make your acquaintance, Shinji Ikari." She smiled warmly. "Here I was, thinking I'd end up spending a lonesome evening here in this deserted park, and then I bumped into you."
"Bumped huh?" He really couldn't find anything to say.
"So, what are you doing out here, looking all depressed?" She continued. "Wanna talk about it? It helps. And it won't matter much as I'm a stranger anyway, nyoron."
There was that 'nyoron' again. "I...well…I just had a bit of trouble with work." Shinji answered with the vaguest answer he could come up with. He wasn't all too sure he should share the fact that he was the pilot of a humanoid mechanical monstrosity at the moment.
"Oh?" She asked, looking around at the fountain. "Same with me then." She sighed, looking up at the sky. "Can you believe it? I got called in for work in town today and when I got here I found that it got postponed for 5 more days. And then they told me it was my fault in the first place. Where's the justice in that?"
"Blaming others is just how they get the work done." Shinji shrugged. To his surprise, Tsuruya suddenly started giggling. Before long, it grew into a full laugh. Before he knew it, he had started laughing along as well. There was something about this girl….something that made him feel…at home.
"I-I'm sorry. It's just that, I haven't heard something that funny in a long time." The girl smiled, wiping away a few tears as her laughter finally subsided. "Too long, in fact."
The third child was yet again speechless. He felt he had to say something. "S-So, what will you be doing for the next 5 days then?" He finally blurted out.
"Oh?" Tsuruya gave him a rather thoughtful look. "I haven't thought about that. I guess I'll be staying in town. Can't think of anything to do, really." She shrugged. "Hey…could it be that….you're trying to ask me out?" She asked, cocking her head to one side again, a rather devilish grin on her face.
"A-Ah, n-no! I wasn't." Shinji stammered nervously. Something in his stomach had found its way into his chest and was now trying to break out of his ribcage.
"Oh?" Tsuruya leaned in a bit closer to look up at his currently bowed down face.
"Ah…uh…" Shinji, caught entirely by surprise, could do nothing but scratch the back of his head as he tried to think up an answer. In truth he had no idea what his superiors had planned for him for the next 5 days. If he rashly decided on that now….
"Hehe, you're blushing." Tsuruya pointed out with a grin.
"Ah, n-no! I'm not!" Shinji shook his head nervously before looking away in embarrassment. Now he was really glowing in the cheeks.
"C'mon, admit it, I made you blush, ne?" Tsuruya pursued.
"N-no, really."
"Ne, do you listen to Pachelbel?" Tsuruya suddenly asked out of nowhere.
"Y-yes." Shinji replied, looking around at her once more. There really was something about this girl that really put him at ease. Her randomness, perhaps? "I play the cello you see…"
"Really? Can you play the Canon in D?"
"Y-yes, it's a little difficult, but…"
The two chatted on, oblivious to time. That evening quickly became yet another passing memory. But for Shinji, it was one of the first few memories he ever held onto…
…no matter how painful…
If silence keeps you
I - I will break it for you
As it turned out, his superiors did have something in store for him - Synchronization training with none other than Asuka Langley Soryu for 5 full days, non-stop. And what exactly did this so-called synchronization training entail?
"So much for synchronization! I've had it! I can never sink to the pathetic level this animated turnip lives at!" Asuka screamed, pointing at the tangled mess sprawled out on the dance mat beside her. "If you ask me, this entire idea is impossible!"
Said tangled mess gingerly picked himself up and shook his head, sighing. "I'm sorry, I know I'm no good." He said in a desultory tone, before throwing aside his earphones and leaving the room.
"Shinji! Urrgh…no matter, I can do this all by myself!" The second child huffed, looking away.
"Well….perhaps it would be best if we give him a break. We have been practicing all morning after all." Their Tactical Operations Director/guardian, Misato Katsuragi, sighed, shaking her empty can of beer in search of signs of it being otherwise. There's always more beer, after all. "You take a break too, Asuka. We do have 3 more days, after all."
"That bumbling idiot….Gaah…You pathetic excuse for a combat pilot!" Asuka shouted at the door through which Shinji had left.
Everybody wants to be understood
Well, I can hear you
Before long the third child once again found himself standing amidst the park he had visited the evening before, right in front of the same communal fountain. Why was he here anyway? He can't really expect that girl to be….
"Yoohoo…." A cheerful voice called out. That, combined with the sudden tap on his shoulder, caused him jump halfway out of his skin.
"Ara, did I frighten you, nyoron?" Her green eyes shone brightly as she looked down at Shinji. "Gomene." She winked as she offered him her hand.
"Ah, th-thanks…" Shinji stammered nervously as Tsuruya single-handedly pulled him to his feet. 'This girl's quite strong for her size…' he thought, noticing for the first time that Tsuruya was at least two inches shorter than he was.
"No problem. It was my fault anyway." She smiled. At that point Shinji noticed why she hadn't used her other hand. It was occupied by a brown, rough-cover sketchbook.
"Oh, you were drawing?" Shinji asked, in a valiant attempt to get a conversation going.
"Oh, this?" Tsuruya held up the sketchbook. "Ah, it's just one of my ways to pass the time." She grinned. "Anyway, more importantly, weren't you going to take me out today?"
"Ah…uh…" Shinji was once again taken by surprise by her forwardness. No way any male could have counted on this much luck. "That…this…"
His train of thought was suddenly interrupted by Tsuruya's giggle. "Hahaha, I'm just kidding. No way anyone else has as much time to waste as me."
For a moment his mind went back to the sync training waiting for him back at the apartment. It was followed by Asuka's passionate insults. "No, that's…to be honest, I have nothing to do either." Shinji sighed, pushing everything else out of his head. "Where do you want to go?"
"Really? You'll take me out?" Tsuruya grasped Shinji's hands with her own. "Then can we go see the ocean, nyoron?"
"Eh…?" Shinji blinked. "The ocean?"
Later….
"Ahh…the air feels great!" Tsuruya cried, lifting both her arms into the air as a wave crashed into the pier upon which she stood. "Ne, don't you think so too, Shinji-kun?" She asked, looking around at Shinji.
"Huh…?" Shinji looked up at her. Did she just call him 'Shinji-kun'? The seagulls cawed on above them, adding more to the general cacophony of the seaside.
"Aw, c'mon, you can't space out here when you're by the sea. You've gotta savour it, nyoron." She pointed out as yet another wave crashed into the pier, spraying up water behind her.
Shinji couldn't help but notice how…beautiful she was, with her emerald green hair flying in the cool sea breeze and her gentle face adorned by her now familiar cute smile, with one slightly oversized canine showing out of the corner of her mouth.
"Hey, you're spacing out again!" He suddenly felt a sharp prickle against his forehead.
"Ouch…" Shinji winced from the flick. "Wh-What was that for?"
"Teehee, you really are a daydreamer, aren't you?" Tsuruya put her hands on her hips and grinned, leaning forwards towards him from her position on top of an anchor moor. "Don't tell me you're still worried about work." She laughed, leaping off and running off towards a nearby crepe stand.
"W-work…" Shinji gasped, before sighing once again. "I…I don't really know what the point is anymore."
"Ne, what flavour?"
"Eh?"
"I'm asking you, what flavour?"
"Ah..uh..I don't know…I've never had…" Shinji started.
"Ok then, two with jam and marmalade." Tsuruya ordered.
"Huh? Wha…?"
"Wait over there, Shinji-kun. I'll bring them over in a bit." Tsuruya said, gesturing at the pier.
"But…"
"Don't worry, my treat, ok?" Tsuruya winked, pushing Shinji away. "Now be a good little boy and wait over there."
"The boy's your boyfriend?" The crepe vendor asked, lowering his sunglasses while nodding at Shinji's retreating back.
"Does it look that way, nyoron?" Tsuruya grinned.
"More importantly, how is it going?" He continued.
"4 more days." Tsuruya shrugged.
"You seem awfully relaxed." The vendor said, in a slightly reproachful tone.
"What else could I be doing?" Tsuruya said in an offhand way, closing her eyes.
"Well, true." The vendor chuckled. "Well, best of luck to you. And this one's on the house." He smiled, handing Tsuruya the two crepes.
"It better be. If you dare charge me for that, I'll set Kimidori-san on you, nyoron." She said with a devilish grin while inspecting the crepes.
"Hey, Tsuruya-chan." The vendor said, lowering his glasses.
"Yeah?" Tsuruya asked while walking off.
"You'd better make it back." He said.
Tsuruya turned her head around, grinned a toothy little grin, before strolling off to join Shinji by the pier.
Everybody wants to be loved
Don't give up
Because you are loved
Later….
"I'm back!" Shinji called out as he took off his shoes upon returning to the apartment. He stepped in only to be greeted by a flying book.
"About time you got back!" He heard Asuka shout as he reached up to the paper-back book now adorning his face.
"Advanced Footwork?" Shinji asked, reading out the title on the book.
"Unlike some people, I've been working on that all day." Asuka snapped, her hands on her hips, a hint of pride as well as disgust inherent in her voice. "I've had enough for today. You'd better have all that memorized for practice tomorrow. You missed more than half a day today." She added, returning to her room and aiming one last warning glare in Shinji's direction before slamming the door behind her.
Shinji winced as the slam reverberated in his ears. "Man…
Don't give up
It's just the hurt that you hide
When you're lost inside
I – I will be there to find you
The Next Day….
"Ne, what's wrong, Shinji-kun?" Tsuruya asked, leaning down and looking up at his face as they walked down the theme park's promenade.
"Nothing." Shinji shrugged. In truth, he was thinking about this morning's practice session. He just couldn't get anything right. His feet were all over the place, and so where Asuka's insults.
"Man, this place is so cool." Tsuruya sighed happily, stretching extravagantly, once again accentuating her generous endowments before Shinji. "Have you been to theme parks before, Shinji-kun?"
"I-I've never seen such big…I-I mean," He gasped, blushing brightly. "I-I've n-never been to one before."
"Oh, me neither." Tsuruya said. "It must be the times." She shrugged.
"Marmalade and jam crepe, right?" Shinji asked.
"Eh?" Tsuruya looked around before noticing that Shinji had stopped at a crepe stall. "Err…uh…yeah."
"Here." Shinji said, handing her a crepe and watching her take a bite before biting into his. "Uh…so sour and bitter…" He almost choked.
"Hehe, if you didn't like it, why'd you order it, dummy." Tsuruya giggled, taking another bite out of hers.
"Because…it's sour and bitter, yet sweet too. The sourness and bitterness makes the sweetness all the more sweeter." Shinji answered, taking another bite.
"Hey, bingo. Good job, Shinji-kun. Not that many people could notice such subtle things." Tsuruya beamed. Her smile somehow elevated Shinji.
"This must be some sort of analogy for a lesson of life, isn't it?" Shinji asked, a hint of excitement in his voice.
"Nope." Tsuruya shook her head offhandedly, causing Shinji to face-fault. She giggled, seeing Shinji's slightly downhearted expression, before answering. "It just tastes good, that's all. But if you can learn a lesson of life while you're at it, then good for you." She winked.
"Uh…Tsuruya-san?" Shinji asked, slightly nervously. He's been meaning to ask this for quite a while and he decided now was as good a time as any. "I-I'm just wondering…how old are you?"
"Shinji-kun!" He was surprised to hear Tsuruya suddenly round on him in such a harsh voice. "How rude! You should know better than to ask a girl her age!" She frowned at him.
"I…sorry…" Shinji gasped, suddenly not knowing what to do. "Itee…" He winced as he received a playful flick on the forehead from Tsuruya.
"Teehee…" Tsuruya's expression suddenly softened again. "Just kidding. If it's you, Shinji-kun, it's all right. If you're that curious, I'm 14." She put on a thoughtful expression for a few moments while munching on another bit of crepe before adding. "…and a bit…"
"S-So you're the same age as me?" Shinji gasped, surprised. "I-I thought you'd be w-way older…" He blurted out, before he could stop himself.
"Aww…c'mon, how can you mistake my age with my young, cute little face." She pouted playfully.
"B-but, the other day, you mentioned work and…"
"Oh…that…" Her smile grew a bit dim for a brief moment before she took hold of Shinji's arm and shouted, "Hey, we're at the theme park. Stop being a party-pooper and let's go have fun!"
"H-hey! Tsuruya-san, c-calm down!" Shinji gasped as Tsuruya tugged him towards the flying saucer ride. "N-no…not that ride! NOOOOOOOOOO!"
Don't give up
Because you want to burn bright
Later…
"Ugh…we tried every single ride…." Shinji gagged, leaning on his knees as he tried to catch his breath.
"Teehee, didn't it say 'caution: This girl is a rash, danger-blind thrill-seeker?" Tsuruya giggled, raising a know-it-all finger.
"N-no…where did it say that?"
"The warning on my package, right underneath 'Keep out of reach of children' and 'Listening may cause brain cancer.'" Tsuruya pointed out, winking.
"Ugh…I should've paid attention to that one…" Shinji gulped, turning green.
"Aww, c'mon. I'm sure you'll enjoy this one." Tsuruya laughed, patting him on the back.
"Uhh…" Shinji looked around before gasping upon seeing the view outside the window. Below him, the theme park was but a shimmering sea of lights, bathed under the receding golden daylight.
"See, I told you the Ferris wheel would be fun, nyoron." She said, raising a know-it-all finger. Shinji looked around back at her. His heart suddenly skipped a beat when he saw her. The last rays of the setting sun had set fire to the sky and the interior of the ferris wheel gondola. Half of Tsuruya's face was set aglow by the bright golden light.
An Angel….
No matter how he thought about it, he found the image ironic, that she seemed an angel in his eyes, considering his profession.
"It's amazing…that we can still have so much fun in this day and age…" Tsuruya sighed, pulling back a strand of her emerald hair from her face.
"Your parents never took you to a theme park before?" Shinji asked.
He suddenly shrunk, realizing the answer upon seeing the look on Tsuruya's face upon hearing his question. "I-I'm sorry, I…"
"No, it's ok." Tsuruya closed her eyes and clasped her hands on her knees.
'How stupid of me!' Shinji cursed himself silently. 'For all I know, she could be a second impact orphan who spent most of her life in a government shelter.'
A depressive, heavy silence filled the gondola for the following few moments. Shinji threw his mind upside down in search of something to say to break the silence….but nothing was forthcoming…
Suddenly, the darkening sky around them lit up in a multitude of colours. The light filled up the gondola, causing the two to gasp in awe.
"S-So beautiful…" Tsuruya gasped, her eyes shining brilliantly as she watched the fireworks light up the cool evening sky.
At that very moment, Shinji wanted nothing more than to say that they were nowhere close to being as beautiful as her. But he didn't. Rather, he was mesmerized by the fireworks exploding within the depths of her pupils. Or rather, the sorrow hidden deep within those cold, dark pools…
If darkness blinds you
I – I will shine to guide you
The next day….
"Ne, Shinji-kun…." Tsuruya said, swinging her legs to and thro as she sat on the park railing overlooking Tokyo-3. A few light clouds hung in the blue sky above, like a herald before the heavier, darker clouds gathering at the horizon.
"Yes?" Shinji asked, offering her a can of soda.
"If you only had a day left to live, what would you do?" She asked, looking up at the drifting clouds, as if searching the clouds for an answer.
"Wh-what?" Shinji gasped, almost spilling his can of soda.
"Hehe, I guess that's a really weird question to ask, ne?" Tsuruya laughed.
"Well, when you live on the edge like this…I guess we'd all live each and every day like our last." Shinji said insightfully. "With the Angel attacks and everything."
"…" Tsuruya continued on sipping her soda as a chilly wind whipped around them, raising her hair into a stream of flowing green.
"I wonder why they try to attack us humans…" Shinji continued, leaning down on the railings. "Are they just…evil?"
"Good and evil…that's subjective, isn't it?" Tsuruya, much to Shinji's surprise, said. "Hey, it's starting to rain…"
"It is…" Shinji said, feeling the first spots of rain on his skin. Tsuruya's words continued on to echo in his mind as they both ran for shelter. 'Good and evil…that's subjective, isn't it?'. The rain quickly built up pace from a mere drizzle into a full downpour.
"C'mon, my place is closer." Tsuruya shouted over the bucketing rain, taking Shinji by the hand. Shinji couldn't help but notice how warm her hands were, amidst the cold pelting rain. It was a comforting and reassuring feeling, the feeling that he'd never get lost again, as long as this…angel…was here.
"Here we are, nyoron." She announced as they rounded into an old apartment block right next to the park. It was a rather long climb up to her level around a set of winding concrete, sparsely lit staircases. "Now, keys…" She murmured to herself, as she stopped by a set of potted plants beneath a balcony in front of a door. She reached in and fished out an old, worn key, with which she opened the door to her apartment.
"Well, home sweet home, for now, anyway." She smiled, gesturing at the open door. "Come in."
Shinji stepped into the simple one room apartment and proceeded to take in his surroundings as Tsuruya switched on the lamp hanging above the low table in the middle of the room. The room was bare, save the low table and the kitchen counters and stove on one side. The garbage can on one side of the room revealed that the room's occupant has been on a junk food diet for quite a bit now.
"Here you go, nyoron." Shinji looked around just in time to see something big, white, and fluffy fly in his direction. "You should dry yourself off. You can take a hot shower too, if you like." Tsuruya offered, bustling about the spartan kitchen.
"O-oh, no, it's ok, I'm fine." Shinji stammered nervously. He couldn't help but feel strangely conscious of the fact that he was currently standing in a girl's room.
"Well then, you should at least have some tea to warm up a bit." Tsuruya said, putting a kettle on the stove. Shinji couldn't help but remember the last time he had tea in a girl's home. Now that he thought about it, he had learnt quite a bit from Rei that day. Actually, now that he thought about it, most of the lessons of life he had gained so far were taught by girls, one way or another.
"How much tea should I put in?" Tsuruya suddenly asked, indicating a shoveled spoonful of tea leaves she had out.
Somehow, this felt all too familiar. Another thing he had learned from Rei was that not everyone could make tea. "Let me make the tea…" Shinji sighed, getting up and joining the apparently untalented cook.
"What about you, Tsuruya-san?" Shinji suddenly asked.
"Um?" Tsuruya asked through the biscuit dangling from her mouth, while offering Shinji a packet of said biscuits.
"If you only had a day to left to live, what would you do?" He asked, declining the biscuits while pouring out a generous yet decent amount of tea leaves into the tea pot.
"I…I would do my best to leave a piece of myself. Something for the good of others, nyoron." Tsuruya said, swallowing her biscuit.
"Good…" Shinji looked thoughtful for a few moments. "Then what do you see as being 'good'? What did you mean by, 'good and evil is subjective'?" He asked, pouring out the tea.
"It is."
"But…there's no way you can argue that what the Angels are doing isn't evil."
"Yes? Have they killed innocent people?"
"Ye….." Shinji paused. He never thought about that. The only thing the Angels have done so far is to try and attack whatever stands in their way to the NERV HQ, namely the armed forces and the Evas.
"That's just another thing about humans." Tsuruya sighed. "Judging by authority, judging by fear, and judging by all the basest of reasons."
"But….second impact was caused by Angels. They could only be here to finish the job and start third impact."
"Or, at least, that's what they tell you, nyoron." Tsuruya said smugly.
"That's….that's…." Shinji had to admit, everything he knew about the angels he learnt from his superiors. Now that he thought about it, there was always that small possibility that….no….it can't be…
The rain continued to lash against the windows, filling up the heavy silence with its thunderous raps.
"Hey, you're really good a making tea." Tsuruya suddenly smiled upon sipping some of Shinji's tea. "The taste is just right."
"I-It's a bit bitter though." Shinji said humbly. The room's atmosphere suddenly brightened again under the spell of Shinji's tea. The shadows of the previous conversation lifted and dissipated.
"Young man, you've got a confidence problem, you know that?" Tsuruya commented. "No wonder you've got problems at work. C'mon, repeat after me. 'I can do it.'"
"What?" Shinji asked, once again caught speechless.
"I. Can. Do. It." Tsuruya repeated, grasping Shinji by the hands.
"I-I…Can…D-Do…It?" Shinji stumbled over his words.
"Why are you asking me? You should know. Make a statement, will ya? I CAN DO IT!" Tsuruya said sternly, looking him straight in the eyes.
He took a deep breath. "I-I CAN DO IT!" He blurted out.
"That's the spirit." Tsuruya broke a grin and patted him on the shoulders. At that moment, Shinji felt as if he could tell her anything, everything, and she would make everything right for him. But at the same time, her knowing eyes, full of gentle understanding and reassurance, told him she already knew all there was to know.
The rest of the afternoon flitted by quickly, without any further mentioning of the Angels. They spoke of plans for the next day, Tsuruya's last day in Tokyo 3. Shinji also spent half the time trying to convince her to visit Tokyo 3 again someday, but each and every time she would just smile and sip a bit more of Shinji's tea.
"The rain's letting up." Shinji finally said, looking out the window. "And it's getting late too. I think I should be getting home." He said, looking back at Tsuruya. He was caught off guard by her staring at him, a rather strange expression adorning her face. "Uh…is there something wrong?" He asked, somewhat uneasy.
"I….well…no, nothing." She suddenly grinned again, as cheerfully as before. "Yeah, it's getting dark too. You can take my umbrella. I doubt I'll be needing it." She said, standing up before going over and rummaging a cardboard box on one side of the room.
"Th-Thanks…" Shinji said. She had wanted to tell him something. What? But the look on her face somehow persuaded him against it. Something told him it was a door, a threshold, he should never tread over.
"Well, till tomorrow then." Shinji finally said as he stepped out into the grayish blue darkness beyond her door, her umbrella in one hand.
"Ne, Shinji-kun, you still haven't answered my question. What would you do?" She suddenly asked.
"I-I…" He didn't know. "I don't know…"
"Well…" Tsuruya sighed. "At the very least, smile." She smiled warmly at him. At that moment, her figure, framed against the warm golden glow spilling out of her door, seemed as angelic as ever.
At that very moment, Shinji couldn't help but think, 'An Angel smiled at me…'
Everybody wants to be understood
Well I can hear you
The Next Day…
It continued on to rain until the very next day. Misato, concerned with the state of the synchronization, had called for a full day training session.
Needless to say, there was no way for him to get away today. There went his plans to spend the day with Tsuruya.
'I guess I should apologize tomorrow before seeing her off.' He thought.
"C'mon, this is the last day, after all." Misato said, pacing around the two. "If we don't get it perfect by tomorrow, we're finished."
"It's all this idiot's fault!" Asuka shouted, aiming an accusatory finger at the third child. "Look at him! That's the fifth time he's fallen over today!"
"Asuka, the point of synchronization is to get you two to the same wavelength. You should also do your best to adapt to his rhythm as he is to yours." Misato said wearing a worried frown on her face.
"What?! You can't expect me to…" Asuka started.
"It's all right. I'm the one who has to keep up." Shinji said, determinedly, standing up. "I can do it."
Misato couldn't help but feel slightly awed by Shinji's rather sudden change in attitude.
"Hah, let's see how far talk can get you." Asuka smirked, donning her headphones. "Ready, set, GO!"
'I can do it.' Shinji thought, ignoring Asuka's disdainful glances, as the music started.
'I can do it.'
Everybody wants to be loved
Don't give up
Because you are loved
"I can do it." Shinji thought as he bore down on the Angel before him. "I CAN DO IT!"
"…5…4…3…2…1…"
"UAAAAAARGH!" Shinji and Asuka's combined battle cries rent the air as the two Eva units delivered their combined flying kicks at the Angel's core. The core cracked and gave away to the ferocity of the attack before flashing brightly, just as the song ended.
The explosion shook the mountains surrounding Tokyo-3 as the core's S2 engine unleashed all the pure energy it contained, reducing everything around it to ash.
It took a few moments before the outside temperature dropped down to a level safe enough for Shinji to eject his entry plug and take a look outside. Asuka took advantage of the said time to nag and complain about their landing formation, which was a lot less than refined.
"Huff….she actually fell asleep after ranting and raving like that…well, it wasn't her fault. We both stayed up quite late last night." Shinji sighed as his entry plug's hatch hissed open. "Huff…what a mess…" He looked down at the two Evas, tangled together in a heap at the bottom of the now cooled molten crater. "Hey…what's…that?" He asked, noticing something glint in the bright afternoon sunlight. Shielding his eyes to get a better look, he noticed that it looked like….
"…an…entry plug?" He asked himself, disbelievingly. He leapt down from the Eva and climbed up the slope of the crater to get a better look. As he got closer, he became more and more sure of it. It certainly was an entry plug. But what was an entry plug doing….
He gasped upon reaching it. LCL was slowly trickling out of the crushed cylinder, bathing the surrounding ground in a sickly pale orange sheen. And there, half hidden by the crushed hatch, was a body…a human body…
He rushed forwards, gasping for breath, panicking. Why was there another entry plug? And why was there another pilot in it?
"Noo…." The emerald green hair, now sullied by the dirty LCL…the face…The figure trapped by the plug's hatch was definitely…
"Tsu-Tsuruya-san…" He gasped, kneeling beside the girl. "TSURUYA-SAN!" He shouted.
"Ah…?" She blinked slowly. Shinji could tell that she was having a hard time focusing on him. "Oh…Shinji-kun…you came to see me off after all…"
"Tsu-Tsuruya-san…wh-what are you doing here?!" Shinji asked, looking around. "N-Never mind…" He kicked himself mentally. "I'll go get help. You just wait."
"No…it's no use." She gently shook her head, before coughing up blood.
"H-Hey! Be quiet. They'll be here to pick us up soon." Shinji said, looking around, searching the skies for signs of the usual NERV transports that should be arriving pretty soon.
"Ne, Shinji-kun…the l-last few days…were f-fun, nyoron….th-thanks for taking me out, ne." She smiled warmly. "If only w-we could….go out again…" Her breathing grew more ragged.
"Idiot, off course…we can…" Shinji sobbed, choking back his tears.
"Hey, w-what are you crying for…" She asked softly, watching the tears leak out of Shinji's eyes. "Man….I-I can't flick y-you on the f-forehead either…" Each and every breath seemed to hurt her more than anything, and yet, she seemed determined to get her final messages across.
"Tsu-Tsuruya-san…Tsuruya-san…." Shinji sobbed. "Why? You were piloting that Angel, weren't you? But why?"
"Shinji-kun?"
"Y-yes?"
"O-one last…favour…please?"
"Y-yes?"
"P-please press the b-button o-on the neck of my sync-suit…"
"Th-This one?" Tsuruya winced as Shinji pushed the small, rectangular button sewn into the rubber polymer exterior of her pilot suit. Her pained expression slowly turned into one of calmness, without pain.
"…Morphine…" She explained weakly. "Sh-Shinji-kun…Thank you…for everything…I had…fun…" She smiled one last gentle smile as she slowly closed her eyes.
"Tsuruya-san?" The third child gasped, reaching out and touching her cheeks. They were wet with LCL. "Tsuruya-san?!" He shook her gently. "No…no…" He shook his head. "No…you can't die…you just can't….TSURUYA-SAN!"
That was all he could remember…Tsuruya's calm, smiling face, just before a sharp blow to the back of his neck caused him to drown into an oblivion darker than his scream-filled nightmares…
You are loved
Don't give up
It's just the weight of the world
The Next Day…
'Another strange ceiling…' He thought, slowly blinking his heavy eyelids. His mind felt waterlogged, heavy, clouded. What happened?
"Shinji, what happened?"
The third child slowly turned around to face the source of the voice. It was the familiar figure of his guardian, Misato, sitting beside his bed.
"Well, first of all, I'm glad you're all right…" She said, giving him a small smile. "But…what were you doing, outside your entry plug, unconscious?"
'What was I doing?' Shinji thought.
Before it suddenly hit him. "MISATO-SAN!" He cried, sitting up so quickly it caused each and every vertebra in his back burn intensely. "AAAGH…."
"Calm down, Shinji. You suffered from a light conclusion, most likely caused by a blow to your medulla, your hindbrain. It seems you slipped or something in the crater." Misato explained, gently pushing him back down onto the bed.
"N-no! Misato-san…wasn't there anything else close to where I was unconscious?! …Anyone else?" Shinji asked, staring deeply into Misato's eyes.
"Why…." Misato felt rather uneasy under Shinji's intense stare. "Well…no…you were just lying there on the crater's side…there wasn't anything else other than the Evas. As for anybody else, no, you were alone." She answered.
The sincerity in Misato's eyes and voice quickly quelled any suspicions on her in Shinji's mind. But….was all that…just a dream, then?
Later….
It was raining. Just like the last time he visited. The place seemed real enough. He remembered the stairs, the turns, the door, even the place the keys were hidden – in a flower pot under the balcony.
Only, this time, Tsuruya's warm hands weren't there to guide him.
So…it wasn't a dream?
The door opened to reveal an empty room, void of any furniture, or, indeed, any other signs of anyone ever having inhabited this particular space.
His footsteps echoed throughout the emptiness as he stepped through the deserted void. Even the air was stagnant, silent, dead.
Perhaps it was a dream…no, it was a dream, each and every day of it…and now, he has woken up in a harsh reality…
A reality without Tsuruya…
Later…
This was where they first met, the bench in front of the communal fountain. The rain had turned it into a dark, grey world. Once again he sat down heavily on the bench, this time with a heart heavier than before.
Here she had laughed in front of him for the first time, smiled at him for the first time, and showed him for the very first time that…there was a meaning to life.
A dismal flapping sound brought his attention to a space underneath the garbage can beside the bench. There, in the space underneath the can, he saw it – a rough brown sketchbook, its pages flapping sadly in the wind.
He reached down and pulled it out from its undignified hiding place before running a shivering hand over the wet rough cover.
A strong gust of wind blew open the pages, raising them in a flurry of white before stopping dead at the last page.
There he saw himself, smiling brightly back at him. How could such a thing, even an impression of it, exist? Where had she seen him smile like this, free of worry, sorrow, and the pains of the world?
Underneath, written in her rather messy handwriting, were the words 'I know you can do it."
Tsuruya spent the last few days of her life leaving a piece of herself behind – inside his heart.
"But...I killed her…I killed her…" The third child shook violently as he fell to his knees. "I killed her…she no longer lives….because I killed her…"
The rain pelted the sketchbook, leaving behind wet spots all over his sketch. It thundered on, drowning out his pained cries of sorrowed anguish, lamenting the loss of the Angel…The Angel who had smiled at him…
Don't give up
Everyone needs to be heard
You are LOVED
To Be Continued…
For sneak peaks, previews, and project updates on this fic and my other ongoing projects, feel free to visit the Unlimited Fan Works Forum, the fan community for all. The link is available through my profile page or through this address- unlimitedfanworks(dot)spreebb(dot)com.
Hope to see you there!