My first song fic…please don't hate me ^^; I just decided to try it to see how it would turn out. I hope you like it. Song used is Never Surrender by Skillet.
Nothing Left To Live For
Something wet splashed his cheeks. It was too dark to see what it was. Maybe his eyes were closed. Maybe he was just somewhere dark. Not that he cared. He stopped caring a long time ago. It really wouldn't matter if he did, anyhow. It was far too late to change things now.
More splashes. Not just his cheeks anymore – his entire body was being pelted by invisible droplets, with increasing frequency. It ran down his chin, his neck, making the collar of his shirt feel damp and cold. He could feel the liquid drops cling to his skin and clothes as they fell. Whatever this was, it was making his entire body sting. Was it acid? No…it was too cold. This was water.
Water…falling in droplets…that meant…
Rain.
…Of course, that was right. He was outside. It was raining, that was all. But why did it pain him so much? Rainwater wasn't supposed to hurt. His entire body was getting more aching and numb with each additional drop.
He was laying on something hard, something cold, something rough…pavement? Asphalt? What was he doing on the ground? In the rain? He couldn't remember. Not that he tried very hard. All he knew was the feeling that there wasn't any point in remembering anything. What would be the point? It was already too late to fix things.
Do you know what it's like when you're scared to see yourself?
Do you know what it's like when you wish you were someone else
Who didn't need your help to get by?
Do you know what it's like to want to surrender?
But right when he started to stop caring, the memories started drifting back, little by little. He was lying on the asphalt. He was hurt. Badly. He could feel it. For some odd reason he felt like he had actually intended to be here, lying on the ground, unable to move for pain. He couldn't understand why, and since he stopped scrabbling around his brain for answers, it just came to him unbidden.
Of course, that was it…that was right. He'd tried to kill himself.
But who was 'he'?
I don't want to feel like this tomorrow
I don't want to live like this today
Make me feel better, I want to feel better
Stay with me here now and never surrender
Never surrender…
How had he come to such a thought? He somehow knew that things in his life had been going wrong left and right like some kind of curse. How bad had it become that he had actually wanted to end himself? He didn't understand.
But did he actually want to?
Do you know what it's like when you're not who you wanna be?
Do you know what it's like to be your own worst enemy
Who sees the things in me I can't hide?
Do you know what it's like to want to surrender?
The more he tried to forget, the more he remembered. The more he tried to shut himself out, the more aware he became of his surroundings. The harder he tried to give up, the harder his body worked to keep him alive. The very laws of the world were working against him. Was nothing on his side anymore?
Suddenly he could hear distant noises. At first didn't sound like anything. Then the noises became louder and clearer, just enough for him to recognize as voices.
Voices. There were people here? Well, of course they would be – he was outside, and people could still walk around in the rain. The only thing he didn't understand was that the voices seemed stagnant. They didn't get closer or farther away. It was just…there. Maybe he was just hearing things in his death throe.
He didn't put too much stock into that fact. Images kept flashing in and out of his mind like a broken slideshow of his entire messed up life. The pictures kept on coming, and they wouldn't stop.
I don't want to feel like this tomorrow
I don't want to live like this today
Make me feel better, I want to feel better
Stay with me here now and never surrender
Never surrender…
His eyes suddenly began to burn. His throat began to feel constricted, like something invisible was pressing down on his trachea. It was getting harder to breathe, but he didn't try to gasp for air. Finally the end was coming. He couldn't stand seeing those images in his head anymore.
He didn't know why. He didn't know why…
But he wanted to die.
Make me feel better, you make me feel better
You make me feel better, put me back together
He wasn't sure why, but the voices around him seemed to fade away. He took comfort in that thought. Finally he wouldn't have to deal with this pain any longer.
But not just the pain. The guilt, too…
Abruptly he could hear someone right over him. It sounded like a girl.
The voice was pleading with him. More like scolding him, asking him how he'd ended up like this.
For some reason he knew that this voice wasn't a hallucination. He couldn't recognize it. Who was it? Something in that girl's tone made him want to ask who she was, but his mouth wouldn't open. His eyelids wouldn't open either. His entire body felt stiff and cold. Now – even if he wanted to – he wouldn't be able to answer her question, let alone ask his own.
Still…he liked the sound of her voice. As laden with grief as it was, her voice was…nice to listen to. He'd never heard anything so pleasant before this. Not once. Someone actually cared about what had happened to him. Maybe he didn't know this person. Maybe he just forgot.
But for once in his life, in his final moments…he was happy.
I don't want to feel like this tomorrow
I don't want to live like this today
Make me feel better, I need to feel better
Stay with me here now and never surrender
He heard her voice again. Telling him to stay with her. Her voice broke as she sobbed. Don't go anywhere, she seemed to say.
Go? Go where? He wasn't going anywhere. He couldn't move in the slightest…was she really talking to him? Was she talking to someone else? Or was it something else entirely?
She continued to sob over him. She was on the verge of a breakdown. She was calling for help, which confused him. She didn't need any help. It never occurred to him that she was actually talking about him.
He was so numb he didn't know it at first, but he gradually realized that something was touching his face. Caressing his cheek.
A hand. It was a hand. Was it the girl's? He didn't know. But it didn't matter. It would never matter to him. It was too late for him to start caring now.
Even so…he was glad he hadn't been alone in the end.
Put me back together
Never surrender
His chest stopped moving. His entire body stiffened and grew even colder than it had been in the deluge. The feeble movement of air from his nostrils ceased.
She grew increasingly panicky. "No…no! Wake up! Wake up, please!" she cried frantically. "Don't leave me! Wake up!"
He didn't stir. She continued to shake him desperately, trying to make him open his eyes and draw breath once more, but life had all but left this cold body as if it had never been there in the first place.
Somewhere in the back of her mind she knew he was gone. She didn't want to accept it.
She shook him again, almost violently. "Wake up! Wake up, already…!" Her hands slipped off his cold shoulder as she hung her head in denial as she whimpered, "Please…"
A man placed a hand on her shoulder. She tried to shake it off. But it didn't work.
"Miss, there's nothing you can do for him now," the man told her in what he meant to be a reassuring tone, but it sounded more like pity to her ears. "He's not going to wake up. He's dead."
Make me feel better
You make me feel better
She clenched the piece of notepad paper tightly to her chest, crumpling it under the pressure, so much that her knuckles were bone white.
Stay with me here now and never surrender.
"I'm so sorry."
And…that's it. I hope you enjoyed. This is much shorter than what I usually write, but I still hope you liked this anyway. Before anyone asks, I didn't name any of the characters on purpose. The ambiguity of the story was intentional. The characters could be anyone, or no one. I will leave the rest up to your imagination, depending on how you decide to take this. Thank you for reading. :) Review if possible, please.
EDIT: I decided to take out the girl's quotes from the boy's point of view and overall revised the dialogue and wording. I found it a bit too jarring.