Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam or any of it's characters. If I did I wouldn't be writing this, I'd laughing rolling in a pile of money and Gundam merchandise.
Notes: I wrote this cos I should be finishing my other fic 'Two Flew Over the Gundam Nest', but I wrote a load of it at college, emailed it to myself at home, but it hasn't arrived ^_^;. So I can't write any more until I get a hold of that part at college. Sorry people! But please read and review this fic.
The Day the Blancmange Crumbled.
By
FreeThinker
Heero and Relena walked through the park, the sun was starting to set and the sky was full of reds and purples. Relena grinned to herself, Heero had sent an email, saying he wanted to tell her something very important, and Relena thought she knew what it was.
When she heard about this little stroll through the park, she had spent the next 6 hours getting ready. She had her beauticians and stylist working, and her dresser had carefully put on every petty-coat and tied every bow of her pink dress. Relena had been 'fashionably late' at the meeting time, after all it what was expected of a girl and she was sure that the irritation Heero had put on was only to be cute.
The pink ribbon in her hair rustled as she glanced over at the man accompanying her, 'oh Heero' she thought to herself, 'you look as annoyed as you usually do, you just need a woman's touch to show how you truly feel'.
Her mind started thinking about the wedding plans, 'We'll have it in cathedral near the Peacecraft family home. There will be pink ribbon all the way up the aisle, and pink roses strewn where I am to step. I'll have 6 bridesmaids, and Heero will look so handsome in a suit' she wrinkled her nose, 'and not in those scruffy spandex'.
Relena sighed and took in the sun set. It was such a perfect evening; Heero must have been planning this for weeks, to get the mood just right. It was just like in the shoujo-mangas she spent the days reading.
All of a sudden Heero stopped, he had been silent the entire walk, and now he looked as if he was trying to say something. 'Oh yes my love' Relena pleaded 'let your beautiful words flow my turtle dove'.
"Relena…" Heero nervously started. "I have something to say."
The pink Jell-O held it's breath.
"You see…I…" And that was as far as he got, before the girl flung her arms around him, tears brimming in her eyes.
"I know Heero, I feel it too! It's okay to have feelings! We can soon be together and have lots of babies!"
Heero looked like a rabbit caught in head lights, his mouth wide open "B-but Relena…"
"Yes my darling." She said her grip getting painfully tight on his arms, "I love you too." Before the poor lad knew what was happening, she leaned in and kissed his lips.
The action caused Heero to push the pink mass of ribbons away. "No Relena, I've come here to tell you…I 'prefer the company of men'…"
The blancmange quivered before starting, "Of course you do, what man doesn't like to have his drinking buddies and such…why Milliardo always has his guy friends around, sometimes they even spend the night!"
Heero frowned trying to get his message across, "No, Relena, I'm gay."
The smile was still across the dolled up face "Everyone at the Sank Kingdom is bright and cheerful too, you'll fit right in! Why, who isn't a little bit of a fruit…"
Heero gripped her arms, frustration getting the better of him. "Relena, I am a HO-MO…" he was shaking her with each syllable to make sure it was sinking in, "…SEX-U-AL."
The wad of bubble-gum went completely still, it only mouthing silently the last word that had been said to it. Then she quivered, her bottom lip trembling.
Then there was a flash, and they both looked over to a bush. A figure clothed in a black priest's outfit tumbled out, it was Duo, and he was holding a telescope-lensed camera.
"Hey sweet cheeks!" Duo grinned and shouted while waving to them, "I got the exact moment her heart broke!"
Heero turned to him and put his hands on his hips, "Now Duo, that was just mean."
"Oh please," Duo said, waving it off with a flick of his wrist, "She's been stalking you for years! When ever we get down to some hot luvin' it's always 'Oh Duo, do you think she's bugged the place again' and I just wanted to take a Kodak moment for when she finally learnt the truth."
"Do you think her expression was that good?" Heero enquired his head tilting slightly.
"Oh you bet your hot little ass," Duo patted the camera, "This one's going into the special photo album."
Relena watched the exchange, her brow furrowed and her lip continued to tremble. "Y-you two? Together?"
"Oh Relena," Duo started, flicking his hair over his shoulder, "He's been out of the closet since forever, you've only been too dumb to notice."
"But you've always loved me Heero."
"For god's sake, no I haven't! What more do I need to do!" Heero slapped his hand to his forehead "Do you want a demonstration or something?"
"Heeero, say it isn't true? This is all a test to prove my love?"
"That's it!" Heero cried, waving his arms about and then pointing to his lover, "Duo, get your clothes off!"
The braided pilot grinned, and started to undo his black belt buckle.
"Nooo!" Relena screeched. "I-I think I understand." She turned to leave, thinking that by doing so she would be holding onto some dignity (although she was wrong). But her tone turned bitter as she shot over her shoulder "I've always thought Trowa is pretty cute anyway." With that she ran down the park path...
Duo still had his hand on his belt, as he watched the pink candy run away…far far away…
The annoyance gone, Heero turned his attention to his partner, and pushed him up a tree letting a passionate kiss develop. Their tongues explored each other's mouth, both their bodies getting hot and needy.
"Honey," Duo said momentarily braking the kiss, "Do you think we should have told her that Trowa's having a threesome with Quatre and Wufei tonight?"
Heero dreamily replied, "Don't worry…someone will tell her…"
Fini.
Author's notes:
Duo: Hey I was actually quite a bitch in this fic.
FT: You're a bitch cos I'm a bitch when it comes to Relena.
Duo: Hey calm down, I wasn't complaining or anything…oh and readers if ya got this far, please review.
FT: You gotta do it now, Duo's told you!
Duo: I'm just your slave aren't I, completely at your beck and call?
FT: I wish.