I walked past Kendall and Jo who were holding hands as they walked out of our apartment. Entering 2J I noticed James staring at the space that Kendall had just vacated with a sad, dreamy look on his face.
"What's up man?" I asked.
He blinked at me vacantly, completely zoned out, before focusing, realising who I was and responding.
"Nothing Logie, just thinking," he said.
"James, when do you ever just think?" I joked.
"Uh-huh," he muttered.
'That was weird, he always has some sort of lame comeback,' I thought to myself.
"Jamie, what's the matter?" I asked, walking over to sit next to him at the table.
"I'm fine Logan," he assured me.
James doesn't call me Logan very often, usually only when he is upset or angry. I thought back to the way he had been staring at the place Kendall had been standing and decided to guess at the problem.
"Did Kendall do something James?"
"What? Oh, no of course not."
I noticed his eyes brighten slightly at the mention of Kendall's name.
"Are you sure? You don't have to protect him Jamie."
"Kendall would never do anything to upset me, you know that Logan," he pointed out.
He said he was fine earlier but now he is saying he's upset. Something is bothering him and I have to figure out what it is.
"James, you can tell me anything. I will always be here for you buddy."
He looked at me and I saw his shoulders sag before he began speaking.
"I like Kendall," he said quietly, looking down at his hands.
I was confused, Kendall was one of his best friends of course he liked him.
"Um… I like Kendall too James, he's one of my buddies."
James looked back up at me with a small, sad smile on his face.
"Not like that Logan, I like him. Actually; screw that, I love him."
Oh.
He took my silence as more than just shock and turned away from me.
"I'll understand if you're disgusted by me," he said slowly, standing up.
I snapped out of my trance and grabbed his wrist, pulling him back down onto the couch.
"Jamie; I'm not disgusted by you, you're one of my best friends and I like you just the way you are."
Before I could finish my little speech I felt myself being pulled into James' strong arms.
"Thank you," he said as he released me.
"It's alright James. Now, how long have you liked Kendall for?"
He muttered something quietly to himself that I couldn't hear.
"What was that James?" I asked.
"Two years," he repeated.
James had never been in a serious relationship, or one that lasted more than a few days so hearing that he had liked Kendall for two years was really surprising.
"Have you told him how you feel?" I asked, shocked.
"I was going to a few months ago but…" he trailed off.
He didn't need to finish his sentence though, because I knew what had happened a few months ago.
"Jo." I said.
He nodded.
"I saw how happy he was with her and I didn't want to ruin that. If being with her is what makes him happy then that is okay because what I want more than anything is to see him smile and laugh every day. If she is the one that can make him do that, then I don't mind not having him."
"Wow, James that is…"
He interrupted me.
"Even though it tears me up a little bit more every time I see her touch him, I would rather he was happy with her than unhappy with me. I'm letting him go, because I believe that when you really love someone you would do anything to see them smile, no matter how hard it is."
Before I could reply he walked out, leaving me to think about what he had said. I had seen a deep, mature side to James that I had never seen before. He had made me feel like a silly little kid who knows nothing about love.
I stood up and wiped away a stray tear. My heart ached for James and I wanted to run and tell Kendall so that he would stop hurting but my brain knew that James was right and that it wasn't the right thing to do.
"I'm going to take a nap," I muttered to nobody in particular before making my way into my room.
