Never Will Be
Description: Even though days have passed, even though she knows that he will never like her the way she likes him, even though it's so wrong, and even though he is so far away, she still finds herself dreaming of the day when she'll finally be able to see him again. 2786. AU
Haru knows it's wrong. She knows it's so, so wrong, but she can't help it. She likes him. She likes him so much. Even though it's been at least two months since she's seen him, her heart is still calling for the boy. She lowers her head and closes her eyes to the music flowing out of the speakers. Thank the heavens for music, she thinks. She hates him for making her like this. She wants to curse him to the ground, but she doesn't want to. She wants the boy to be blessed, forever blessed with the best of luck that life could possibly offer. She wants to see the boy, but she can't. It's wrong. She already has someone else. He has never belonged to her and never will. She wants to tell the boy how much he means to her, (oh he's come to mean so much in such a short while,) but she doesn't want to.
She's scared. Haru is no stranger to rejection. She knows how scary it is. She's told people how simple it is, but really, it isn't. Rejection isn't simple at all.
First Chapter: A Scene
She is pleased for her friend, who has found romance with a boy named Tsuna. She's seen the boy a couple of times, but doesn't really think much of him. She just hopes that he never hurts her friend. Because Haru doesn't want to go beat up a total stranger for breaking her friend's heart. When Kyoko sleeps over, Haru is absolutely exasperated. But she's happy at the same time. Her friend Kyoko is using her laptop to talk to the boy who is miles away. She is sullen that Kyoko won't pay attention to her. Haru is absolutely frustrated at her friend and wonders what the point of the sleepover even is. Because she wants to give Kyoko some privacy, she goes about the house doing her own business. She plays the piano, sings, dances and watches some television, but really, it's just not the same.
When the moon is high in the sky, she can still hear her friend giggling and talking with that boy. Usually, the two of them would be talking, but this time, her friend Kyoko is giggling with the boy Tsuna. Haru shakes her head and sighs a half-hearted sigh. But she can't blame her friend. She knows what it's like to like someone. So she doesn't say anything and instead goes on the computer to play some games. Ten levels later, it's two in the morning and her friend is now in the bathroom still talking to that boy on Haru's laptop. Haru rolls around on the floor and stares at her pillow. She decides to just go to sleep by herself. It's a very silent night, she thinks.
And then she hears her friend Kyoko laughing and Haru shrugs.
After a long time, Haru falls asleep to the sound of rustling blankets and cricket chirps. Hours later, she wakes up with the desperate need to use the bathroom. She silently curses herself for drinking all that water. As she gets up, she notes that Kyoko is nowhere to be seen. Meaning that her friend is still in the bathroom. There are two bathrooms in her house, but one is currently occupied by her friend and the other is right next to her mother and father's room. She thinks about using the one near her parent's room and then realizes she can't, because she really has to go. Going to that bathroom would mean climbing up the stairs, which meant that she'd have to go even more. But the bathroom Kyoko is in is only a few feet away.
So she runs to the bathroom her friend is in and snaps the door open. Kyoko is surprised, but the scared look is replaced with a smile. "Kyoko-chan, I really have to…You know, go. So if you and your boyfriend here don't mind watching me do my business-"
Kyoko recoils with a wince when she realizes what Haru is trying to say and quickly leaves the cubicle with the laptop and a flurry of apologies. Moments later, Haru flushes the toilet and washes her hands. After she dries her hands and turns off the light, she walks back to her sleeping bag. Haru hears her friend talking and immediately hides herself in the shadows for some reason. Her friend doesn't see her, because Haru has carefully hidden herself too well. Haru hears her friend whispering a soft 'good night and sleep well.' And after a couple of moments, the video chat finally ends and Haru comes out of the shadows. "You must really like your boyfriend," she says with a smile. "You've been talking to him non-stop since the moment you came here."
Kyoko plays with her hair and shakes her head. "We're not…We're not dating." That gets Haru really surprised. "You're not dating him? Why?" Kyoko just shrugs and Haru decides not to press it any farther. "It's late. We should go to sleep." When she and her friend Kyoko are in their sleeping bags, Haru decides to ask a question. "Do you really like him? Like…Do you like him a lot?" There is no pause and no silence. There is no hesitance in Kyoko's answer. "Yes. I do."
Long after they are asleep, Haru no longer holds any hard feelings against her friend. How could she hold a grudge against a person who was under the spell of love? Months later, she feel sthe urge to tease Kyoko about the boy. "Kyoko-chan, how's your boyfriend doing?" Haru sees a dark look on her friend's face and guesses that something must've happened. "We never were boyfriend and girlfriend," Kyoko says in a frank manner. "We're just not talking anymore." Haru doesn't know what to say to this. She opens her mouth and then closes it. When exactly had this happened?
Love is just too confusing for her to comprehend.
If there were such things as portals,
I'd be one of the first hundred people to try it out
No matter what, no matter how,
I must try to see you
If I can just teleport myself to where you are right now,
I could be happy for a while
But then I'd grow even more selfish
Truth be told,
I just really miss you
note: A project that I, The 2786 Project, had definitely not been planning to work on. More chapters are to come, but this is something that I want to portray with lots of raw emotions so this will take some time like the way L'amore did. Hopefully I will be able to show just as much…Rather short, isn't it?
extra note: diamrem will be coming out shortly!