Windfro, Bobobo's Brother From Another Mother
Note: Bobobo-bo-Bobobo fanfiction (be prepared for peculiarity all around). In the travels of Beauty, Bobobo and Don Patch, the 3 befriend a man who claims to be Bobobo's brother from another mother. Matters simply become stranger from there, especially with the persuer Gasser (or as I like to affectionately call him "Stinkbomb") following them.
Chapter 1—A Native American Bobobo ?
It seemed that the journey to put a stop to the headshavers was long and coming. The world was a significantly odd and peculiar place at this time, but the oddest person of all would be Bobobo and his motley crew of friends. On the way to wherever they were going Bobobo started complaining about being hungry.
"Is it me or are you always hungry ? Are you some sort of insatiable eating machine ?", Beauty said, shaking her head back and forth.
"I have no idea what you just said but there is a restaurant ahead of us !", Bobobo exclaimed, barely able to contain his excitement.
"I've got a jones for green tea ice cream.", Don Patch said, rushing in after him.
"I'll help pay the bill and keep an eye on those two.", Gasser murmured to Beauty, who in turned blushed when he wasn't looking. She had to admit that despite his certain 'affliction', he was still very handsome and quite the gentleman.
After the meal the four friends had begun their trek again to continue the mission they had so willingly taken. In a meadow, among thousands of sheep was a dark-skinned tall, lanky man who looked an awful lot like Bobobo except he was wearing Native American garb. He seemed to be roaming among the sheep and he caught a rabbit to eat. He ate the poor thing on a stick and didn't seem bothered by it one bit. Suddenly, he saw Bobobo and tears began to poor from his shaded eyes.
"I know you ! We're brothers ! How can I be that I am meeting you now ! We should've been reunited years ago. Perhaps it is a sign from the Great Spirit !", Windfro said, generously embracing Bobobo.
"W-What !", Don Patch said, his eyes practically bugging out of his head.
"You never told me about this guy...", Gasser added.
"Just wait one New York minute here. Did you just say we were brothers ? As far as I can remember...whoever you are, I don't have any siblings. The closest thing I have to a sibling is Don Patch here.", Bobobo said, honestly.
"Oh, now you're just flattering me. I still demand more on air time and close ups on the show !", Don Patch said, pouting.
"We are, Bobobo ! I'm Windfro. I'm your brother from another mother ! If you don't believe me I have the paperwork to prove it.", Windfro said, becoming emotional yet again.
"Ummm...oookay. Well, I don't have time to look at your undeniable evidence. We have headshavers to locate. If you won't be a nuisance you can come alone, but I give you considerable warning. Be warned of Gasser.", Bobobo said.
"Say no more, Brother of mine. With a name like Gasser, I know I should stay downwind at all times.", Windfro said, wittily. Gasser rolled his eyes. He hated being mocked but with his "condition" it was kind of hard not to tease or taunt him.
Chapter 2—Where Are We Going Again ?
Our party of five (no not the television show...our heroes), hadn't bumped into any advisaries recently, but it seemed that they were going in circles. In an hour they had come back to the restaurant where they had originally eaten.
"Did any one of you pack a map ?", Don Patch asked, inquisitively. All the others looked in their pockets, seeing if they had stashed a map somewhere.
"None of you packed a map ! Now how are we supposed to find our way ?", Beauty whimpered.
"No worries. Windfro can listen to the voices of the land, but he needs complete silence.", Windfro said, cupping a hand to his ear. Don Patch the doubter, stifled a giggle. Beauty couldn't believe what she was seeing. This trip was getting stranger by the moment, but she did it out of her deepening crush on Gasser. He was probably the sanest one among them, and that...was troubling.
Despite the fact that Windfro's so-called "skills" were impressive, the five friends found themselves lost again, but this time in the field where they had met Windfro to begin with.
"I'm starting to think you're a fraud, Windfro.", Bobobo said, scolding him.
"No, we have to complete our mission ! But first, it's getting late. I will continue tapping into the spirit realm and hopefully I can get us back on the right track.", Windfro said, confidently.
"I really hope he's just another crazy fan of yours. We really don't need another whackbag on this show !", Don Patch whispered into Bobobo's ear. Bobobo nodded. However, they all knew Windfro was correct. Almost by magic, he had set up tents, gotten firewood, speared some trout for dinner, and they had sat down for dinner and were quickly off to bed.
Chapter 3—Yo...Momma ?
When they woke up, a rather masculine woman (equipped with Barry White voice and linebacker shoulders) had given Windfro a rather rude awakening.
"Did I give you permission to go out alone, Winfro ? No ! I must tell you you have really broken your mother's heart. How dare you defy me ! By the time we arrive home, someone is going to get a very serious lecture from me and Lord knows what from your father !", Windfro's mother said, in an irate tone. All the while, she was still dragging Windfro away by his ear.
"Oooo, busted !", Don Patch said, in a sophomoric tone.
"Shut up. No one asked for you opinion.", Windfro said.
"Is that any way to talk to your friends, Windfro ? Someone needs a lesson in manners.", Windfro's mother said, angrily.
"I would have to guess this guy isn't your brother.", Beauty said, quietly.
"Yeah, well, despite the resemblance...His mother is definitely not yours.", Don Patch added.
"I think the whole Barry White voice and Latina background pretty much ruled that out.", Gasser said astutely.
"Thank you Allah, Praise Buddah and Hallelujah Jesus Christ !", Bobobo said. Beauty could only hope there were no religious types around to be offended by Bobobo's rants.
Once again they were on their journey, but this time without the peculiarly dressed fanboy, Windfro. Although Windfro was no longer in the picture (or at least he would be for a while until he learned his lesson), the four friends continued their journey to find the head "Headhunters" but it seemed that they were on a wild goose chase. Perhaps that is what is really was. Even if it was only a ruse and a neverending search that led them nowhere, it was the whole adventure that mattered. Besides, there was never a dull moment so it couldn't possibly be boring. Strange, yes of course, but never boring.
Chapter 4—The Beat Goes On
Of course, every so often, the occasional "fill in" character would complain to Bobobo about not having a bigger part. Don Patch, who admitted he looked better on camera was floored. He couldn't imagine some primadonna stealing his thunder and taking his spotlight. It was just something the lesser known characters would do to push his buttons. Trust me, it didn't take much to make Don Patch explode. He could be calm one minute and wigging out the next.
Despite this, he received the most fanletters of all the characters. The whole act that he put on was just for show and people adored it. Just like the rest of the cast and ensemble, he was out there to make the people laugh and entertain.
They had gotten back on track and Windfro had joined them again. His indeniable "truth" had been debased and shown to be DNA records that he had done himself. In spite of that embarassment, the journey continued and Windfro continued worshipping Bobobo. Like Bobobo, he had talents of his own, but unlike Bobo, they didn't amount to much of anything.
"Have you ever heard the coyote when the moon is full ?
Have you heard tropical birds over a waterfall?
Have you ever screamed during a chilly, chilly brain freeze ?
Have you ever run into a walllllllllllllllll ?", Windfro sang, and quite horribly at that.
"Stop it. Stop it now or I will have to pummel you until you can't move.", Don Patch threatened.
"Gotcha.", Windfro said, backing away sheepishly. There was no more singing during the trek but there were plenty of distractions along the way. Out in the middle of nowhere there was a crepe vendor and Bobobo bought his vending booth from him.
"Holy moley, I didn't know you were that loaded !", Don Patch exclaimed. Don wasn't jealous because he too was getting a lot of money from being on the Bobobo show himself.
It was just one of the few perks from being a popular anime character.
Epilogue
Did they ever meet the "head honcho" ? Some sources say yes, some say no. Some say they settled their differences over a civilized game of Go. Others say he was defeated and those who had lost their hair became satisfied members of Hair Club For Men. As for Windfro, he remained Bobobo's biggest fan and often followed him wherever he went. No one really knows for sure what happened in the journey other than those who took it or the writers of the show.
Even I as an observer don't really know how this story came to a close. But I can tell you that the trek never ends and it is always continuing. The next place these guys will be will probably be at your local convention, signing photo glossies. These guys do get around, so if you're in the Sacremento area this weekend, give Windfro a shout out for me ! Thank ye. Thank ye very much.
December 31, 2005