Before all the words had left my mouth, I regretted it. What was I thinking?
I finished what I'd been in the middle of saying. The look of devastation on his face was something I would never forget.
I couldn't do any more damage, so I ran. I ran out of the lair and into the sewers. I knew I should've apologized, but if I'd said anything, he would've burst into tears. He puts on this fake sense of security, and I could tell.
As I ran away from my brothers, my family, everything warm and familiar, my mind wandered. I kept thinking back to all the good times I'd had with my brothers.
But then what kept flashing through my head were pictures of me and my brothers fighting. Sure, no one's perfect and they fight occasionally, but we were different.
Growing up with three older bros who boss you around and never being able to get away from said bros…it gets to you. Being a ninja, you never know where anyone is, so you constantly have to be on your guard. Trust me, I know.
One time…Okay, it's happened multiple times, but this specific one time, I fell asleep in the middle of a training session. I woke up when I realized I couldn't breathe. And they wouldn't get off me until I started blacking out.
Then, a couple days later, I fell asleep at the breakfast table and then Raph just attacked me and scared the crap out of me!
Tears started forming in my eyes. I realized I'd never felt this sorry before. Leo could get a little bossy sometimes, but he didn't deserve what I'd given him. I'd never given him the respect he deserved as the oldest and I'd probably just shattered what little self-confidence he actually had.
I wanted to run back to the lair, jump into Leo's arms and tell him how sorry I was. But there were two problems with that plan.
1: I had no idea where I was.
2: I had no idea how to get home.
Being only nine years old and not even close to being a good enough ninja to backtrack, I sat down on the cold cement and cried.
It seemed like hours before Master Splinter found me. He pulled me close to him and just held me. When I'd finally turned off the waterworks, Master Splinter took my hand and led me back home to the lair.
As soon as we got home, I ran to find Leo. It wasn't so hard, as he was almost always in the training room uh…training.
I sprinted and made a flying tackle hug at my oldest bro. We landed in a heap, but I clung tight as I blubbered. I was so caught up in the emotion of it that even I had no idea what I was saying.
Leo gasped and I let him get up, but then I just hugged him again. Not quite so tight, though.
After what seemed like a long time of us just hugging, Don and even Raph joined the hug.
"You guys are awesome," Raph whispered almost inaudibly.
"I've been such a butthead lately," Donny said. "I'm sorry, guys."
"Guys, I'll do my best to become a better leader," Leo stated.
As we broke up the cornucopia of love, I had the sudden urge to start laughing. I knew that we'd probably be fighting the next day, but who cares?
I'd been a long time since I'd felt that happy. In fact, I don't think I'd ever been that happy before. And I started to laugh.
First it was a giggle, then a chuckle, and it escalated until I was laughing like a maniac.
My bros looked at me like I was insane then they, too, started to laugh.
And it was then and there that our bond grew. We all started rolling on the floor, laughing our guts out until Sensei told us it was bedtime. It was also when I realized I was happy with my family.
Whenever I'm happy, I laugh.
And I laugh because I've known sadness.
A/N: Find out why Raph, Don and Leo went along with the cornucopia of love in the rest of the stories coming soon: Life, Wisdom, and Strength.