The Changing Destinies Series: Book Four

To Whatever End

-Kathryn-

The deep, inky blackness of the night was insatiable, stretching endlessly onwards and devouring everything it touched. Nothing challenged it, save for the dim glow of low-burning coals piled at my feet as I watched the remains of my modest campfire slowly die out. The bright streaks of orange against an otherwise shadowed landscape were hypnotizing, and somehow I found deep satisfaction in watching them as I sat beneath the edge of a scattered treeline somewhere along the base of the Misty Mountains' southern tail. The world had fallen silent and still around me, with not even so much as a single star breaking through the clouds above. It was as if Middle-Earth itself was aware of what was coming, holding its breath in preparation. The faint, cool breeze picked up just enough to make me shiver, and I instinctively drew my cloak tighter around my shoulders. Ever since I'd left Ithilien, an uneasy knot had formed in my stomach and refused to leave. No matter what I did, I couldn't shake the small pinprick of fear that'd settled in the back of my mind, growing stronger and stronger each day. At first, I had dismissed it as nothing more than me questioning my decision to leave Faramir behind, but the more I became aware of its presence, the more I realized it wasn't that at all. It was a fear of something much greater - something I'd always known, but refused to acknowledge for the longest time because it had never been relevant until now. But now it was all but inescapable.

The end was nearly in sight.

And it terrified me.

My gaze remained glued to the coals, but my mind spun wildly with a million and one thoughts. It didn't even seem possible, but... it was almost over. Everything. The quest, the war... Suddenly the story I knew from Lord of the Rings was beginning to enter its final chapter, and before I knew it, it would be done, and then... then what? That was what scared me, really. The "what." What would happen after this adventure was finished? What was I supposed to do then? Just go home? But the idea felt foreign to me still. Go home where? To Edoras? Just live out the rest of my life tending to horses until I die? I swallowed as the thought sunk in. The rest of my life. I'm going to be stuck here for the rest of my life. At one point, I'd still been clinging on to the hope that I'd be able to get back to Earth somehow after the war was over, but now I was pretty well convinced it was no longer an option. None of us had any idea how we'd even gotten here in the first place, and the last thing anyone had time for was going off and doing the presumably endless amounts of research it would take to figure out how to get us home. So we'd all just accepted the truth for what it was: no one was going back. Erin had never seemed super bothered by it, but I understood why. I mean, she practically had a whole life made for her here already. She was living in her dream world, was friends with the elves, was dating a goddamn prince for crying out loud... She knew what she was doing. She knew her purpose. But me? God... I had no idea what was going on with me.

Old memories replayed themselves in my mind as I sat there in the dark. Twice I'd thought I'd known what my purpose here was, but both times I'd been wrong. First I thought I'd been brought here to save Theodred, but he'd still died. Then I thought I was meant to save Boromir, and that failed, too. What else was there beyond that? Surely I hadn't been brought into an entirely different universe just to have those few conversations with Faramir in Ithilien - anyone could've done that, and it wasn't even anything to further the plot. Really, it had just been an errand for a friend. So what was the point? What was I doing here? What justified ripping me away from my family, my friends, and an entire life back on Earth to bring me here?

For a moment, my gaze drifted to the sword resting in the grass beside me, and I remembered Galadriel's prophetic statement from our final moments in Lothlórien. You are made for greater things in this world, Kathryn. By the end of this great war, you will find your purpose and strength. By now, though, I'd begun to seriously doubt her words. The final battle for Middle-Earth would be here before we knew it, and I still didn't even have so much as an inkling of what I was supposed to do with the thing. Gandalf had told me it was a weapon Sauron himself feared, but I didn't understand why such a powerful blade had been passed down to me. It wasn't my job to destroy the Dark Lord or command legions of armies against him, so what was I supposed to do with it? And why had such a big responsibility fallen to me, of all people?

I glanced up at the skies, wishing for even the faintest twinkling of a star to break through the gloom and offer comfort, but nothing came. What do you want from me? I thought, looking back to the dim coals as a sense of aimlessness settled on me like a second cloak. Why am I here?

What am I made for?

–

-Erin-

I cast uneasy glances left and right as my horse picked her way through the twisting, gnarled mess of Fangorn, diligently following the procession ahead despite the uneven terrain. Even now, the forest held an unnatural air, and I couldn't help but feel wary despite knowing we were completely safe. Fréa, at least, seemed to be handling things better than I, the dark grey mare never once slowing or showing any sign of fear. She barely even needed me to guide her, although part of me resented that fact because it would've given me something to focus on. Instead, I had nothing, mindlessly staring at a spot between Fréa's ears as she kept moving forward. Our company rode in silence, as had been the case for most of our journey, which had made it an uncomfortable one. And despite my best attempts, I couldn't ignore the tiny voice in the back of my mind constantly reminding me I was the cause of it. For a moment, I glanced up to where Legolas and Gimli sat atop Arod several yards ahead, with Aragorn just in front of them. At one time, I likely would've been laughing and joking with the three of them as we all rode together. But things were different now. My gaze fell as a familiar guilt stung my chest. I had made things different.

Before my thoughts turned too dark, however, I caught myself, forcing my mind to shift in a different direction. Edoras was the first thing I came up with, and for maybe the dozenth time in a week I sorely wished I was there instead of here. I was beginning to resent and question why Gandalf had even asked me to come with them in the first place - there was no reason for me to be present during their little meeting with Saruman. At least, not that I could see. Maybe the old wizard knew something I didn't. Either way, I still wasn't too happy about it. I still had injuries from Helm's Deep I was slowly recovering from, which made constantly riding horseback a bit of a pain. Not to mention I was exhausted, and probably smelled awful, and still had blood stains on some of my clothes I hadn't managed to get out before we'd left. All in all, I really wasn't in the mood to deal with a grumpy wizard under house arrest at the moment.

But just then, the edge of the thick, dark forest came within sight, bringing my focus back to the present. I suppose I should just keep my mouth shut while we're in there, I thought. I'll just let everything happen as it should so we can get this over with and get back to Edoras. Whatever. Straightening up in my seat, I fixed my gaze on the back of Éomer's head in front of me, stewing in my mild annoyance as we began making our exit from Fangorn. Little did I know the surprise waiting for me beyond the last line of trees.

–

-Kaia-

Snickering laughter escaped me as I watched Pippin try and catch the smoke wafting through the air with his bare hands for the third time in an hour. "What are you doing?"

A crooked smile split his face as well, his red-rimmed eyes crinkling. "Can't let good smoke like that go to waste! It's criminal!" He nodded to the crudely made, but effective joint we'd managed to make together after scrounging around Saruman's store rooms. "This method of yours is better than any pipe in all the Shire, I'd bet!"

My laughter only continued as I watched him take another hit, and I shook my head. "I still can't believe we got that to work." I took another drink from the bottle of red wine in my hand, grinning. "You are so ridiculously high right now, Pip."

"And you're drunk," he pointed out.

"Hey, hey, hey," I shushed him. "Only mildly." He laughed, and I did too, though a familiar, slightly hazy tilt to the world told me he was at least partially right.

Pippin's gaze drifted off into the distance, a dumb smile still on his face. "I feel like I'm back at The Green Dragon!" he started off, reaching for his own cup. "A mug of ale in my hand... putting my feet up on a settle after a hard day's work!" He lifted his feet up from where they dangled off the edge of Isengard's ruined outer wall, closing his eyes and envisioning the scene with a pleasant hum.

I shot him a knowing look. "Somehow I doubt you even know what a hard day's work feels like." He shrugged, and we both laughed again as he tore off another piece of pork for himself. I leaned back against the rough stone, grinning and polishing off the last few bites of a plump red apple. As I chased it down with wine, I flung the core over my head nonchalantly, hearing it land in the flooded area behind us with a plop. My gaze drifted upwards following Pippin's trail of smoke, relishing in what was shaping up to be a gorgeous day. The sun was high, the sky was a brilliant blue, and I was eating and drinking my fill without a care in the world. It was perfect. I closed my eyes, feeling the soft breeze on my face. After months of captivity and starvation, I was actually enjoying myself. I was safe. I was happy. For once... life was good.

Suddenly, a rustling from within the forest caught my attention, and I opened my eyes again to see several figures on horseback emerging from the treeline. Pippin let out a cheerful laugh and raised his mug in greeting, and my heart soared when I spotted the first familiar face at the head of the line. "Gandalf!" I sat up, beaming as the old wizard rode forward.

"My dear Kaia," he chuckled, smiling warmly up at me. "I had suspected we might find you here, after all this time."

I gave a half-shrug, spreading my arms. "And here I am." But then someone else rode out from beneath the trees, and my face fell when I saw him. "Oh my God..." In an instant, I'd abandoned the wine bottle and leapt down from the crumbling wall, running up to the man as he slid off his horse. "Aragorn!" As soon as he turned around, I drew him into a hug, relief flooding over me at the sight of my dear friend. "Thank God you're alive," I whispered.

He pulled back, the shock evident on his face as he stared at me in disbelief. "I could say the same to you," he replied, looking me over. "We thought you were dead."

I smiled a bit. "Well, I'm still here. Alive and in one piece."

"Thank the Valar for that," he chuckled, shaking his head slightly.

I nodded, prepared to say something else to him, but suddenly his gaze flicked to something behind me, and a moment later, I heard another shellshocked voice quietly whisper my name. "...Kaia?"

My eyes went wide, knowing full well who it was before I even turned. Still, I froze as soon as I'd spun to face her, feeling an overwhelming tangle of relief, joy, and utter shock slam into me all at once. She was right there. A bit beat up, and surprisingly with less hair than the last time I'd seen her, but she was there. "...Holy shit..." I breathed. "You're-"

"-alive?" Erin gasped, openly gaping at me as if I was an ancient myth come to life. "...Oh my God!" Then she blinked, as if suddenly realizing I was real, and leapt forward, all but tackling me in a hug which I immediately returned. "Kaia!" Her voice cracked as she threw her arms around me. "Oh my God, you're here! You're here, I never thought you were - It's been so long, I thought... oh, my God..." She pulled back, and I could see tears in her eyes. "You're alive," she said again. "You're okay!"

I nodded, feeling my own chest tighten. "Yeah," I said, smiling. "Yeah, I'm okay."

She continued to stare at me, trying to process everything just like I was. "You've been in Isengard all this time?"

"Yeah," I nodded, pulling her into another hug. "It's a long story. I just... holy shit, I'm so glad you're safe." Memories of the horrible things I'd seen in the palantír came back to me, and I closed my eyes to shut them out. "I was sure you were dead," I whispered.

"So was I," she whispered back. "You have no idea how worried I was when I heard you weren't with Pippin." At that, she drew back again, now looking at me with a questioning gaze. "What happened?"

My expression sobered a bit, and I shook my head. "... A lot of things. I'll tell you about it later." I heard the whinny of another horse behind me and turned, seeing Legolas and Gimli sitting on a bright white stallion together. "Aww, that's cute."

The elf simply smiled and shook his head. "It is good to see you, Kaia."

"We missed ya, lass!" Gimli piped up.

"I missed you all, too," I replied. "I can't wait to hear about all the fun you guys had without me. Especially with these two." I glanced from Legolas to Erin with a grin, but it vanished a second later when the elf's only response was a polite smile before quickly looking elsewhere. I looked back to Erin, equally shocked to see her eyes turned downwards, with no trace of a smile whatsoever on her face. Pippin started giving an overdramatic introduction to Isengard behind us, but I turned back to Erin in confusion, lightly grabbing her arm. "Wait, what's going on?" I whispered. "What the hell happened?"

She sighed, looking up at me again, though this time I was surprised to see a deep pain in her eyes. "A lot of things," she answered quietly. "I'll catch you up once we get back to Edoras."

I nodded slowly, though still deeply unsettled by the exchange as we both turned back to Pippin again. "It's a quality establishment!" the red-haired hobbit was saying.

Gimli shook a scolding axe from his spot behind Legolas. "You young rascal!" he cried. "A merry hunt you've led us on, and now we find you feasting, and...a-and smoking!"

Pippin raised an eyebrow and looked down his nose at the dwarf. "We are sitting - standing," he added, nodding to me, "on a field of victory, enjoying a few well-earned comforts." I smirked as the hobbit held up a piece of the meat we'd been eating earlier. "The salted pork is particularly good."

You could almost see Gimli's mouth watering. "S...s-salted pork?"

"Pip, pass me some of that!" I called out to him. He nodded, tossing me a chunk which I easily caught. Gimli stared at it longingly as it sailed through the air.

It was then that Erin noticed the other thing Pippin held in his hand, and her eyes narrowed. "...Pippin, is that... is that a joint?"

His eyes lit up, and he nodded eagerly. "Kaia showed me how to make them! You should try one, Erin, they're quite remarkable!"

I was struggling to smother my laughter as Erin blinked, then shook her head in disbelief. "You know, I think I'm good. But thank you for the offer." As she turned to me, though, I could see a small smile threatening to grow. "Really?" she whispered, also chuckling to herself. "You taught him how to roll a joint?"

"Listen, I'm surprised I even remembered how to do it in the first place," I shot back. "It's been years." She rolled her eyes, though still laughing quietly.

Gandalf just shook his head, unimpressed by all the antics. "Hobbits," he grumbled under his breath.

"So why have you two been sitting out here?" Erin asked Pippin, attempting to get the conversation back on track.

"We're under orders from Treebeard!" he answered, gesturing behind him. "He's in charge of Isengard now, ever since the Ents arrived."

"And he is still here, I presume?" Gandalf asked.

Pippin nodded. "Yes! He's guarding the tower inside."

"Then we must ride forth to meet with him," the wizard replied. "Come, quickly!" Pippin grabbed one last bite of pork before jumping down and running over to the group, hitching a ride with Aragorn.

I climbed onto Erin's horse behind her, noticing Théoden, Éomer, and another man bearing the banner of Edoras beside them. I recognized the king and his nephew, although it'd certainly been awhile since I'd seen them. "So everything went according to plan at Helm's Deep, I assume?" I asked, keeping my voice low.

But again, Erin seemed to hesitate before answering, as if she didn't want to talk about it. "For the most part. Like I said, I'll tell you everything when we get back. I want to wait until we meet up with Kathryn again so I'm not explaining myself twice."

I frowned slightly, surprised as Erin nudged her horse forward. "Kathryn wasn't with you?"

Erin shook her head. "She left for Ithilien not long after we first arrived in Edoras. Something about needing to go find Faramir to respect Boromir's dying wish. I haven't seen her for at least a month."

My frown deepened. "...So how do you know she's coming back?" We passed through the gap in the wall, sloshing forward as our party began to make our way towards Orthanc.

She let out a breath. "I don't. I just keep hoping and praying that she will. That's what I did for you."

My gaze fell, and I was silent for a moment, again unsettled by her somber, almost defeated tone. It was an air that carried throughout the rest of the group as well, which I noticed now as we rode forward. They all seemed... more weary than I remembered. Exhausted and worn down. Clearly things had not gone entirely well since the breaking of the Fellowship, although I couldn't even begin to guess what had happened. But as we continued to press forward, my focus shifted, now turning to the black spike of Orthanc which pierced the dull sky not far ahead. My jaw clenched, and I glared up at the tower, anger and a slight fear sparking in my heart as I remembered who was trapped within. I'd kept myself as far from that place as physically possible ever since my escape. This was closer than I'd been to it in weeks. I wanted to turn back; I wanted to run... but I didn't. I stayed right where I was behind Erin as we slowed, swallowing my fear and forcing myself to look straight ahead as we stopped just a handful of yards from the foot of the tower.

A/N: At long last, book four has begun! Apologies about the delay in getting this first chapter published, but between some nasty writer's block and life getting sufficiently crazier for me over the past month or so, this fic had to take a bit of a backseat for awhile. But now I'm back! And I'm so very excited for where this final book is going to go, so hopefully updates will start to come quicker and more regularly from now on. In any event, though, thank you to those of you who've stuck with this series and continue to read! Love you all!