"What aren't you telling me?" I demanded staring at my father's soft blonde hair.
"Nothing..." Dad was always a terrible liar.
"Yeah, right. You really expect me to believe that?" I hissed back making my father glare at me for my tone of voice.
"Your mother wants to wait until you're older..." Dad told me making me roll my eyes and walk away from him.
Why couldn't they trust me? I felt tears in my eyes and I began to run up the stairs and into the room I shared with my younger brother. Finnick was fiddling with a knot and was startled when I collasped on my bed nearly in tears. Finnick was named after an old friend of Mom and Dad's but they never explained who he was... Finnick found his way over to my bed wrapping me in a hug, "You okay?"
"Dad... he won't tell me anything," I replied into my brother's chest.
I had my mother's dark hair but my father's blue eyes and Finnick had our father's blonde hair and our mother's gray eyes. I most definently had my father's personality and way of thinking; I didn't understand my mother's reasoning half the time. I was soft spoken, good with words, and kind; the exact opposite of my mother.
"Me either, Johanna," Finnick told me making me even more bitter because they told me I was named after an old friend, like Finnick, but never explained why.
I saw Dad enter the room and I sat up straighter as he sat next to us. He wrapped his arms around us as Mom came in joining the hug.
"You know how you learned about the old Panem in school?" Dad asked softly making us nod, "The Hunger Games... Your mother and I were tributes in the 74th and 75th Hunger Games. We were the victor's that caused the rebelion." Mom and Dad took turns explaining different parts of their past including why were named after their friends. I stood up shaking my head and sprinted down the stairs, out the door, and to the Hawthorne's house. Mr. Hawthorne used to be Mom's best friend until he became a part of a trap that killed my aunt. Mom still can't think of him the same way. Mr. Hawthorne got married to a girl named Delly, who was Dad's old friend. They had a son, about my age, who I talked to constantly. They also had a daughter, who was three years younger and his mom was pregnant. We were fifteen and we were very much best friends. I wiped tears from my cheeks angrily as I knocked. Mr. Hawthorne opened the door and yelled for his son, Rory. The Hawthornes lived in District Two for a short while before deciding Twelve was where they belonged. Rory came bounding down the stairs and Mr. Hawthorne invited me in but I shook my head and pulled Rory outside. We ran into the woods where I finally broke down into Rory's arms.
"Hey, what's wrong?" Rory asked gently stroking my hair.
"Mom and Dad told me everything. Everything, Ror. The Hunger Games, the rebelion, and who I was named after," I murmured against his shoulder.
"Woah, slow down. You mean you know everything now?" Rory asked looking me in the eyes.
I nodded making him say, "I don't think I could have kept it from you any longer."
I smacked him hard against his chest, "You knew, you jerk?" Rory nodded making me feel worse.
"I wasn't allowed to tell you, and believe me it was quite a shock when I learned my dad's part in the death of your aunt-" Rory stopped when I began to cry harder, "Don't cry, Jo. Please."
"What if history repeats itself?" I asked as Rory locked his arms around my waist.
"It won't. The Games were a horrible, inhumane thing and were created by a sick, pessimestic man that is dead," Rory comforted.
"So many people died because of our parents," I whispered.
"So many people lived because of our parents," Rory countered.
I saw my dad's frame as he approached us, his expression worried. I didn't move; I let Rory keep his arms around me.
"It's a lot to process, huh?" Dad asked standing next to us.
"Kinda," I replied closing my eyes.
"It's okay..." Dad trailed off looking at me.
"Those people were horrible, Dad. I-I can't believe they did that to you," I told him in disbelief.
"I know they are, honey. That's why they're gone. I need to go back and see how your mom is doing with Finnick. Rory, you can come back to the house if you'd like," Dad offered turning to walk back to the house.
"You want me to come back with you?" Rory asked his arms tell around me tightly.
"Please," I replied wiping tears from my cheeks.
Rory released his grip on me and jogged to his house to go tell his parents where he was going. He jogged back out and we walked to my house where Dad was sitting on the couch. Mom and Finnick must be upstairs. I sat next to my dad pulling Rory on the other side of me.
"You know how scared we were of you guys finding out about our role in the war and what not?" Dad asked me eyeing Rory and I asked I grasped his hand.
"No," I replied knowing the intimate touch was making my dad uncomfortable.
"We were so scared because we knew you would react like you did. I'm glad you have Rory though..." Dad trailed off.
I nodded as he got up to go see how Finnick was doing. I turned to Rory and he bit his lip nervously.
"You know your dad loved my mom?" I asked quietly.
"Yeah... Dad sees her in you. I think you're more like your father in terms of personality but Dad insists you are like your mother in more then one way," Rory replied as I pressed my back against his chest letting him wrap his arms around me.
Mom told me Rory's personality was much like Mr. Hawthorne's in terms of being protective. Mr. Hawthorne was always very protective of the people he loved and Rory was the same way. She obviously saw something in my relationship with Rory that I didn't. Mom was scared of what she saw with Rory and I; maybe because of her relationship with his father, I don't know but she seemed to be very weary of Rory.
"You're a lot like your dad according to my mom," I murmured feeling safe in Rory's arms.
"How so?" Rory asked me.
"You're very protective of the people you love," I replied resting the arms on top of his.
"Like?" Rory questioned.
"Me," I replied thinking back to the conversation I had with my mom about him.
Rory blushed but he subconciously tightened his grip on my waist. I smiled lightly and he replied, "So what?"
"You're sweet," I teased rotating so I could see his face.
"I care about you," Rory replied seriously making me lock eyes with him.
"In what way?" I asked not breaking eye contact.
"I-I'm not sure," Rory admitted.
I was ataken aback by this; I had never given it any thought. Rory was my best friend and, sure, I had a crush on him when we were younger but I had never thought about falling in love with him. Dad, Mom, and Finnick saved me from my thoughts by taking seats in the room Rory and I were in. Mom glanced at Rory's protective hold on me and a look of... alarm? happiness? relief? I'm not sure but something flashed across her face. I sighed against Rory's body and let myself relax. Finnick was rubbing his temple and Dad had an arm around him.
"Can I talk with you?" Mom asked me making me wiggle out of Rory's grip.
I followed Mom into her and Dad's room where we sat on the bed.
"What's going on with you and Rory?" Mom asked me worry coating her words.
"We're just friends, Mom. I swear," I replied.
"He's very protective of you," Mom told me crossing her arms over her chest.
"I know... Mom, he's my best friend," I told her quietly.
"I know, Johanna. Be careful... You guys are a little too much like your father's," Mom sighed standing up and I walked back down stairs .
I took my seat by Rory and he put his arms around me again. I felt safe and I liked the feeling I got when he was holding me. I had my head against his chest and Dad looked at us uncomfortably. Too much like our father's? What did she mean by that? I assummed there were things I didn't know because some things are things you just can't explain. I must have been lost in thought for quite a while because Rory's not one to interupt my thinking unless it seems self destructive.
"Jo?" Rory asked staring at me.
"What? Sorry," I replied lacing my fingers with his.
"Are you okay?" Rory asked making me sigh.
"I'm fine, Ror," I told him.
Rory shook his head because he knew me better then I even knew me. I sighed and turned so my face was buried in his chest.
"I love you," I murmured wrapping my arms around his waist. My dad was still watching but I didn't care.
"I love you too," Rory replied rubbing my back.
I felt Dad's eyes burn into the back of my head as I kept my cheek pressed to Rory's chest. I heard someone coming down the stairs and it was probably Mom. Dad got up and almost shoved mom into the bathroom closing the door. Finnick was staring at us making me uncomfortable.
"We're going in the backyard," I told Finnick pulling Rory in the backyard.
We stood there for a minute before I got lost in thought making Rory hug me against his chest. Did I love Rory as more then a friend? Was he the guy I wanted to marry? These thoughts scared the heck out of me. I was outspoken but things like this scared me; Mom was like this too. That's why Mr. Hawthorne was convinced I was like my mom; I couldn't bring myself to love anyone. I decided to prove everyone wrong; I raised my head and stood on the tips of my toes to kiss Rory. I pressed my lips to his and he leaned down so I wasn't so uncomfortable. I gasped when I felt a hand on my shoulder and would have fallen backwards if Dad hadn't caught me. Mom was standing by the door looking distressed. Rory was bright red and Dad nodded when he started back home. Mom and Dad made me sit on the ground as they lectured me. Or so I thought.
"Johanna, what's going on with you and Rory?" Mom asked quietly.
"I'm not sure..." I replied wishing Rory was still here.
"Well, I want you to be careful. His father-" Mom began only for me to cut her off.
"Oh, would you stop it with the 'his father' stuff? Rory is a different person and so am I. I may have Dad's eyes and your hair but I'm different!" I exclaimed.
"I know you guys are different but I see a lot of your father's in you two and that's not a combination for sucess," Mom replied as Dad wrapped an arm around her shoulders.
"It's not even the same place it was when you were our age! We won't start a rebilion, we won't be tributes, and we won't be the cause of death of hundreds of people!" I exclaimed making Mom's eyes shine with tears. Mom ran inside and Dad ran after her making me feel terrible. I never should have said that... I buried my face in my hands and began to cry. Dad came back outside and sat by me. He pulled me in a hug and I cried against him.
"I never should have said that, Dad. I'm so sorry," I sobbed.
"I know but be careful what you say. Mom is very fragile about her past; it nearly killed her, me, and Mr. Hawthorne," Dad explained as I lifted my head up.
"I will. I was just mad that she's treating me like I'm just an... extension of you," I told him making him nod.
"I know. Mr. Hawthorne was in love with your mom at one point and your mom may have loved him back at one time or another... then I came along. Mr. Hawthorne and I were never very... compatible. I think you and Rory amy help our familes become close again. You know, Rory is named after his uncle... his uncle was killed a few years after the war by people who believed the Capitol was the best way," Dad told me.
"Why'd you wait so long to tell us?" I asked quietly.
"So you'd fully understand," Dad explained.
I rolled my eyes making Dad go, "Johanna Primrose Mellark!"
"Sorry, sorry," I replied softly.
Dad nodded and I asked, "Can I go over and talk to Rory?" Dad nodded and I hugged him walking over to Rory's house. Rory was sitting on the steps and I sat next to him.
"You alright?" I asked quietly.
"Yeah," Rory replied as his dad came out to sit by us.
"So, Katniss told you, eh?" Mr. Hawthorne asked.
"Yeah..." I trailed off as he spoke, "I thought she'd keep it from you for as long as possible or until Peeta talked her ear off about it."
I didn't say anything but I stared at Mr. Hawthorne blankly. I felt Rory's arm slip around me and I rested my head on his shoulder as Mr. Hawthorne stood up. He walked inside and I relaxed a bit. I had an uncomfortable feeling around Mr. Hawthorne because of his involvment in my aunt's death.
"I-I can't," I stuttered looking at Rory.
"Can't what?" Rory asked gently.
"Be here... Your dad... My aunt..." I trailed off standing up.
"Jo," Rory murmured catching my arm as I began to walk back to my house.
"Ror, his device killed my aunt," I replied as I pulled away from him.
"I know but he's my dad," Rory told me making me look over at him.
"And I can't..." I told him tears rolling down my face.
I knew Rory understood when his arms enclosed around me. I cried while Rory held me and I felt really broken when he carried me home. He set me in bed and I caught his arm so he wouldn't leave. He sat on my bed and watched me as I fell asleep. I had a nightmere about being in the Games, and woke up at three panting. Rory was leaning against my bed frame sleeping so I went back to sleep only to wake up again at five with more nightmeres. I got up at that point and took a shower. I wrapped myself in a towel and walked into my room forgeting Rory was sleeping in there. He was awake and I blushed heavily when I relized the towel only covered my chest down to my upper thigh.
"Uh..." I murmured blushing.
Rory turned away as I grabbed clothes from my drawers. I quickly dress in the bathroom and entered my room quietly because it was five in the morning. I sat on my bed by Rory letting him put an arm around me. At about seven we seperated and walked downstairs where Finnick was eating some toast. Mom and Dad were watching TV when a emegency broadcast came on.
"BREAKING NEWS! District Five is in a civil war because President Kalma asked for a cure for cancer in a week. President Kalma was diagonosed with Stage One Leuikimia and only has a few years left to live. All alive citizens of Panem that were involved in the Rebel War are to report to the Capitol by tomorrow with their children. President Kalma wants to send these adults and childeren into District Five to fight." This was enough to send me over the deep end; I sprinted out the door, into the woods, and climbed onto the first strong limb of my favorite tree. I felt like the past two days and been perfectly planned so I would have a complete break down. I saw Dad sprinting towards me and I looked down at him.
"Jo," Dad murmured grabbing me by the hips and lifting my down.
Dad was really tall and I hadn't climbed that far up.
"Johanna... We have to go. If we were still seventeen Mom would say that we would stay in District Twelve but we're not. We have to think about what would be done to you and Finnick. We're leaving today along with Gale-Mr. Hawthorne's family. We're all going together because, well, that's how we survived the Rebel War. Come on, Jo," Dad told me leading me to the house where Mom and Finnick were packing. Mom was quickly doing things; probably because she was scared. Whenever she was scared or nervous she did things quickly. Dad's eyes glazed over and Mom quickly pushed him in a chair where he clutched the arms. I now understood why; he still had episodes where the hijacking took over. This scared me because I knew what horrible things they mixed up in his head. They made Mom look horribly evil in his mind and now I knew what to do if he were to ever go after her. We didn't exist when he was hijacked so in his confused mind we're his children that he would never hurt. I would stand in front of Mom.
I've always noticed that Dad is the kid person, Mom loves us but I get the feeling Dad was the one who wanted kids. Dad's eyes became his normal clear blue again and he stood up. I began to help pack and we were done very quickly. We met the Hawthorne's at the train station and Rory came to stand by me. He must have went home after I ran out. His little sister, Vicia, was clinging to her dad, and Mr. Hawthorne was holding Mrs. Hawthorne's hand. Mrs. Hawthorne's other hand rested on her stomach. She was about six months pregnant and she was huge. Vicia had her dad's hard gray eyes and her mom's yellow hair. Rory was his dad. Mom often talked about what Mr. Hawthorne looked like when he was Rory's age, and Rory was Mr. Hawthorne. Rory was very tall, had dark hair, olive skin, and gray eyes. Rory looked like he was in his twenties already and he made me look like a woodland creature. I was small; I had a small waist but I was also tall. I was taller then Mom, who was five seven so I was probably around five nine. Dad was six three, Mr. Hawthorne was six four, and Rory was six two. Okay, I didn't look like a woodland creature next to Rory but I felt like it. I was small even though I was well fed. My waist was very small and stomach was flat. Most of my height was in my legs. I spent a lot of time flipping around. I did backflips, frontflips, cartwheels, handstands, and every other flip you can think of. I was a very talented fighter, hunter, and flipper. I was handy with a bow and so was Rory. This is part of the reason our relationship scared Mom; we were exactly like her and Mr. Hawthorne. I grasped Rory's hand as the train pulled up. We boarded and we were all shoved into one room. Mom and Dad sat on the floor where Mister and Missus Hawthorne sat in front of them. Mom looked uncomfortable but Dad easily started talking with Mrs. Hawthorne while Mom tried talking with Mr. Hawthone. Finnick rubbed his temple looking very uncomfortable when Vicia started a conversation with him. Dad and I were the only two out of our family that could talk easily. Rory and I found a corner of the room away from our parents and sat down. He spread his legs and I sat inbetween them while he wrapped his arms around me.
"Look's your mom and my dad have made up," Rory commented as our parents hugged.
Dad and Mrs. Hawthorne were talking very seriously because they haven't talked in years because of my mom and Mr. Hawthorne's feud. Finnick and Vicia seemed to warm up to each other, and Rory and I were just sitting. I would have to talk to Mr. Hawthorne because if Mom could forgive him I could too. I sighed and stood up pulling Rory with me. I walked over to where our parents were sitting and Mom smiled.
"Hi guys," Mom told us.
"C-can I talk with Mr. Hawthorne?" I asked shakily.
Mom shot me a questioning look but Mr. Hawthorne nodded. We walked over to where Rory and I had been sitting and sat in front of him.
"What happened? Why did Mom explain it as you killed her sister?" I asked quietly.
"I, well, I kind of did. I didn't mean too by any means. I created a device that would hurt Capitol residents; Prim wasn't supposed to be there. Katniss was my best friend; I would never have killed Prim on purpose. I didn't order the drop either; it was Coin. Katniss hasn't fully understood until today. She finally forgave me as much as she can," Mr. Hawthorne explained.
"Mr. Hawthorne-" I was cut off by him.
"Please, call me Gale," he replied.
"Okay. I'm really sorry for freaking out," I told him.
"It's fine, Johanna. I'm really glad I get to be a part of my best friend's life again. I also look foward to getting to know my son's best friend," Gale said winking at me.
"What would you like to know?" I asked warmly.
I was very much like my dad, I was open. Mom couldn't do this.
"How about your full name?"
"Johanna Primrose Mellark."
I talked with Gale for a long time until we knew each other very well. His son was my best friend. Rory was talking to my parents and Mrs. Hawthorne came over and sat my Gale. Gale laced their fingers together and Mrs. Hawthorne smiled. Gale started explaining everything to her and I was told to call her Delly. Delly and Gale went to sit with my parents while Rory came back over by me. I felt a lot more at ease now that our familes were getting along. I rested my head on Rory's shoulder and fell asleep. I was aroused by Rory telling me we were at the Capitol. We laced our fingers together and walked to the bus station. All of our were sticking together and we were driven the the mansion. We were led to a room where a bunch of people were. There were five adults in the room other then President Kalma. Then there were five kids. Mom whispered who they were, "Annie and her child, Johanna, her husband, and two children, Enobaria, her husband, and child, Betee, and Haymitch." They were the only other survivors of the war.
"Hello, surviors of the Rebel War! You have proved to be quite useful, and if you are useful your children must be. The Rebel War was almost thirty years ago, and thus you surviors are getting older. We will send your childeren in to fight while you stay back to stragize. We can't have another war on our hands!" Presedent Kalma told us making Gale stand up.