Disclaimer: All the real names of places, people, and events have been altered or abbreviated to protect the innocent. Namely, me.
hey people!
It's almost the end of summer, where we put store our gorgeous Missoni pastel-coloured bikini's and Christian Louboutin strappy sandals in the back of the closet and bring out the warm cardigan sweaters and straight leg jeans we've been dying to wear since they came back in style! No more preppy boys sprawled out on their backs, smearing Coppertone onto their defined abs, listening to their loud rock music off their iPod Nano's. Now, we'll be bundled up, carrying the cute little Louis Vuitton hand bags we got over the summer break, and heading off to college in only one more month. Au revoir, Upper East Side burn outs at Central Park all afternoon. Bonjour, college preps tossing frisbee's around the campus!
Speaking of college, we'll also get to fly there - first class! The usual champagne and comfortable pillows that will greet us the minute we step onto our private jets or first class airlines. What will college life welcome us with? Other than the non-stop cram sessions and late night pizza cravings, but we'll meet new people, and not just any people. College men, to be exact. Finally, the moment most of us have been waiting for; men! More muscular, mature, and sexy men. Most girls around here would kill to have that opportunity, except for one.
And you all know who I'm talking about.
Your e-mail
Q: Dear GG,
I don't know where to start. In the fall, I'm supposed to be going to Yale, but my step-dad and mom are starting to change their minds. They want me to stay in L.A. and look after our new cocker spaniel puppies and my more-than-annoying-copy-cat step-sister while they go cruising in the Bahama's. I want to step up to them, and tell them what I think about it, but I don't know what I should say. What do you suggest?
- Burned and Broken
A: Dear B&B,
Parents can be the hardest, or the easiest people to deal with. Tell them exactly what you're planning on studying at Yale, and then toss those gorgeous long, or short, locks of yours and tell them they can find a maid to do the work. No teenager deserves to turn out one of to be one of those people.
- GG
Q: Dear GG,
I just saw the weirdest thing down on 5th Avenue; a gorgeous blonde girl who looked a lot like S swinging her arms around a hunky tanned boy who looked like a much-hotter version of N, and not only that, but there's been a rumor going around that S hooked up with Blair's old hubby, Lord M! Is it true?
-Rumor Has It
A: Dear RHI,
Well, I've never heard about this rumor, but what would that guy be doing back in New York when he could be sitting on his tight little ass and sipping cups of tea while eating crumpets with his so-called "cousin" back home, hm?
Sightings
B and N walking around Central Park around 9 o'clock at night, holding hands and sharing the same over-coat. Aw, how adorable are they? You know you're all jealous that you could never score such a hunk like N, correct? S sitting at the dirtiest-looking Starbucks in the Upper West Side, smoking a Camel and reading The New Yorker. Woah, since when did S start reading The New-fucking-Yorker? And such a grim-looking Starbucks? She's really losing her femininity. V and D having a deep conversation on a bench outside of Strand, the bookstore Dan got a summer job at a few weeks ago. Not only were they having a deep conversation, V was actually grazing her hand up D's leg. Hubba hubba! K coming out of a changing room at Barney's, wearing a very tacky-looking orange halter top, and deffinately not designer either, modeling it to her good companion I. Rumor has it, K's parents are going under some very serious finanical problems. Aw, what happened now? Did daddy not have enough money to buy his little K a pony?
Who knows what else August has in store for us, but if it was any more exciting than July, I think we have a lot to look forward to.
You know you love me,
gossip girl