This is a suggested season 8 of Buffy if the show had continued, there are some parallels between my version and the season 8 that exists in comic form. It'll be primarily Spuffy and for now a slight crossover with where Angel finished. Not sure how long they'll remain fighting side by side but I'll just see where this goes for now. Please read and review. Criticism welcome.

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The events that occurred post apocalypse all blurred together in Buffy's eyes. They were victorious, that feeling she was used to but it was the foreign feeling that she was no longer the only slayer that was unsettling. She knew she should have been happy, ecstatic even the other potentials were and the gang but for her she felt more detached than ever. She knew no other life than the life of the chosen one, one, singular not plural. She as Willow had said could take a break, be normal. Yet she wasn't comfortable with that. The group that had survived had driven to LA to seek medical attention, make contact and recuperate. The entire ride there Buffy had remained quiet and at the back of the bus alone, Xander and Willow tried to talk to her but she insisted she was just tired. She was, that wasn't a lie however she had more on her mind than just resting. All her thoughts would lead back to the last moments she shared with Spike. He had sacrificed himself for the world and she loved him. She really did even if he didn't believe her. Yet another man lost because of her job, her calling and she hated it.

When they reached LA it was night and the hospital was their first stop. Willow and Xander helped the injured potentials to the ER and remained with them, Faith was with Wood and Giles had remained behind to stay with Buffy. The slayer was eager to just leave and be alone but it wasn't as though she had anywhere to go. LA wasn't her stomping ground, she didn't know it the way she used to as a kid. Giles returned to the waiting room with a cup of coffee in hand for Buffy. He sat besides her and looked at her with concern in his eyes.

"Buffy, it's okay for you to close your eyes now"

"I know...it's just...Never mind" She said despondently as she sipped her coffee.

"Spike" Giles said quietly, it was no secret he never liked the vampire, in fact none of the gang really did but he knew how Buffy felt about him and he couldn't ignore the sacrifice Spike had made for the world.

"He's gone, for real this time"

"Despite my feelings towards him what he did was truly heroic. That is what he wanted, that is what you wanted for him" Lifting his arm he placed it around the vulnerable slayer.

"That doesn't make it any easier. I love...loved him and the only time I ever said it was right before..." She left the sentence open, her eyes began to well up with tears but she wasn't ready to shed them. Taking a deep breath she rose from the seat.

"Look I'm going to check on the others" Giles simply nodded, knowing that now was not the time to discuss her romantic feelings for Spike.

Instead of heading to the ER where the others were located she went outside, the fresh night air helped her to breath but it didn't stop her from feeling as though she was suffocating. A familiar feeling that she hardly wanted to invite back in with open arms. Sitting down on a near by bench she buried her head in her hands and let the tears stream down her face. Tears for Spike, tears for the potentials that died, tears for Anya, tears for herself, tears of happiness. In the midst of it all she was unaware that Angel had been standing behind her, he had escaped from Sunnydale before all the action went down but he knew about the events that had transpired. As soon as he had got word that Buffy was heading to LA he had gone where his instincts led him. Stepping out of the shadows he moved to sit besides Buffy, he could see her pain and it hurt him but he knew she would survive it. Buffy sniffed back the sobs when she felt Angel's presence besides her, she knew he was there even before he had sat besides her but it didn't bother her that he had been watching. It made it easier.

"You did it" He said quietly wraping Buffy in his arms.

"I did" She replied equally as quiet as she collapsed into his arms.

"You can finally have that normal life you always wanted"

"Maybe, if I want it anymore" She turned her head to look at Angel and in an instant she could tell that Angel understood.

"He really was in your heart wasn't he" There was no hint of jealousy in his voice, it was all sincere. A love like theirs never faded even when Buffy loved another.

"For a long time before I could admit it" She was only now admitting it to herself, still coming to terms with what it meant to love him and now she had lost him.

"You're going to get through this. It's what he would want. It's what I want" It was hard for Angel to acknowledge Spike as someone Buffy could love but his act of heroism proved that he was worthy.

"I know, and I'll be perfectly normal peppy Buffy, slaying...or not" She said trying to gain a resolve but it wasn't fooling Angel.

"If you and the others need a place to stay I can set you up" The change of subject was what Buffy wanted.

"Angel...I-we can't impose"

"It's the least I can do for the person who saved the world for...what the third time?" He said with a smirk.

"Yeah something like that but who's counting" She said with a small smile. She pulled free of Angel's embrace and rose to her feet.

"I'll let the others know that we have a place to stay now"

"I'll be waiting" Angel said standing to face her.

Buffy had followed Giles around the world to assist in training various slayers in mystical hot spots. It helped to distract her, he friends had gone with her and they also helped to distract her but every night when she went to sleep the memories were there. Their last words, last moment, she could feel his burning hand around hers and she never wanted to let go. Every morning however she was forced to face the world without him and hole inside her never completely closed up. Days passed and things were familiar, she slayed, she trained she taught all in different places but never where she really wanted to be. Rome was where things looked as though they'd be picking up, she met the immortal and initially she was not seeking his comfort but she couldn't stand being alone with her thoughts any longer. The situation was similar to how she used Spike but she never thought of it in that light, she was simply waiting for him to return. She knew it was unlikely he would but she had to think something. It was a different dynamic but she let it consume her, those around her were not convinced she was okay but realised she had to do something to keep on going.

It was harder than it all seemed, especially with the recurring nightmares and memories of Spike. Everyone around her could see the pain she was in but their attempts to ease it were unsuccessful. One morning she was awoken by a phone call from Giles, telling her that he was returning to LA to help Angel with the senior partners of Wolfram and Hart. She was well aware of what was happening in Angel's side of the world and at first she wasn't going to go. She wasn't even sure if the immortal would let her but at some point she realised she had to help. Buffy walked out of Rome as quickly has she had walked in, as though it was the easiest thing in the world. As soon as she arrived back in La she had no time reacquaint herself with all her old friends, or even get herself up to speed. It was straight into battle. And there he was, it was all so sudden and she had no time to process. Giles had called on as many contacts as possible to help in the efforts, Willow with more control over her magic than ever fought along side also. It was like riding a bike she never forgot how to fight and right in the midst of the battle she saw him. She faltered but it wasn't the time to dwell she would do that after. That battle was nothing compared to the trials and tribulations she had endured, allies died a factor she was well aware of but once it was over she had to escape quicker than before. No one had a chance to notice she had run off, especially not Spike.

Her scent hadn't changed though, he was able to track her to a nearby abandoned building. She had collapsed in a heap, her injuries taking a toll her already. The adrenaline not enough to keep her standing. Spike could barely stand himself having been battling for longer than she. He had to brace himself on a pillar just to keep from collapsing right by her. He looked at her and in an instant he could tell she was stronger than ever, still the woman he loved very much. All the time he knew she was in the city but he couldn't risk seeing her again, knowing what it would do to her, knowing she deserved better. Taking a breath he edged closer and knelt down near her. She was aware of his presence, she could see him as she laid huddled, tears already sliding down her cheeks. She couldn't believe he was alive, and she wondered for how long, she hadn't been able to move on. It had been almost a year by this point since the hellmouth and she still was unable to get him out of her system. Seeing him now was tearing open wounds that had barely healed, reminding her of how much she really loved him. He hadn't changed, same blue eyes, same bleached hair and the leather jacket was still on him.

"Buffy" Spike, gently caresses the side of her face, she flinches unable to comprehend his reality. His hand falters and pulls away, unsure of what he is doing to her.

"How?" She whispers, refusing to look at him.

"Shhh it doesn't matter" He know it does but he knows now is not the time to explain.

"How long..." She says finally lifting her eyes to meet his. Her eyes bloodshot from the tears.

"A while love" He says grinning ever so slightly as he looks at her, her top is torn revealing a nasty wound, she has a black eye and a bruised jaw but still he knows that it's not causing the pain she is in. "Not even here for five minutes and I'm causin you pain"

"The good kind" Buffy reaches for his hand and interlaces her fingers through his.

"It's never the good kind, I'd never want you to be in pain pet" Spike slowly lies down besides her so that he can see her at eye level.

"Never was your choice though" She can smell his scent, she never forgot it. Already she feels a little better.

"I thought about you every day you know, about what you said, about that night" Slowly he runs his forefinger along the side of her cheek.

She grabs his hand and presses it to her face so that she can feel him, she knows he's really there. "Don't go"

"I won't" He wraps his other arm around her and pulls her into him. They both wince, he has broken ribs and probably a lot more injuries but he's never felt so content.
"I meant it you know" She said referring to the last time they spoke.

"What are you doing here? I mean...Rome" He blurted out after having to comprehend what she had just said, a rush of feelings flooding back reminding him of what they had. "The...immortal"

"Giles...he asked...wait how did you know about him?" She said trying to prop herself up but she didn't have the strength.

"Well...Angel and I we were in Rome...I saw you" He knew he probably should have waited to have this conversation but it was happening now and he couldn't stop it.

"You were in Rome?" She said in a barely audible voice, her tone cracking ever so slightly. If she had of known Spike was alive she never would have left California. It wasn't as though she had been happy in her relationship with the immortal. It was just killing time.

"Yeah, I didn't come to see you because you looked happy" It was the truth, at least that's what he thought he saw.

"You're still an idiot" Buffy said looking at him incredulously, had he seen her properly because she wasn't happy, he must have had his eyes closed.

"Wow I haven't heard that in a while" He scoffed, looking at her with a slight hint of disbelief in his eyes. "You looked pretty chummy with the immortal, by the way what do you see in the git?" Things were falling back into their same pace, and he hadn't meant for it to go this way.

"It didn't mean anything" She retorted, her voice rising.

"OH, so that makes it okay, using another one are you" He accused, his voice matching hers.

"God Spike, I thought we sorted this out. I. Love. You. When will you get it through your thick skull" Her lower lip trembling slightly.

Those words softened Spike, his hand moved to cradle her face and he grinned slightly.

"Just wanted to hear you say it pet"

Buffy swatted his shoulder but she wasn't mad at him. It was understandable that he didn't see her, it probably hurt him too.

"It wasn't easy for me you know, not seeing you that is" Spike pulled her body back into his.

"I'm sorry, it was just hard" She rested her head in the crook of his neck. The tiredness taking over.

Spike ran his fingers through her golden hair, watching he fall asleep, wishing he'd never left in the first place. He loved to just hold her.

Buffy could feel the warmth of the sun shining through a broken window onto her leg, her eyes opened to see Spike asleep besides her. He always looked so calm when asleep as though things were simpler. They weren't though, things were more complicated than ever. She had no right to barge back into his life and do this to him, she had put him through so much and she was doing it again because it's what she wanted. No matter how much she had let him in, part of her knew she was bad for him. He was a hero and he deserved something real, something she wasn't sure she could provide. Reluctantly she lifted Spike's arm from around her waist and rose to her feet shakily. She had to get back to the hotel, check on Dawn and the others, think about what it was she was doing. She looked back at Spike one last time before turning and leaving.

When she arrived back at the hotel she found Dawn slumped in a chair in the lobby, she must have fallen asleep while waiting for her, Buffy crouched down in front of her and placed her hands on her sisters knees. Dawn felt the touch and slowly woke up, she smile at the sight of her sister. She hated worrying about her, always wondering if she had died again or withdrawn completely. The past year hadn't exactly been easy on Dawn either, deciding that she wanted to follow in Giles footsteps, watching her sister grieve for the man she lost. It wasn't as though she hadn't been upset by Spike's death either, even after what he had put her sister through she still cared about him. He was like a cool uncle. Dawn had watched her sister closely, always checking to see if she was okay but it was always apparent that she wasn't. It wasn't the same as when they had brought her back, it was a different kind of detachment, similar to when she had killed Angel.

"We were worried about you, where were you?" She finally asked.

"I just had to get out of there. Where are the others?" She asked looking around at what appeared to be an empty building.

"Oh, Willow is upstairs trying to heal Gunn's wounds but they are pretty bad, Giles is with Angel, they are talking, sounded important. Xander passed out in one of the bedrooms upstairs." Dawn hadn't really received the answer she had wanted but Buffy wasn't so great at sharing her feelings.

"You should probably go get some rest" Buffy said standing and looking around at the deserted lobby.

Dawn signed, it was becoming apparent that Buffy wasn't going to tell her anything until she was ready or she heard it from someone else. Removing herself from the seat she dragged her feet towards the stairs. Her older sister following behind.

"Buffy, you probably need more rest than me you know"

"I'll rest when I've got time, you on the other hand have plenty so resting is what you'll be doing" Although Buffy couldn't see it Dawn was screwing up her nose as she walked to the nearest empty room.
"I saw that!" Buffy said, not entirely sure what it was she was claiming to see but she knew her sister all too well. She made sure her sister went into the room before going in search of Giles and Angel. If there was an important conversation going on she wanted to be apart of it. She was the chosen one after all, well maybe not any more but she was the most experienced slayer out of the thousands.

"Are you sure that's what happened" Giles said removing his glasses and polishing them with a near by cloth.

Angel was leaning against a chest of drawers with his arms crossed over his chest, he had seen better days and should have been asleep but too many things were whirling around his brain. "Look they had the chance to pulverise us, they definitely had the upper hand but they retreated and it sure as hell wasn't because they were scared" Angel put his hand in his pocket and dug around for something, he pulled out of his pocket a scrap of cloth with some markings on it.

Giles took the cloth from Angel and looked at it curiously. The symbols were ancient that much he could tell, other than that he wasn't entirely sure what it meant. However if it had any kind of involvement with the reason why the legions of demons retreated then it was important. There was a strange mystical force surrounding the symbol that Giles could feel, it was perturbing and he quickly put the scrap on the table. Both he and Angel looking at it curiously.

"All I can tell is it's dark and powerful, I don't know if we have time to research this before they strike again"

"For now I think we have bought ourselves some time, they left for a reason, you were at your most vulnerable when they attacked. The best thing you can possibly do at the moment is take time to regroup, I'll begin researching this and see if I can contact the slayers in Scotland and Rome to come and bulk up our forces.

"And Buffy?" Angel said knowing they would have to inform her eventually.

"We will inform her once we know more" Giles rose from his seat and readjusted his glasses, leaving to go and make some phone calls. Angel remained behind, pondering the situation even further.