"I want to be more than who I am."
Kate barrels through the door as Castle stares at her. After everything that happened this week, she was the last person he expected.
"Kate, what are you doing here?"
Castle startles as her hand grabs his, linking their fingers together. This is a Beckett he's never seen before. She seems…open. He tries to keep himself from letting his surprised reaction fall from his lips as she pulls his body to the couch, urging him to join her.
"Castle, I want to be more than who I am."
His desire to understand circumvents the part of him that tells him to be patient, to wait for what she has to say. "You said that already…but what does that mean?"
For a moment he sees a shadow cross her face, as if she suddenly realized that she was here. She removes her hand from his, looking like she might bolt at any moment. He knew he had to say something to keep this beautiful, open version of the woman he loves right here next to him.
He places both of his hands on hers, entwining their fingers. His thumb brushes along her hand.
"I mean, I'm glad you are here. Tell me why you think you need to be more than you?"
Kate visibly relaxes and grips his hand. "I've spent my entire life letting what happened define who I am. All I've ever been is a daughter who lost her mother and is driven to right the wrongs of the world."
"But that's a good thing, Kate. That's why I fell in lo…" He stops, realizing what he was about to say. "That's why you inspire me."
"But I want to be more. I never thought I could have more or be more. But then…you." She says the last part quietly, refusing to meet his eyes.
His breath catches in his throat. Could she mean what he thinks she means? He places his hand under her chin and pulls her face up to meet his. "Me… what?"
She appears to gather her strength and does something so completely out of character that he has to blink his eyes to make sure this isn't a dream. She pulls her body off the couch and sits squarely in his lap.
"You, Castle. You made me want more. You made me want to fall in love. You made me want to have a relationship, a life with someone. A part of me died on the same night that my mom did. That part wants to become alive again, because of you."
She leans overs and grabs her lips with his. He can't believe this is happening. Her mouth is insistent. He soon becomes a willing participant and runs his hand over her shoulders, lingering across her back and then finally finding a place just below her waist. Her tongue demands entry into his mouth and he willingly allows access. This woman in his arms was everything that he had dreamed of for the past four years. But what did this sudden show of affection mean? He didn't think he could handle having Kate for one night and then having to let her go. This would break him. With that thought, he pulls back.
"Kate, does this mean you want…us?"
His heart sinks as she pulls off of him, once again taking her place on the couch.
"I do want us, Castle. But I'm scared. I'm not sure that I know how to be more than who I am."
He swallows, wanting to understand. "What are you scared of, Kate? I love you. If you want us, we can figure out how to do this."
The words fall rapidly out of her mouth. "I'm scared that I can't commit to you more than I commit to my mother's death. I'm scared of how much I care about you. I'm scared that one day we will get married and I'll walk away because this drive inside of me is like an addiction. Most of all, I fear that when you realize how much work I really am, you won't want me."
Castle's jaw drops open. Is this the same Kate that he left at the precinct today? This open, beautiful woman before him laying her heart out is so different than the Beckett that he is used to.
"Kate, I know who you are. I've known who you are since I started shadowing you. I love that you chase after justice, that you are committed to getting to the truth no matter what. If one day, I'm lucky enough to marry you, I will fight for you every day of our lives." He placesd his hand on her cheek, running his finger along her jawline.
"If you walk away because you are chasing this addiction, I won't stop fighting for you and for us. I've known you were worth it since the day we met. I will never let you go."
Tears fell from her eyes as her gaze met his, "Then, Castle?"
"Yes," he answered.
"Help me to be the person that you think that I am," she whispers.
"You already are," he said as he pulls her back into his arms.